*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/outercircle/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
Review Requests: OFF
314 Public Reviews Given
988 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 2 -3- 4 ... Next
51
51
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
One thing that I love about this report is that you take an old story, made new in recent years (Is Sherlock Holmes considered pop culture?) and apply it to the issue of cyber interaction vs real communication and social dynamics. I like that the interaction between the two students seems to be in character, and that the language feels elevated, but not in a way that would make it seem too high brow for others. The language seems to fit the dynamic. Also, I'm assuming you're a very smart writer. I think that you make good points about the new structure of our conversations, and how you apply it to politics. For me, it's a little harder to consider politics falling into the issues of the new social scene, regardless of age. I think that people in power probably look at a situation, and decide whether they should act more professionally in speaking and typing...of course politics is a circus, so that might not hold as well anymore.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
52
52
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
*Web1* Ash's Daily Horror Reviews*Web2*


         Hi Cody! You are receiving this review because I am looking for people who like to read and write horror fiction.

         Would you like your item to be featured on my blog? I like to share what I'm reading with others.
 Invalid Item 
This item number is not valid.
#1971184 by Not Available.


         I must say this is one of the most amusing horror stories I've read in a long time. I think a lot of people like their horror gorier, but in "Dancing in the Flames" your horror is more subtle. It is a feature of the plot, but the real issue is the relationship that is about to fall apart. I like that by the end, the couple seems to accept their fate, whether it is that they've fallen under the curse or they can't fix their marriage, or they have to find some other way to make the marriage last.

         Have you heard of "SCREAMS!!!"  [GC]? If you haven't, you should check it out. I prefer the 48 Hour contest that runs every Wednesday through Friday. It would be great to have some competition.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
53
53
Review of Togetherness  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the idea and the overall verse of your poem "Togetherness". With the first "And yet--" the poem feels like it flows out of "Together" but it doesn't seem as happy. I wonder if this is because I feel a little jarred by the repetition of "and yet", especially in the first stanza. I like the repetition, but it feels like there are so many in the opening it takes away from the message of that stanza and the effect that you are trying to create. The lines that are most powerful to me are the ones found before and between the longer stanzas.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
54
54
Review of Camping  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is probably one of your shorter poems so I don't have a lot to say about it, but I thought it was good. I think it's a little bit humorous as the narrator is trying to avoid the stress of the everyday reality, simply thinking about it or mentioning it, makes it real again.

I plan to go through Part 2 of Bottle in the River this month. I've been putting it off for a while.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
55
55
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This is an "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Raid Review to thank you for hosting a party event at WDC's 15th Birthday Bash! *Balloongo*

Normally, I don't start reading novels on writing.com unless I think I will be able to finish them. I like that this is a finished work and easy to navigate. I'm not sure if this romance novel is satirical, but I find it very humourous, and in keeping with my sense that you are a quirky writer--judging by some of the other items in your port.

I've only read the first chapter so far, and even if you intended this story as a satirical joke, you put a lot of work into it. I feel like you have already created an interesting character in Ollie. He kind of has that Hanna Montana vibe going on, though its more a personality shift than hair and clothes. I also like that you mention writing.com in your piece. I think a lot of people feel the same way about the site as Ollie does.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
56
56
Review of The Red Rocks  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
This is an "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Raid Review to thank you for hosting a party event at WDC's 15th Birthday Bash! *Balloongo*

I love when writers explain the type of poem they have written, but especially when the style is something I've never heard of before. I usually try to read the poem as it is first, and then read the description, to see how it affects the reading. The first time I read it, I wasn't sure about the repetition of red rocks. I got that it was significant, but that was about it. After reading the note about ghazal poetry, I read the poem more slowly/rhythmically which changed my mind about the repetition for the good. I also thought it was interesting about adding the name in the last stanza.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
57
57
Review by Ash
In affiliation with 30-Day Bloggers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is an "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Raid Review to thank you for hosting a party event at WDC's 15th Birthday Bash! *Balloongo*

