This is a beautiful poem, you've brought to us an exquisite poem. You are able to share with us the delicacy of the words you have used to show what she feels toward this man whom she loves. Her yearning voice carries the reader to learn more about her love. You are able to allow us to experience what you wish for us to find there in her beautiful heart.
She is questioning what she sees in him, but knows she loves him. But she is unsure of what the love he has offers her. You are able to bring the reader to understand what they have been able to bring to each other,
That was beautiful. The duck wanted to be sure he was not to be glued to the tree. Your story is imaginitive, Yoy brought a smile to my lips good work there. You are a delight to read. This story was inventive writing, Keep at it, your story is very good. I found it to be able to cause one to be uplifted with your words.
it is dynamic. Your choice of words is good. You have been able to enlighten the reader to the poem you have been able to have us understand what you are feeling with your emotional signature on the poem you have done a remarkible job in writing this,
The character is a vampire, who had yeild a dagger to slay her friend
it is very well crafted, the canteur was saved by the man, whom it saved before. The lad was saved twice by him. The bandits tried to take advantage of the canteur being captured by the, The lad came to him when he had heard that they had captured the centaur. He fought with the bandits as the centaur broke loose from the chains that held him there. You have brought to us a fair poem. I thank you for writing this for us to read.
This is quite an ending in the story. I hope you still are here in this writing group. You were able to have us want to read more of your work, I found it to be of interest, you have drawn a good picture of what you have thought of nobles to be.
Your story is able to allow us to understand what the peasants were feeling toward the nobles behaviour. They believe that they have been able to allow the noble to do as he bid. The reaction that they have done as they wish. The peasant has told the prince what he knows they have done to him and his wife and children using their false lies to cause them to die, by the noble's men's hands/
What you have said is true. Relationships change as they are achieved by the things that both of then do toward each other and opposed to each other.The way that we, the human race behave defines what they have acquired to do this. The true friend knows what they have to become allies in life.
You trust the one you call as a friend. you believe that you are blessed by having this person there with you. The way that you have described it was good, It is true, we have to recognize what we wish to have with us. The pain we feel when we are without them is emmense.
I hope you are doing okay. Keep the faith that you will find someone you can truly trust,
You are able to draw us into your mind's thoughts. You are as we all are human. No man or woman is perfect, no one is without flaw. The details that you express as you go to those who care for you have taken you in their arms. They are able to try and sooth your pain that you are feeling.
You seek comfort in their arms as they offer their arms toward to you. They hold you in their embrace, their loving embrace tells you have been forgiven by their actions. We all have been children at one time, Your life seems to have not been a children to tha tasks they have been set before you.
The pressure of what your parents have been able to allow you to aid them, You have always been given tasks set before you. You are as we all are. HUMAN.
That was beautiful. The person you loved. That has left you, I suspect he.she has passed. your love with carry your heart to this person once again. She.he were always who you loved it is appearent in your poem. You must be strong, to live. Love is something we do for the people whom we have been with and who knows you,
As you do them, The love is harmonized by your very being, the dream that you have of them. You are loved by the actions that make you. You are blessed to have known this person who you are in love with.
Its interesting, the way that you have described the ore that you have diffinently found there. What the sceintests who have looking after it. You are able to have us be curious about what you have found there. You are able to bright us to know these details. The description that you have brought us know of what the scientests were working toward finding the end result of their findings are revealed about.
This is sound, you can feel his sorroe. What he is? What he has become? The tormentor of man, he hunts the beings that he is most like. He wrestles with his consuness to remain safe, not to allow the blood lust to over take him. His desire to be able to walk among men, he is feared by them.
He doesn't know what will become of him and his kindred, He is fearful of what they are doing or going to do.
Sounds like you have hit a writer's block. You have to struggle to write the words you have written, Your work must be realised for you to succeed in writing this.
Never give up. Continue on your writing here. You have realised what you must do. Write, Write, write. That's how you become a writer.
keep the faith. continue, you desire to have completed something to read. You want others to see what you have to say to them, You can not be silenced, if you are read.
it is beautiful, the way that they have brought the mention of human's arriving. They are coming toward the birds home,the birds are concerned with what they wish would happen. The humans are coming, the birds are concerned with what they are doing here. The description that the burds are afraid of what will happem. They know that they can not do anything to stop it from happening.
sounds like you are remembering a sweet time with your daughter. It seems like you love her, you want to remember her being so beautiful. The girl who stole you heart. I hope you and your wife are very happy with your daughter being there with you in your heat and spirit.
Love is all you can do, when they make a mistake, when they bump their knee or tear their clothing trying to do things. You know they will make mistakes as did you as a youth,
Man is going to make mistakes, that is why we are hear to learn. To make mistakes, to learn. We all have to learn.
You are doing a lot of soul searching. The questions that you have as some of which we all have had. You are asking questions, that should be asked, Are you willing to find the answer, That is the true question, The way that you described the emotions you are feeling and finding that your feeling them. You are feeling this way as you are human. As we all are. Be we caucasian, black, Oreintal, aboriginal, red headed, black haired, blonde, wilver haired, or bald. Male or female you know this as a fact.
you have been able to allow us to realize what you have experienced. Watching the death of your parents. It is a hardship that you have gone through. The way you are describing these details is good.
