I liked the idea you put forth, but my attention drifted because of the length. You might want to consider shortening the poem, which I believe might strengthen the impact of your intention.
Interesting, thought provoking, and well put together. However, I do not 'get' the purpose of inserting three foreign language paragraphs. Perhaps "two mind modes" is the answer.
Oh, there is a lot of truth in this dialogue! The aging process has a great majority of us sighing, "... I don't recognize that face staring back at me."
You hit the nail on the head. The writing is clear, making the read all the more pleasurable.
While your piece is short, it contains wisdom. I would, however, replace the word 'diminishing' as it can be understood as 'less valuable.' Perhaps 'ebbing' might be more impactful.
Your second paragraph says it all, Claude ... if ONLY! This was an interesting read for me although I am not a teacher. Your article is well written and constructed, making it an easy read for both the reader who is not in the profession, as well those who are educators.
I enjoyed reading this. Language was visual and crisp. Although I have been to Utah, I've never seen the Great Salt Lake. Now I see it in my mind's eye. Thank you!
Best,
Marushka
This is a wonderful poem and I enjoyed reading it (three times to get the full depth). I especially loved the prologue. You probably have enough stored memories of White Wolf and your own family to write much more ... perhaps even a book of free-verse poetry, which, I think, would be very much like native storytelling. If you have not, you might want to read "There, There" by Tommy Orange, a citizen of the Cheyenne and Arapaho Tribes of Oklahoma. "There, There" - his first novel - was a Pulitzer finalist. Personally, I am looking forward to reading his new novel "Wandering Stars." Keep writing, Bear.
Best,
Marushka
Real stuff here and very relatable! Your theme is well developed throughout, and arrives at a sensible conclusion. Bearing the weight of animosity is, indeed, a chore that is fruitless and time-consuming.
Your piece is a sensible life lesson. I enjoyed reading it.
Thoughtful and well-written.
I suggest using paragraphs so that your piece would be easier to read and follow. Huge chunks of type with no breaks is not easy easy to read. I almost gave up at several points, but the subject matter interested me enough to keep going. That might not be the case for your wealth of potential readers.
Oh, if O N L Y! Enjoyed your well-expressed, scholarly writing, as well as your suggestion to vote out incumbents with regularity. I'm all for term limits myself.
Best,
Marushka
Oh, my ... your poem really spoke to me, as I lost my 'baby' brother the week before Christmas this past December. Although yours and my childhoods were different, taking siblings for granted is a shared experience for sure. Your poem is well expressed.
Just one little grammar thing: In the fourth stanza, the word 'to' is misused; it needs to be the word, "too," and the second word, 'too' needs to be to. (I can't help myself ... former editor here, lol)
Best,
Marushka
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Perhaps "two mind modes" is the answer.