As someone who has read and watched a few Mary Kate and Ashley (and Boxcar Children) stories in my youth, I found the idea of the girls opening a detective agency and a lemonade stand believable. (I think a lot of grown ups try to make kids out to be less ambitious than they are.) The dialogue for me was a little too "grown up" for eight year olds, but it wasn't bad. I think the little girl's dialogue would make sense if she was a little closer in age to the older girls. I like that there is such specificity in what kind of animals the girl likes to collect. I also really like the detail of the apple stealing story in the beginning.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
58
58
Review of The Stacks  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

This is an "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  Raid Review to thank you for hosting a party event at WDC's 15th Birthday Bash! *Balloongo*

I enjoyed reading "The Stacks". I personally find flash fiction hard to write because the word count is so limiting. I'm good at back story. I like back story. With flash fiction you have to establish the story very quickly. In "The Stacks" we get a brief idea of what the characters look like, but the emotional stakes are there. The relationship is fairly new, established by the fact that it is their first kiss, and she's worried she has been too forward. I think that you also do a good job of setting up the setting, or I have an easy time of picturing the quiet room in the stacks. (I work in a library.) I think my favorite part of the story is that the couple thinks they are alone, but the grad student at the end seems unsurprised to see them locking lips.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
59
59
Review of Entwined  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Entwined is an interesting poem. The beginning stanza makes me think that the entwined relationship is between the narrator and their religion, but this may just be wording. The other stanzas read like two people in a relationship, giving their partner their own sort of strength, love, and support. The physical interaction, a simple touch, makes the difference in the reading of the relationship.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
60
60
Review of Dream World  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Dream World is a poem that I think people can connect to on some level whether they want to admit it or not. Everyone has things that they want to be blind to, and some people manage to slip into a fantasy place where they can pretend the troubles can't get to them.

I think that the poem is well written, but I also would love to see more imagery/description--I would like to be able to see the rose hued fantasy world. On the other hand, the lack of additional imagery may have been done intentionally as the poem seems to be more about facing the real world, that cuts into the fantasy and makes you have to feel even when you'd rather not.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
61
61
for entry "Masquerade" 
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Masquerade is an awesome poem! I felt like I knew the narrator was going to show another mask after the first is taken off (it just makes sense), but the inner being behind the makeup and the mask blew me away.

The inner being is decaying quite imaginatively. There are things crawling inside of them as they fall apart. The unmasker seems not to notice however, and it makes you wonder how well they know each other, what kind of relationship they have or had. The person behind the mask feels like things are doomed to fail regardless.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
62
62
Review of Mom  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Mom is a great poem. I like that you start with a "snapshot" of the narrator's mother in the garden, after doing things that moms do. It was a sweet poem, but it didn't feel bogged down by sentiment. The narrator gives us entrance into this other world and we learn a lot by the end of the poem about how the mother feels about things, whether she actually likes lemonade or not, she makes it because presumably the narrator does and it is a memory associated with the mother. When the kids get in trouble for correcting a teacher they are rewarded rather than punished for speaking up (and paying attention-gasp!).

I like the note you added at the end about the way photography worked back then. My mom still has a box full of Walmart prints with bronze strips. I like the timelessness of the poem, the mom could be a mom at most any time, but the way you talk about photography places it in a more concrete time and place.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
63
63
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Wildflower Surprize is one of the best poems I've read on writing.com. I could picture the poem in my head like a movie--one where the sound is muted and is probably in black and white (except for the one pink flower left standing at the end). I really liked the lines about the silent carnival and the "freak show facade" of a crowd made up of "mirror images" escaping the fun house.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
64
64
Review of Road Trip!  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really love the use of metaphor and imagery in your poem! The metaphors "rivers of verbiage" and "collapsed bridges of expression" worked really well, I think because there are other elements of the nature you travel through throughout the piece. Also the reader already knows what restraints you are writing under. I think that you did a great job incorporating the prompt and theme in such a way that made it interesting. You have the scenery, but you also have all the emotion. People are tired and concussed by the end of the journey but they come away having learned something.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
65
65
Review of Flower Fields  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like the first few lines of Flower Fields, especially the style. You start with a one word line, then describe her as being as delicate as a flower, then go on to describe what she is doing. I like the overall idea of the poem, and I think that the one word line works in other instances too, but in some cases I think it would have worked even better if it didn't happen every other line. That's just my thought... an example I think, would be:

perhaps
or romantic movies (could have been a pause though)
...this may also stand out more to me because it is followed by another, bolder Perhaps.

