Hello Writer - His_Angel_01 and welcome to Writing Dot Com.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Endless Wants
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What a sad poem, envoking all the emotions we feel for loss...
2. Strong Points: Your truth and depth...wonderful emotion expressed in your statements and questions.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: A Masterpiece
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What emotion you give in your short lines. It made me think of a child immediately.
2. Strong Points: Your intensity and strong message.
3. Points of Improvement: maybe work on overall flow to make it more poetic, just my opinion... I still you overall message is quite clear!
I wrote a poem entitled "The Simple Man" so your item grabbed my attention. I think this flow wells and is a nice tribute to someone. I like what you have written about another bringing joy to ones life without even trying. It reinforeces the idea that sometimes we find the most joy in the simple things!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Lonely Road
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: what emotion you give us in your story!
2. Strong Points: Realism and depth...
3. Points of Improvement: The caps makes it a little distracting. But overall, a nice read.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Christi
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: a sad story full of truth and realism
2. Strong Points: You are an excellent storyteller, you have nice speed and flow, it seems almost effortless for you. This is a gift, use it! I think this is wonderful and sets you above the norm, at least of the writer's that I see on here. You have a nice balance going on as well with the emotions and actions of your characters. This makes it very real, like you are not trying to hard to bring them to life.
3. Points of Improvement: loses just a little bit of momentum at the end, but nothing glaring. Perhaps it's because this is when it gets more complicated, when the truth comes out. I almost made this a 5.0 -- it's like right there on the edge, so close to being perfect. Thank you for sharing your talent!
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Powerful...
2. Strong Points: packed with emotion and intensity. simply awesome, I could feel the discust not only with society but with oneself. Some amazing words you have chosen to drive home your point.
3. Points of Improvement: nothing significant that stands out
It is my pleasure to review for your item: A Lover's Ramblings
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Ah, I'm a lovin your poem!! I'm a sucker for the romance. What a great piece you have written here! I like the title because it's contradicting -- your words are anything but "rambling" to the right person.
2. Strong Points: Beautiful words and description, I especially like the "lips as soft as velvet and sweet as the rarest wine". However, througout you keep the same intesity and flow going which makes it balanced and easy to follow.
Hello SH Hicks and welcome to writing dot com! I think you have a great idea going on here. You give us just enough without telling too much, and you leave way for mystery. Keep working with this and fine tune some of the thoughts. You have some nice description going on here. Thanks for sharing and keep wriiting!
Sincerely,
River Mckenna
It is my pleasure to review for your item: 'Tears'
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What a sad and moving piece, with great emotional depth to it.
2. Strong Points: You have reallly captured the anguish in this write, nicely done with your descriptives and emotion. I think this is beautifully written, portraying someone who is not holding back, but instead is letting it all out. There is such truth in your lines.
3. Points of Improvement: Some things that could help with the overall flow -- most of this is in present tense so change wording in some places to make it consistent througout. Also some spelling mistakes. I would suggest running this through spell check.
Hello Writer! Welcome to Writing Dot Com and congratulations on being picked as one of this weeks Simply Positive Reviewees.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Ummmm....
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What a dark and twisted story... I have to admit it was not entertaining for me because I don't normally read things like this. You get points for shocking your audience, good writers can do that!
2. Strong Points: Creativity and imagery. I like the ending--I suppose that it what anyone would do under the circumstances. I think it was funny that you had them buried side by side with matching tombstones.
3. Points of Improvement: Try making it all present tense or past tense instead of flipping back and forth, this can help the overall flow to be more smooth.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Masterpiece: Seasons of Love
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Great title!! What creativity and style there is in your piece, it's different from the average poem I see on here. I think this is a beautiful story!
2. Strong Points: Your imagery and description are very well done. You weave a lot of emotion throughout this, I like your use of seasons and it drives home the title very well.
3. Points of Improvement: one typo error in the last stanza, should read "Held in your 'hand'. I feel like the overall flow of this needs just a little work. But overall, a great read!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: The Party: A True Story
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: A cute story, starts off well with a definite setting. I like how you refered to being picked up by "kin" at the airport, this set it up well.
2. Strong Points: Your style and description especially in your verbs, you have chosen some nice action words.
3. Points of Improvement: Stories like this are hard to do. I could tell certain words were forced and you were reaching. With practice this will get better, I think you did a wonderful job still, especially for your first attempt. Good luck in the contest!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Fire In the Eyes
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: I think you have chosen a wonderful title for this! It is intriguing and draws the reader in.
2. Strong Points: You have a lot to say in your story. There is an adequate balance between emotion and energy in the danger of it all. Your last line is especially strong, about how you may never see this place called home again. This is a great appeal to emotion and empathy.
3. Points of Improvement: Nothing major, maybe work on some of the sentence structures, tightening them up. Also, in the future you can expound on this story, which is maybe what you plan on doing. Overall, a nice read!!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Kidnapped
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What a sad, but true and moving story, can happen to anyone. It reminds me of Jessica Lunsford from a few years ago.
