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Review of Depression  
Review by Boston
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Depression." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:
This is a sad piece that you wrote about depression. You were able to capture some of the many different emotions that go with varying levels of depression. I did see a typo in the piece that i will bring to your attention. It is;"When he dies wiill anyone care?" You meant to write [will]




Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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277
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Thought Once, He was the Love of my Life." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:
This is sort of like a compare/comparison piece. You once thought that this person was special and fitting into your perfect ideal, but now you find he has either changed, or maybe even "never truly was" the person you thought him to be. There is the then and there is the now.



Structure:


At first while reading your first stanza I wasn't all that impressed, but I continued on. Then, in my opinion, the poem improved a great deal.


Suggestions:

I would re-work the first stanza, and instead of using the numeral 2, I would change it to [two years] All in all I think you've done a fine job.



Overall:

a good poem that can use some more work.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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278
Review of Quicken  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Quicken." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:



Before getting to my opinion about your poem, I must admit that when I first saw the title, I thought that it was going to be an article on Quicken software, but I digress. You have some wonderful imagery in this poem. I could imagine seeing and hearing the fire burning, while feeling its warmth. You had done a fine job expressing the emotions of two lovers on a winter’s night.


Overall:

A pleasant read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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279
Review of A Fiery Soul  
Review by Boston
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"A fiery Soul." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:


Love and hate two strong passions which sometimes are not too far apart. I like your line;” The embers of the heart.” It has a music lyrical flow to them, and they were well chosen for this piece. You bring out a lot of emotions in this poem. I think you’re ending last two lines, summarizes it all.


Suggestions:

None that I can think of.



Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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280
Review of Puppy Love  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Puppy Love." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You wrote a very nice poem about puppy love. My favorite is the third verse. I can imagine someone waiting by the phone,and hoping for it to ring, so they can hear the person's voice of whom they love. You used some nice imagery in this piece.



Structure:

Your rhyme is good and the rhythm and flow of the poem moved along nicely. I personally liked the fact that you used all upper case because, for me having visual difficulties, it made it much easier to read. However, it will be interesting for you to see what others will comment about this.


Suggestions:


None that I can think of.


Overall:

A very good poem

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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281
Review by Boston
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Lament of the Wolf." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Your imagery in this sad piece is great. The reader can visualize the wolf’s surroundings, and they can feel the Wolf’s pain as he sings out his cries of loss. He is alone now, but must go on. You did a great job on this.




Suggestions:

I can't think of any.



Overall:

A good read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
282
282
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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Hi

Here are my thoughts about,Fear Gives men Wings:Prologue." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is a good prologue to which seems to going to be a good story. You kept up the suspense and it moved along nicely with a good flow. I liked the part where Gebbins wife/mistress, racked the shotgun. That sound is unmistakable, even to those who know nothing about guns. You kept your reader interested and wanting more. Good job!



Suggestions:


Space your paragraphs differently. I think it would make it easier to read.


Overall:

A very exciting read.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
283
283
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"A Special Kind Of Love." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

This is a real nice love poem, and conveys nicely the feelings of two lovers. I especially liked the last two lines of the first verse. They remind me of my wife and I who will be celebrating out 30th this month. I found no errors in this piece, and it flowed beautifully. Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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284
Review by Boston
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Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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Hi welcome to WDC

Here are my thoughts about,"death at a writers tip." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

Your story is good one in regards to your ideas. I especially liked the part where Josie strangles Karen with a wire hanger.
What need to be worked on is your grammar, and punctuation. Also some of your sentences should be re-worded for clarity. Aside from that you need to give more information in your story. For example why did Josie kill Karen, why didn’t she want to have Karen call the police? The characters need to be built upon more. What was their relationship with each other? Why did Josie betray Karen? Giving details like these are important, and will make your story a good one. You have no ending or closing either. It is fine to leave the reader hanging; it is done many times in books and movies, but you just ended this to abruptly.




Suggestions:

I would consider all of the suggestions and advice that I, and other reviewers mention. Weigh them all, and uses the ones that you think are of valuable to you. The more we write, correct, and re-write again, the better we become as writers. This is how we learn. I hope that I have been of some help to you.



Overall:

Need work.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
285
285
Review of into the unknown  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"into the unknown." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:


I like this piece for a few reasons, but I will mainly comment on one of them. Right now I am working on a story that has a similar theme, so of course I think your premise here is a good one. I especially like the 2nd paragraph, and the way it is written. The fantasy world and the dream world are interesting aspects of consciousness. I remember reading Julian Jaynes “The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind,” many years ago. Although I don’t agree with Jaynes, I found his book interesting none the less. And any rate, he alluded to the same types of things about consciousness in both the dream world; or as you wrote,” fantasy world. All in all I think that you wrote an interesting piece that brings up a lot of questions on so many different levels. Good job!