We see the emotional struggle that he is feeling. The way that you are able to allow us to know these details. You are a god fearing person. God has allowed this to happen.
This is able to convey what you are experiencing as you saw the hummingbird fly from flower to flower. You are happy, with what you see as the bird flies about. God probably felt that this is truly a blessing.
we are blessed with his belief in what he has created, his dreamm his reality. We are his children we of this planet are his. We have to remember to love each other here on this blue ball of a planet.
Remember we all are his. Put away the weapons of war. Dream of peace, sweet angel. Peace is what we need now.
The ending of that was cute. They were thinking they would have an abundance of wealth from what they had found there. They were excited, gleeful. They found a treasure chest. A treasure chest. No doubt from the buccaneer who died here. He was buried with a treasure that was enormous. They believed.
The amulet had been working. Hadn't it? The amulet would help them find great wealth. So, he had been told. He believed it was true. His relatives would not lie, he knew they wouldn't. He was blessed, he had the amulet. How could he go wrong?
this is interesting, you have us interested in the boy who is talking to his brother about getting a job, His brother hesitates because of what his brother has done in the past. You don't go into it, but the younger brother resents this. He tries to ask his brother to do this on his behalf. But he is afraid of what he can do. He could fail, If he did he would let down the confidence his brother has in him. So, he tells him, if he works as a public defender, and he will see. What he can do for him afterwards. But he has to be graded first.
Show that he can do this, And his big brother will talk to the others of his firm to get him in the law firm. He is allowing his brother to do this, to prove himself to the others of the firm.
You have been able to relate this fact to the reader. I have found the story to draw us in to the story. We see the young lad who has passed the bar. He is trying to weave the belief that he is worthy of his brother accepting him as he is. A lawyer. Hear him roar.
This good. I like the way you have described the daughter. Her actions toward the woman who desires her. What she does to the man who wants to rape her. The scene that you have created at the altar is good.
I can see a woman standing before the altar, her body has various glyphs of her deity on her. She wants to remain untouched. She attacks him. The man is a live, he leaves her there.
She goes to the nearest community, when she arrives she is accosted by a male before she enters the community.The man is with a group of other males, they take her to do as they will. She tells them who she is. She forces them to release her.
This story has a lot of merit. The spellcaster's love for her friend is very well understood. The mage she has slain to protect him is not truly dead. You are able to have us see these things in her behaviour.
She felt that the teacher would slay her friend. She could not allow that to happen. The way you brought this to our attention is good. We realize this as she saves him. The end result is that she is weakened upon doing this for him, she has to rest.
Maybe have us further understand what she has desired from him.
Could I ask you to check out my story, "We have to find a Dragon's egg? Chapter 1 and two
The soldier who has to guide the religious leader on this crusade. The soldier is aware of the king wants to happen. The leader does not know about what the trip will entail what the resources will be needed. The room needed for such items to carried across the water to the desert.
The king has prior knowledge about who he is sending there, the knowledge that they will need another military advisors to go there.
The people whom the leader is relying on for knowledge of what is there. They do not know what they are doing, how could they. They couldn't?
This is well crafted. You are able to have us see his desire, the thing that can't be. His dream that he should be out at sea. His boat is not sea worthy, it is leaking. He wishs to be free.
Like his surfing friend, he wants to ride the waves. Be free to allow only god and he to do this. His expression is that he should be there, his desire is that also. But he knows that there is nothing he can do.
Everything is against them. He only wants to be free. To allow the sea to claim his boat, and himself. God is the only one, who knows what will be. He wants to be free.
what a wonderful poem. You are thankful that the weekend has arrived. A time to put your feet up and relax. A time when your job has ended for the two days and the night where you can stay up and play. Go and dance the night away.
Take your girl out and allow yourselves to relax. Together in each others arms, cuddle and dream of the beautiful things you can do. kiss and snuggle up. allow romance to take a chance with you and your love.
love is what you can do. You can do that on other days as well, remember the love you have in your heart.
you have a lot of troubling thoughts there. The fear that you are feeling is true, you have to shake off the bonds that hold you there. Teathered there, you need to release yourself from the memories that are there. You have to forget the past. Realize that you are a live. A L I V E! That is something you should be happy about.
Look at the sun, feel its warmth. Look at the things you consider to be beautiful. If you were not there you would not see these things. You can not change the past. We don't have time machines do we? Well do we,'
I think not. Memories haunt each of us, we see our failures. Have we learned from those mistakes. I think we have. How can you change what has happened before. You can't can you.
Look at what lays before you each day. What can you do differently so you do not repeat yourself. You are aware of your mistakes. If you burn your hand you know you should not do this. So, you don't burn yourself.
each of us has loss in our lives, but if we realize we can not undo these things you will recognize that you are only partially responsible, what about the others there. Did you cause these things to happen.
Believe you are worthy in loving yourself. Love the people who are concerned with you and want to help you. Ask them what they see? When they look at you.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/rickyallen/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/4
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 1:01am on May 20, 2024 via server web2.
| (4.0)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
