*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/roscoej/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/15
Review Requests: ON
804 Public Reviews Given
1,204 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 11 12 13 14 -15- ... Next
351
351
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about, "Vampire Chronicle-The Awakening." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I do like the idea that you have for this story, and you open it with a plane that has already crashed. That should spark the curiosity of the reader. But you then fail to tell all of the details. I feel that your story is too short and is lacking all of the parts that are extremely important for it.



Suggestions:


I think that you should make it longer and tell it in a manner that makes your reader be interest ed right from the start. There are too many unanswered questions in your story. As far as the grammar and punctuation are concerned, I won’t leave comment since these are my weak areas that I am working on. However, I will point out one that I saw. It is in the sentence, “There's no sight of any lifes around him accept the burning remains of the plane after the crash a few hours ago.” It’s better to say; there is no sign of any life. Life would be the correct word to use here. Also, maybe use the word [for] after accept would make it sound better..

Overall:
Needs work.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
352
352
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Darkness of the night." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:
This is a nice dark poem. Although as I was reading the first four lines I was a little unsure if I was going to like it or not. But after I got pass those lines, it seemed to get better. My favorite part is I speak not the truth…..and the next three lines after that.




Suggestions:

I would do a few things with this. The first thing that I would do is to split up these words into four line verses. That would give you six verses of four lines each. Then I would take another look at the entire piece and see where I can change some words to rhyme a little better. I think the pattern that you were going for here is the first two lines rhyming with each other and then the next two. Also, I would fix the first four lines, the ones that I had a bit of trouble with. I am confident that you can do this, and it will make it a much better poem



Overall:

A good dark poem that nees a bit more work

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
353
353
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"I found my strength." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I like the feelings that you are trying to put into this poem. I like when you wrote about being reminiscent of your life. Looking back on the past and seeing all the turns that it took you on is what I certainly can relate to.




Suggestions:

One of the areas that I had a problem with is; “Because its all made ME Instead of YOU and I.” I don’t think that is too clear to the reader. What you mean, is something that they will be asking, and that takes away from the experience of reading this piece. Also, I don’t see any use for the caps. On me and you in these lines. I feel they are not needed here. I would change this and work a bit more on this piece to make it much better.



Overall:

A nice poem but needs some more work.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
354
354
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"One Person Can Make A Difference." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

In a perfect world there wouldn’t be any of those terrible things that you have mentioned. But when was the world ever perfect? You would have to think back in time to the Garden of Eden. Before man’s fall there was a perfect world, but after that the world has become a place where there are many terrible things, and lots of greed and injustices. Man at his ultimate best is depraved and cannot possibly do good because he does not have the capacity to do so. His very being is corrupt. Can one person really, truly, make a difference? Maybe on a superficial level they can. By mans understanding there are good people and there are bad people. Many people will do good things, but that will not stop all of the evil and destruction that’s in the world. Evil vs. Good is a battle that was going on since before time began. You have picked an interesting topic to write about, and I suspect that you will get a lot of different views on the matter. You piece, although good, lacks more information worth of the topic. I feel that it is much too short to get into all of the materil about this subject,therefore incomplete.





Suggestions:

You have some interesting subject matter here, and I feel that you should expound some more on this. Get some more views and weigh them all against each other, so that you can present it a more complete way without being too complex.


Overall:
A interesting read, but only touches the surface about the topic.



Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
355
355
Review of The Encounter  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1467581 Unavailable **


Hi Koyel

Here are my thoughts about,"The Encounter." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

This poem goes along very well with the picture. I thought so even before knowing that the picture was your prompt. You wrote this well and have some good imagery with the words you choose. I particully like the lines;” As the moon wanes in the engulfing clouds and a pall of blackness enshrouds the sky.”
Good job on this one. I enjoyed reading it.





Suggestions:

none that I could think of.



Overall:


A very good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
356
356
Review of Slow Rush  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi Sam,

Here are my thoughts about Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You use some good imagery in this poem. I like the part you wrote,” …. Silhouetted against the background of smeared orange-pink clouds and shadowed mountains.” You paint a nice picture in this piece.



Suggestions:

I would revise your last line ....into the moon. To me it sounds as if the moon was in their (the seagull’s) way and they flew into it. I know what you are trying to say of course, but it just didn't look quite right to me.



