This is good. You have lost your love. The way you have described her is good. She was your one and only love. Keep on remembering the dream that was yours. You loved this woman who has passed. You tell us that the woman was someone you could not believe, but she believed in you as you did in her.Trust your heart.
Sounds like you had some fun at the furneral. The problem with your mother has it been taken care of. How is your aunt doing is she okay. The description sounds a bit like my first marriage. One of our witnesses backed out on us, I forgot to buy a wedding band.
The judge and his assistance married us. I forgot that we had better have a house to move into or a room. My first wife decided we could go to her grandparents to sleep until we figured out.
The grand parents thought we were getting married the next morning. They were German, so they could not understand what we were saying,
My wife's father thought, it was fake. It had an offical seal of a judge on the document, what a mess. That was my first wife, Not the lady I am currently with.
This is good. You have a way with your words. She has to watch her back as the enemy lies in wait for her. They have shown themselves to her, in indisguise as they were wearing masks. The person she believes was wtaching her fight the other members of the Vipers, her suspicion is that he/she were watching her fight. Th determine what she amounts too.
She is concerned with them watching her and studying her. She wants to know who was responsible for the deathes of her parents. This is well written.
Evert good, you offer us hope and dream of beauty that the new year will bring to us. You have done a good job. Selling us tomorrow, but it will come. Believe in the dream of peace that is what is needed now.
Believe in the dreams that is before us. Rest dare child. Take each day as it comes. Grab the rope to hold you to your moorings. Sensual beauty that is upon us, may it always be with you. Dream of sweet things. May your day be only gumdrops and honey covered toast.
This is good, you have given us some knowledge of your daughter's fear of catepillars as they appear in your yard. She is a scared of them, you have told her that they become butterflies which she likes. You thought you cured her fear, until she saw another one of them. It will take time for her to realise that they are needed to become butterflies.
Hi,
Thd story is quite a puzzle\, you have gotten my interest in the srory. She saw her brother by the spring, but he did not speak to her Wouldn't he say something to her The woman has dreamt of her and her brother arguing amongst themselves. She could not revall what they were arguing about,
The tiger seems a friend of hers as it borught to her the neat it had gain from it. It set the food down, so she could eat it. She was thankful, but did not partake of it before cooking it.
Sounds like you don't approve. The stars can do no wrong, but we have seen them do it, But they claim that they weren't there, But you saw them, heard them. LIstened to their claims of innocents tehy claim to be. Who was there, but them. They claim the drugs made them do it, Did the drugs make them take it, Or was it them that did this, I think it was them. Don't you? I do too.
They are responsible, their money can buy anyone or anything, BUt they can not clean the slate of a body in the morgue, it is still there. Father death looks at you and points his forefinger at you. you know who you are? Don't you?
Hi,
this is graphic enough. You have me interested in the case you are working on. I like the details you have given me to read. You have been able to heighten my interest in your story. Good work, You have an interesting tale to tell.
Your work is worth the read. Keep at it. Your words carry us into your realm.
This is graphic, I like what I am reading. He has to find a way to have it go to a case for the police to investigate and act upon. I like the premise of this case, that they bave to look into.
the detective has quite a case to work with, The attorney has been hired to help the dective about the case. The story has a lot of merit for the reader to read, good work.
hi,
the mystery continues. AS we are drawn into it. She has to be careful, you have inyensified her fear She there walking aomngset the old forms of power that were there once upon at time.
She knows that she may have been drewn into a trap Her nerves were on end. She has to cautious of what she is doing here.
You have drawn me there. Good work.
The opening draws the reader in, we want to know more. There has to be more of a story to tell, we know your going to spill your guts, I have my phonebook in my hands, I swing it at your face. Your hands try to stop the book from arriving there. You find you can't lift your hands as they are tied to the armrests of the chair.
You feel the book arrive, you taste blood as it slips into your mouth, you story has promise, I will take a look at the case. That is before you. You have a good opening here. Keep at it. It will come.
This is hauntingly good. You have created the same sphere of a superhero as Batman. Your words describe the details of what she will become. Good work, now that she has come into life to avenge her parent's death. you have arrived at the emotion that the character who was batman and why he did this was to avenge the death of his parents, destroy the falsehoods that are there.
hi,
This story is extensive. You have given us more than enough information to read to understand your story. It is able to have us understand what is happening there. The humans are wanting to learn more about other space visitors. They have been able to walk into space to learn more about what they are to learn.
They have trespassed and are arrested for doing this. they are claiming that they did not do this. They are going to court to find out what they are doing right now. The barrister is very knowledge able about the judge sitting before them.
