I think this is a nice idea.
And you have this written out very well and made easy to understand.
I think it is great that you are wanting to help the members to get published but the only problem I see with this is the fact that you say there will be a title and everyone will write a story with the title.
If there are several of you writing about the same thing I would think that would make it hard to get published.
What a wonderful story.
It was suspensful and very interesting.
I was very impressed with your use of imagery.
I think you did a wonderful job of writing this. I like the point of view and the dialogue.
I think you did a very good job.
I think you began the story in a great place and I think it ended very well.
I would have liked to know how the girl was doing on those next couple of days since she was injured.
This would be a good time for those people to have some kind of radio to call someone for help.
"dwarfing the surrounding woods by comparison."-
I really liked this line
In paragragh seven, this line- "After the dry spell we had been in that could only mean trouble." I think there should be a comma between"in" and "that"
The eleventh paragragh has some great imagery. I love this paragragh. I think you did a wonderful job here.
paragragh fourteen is another great example of very nice imagery.
This is an interesting story. I was surprised, I was not expecting it to be a cat in the beginning.
lol You say it has a surprise ending but I found a surprise beginning .
I think you have some good imagery in here. I could see everything as I was reading.
I feel like this story was rushed. I would have liked to get to know the characters a little bit better. I think this is just the beginning of a good story.
Oh my goodness. What a sad story. When it first started I thought 'what a grouch bug' but as I read more I found it was more than that.
You did a great job writing this.
I like the way you began in the story in the heat of the action.
Again you have great dialogue. You are very good at that.
You have very good imagery here.
I loved the way you ended it. Very interesting and symbolic.
I appreciate that you provided the links at the end.
I really think this is good and deserves an awardicon.
What a great fire red introduction to this folder.
It suits what the folder is about very well.
I think it adds interests and makes the reader want to look in and see what it is about.
What a beautiful ending. That is a great way to end this story.
I think you did a good job writing this.
I like how you intoduced the character and gave a background.
This is my favorite line- "“Because I’ll never deny my Savior,..."
I like how in the third paragragh you give some details about the faith. And clear up some misconceptions.
In this line at the end of the third paragragh- "It made her sad sometimes to think of what her grandfather would thought,..."
I think there either should be the word "have" before "thought" or change the word "thought" to "think" for this to make better sense.
I thought this was a nice story and you told it well and especially ended it well.
This is a very good story. I like the way you began.
I think you told it well.
On the part where he has the flashback, I think to set it apart from the rest of the story it would be better to italicise it.
I also think it would enhance the story to add one or two more flashbacks in there somewhere in between waiting. Just to get to know the characters better.
The ending was good but I think the story would be great if it were a little longer.
"Lying across to chairs she looked uncomfortable"- "to" needs to be "two" in this sentence
"but two be hadn’t shown up for work."- this sentence doesn't make sense.
"The doctor smiled and the worried father"- In this one I think "and" maybe should be "at".
I like this story. Very nice.
I love the title too. I can see why you chose it when reading the story.
I think you did a good job with the imagery and telling the beginning of the story.
The second to last paragragh seems to be missing something. It seems like there could be more added to the story there.
I like the last paragragh, it ties the story together well.
I think what you have here is great. You began the story very well and held my interest through the whole thing.
I also think you ended the story well but it seems like the story could be longer. Like maybe there is something missing.
You have great wording and I really think you have done a wonderful job with what is here.
The title is a little ackward to me.
This is a very sweet story and has a great message.
I think you did a good job writing this.
I don't understand this phrase: "that I should take dear old doggie’s job."
I feel like this line:
"While doing my room" needs more explanation. Doing what to the room. I'm assuming cleaning but I think it would do more justice if you explained better.
I like the dialogue you used in this story. I can tell it was from your thoughts and the way you speak.
I thought what I could get out of this story was very interesting. I like the idea of the story and you have some great imagery in here.
The story leaves a lot of confusion for me though. I kind of get the idea of what is going on but there are some things that left me wondering.
For instance what was wrong with the little girl. Was she sick? You mention the "state" she is in but what 'state' is that?
and did the little girl die or was she in like a coma or something?
I like how you began the story with a poem/prose.
I think the beginning of the story started in an odd place though. You start out with how "she" feels but who is she? I feel like it would be better to introduce the character. (at least the main character )
I really think this could be a great story and I did find it interesting. I just think it needs some work.
I think this is a very interesting, challenging and unique contest.
Nice title for the contest as well.
You have everything spelled out very nicely and the format is great.
The only thing I would change is in the second sentence, I would take the first word "So" out because it makes it sound too casual to me.
You have wonderful prizes and the pics are very interesting too.
What a wonderful job you have done here!
You have written this story very well.
I love the content. It has suspense. And you have done a great job with the imagery in this story.
It began in a great place and the ending was good
I also like the way you did the flashbacks to let the reader know what is going on.
I thought this was very good. It held my interest througout the whole story. I couldn't wait to see what would happen next.
I think you did a great job writing this and I think you chose your dialogue very well too.
I was a little disappointed in the end. I wonder how the witch knew exactly what time the girl would be there and why her father would send her there. It just did make sense in that area of the story.
This is a great article. You have written the letters well.
I like that you did research.
I appreciate that you brought this issue to light for those who would otherwise have no idea.
I like how you explain your beliefs and intentions.
You have outlined this very well.
Great Job writing this.
You have one or two typos in here though.
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