Overall:

a good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
357
357
Review of crumby steps  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about," crumby steps Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:



What I liked about your story is how you connect what life has in front of you to a trail crumbs. The crumbs, although leading the path, are small, light, and can be easily blown away by the wind. They can also be eaten by birds or other animals too. The two friends, the chicken and the goat, knew that in order for the three of them to arrive at their destination safely, they couldn’t eat any of those crumbs that led the way. Just like in life, we are tempted by various things that if we partake in them, we will lose our way. We all have a path of crumbs marked out for us to follow, and we must keep our eyes on them and be vigilante, to reach our destination in life.
What I saw in your story is lots of grammar and punctuation errors. Also, you need to write with some more clarity. I had a bit of a hard time reading this. I would suggest that you take another look at the story, and make some changes in the re-write. Thanks for sharing your story with us.






Suggestions:

What I saw in your story is lots of grammar and punctuation errors. Also, you need to write with some more clarity. I had a bit of a hard time reading this. I would suggest that you take another look at the story, and make some changes in the re-write. Thanks for sharing your story with us.




Overall:

need work.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
358
358
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi Branson

Here are my thoughts about,"5 good interview tips." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I think that you wrote a very informative piece on how to handle yourself well in an interview. You supplied some good do's and don’ts, and what you said about preparation before hand, is a very wise thing to do. I find this to be informative and well written.



Suggestions:

You may also want to this add to this. Send the interviewer a letter/ thank you note. That would be a nice touch, and it would show your appreciation for being considered for the interview. This is just a thought.


Overall:

A very informative essay.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
359
359
Review of Bloodthirsty  
Review by Boston
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is a very good dark poem about a vampire. Your sybille count is perfect and it's constant throughout all eight lines. The rhyme is good too and your poem seems to have a nice rhythm to it. The only place that I see that you may want to consider revising, is your last line. Even though the Sybille count is correct, for some reason it doesn’t seem to flow as well with the rest of the piece. I have the same problem going on with my poem. Other than that it is fine. Good job, and lots of luck in the contest.
Best Wishes,

Boston Sig.
360
360
Review of Make-up is magic.  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi Sairah,

Here are my thoughts about,"Make-up is magic." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:



I must say that it was the title that drew me to this poem. From your title I thought that it would be a poem about a couple making up. Iguess that goes to show you a man’s view. I can see what you are trying to do here, and it is a pretty good idea for a light hearted poem. The use of makeup to try and correct all of the things that a woman feels is flawed on herself. I like your words, “natural and fake stunner.” I never have thought of putting it that way, but you are correct in making that observation.
However, I would like to have seen more rhyme, and a better rhythm to this poem.



Suggestions:

Go over this poem and see if you can find words or phrase that have more rhyme. Also, work more on its rhythm and flow.


Overall:

Needs some work.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
361
361
Review of It'll be okay  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"It'll be okay." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I like what you are saying in this poem. To offer last words to a love one, and letting those words be words of comfort and assurance is a nice sentiment. This is a nice premise for the poem. However, as I started to read it I thought that it would have had a nicer flow, and I was a little disappointed when it didn't. If you used a syllable count that is constant throughout the piece it would be much better, and it will flow along nicely. Also I found that your line, “Don’t worry, is oddly out of place. I was wondering if you intended the last two lines to be together. I don't know, but I thought I would mention that to you.



Suggestions:


You have good rhyme in this poem and I would take a look at changing a few things that would give the poem a nice even flow. You are nearly there in my opinion, it just needs some tweaking. I think that they would be pretty easy fixes to make, and when you do, you'll see how much the poem improves.





Overall:

a good poem that need a little more work.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
362
362
Review of Sadie's Big Date  
Review by Boston
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi Don,

Here are my thoughts about,"Sadie's Big date." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is a nice story done with humor. It brought to mind one of my blind dates I had years ago. The girl had hair like an exhumed corpse, and teeth like Indian corn. I ditched that one to say the least. You story was done well I thought. The dialogue was good and the story moved along nicely.

Suggestions:


The only thing that I didn't care for was the EEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOO's you but in. To me it was a bit much.


Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
363
363
Review of To Live  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about, "To Live." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This would be a good verse to etch on someone's tomb stone. Seriously though, it is a nice verse that speaks volumes. I like how you put ir; "Twisted tales of sorrow." Nice job!


Suggestions:

Consider making this piece into a much larger poem.



Overall:
A good read


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
364
364
Review of Evil  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi Amy

Here are my thoughts about,"Evil." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

From your title I expected it to be more of a dark piece, but that wasn’t necessarily my take on it after reading it. I like this poem, and it says a lot of things that can make one think. I particularly like the lines; "She will try to entice you and draw you in...... Sort of like a spider gets you caught in her web. I think that she can represent anything. It may be a person, thing, or maybe a desire or an addiction. Lots of different things, or temptations if you will, can lure you in by their deceitful beauty and charm.


