it is a good description of what a battle scene would look like with the combatants having opened fire on the troops. The result of a hit on a vehicle, and the death of the officer there.
The young soldier has to decide what he should do. The officer is not alive, he has his orders in his pocket. So, the soldier has to rummage around in his belongings to find the orders. you should have tried to describe the body a bit better. Have us see the body. The blood his entrails that are presently visible, this is something that the soldier would remember for quite a while afterwards. The blood and entrails spilling over his hands as he dug about with the body.
This well written. The woman has found the blanket she gave her friend, it is covered in mud and rust. The woman who gave the blanket to has vanished, the ruin of the blanket seems maybe sensible. The woman who has found the blanket puts it in the garbage.
She hears a scream in the house, while she is having a relaxing bubble bath. She rushed out of the bath tub. Runs to where the sound originated, finds some body covered in the dirty blanket.
She steels her nerves, and lifts the blanket from the body. She sees a blue eyes like her own the face is her own. You end it there. This is a spooky ending, it fits halloween atmosphere
This is unique. It sounds like the women here are on the top of the world. i agree in some ways we males need to listen to their mates. We should try and help them as best we can.
It is what the women's movement is for. you want to have us become what we see you to be. It will be a hard sell. I can see its merits. But we want to be able to have some fun too. Don't you think, this could be going to far.
I agree that we males have had the ball too long. You should be able to do things too. We should treat each other as equals. My form is not too masculine. I am not an ape. I do not have an abundance of muscles, but I have brians.
This very well designed. You have brought to our attention that in some cases. Somethings you pursue may not be worth their while.
If you desire something, if it does not look as good as you thought it would be. Test drive a car. Relationships you can't test drive. If you feel it is good, talk with the person you desire. See if he or she feels the same way. The only way to know is go out and explore the other person's mind and desires.
If you like a blonde, but you can not find one who pleases you. Have your girl dye her hair, somethings can not be so easily changed. You need to be the original you. Not someone else, but you.
The chapter is good. You have been able to allow us to understand his daughter's desire and the fact that she is blessed with the goddesses and demoness glyphs on her body tattooed there.
The church has sanctioned these to be there. She is not sure as to what to do to find out what they have been doing. The daughter wants to see Jon. Her lover, but if her father finds out what has happened with her seeing him.
Could be their very undoing. The way that you have brought this to our attention is well done. You have us in your very hands, your script is good. My friend keep it up.
This is very good. The queen is to learn magic, the wizard wants her dead so he can rule over the people in her stead, he has killed the king. He attempts to kill the pheonix. The phoenix will not have this happen to him.
The phoenix is saved, he is healed. The phoenix kills the wizard, and tells the queen of his desire to rule over kingdom himself, The queen rules over the kingdom for many years,
This is good. You have brought the king some need for order. He has assigned his clerics to create a crusade upon people who live in a desert realm. The priests know very little about this realm. They knew that the race that lives there has crabs that the queen desires to eat.
They are heathens, they have a belief that women can sleep with whoever they desire, and nothing is done about it. It is accepted. The church objects to this happening so,, they have sent the troops their to gain their land.
Change their religious beleifs. AS they have when they were marshalling troops in our world when they desired to gain things from the realms here in our world.
the descriptions were sound. You are able to convey to the reader an interest in the story. The reader will want to know what the knight is going to do with the bandits who
have attacked the farmer and his wife.
The knighhtis interested in creating justice, but does not concern himself with the events of the people who have harmed the farmer and his wife. He should have done something to protect the dignity of the peasants, he wants to get his just deserts to those who have harmed them.
He does not care about the events of those they have harmed. He feels no grief for the peasants in this event that has happened here. He wants to find those who have sanctioned this attack on them.
it was interesting. You have been able to allow the reader to learn about the lad who wants to fight. He says he is not afraid. This could be true, but I feel. He will learn to be afraid.
Combat is something, we do not understand what it is. It is to have enough strength to draw on one's own spirit, to be one with the creator. To live to be aware of the danger we face, when we enter into a battle.
The danger is that we must learn to rely upon one's self and other people as well. The lad is trying to find his path in this life. It is well done, well described.
You have a poem, that is well designed. You are able to convey to the reader the fact that she is Dracula's bride. you are able to allow the imagination of the reader to decide the facts that should be there for them to decide. It is impressive the work you have presented here.
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