Overall, I liked your poem. I can't wait to read more *ThumbsUpL**ThumbsUpR*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
66
66
Review of Half Moon Risin'  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Half Moon Risin' is a great poem! I like that you left comments on the format style that you were going for. It gives the reader a better idea of how to read it, especially if they have access to some kind of background music or can just picture it in their head. I like the imagery and the story of the poem a lot. Is there significance in the half moon phase for the chant?

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
67
67
Review of Only Then  
Review by Ash
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

Only Then is a great poem! I like that you have an image of your warrior. You don't spend a lot of time talking about the location or the character, as the narrator of the poem is telling about their journey through life. It wouldn't matter to the story whether it was a man or a woman, but thinking of the narrator as a lady warrior gives a different twist to the poem.

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
68
68
Review of Odd  
Review by Ash
Rated: E | (4.5)
I came across Odd via the Random Review Reward system. I thought that the imagery in this little outline of dreams was very strong, especially the image of Jerusalem being destroyed. While I have not seen Roger Moore's Bond character in action, I have seen Sean Connery, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig, the first two actors being my favorite so far. That being said, I like the reference, and I think that it is well written. :)

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
69
69
Review by Ash
Rated: E | (4.0)
Comfortable, Satisfied, Elegant, Reserved is a cool poem. I think that the opening stanza about the jury or 'jury' is really strong. I was a little confused by the middle stanza, but I liked the thought of the last line in it. I also liked 'you'll traverse the red carpet, too, before the day you die.'

Keep up the good work,

Ash


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
70
70
Review by Ash
Rated: E | (5.0)
The child of my Heart is a great story, even if it is really sad at the end. I love the vivid descriptions that you give because I can actually picture the scenes as if you had taken a photo of each moment and placed them in the story.

Keep up the good work,

Ash
71
71
Review of Sly  
Review by Ash
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Sly is a great story! I really enjoyed reading about Sly the slither's little adventure because you showed me and other readers a new world of possibilities, instead of just telling about them. I really loved the description of the vaults and blue flame.

Keep up the good work,

Ash
72
72
Review of Macabre Dance  
Review by Ash
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Macabre Dance is an interesting poem. I know what you mean when you say you're not sure where the idea came from. A lot of your poems are about strenght and love and all the good aspects of life with a little bit of challenge added to the mix. I think that this was maybe the darker side of your subconscious writing, which isn't a bad thing. I think that writers should be able to write about a variety of different themes because it keeps the reader interested.

Keep up the good work,

Ash
73
73
Review of Pause the World  
Review by Ash
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a great poem! I sometimes wish that there was a big pause button so that I could stop time...for a moment or two. If I could pause the world I would use that time to think of something witty to say or take a quick peak at the answer to my College Algebra test...sigh.

Life cannot be paused though because we have to live and deal with what happens. Just because we get older doesn't mean we have to grow up and not be able to hold on to the ones we love. My sixteen year old brother Mr. Tough guy still occasionally sits on my mother's lap... :)

Once again I enjoyed your poem,

Ash
74
74
Review of Lavender Blue  
Review by Ash
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi! I'm Ash. Your friend Dr. Taher won a port raid for two and they chose to share it with you!

I really enjoyed reading Lavender Blue. It made feel relaxed because the poem had a rhythmic quality to it. I can not wait to read more of your work. :)

Congratulations,

Ash
75
75
Review of A Simple Desire  
Review by Ash
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is an interesting story. I thought it was kind of funny at first and then I realized that it was more serious. I am glad that the little kid lived in the end, but it seemed so simple. I wish that pain and suffering could be stopped that easily.

Keep up the good work,

Ash
92 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 4 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/outercircle/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3