Structure:

What is missing for me is the rhythm and flow in the poem. I would like to see more of that in this piece. Syllable count was off which was a contributor to that, and there needed to be a word added in different places to help the poem flow. I also had some trouble with "never expecting that I will win." That was an extra line, and it threw me off. I would try to keep the poem at four line stanzas.




Suggestions:

I would take another look at the poem and see where you can make some changes to make the poem flow easier while not comprising your main message. It is certainly worth the effort on this particular piece.



Overall:

A good poem that can use a little tweaking.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
365
365
Review of Untitled Poem 1  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Untitled Poem." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:


I like your poem, and my favorite lines are the first four. What I see here is a poem that can be a much better one with a little tweaking here and there. Some of your lines doesn't seem to flow well with the rest of the piece. Also, I see a few words that are probably not needed and would give the poem a nicer flow if they were not there.




Suggestions:

Take another look at this and try to make the changes that will allow the poem to have more rhythm and flow to it.



Overall:

A good poem that needs a little work.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
366
366
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Horses Simply Positive Challengers Review Sig


Hi

Here are my thoughts about, "Mt teacher of life." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

This is a nice work showing your feelings and thanks toward God. It is almost psalm like. I saw one thing that caught my attention; in line 2 of verse one you mentioned that one day you stumbled upon God. Theologically, and more importantly truth, is that He chose you. It is just something I caught, I’m sure it was written there to work in your piece. That brings me to another thing; I would classify this more as prose. I find that some of your wording should be changed while conveying the same meaning and feeling.


Suggestions:

I would re-read this and see where you can express the same thought a little differently.



Overall:

All in all a nice read.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
367
367
Review of Dancing Nowhere  
Review by Boston
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Horses Simply Positive Challengers Review Sig


Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Dancing Nowhere." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

This is a real special subject for me, and I have written a few poems about it myself. Alzheimer's hit close to home, my home, and I cannot help treating it like the enemy that it is. I especially like your last two lines of the first stanza. "A way to set them free"- we can only pray that someday they will find a way to set them free. This is a very moving poem for me, and brings back the memories. You have done a fine job in showing some of the horrors of Alzheimer's.



Suggestions:

none



Overall:

A very moving poem about the 2nd most feared illness next to cancer.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
368
368
Review of Why I Love Autumn  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Horses Simply Positive Challengers Review Sig


Hi Judy

Here are my thoughts about "Why I Love Autumn." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

This is a nice piece on autumn, and some of the reasons for loving it. I certainly do, in fact it is my favorite of all seasons. I lived in the mountains most of my life so you can imagine the spectacle of colorful foliage that I saw. Your descriptions and visuals were very good and it made me long for autumn again. I now live in south FL where there is only two seasons; wet and dry. At any rate, this is a very delightful piece.

Suggestions:


I can't really think of any except maybe that it is a bit too short. I wanted to stay in autumn a little longer.


Overall:

A very good read


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
369
369
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Horses Simply Positive Challengers Review Sig


Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"The Empty fish Tank." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

I like this poem and can relate to that empty fish tank because I had one. My favorite line in the poem is a guppy's ghost town tank. It always seems that after all the fish die the ghost town just stays waiting for a developer to come along and build something new in its place. This is a nice humorous piece that gave me a bit of a lift today.



Suggestions:

None that i can see.



Overall:

a very delightful light hearted poem. Very well done.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
370
370
Review of Going Down Deep.  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Horses Simply Positive Challengers Review Sig


Hi Christina

Here are my thoughts about,"Going Down Deep." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

This is a very interesting piece, and very profound too. In the first lines; “finding myself and then losing all over again,” it pretty much describes some of my experience of which I wrote about once. In short I went off to “find myself” and after I did find myself; I didn’t like who I found. I think that we all are different people at different times, and for different reasons; but in the end we are left only with our naked self. I could Pontificate on these things for hours but I’ll spare you my ramblings. I like this poem, and think that it has a lot of depth to it.


Structure:

Your use of caps in this was a bit distracting for me. I am not sure if you were trying to give a certain style to the poem by using them, but for me they really didn't add to the poem at all.



Suggestions:

As I have mentioned above.



Overall:

A nice thought provoking read. Gives you something to think about.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
371
371
Review of Lavender Blue  
Review by Boston
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
After reading "Damaged Goods," I thought that I would visit you port. You paint with words. Great job.

Best Wishes,
Boston
372
372
Review of He Touches  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.5)
Another great poem! Well done.
372 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 15 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/roscoej/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/15