Structure:

I did find some puncutation errors throughout, but that is an easy fix.


Suggestions:

Just those mentioned.



Overall:

Very interesting.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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286
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi Welcome to WDC

Here are my thoughts about,"Where is the time? Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I think you have a pretty good premise for this poem and I liked your first two lines and thought they had good rhyme and flow.


Structure:

I did see areas that need some improvement. Although I like your first two lines I feel that if you started the first line with [when] and the 2nd line, with [and] it would make it sound a little better. And you wrote;"When the owl hoot" I think that [hoots]or [owls hoot] would sound better. I would also re-format your poem into two verses of four lines each; this will make it easier to read, and give it a nice appearance.

Suggestions:

I would take another look at this poem and see what areas can use some improvement. as i said, I think that you have a good idea for this poem, and are already off to a good start.



Overall:

Nees some work.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
287
287
Review of The Breeze  
Review by Boston
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

This is a nice romantic piece that uses some good imagery. I especially liked the last verse with your rhyming of the lines two and four. I also like your words,”…. heard the rustle of leaves shedding off a tree.” That was very nicely put.



Structure:

I did find a few areas that I thought needed work. The line;” The breeze I [breathed]” I feel that breath would be a better word. Also in that same verse I had some trouble with;” Brought the scent same” I feel this should be re-worded for clarity.


Suggestions:

I would take another look at this and see where you can make the changes.



Overall:

A good piece, but nees a little work.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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Review of emotional war  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,:emotional war." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:
You wrote a poem that shows a lot of emotions. Just as your title reads; it is an emotional war. You have a good concept here. You can sympathize with the girl, and feel anger towards the mother. The problem is not with the girl's appearance or weight issues,although she finds it to be a problem, rather the problem is with her mother. The true message in this piece revolves about the mother's cruelty, and insensitivity. It teaches us how the wrong behaviors affect others. It shows us how not to be a good parent.




Suggestions:


I found some errors in this poem. They are mainly with the spelling and grammar. For instance; "they all know that [its] [should be it’s] not her [fought] I think you meant to say fault. You don't use proper punctuation, and your sentences seem to run on and lack clarity in some areas. I would go over this again and make the corrections. You already have a fine start. The ground work is done, you just need to tidy it up.


Overall:

Needs some work

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
289
289
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Hi

Here are my thoughts about,aren't They Dizzy By Now? Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You wrote an interesting piece here. It is well written and you made your points known with clarity. I feel much tha same way in some of the things you said. True; often times when someone famous dies it make the news. That’s a given, and that good news reporting. When someone with the fame and contraversory like Michael Jackson dies, there is even a bigger deal made about it. It was like when Elvis died. There was so much hoopla that we were knee deep in it. However, I must point out that there are times when somebody famous dies, and they do not get the attention deserving of their talent. One example is Miles Davis. I remember reading a small article in the newspaper about his death, which was not even a column long. It got lost among all of the other news events. I won’t bore you about Miles talent or contribution to jazz. I think that MJ death was way over done by the media. Don’t get me wrong, he was indeed a very multi talented man deserving of recognition, but the media made this another Elvis syndrome, over done way too much. Like Elvis, MJ and his corporations, close contacts, and family will eventually make more money off of his death, than if he were alive. It is just human nature, and as you said, greed. He was nothing more than an ATM to some. His “friends” were with him because of his dollars. That is the way life is; even on a much smaller scale. As far as the images that he left behind, I am not too sure if all of those are good.
Is it good to do all of the good things for the wrong reasons, or the wrong things for a right reason? We must judge that. Doing drugs, prescription drugs, is not a good image to set for young people who admire his talents and want to emulate him. They need a good role model. At any rate, I will close by again saying that this essay is very good and I enjoyed reading it.



Overall:

An interesting piece.

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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Review of To age  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi Millie,

Here are my thoughts about,"To Age." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

I just couldn't resist reading your poem after seeing the title. I most certainly can relate to this piece since I myself, am aging. Although your poem is short, it speaks much volumes. You have done a good job.



Suggestions:


None that I can think of


Overall:

A very good read

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
291
291
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Welcome back to WDC. I believe that some of the most important things are you health and family, so your choice for leaving was a wise one. Health comes first, and I’m glad to hear that those changes brought better health for you. With that said, I want to extend my best wishes and, hope that you enjoy your return to the community. I look forward to reading, and reviewing your work. I feel that we can all learn from one another, and become better writers in the process.
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Review of Loves Bane  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Loves Bane." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:

You wrote a good poem of love ending, and brought out the feelings and emotions in this piece very well. I especially liked your lines:

but this charade has lasted too long
now you must tell me how you feel
because deep inside i'll always know
your feelings never were real




Suggestions:


I noticed a few things that I would take a look at. First, I think this poem would be better if you broke it up into four line stanzas. You can also give the poem a better flow by re-arranging some of the words around differently. In the line; "your intentions were good you only meant well" that sort of interrupted the flow of the poem for me. I feel this line could be worked on a bit. What you are saying here is real good, but it just needs to be arranged differently, I think. Finally, I would capitalize the [i's] you wrote them all in small case.