2. Strong Points: your depth and truth. You offer such deepness in a rhyming piece. Nicely done. your ending just breaks my heart!
3. Points of Improvement: None. Although you can always revisit flow of rhythym...even the best writers to that.
Overall Rating: 4.5
Thanks for a wonderful read! Keep writing!
-River
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Hello Bri! I welcome you on behalf of the Simply Positive Group!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Two Kings
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What truth and depth you offer in your words of advice to our brother. It reminds me of a parable. I don't see to much of this style, in fact have not seen one yet like it on WDC.
2. Strong Points: I happen to like your bits of humor that you added in. To some readers that can be distracting, but I saw the humor in it and actually laughed out loud--not something I do much of while reading on here. I really like what you have to say at the end about how people don't like the choices they are given so they make life more complicated than it has to be. This is brilliant and makes one stop to think.
3. Points of Improvement: None. Keep up the good work!
Overall Rating: 5.0
Thanks for a wonderful read! Keep writing!
-River
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It is my pleasure to review for your item: Deception
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What depth and truth there are in your words on a troubled relationship.
2. Strong Points: The emotion in this really spoke to me. I saw a broken heart, accepting truth. Almost like a calm acceptance, though still suffering. Nice flow as well throughout...
3. Points of Improvement: the last stanza breaks the rhythym of the poem since it is only two lines. I would somehow try to make it four lines.
It is my pleasure to review for your item: Rahu's Game
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: What a creative idea and theme for a poem! It is nice that you explained Rahu's meaning at the very beginning, this made the read easy to understand and doesn't keep the writer guessing.
2. Strong Points: Originality and creativity... Your rhyme and rhythym are very natural and free flowing, does not sound forced. Overall, nicely done!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: The War Nobody Sees
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: Such passion in lines that are deep and meaningful.
2. Strong Points: Your emotional appeal, I like how you don't hold anything back. Also a very interesting title.
3. Points of Improvement: For writing purposes you may want to list this as Prose. It's a form of free verse like what you have done here.
Hello Danom8! And Welcome to Writing Dot Com on behalf of the Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers Group!
It is my pleasure to review for your item: You Bleed Me Dry
This is simply an expression of how your writing touched me individually. Please do not take my review personally as each person has a different and unique perspective on your work. The important thing is that you are writing and sharing your ideas! How wonderful to do just that!
1. Overall Impression: A wonderful emotionally charged poem on a troubling relationship
2. Strong Points: Depth and emotion, also a very captivating title. Your imagery is nicely done! I like how you don't hold anything back.
3. Points of Improvement: Work on overal flow and balance, although this is not a significant problem, but can make a good poem great.
Overall Rating: 4.5
Thanks for a wonderful read! Keep writing!
-River
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Hi Tim! This is simply brillant writing. And beautiful! Your words and rythym flow quite nicely together. This is the first time I have visited the shameless plug page to do reviews and I am wondering if this is where there really great writer's are. For what it is worth, I would not change anything about your poem. I think you have captured emotion and truth quite well in this. Although there may be some who beg to differ, please follow your heart and stop writing when you know it is complete...when the message is clear, and you have stated what you have wanted other's to see. Cheers! -River
Wow Mario!! Such emotional depth. The feelings in this just smoke off the page! I love your honesty and truth in this. This kind of writing paves the way for truly grand work. Thanks for sharing a good one! I look forward to seeing more from you and will make a note to view your port. Cheers! -River
Hello Shelly! I enjoyed your story very much. Sara was easy for me to identify with and understand. I think it has nice flow to it along with a nice speed. Too often I see writers getting caught up in the small details which can slow down the story and make the reader lose interest. To me, some stories call for drawn out description and detail and some don't. Yours is good. I can tell you are an advanced writer. I like your idea on keeping it short with less words as you stated at the beginning. This keeps is straight and to the point. Keep it up, and continue writing this one. I think you are on to something with it!
I enjoyed your poem Forever Friend. I am guessing this is about the sun. Of course it could be about many things, that only one interpretation.
Your words are short and sweet. Nice verses that are easily interpreted. Thanks for sharing another good one!
And please do keep them coming. Cheers... -River
The emotion and realism in this is electifying. Beautifully done, and beautifully stated with your words of expression. There is much description and truth to this. Thank you for sharing such a story. I enjoy your writing and didn't find any errors. Write on and keep sharing your thoughts. Welcome to writing dot com!
-River McKenna
Hello Xecuter and welcome to Writing Dot Come! Nice beginning... I like the pace. You have nice descprition. I have to say I did not expect the murder after reading
the first pharagraph. It starts off so peaceful and then BAM! Wow, nice surprise and contradiction to the opening pharagraph.
Keep writing and keep sharing on WDC! -River Mckenna
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Overall Impression: What a sad poem, envoking all the emotions we feel for loss...
Strong Points: Your truth and depth...wonderful emotion expressed in your statements and questions.
Points of Improvement: None..
Overall Rating: 4.5 