They have suggested that they have broken the law as the attorney for the government there has suggested that they done this,
this is remarkable. The way that you have been able to have us know these facts. The fear that she is feeling as she drinks this tea from the woman's provisions. The woman seems to feel that she should see what the mirror is able to show her what will happen in reverse.
The young lady is unsure of what she sees there, she is not comfortable seeing this. The woman reassures her, that this will aid her in what she seeks. The way that you have written this here is good. You have been able to allow us to see what she is seeing in the mirror.
You have been able to allow us to know these things. The story is good, you have been able to allow us to understand these things. Your words are good. You have been able to
cause us to understand these details.
This is speaking about someone who is tormented by his/her errors. The fear that he is feeling is massive. He wants it to end, the problem to go away. He knows he can not do this, he feels the weight of his misdeeds weighing on his soul. The way he is going about it is mournful.
He wants to die, To never have to see the results of his mistakes, or see the people he has affected. The way you have done this is well done. Have him try to understand what will happen once he has died.
It seems like his mother does not understand what has happened. What happened is that he was being beat up for speaking about who was attacking him. The school supports the behaviour of the bully.
He needs aid to defend himself from him, Learning the martial arts is good, His buddy is willing to allow him to learn to do these things. I was a small kid in school, I had learned to use my gloves to protect myself. After I defended myself from one kid the battles ended.
You want this to be a fantasy novel, so somehow he gains a power from somewhere, This is a good way to portray the need for protection for the student being attacked by the footnall player.
hi,
I found the chapter to be very good. The opening still needs more details. When we get to meet the KIng and see the room you have done a remarkable job of doing this. That is what I was talking about. Nut bring us more description to do this for the opening as well. We want to be there, with your character.
Your main character is of importance to your work. Have us be there. So, we can do this to see what they are experiencing with you. Your story holds promise. I found this to be very good. Thank you for writing this. To allow us to know more about your book and character you are writing about.
this was different. You are writing about a figure who protects a sleeping person in his/her dreams from an attacker from there. You are able to establish the fact that this being will protect you from your attacker. You are able to bring to us the belief that she will help you in torment of attack from the enemy
interesting open. You should describe in detail about your surroundings of your character. The details are needed to allow the reader to feel as though theu are emmersed in the room where the character is. Is the tempature humid. is the air moist, the color of her surroundings. These are details that may allow the reader to feel connected to the character.
This very well crafted. The way that the blacksmith's skills were redirected to allow him to learn from the mistakes he has made in his work. The things that puzzled him by the errors that he was recreating for him to do these things. He at first did not understand the mistakes that he was making there could be able to help him further is skill in developmental hardships.
The tale is able to draw us in to learn from his errors in his craftsmanship, these difficults have begun to plague his work. He could not understand as to what was happening to his work. He went to see the ocacle to see what she could tell him to do to make his accomplishments as they had been, Before this has begun to happen to him, his work was flawed by something he did not understand what was haooening to him.
This good, you have a way to have the reader to desire to learn from your work here. The details have been crafted by you it heightens the imagination of the reader to learn more about what you have said there. The person carrying the electrical charge has released it when the lights had fallen to darkness.
the two of them feel that they are being watched by something or one, when he has found the book describing how control the electricity by his mind, He is excited upon finding this, it could help him. Kael believes his friend is dead, thanks to charge he was carrying.
The surprise when the lights went out was good. His feeling that they are being watched by something or one knocking out the lights.
That's quite some poetry you have written here. Nightmares fill your mind as you try to sleep. The beings in these nightmares haunt your dreams. Fill your heart with horror. The dreams end when the sun rises into the sky. You awaken, thankful for the sun rise. You should relax and try to calm your dream like state. These nightmares can throuhghly frighten you.
you have nightmares, you should try and think about the things that are not so fearsome. The poem is able to carry us to what you have witnessed in your sleep. The monsters haunt your soul. Take the day as it comes.
That is beautiful. The story you have written is very well crafted, You are able to show with your words what the weaver is able to do with his weaving. He followed the child to where he is. After showing him the thread that he has woven for him to see what he made on his behalf.
The way you have been able to bring this to our attention. The way that you have written this is able to carry us into the realm where the weaver is and also the boy. The weaver has a remarkable skill to do the task before him.
Just tell us a bit more about the crowded streets in his village, when the boy goes missing, Tell us after he has been found, the mother and he are renighted together again. Good work
This is humorous. I found it to allow the readers to follow your lead. The way that you have been able to allow us to know the plight of the community that the main character is living in.
The way that you have been able to allow us to understand what they have been able to allow the main character to walk toward the water to find the daisies in the garden. He wants to hear what has happened today. You are able to allow us to laugh in delight to his words that he will say, when he encounters a earth worm in the garden,
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