Overall:
A good poem.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
293
293
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1467581 Unavailable **


Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Visiting Santa at the Mall." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

A nice little piece with a good ending. I liked the part about Santa having a tatoo. All sorts of images came to my mind, and just on that fact alone you can take off in different directions. Nice job! Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.{/




Overall:

a fun read.
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Review of Thoughts on life  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
** Image ID #1467581 Unavailable **


Hi

Here are my thoughts about, "Thoughts on life." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

I think that there is a line between working hard to achieve your dreams, and trying to become someone you are not, when that possibility is impossible. To quote Eastwood in one of his movies; ”a man got to know his limitations.” This is an interesting and thought provoking piece. Thanks for sharing this with us and, and keep writing.




Overall:

A good interesting read
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295
Review of Silent Seduction  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
** Image ID #1467581 Unavailable **


Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Silent Seduction." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

This is a hot and steamy little poem. I sure that this was your intent, and it was done very well. You have really captured the emotions of two lovers in abeautiful way. Good job!



Suggestions:

None...



Overall:

A very good read.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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296
Review of Music of Love  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
** Image ID #1467581 Unavailable **


Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Music of Love." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

Being a musician, I just had to read this poem with a title like that. I wasn't disappointed. You have done a fine job with this romantic piece, and the imagery was great. A very good choice of words was used. I like how you have interwoven love (romance) and music; by using the musical terms like tempo, rhythm, crescendo, beating, and tune.




Suggestions:

I don't have any, it is great the way it is.



Overall:

a very good poem with strong emotion.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
297
297
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (3.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"A Biography of Jessie Russow." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.



You have a good biography going on here, but what I am seeing seems to be short little excerpts spanning over long periods of time. For instance, when you wrote about Jessie being diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, in 1970; you only used three sentences in all to tell all about this. There is certainly much more to write about on just this one particular event alone. I think that you need to give more detailed information on what is going on in this person’s life, and also incorporate her emotions and feelings into it. If you do this, I think that this piece will be much better. Thanks for sharing this with us, and keep writing.
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Review of Crossroad  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi Sandy

Here are my thoughts about,"Crossroad." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:
This is a good piece and profound too. I like it. The light swallows up the darkness, and it lights our way, guiding us which way to go. All we have to do is walk in the light. Christ said that He is the light, the way. Faith in Him will never lead you wrong. Nice job!





Suggestions:


I would add to this showing that the drug users, drunks, derelicts; the children of the night can experience freedom too, if they will walk in the light.


Overall:
A good read.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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Review of My Life  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A Simply Positive Group Sig For Reviewers.



Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"My Life." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.

Content:


This is a very emotional and moving piece. You told well about the feelings of impending death. It a sense everyone, healthy or not, faces death daily. One never knows when, where, or how they will die; and death doesn't check with ones day planner to see if it is a convenient time for them. I believe that we should cherish our time here on earth, but sometimes it takes growing older or being closer to the inevitable to realize this. A strong faith in God and having the assurance that He awaits on the other side with open arms, is a comforting thought. I think that it is a natural thing for everyone to be afraid of death to some degree. It is an instinct that is in born in us; an instinct of survival. I read somewhere once where death is the ultimate fear. Fear of all things can be summed up in death but faith in God can conquer all fears.


Suggestions:

I found that some of your words could be re-arranged to give the poem a better constant rhythm. For example in verse four:


My attacks grow stronger everyday,

Each one taking my breath away,

So I live each day as it is my last,

Soon all my pain and hardships will be in the past,



Maybe this would be a little better;
My attacks grow stronger everyday
Each one taking my breath away
I'm living each day as it's my last
Soon my pain and hardships will pass





Overall:

A moving poem and a good read. Very nicely done!

Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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Review of Between Friends  
Review by Boston
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
** Image ID #1467581 Unavailable **


Hi

Here are my thoughts about,"Between Friends." Please remember that these are only my opinions, and they are respectfully given to you. You may do with them as you wish.




Content:

This is a nice heartwarming story about two friends separated by time and distance. Strong friendships can stand both of these tests. I myself, have some good friend’s that are miles away from me. It is really a joy when I do get to see them, although that is a rare occasion. Thanks to the internet we still stay in contact. This is a good story. I enjoyed reading it.


Thanks for sharing, and keep writing.
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