*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shadow777/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2
Review Requests: OFF
323 Public Reviews Given
1,362 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
Previous ... 1 -2- 3 4 5 6 ... Next
26
26
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
lol. I found this interesting. I learned some new things about the way different parts of the US speak. I also learned a new word. I had never heard of the word colloquialisms, I looked it up and now I know. *Smile*

Thank you for this interesing and fun read *Smile*

please this out "Invalid Item" 
27
27
Review of The Duke  
Review by Shadow
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is very interesting and I think you did a good job writing it.

I like how the second and third stanzas echo each other in the last couple of lines.

The fourth line is some good imagery. almost too good lol.

I love the last stanza. *Smile*

The first two sentences in the second stanza I think could be better if it were worded a little different.
Maybe something like, I breakaway, escaping...

I think you did a really nice job with this poem *Smile*
28
28
Review of The Twirling Ends  
Review by Shadow
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
Oh my. How sad.
This has the potential to be very good.

The first four stanza could really using some feeling instead of just telling what is happening. I think it would be better if you made the reader feel it better.

I liked the fifth stanza. I thought you did a good job with that one.

the rest is more like the first few stanzas.

I like the ending. I like how you dramatically end it and how you pause in the sentence to add emphasis.

When I read the title I didn't know what to expect and it intriqued me *Smile*
29
29
Review of Visiting Blues  
Review by Shadow
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
ahh how sweet mixed with some sadness lol.
I like this story and you told it very well.

You wrote the story in a way that I think made me feel how you may have felt when it happened. (if it is true) I think that tells that it is a good story when the reader can feel the character.

The ending was great. Just sad they came late but I guess better late than never *Smile*
30
30
Review by Shadow
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
I think this is a great story.

The story seems unfinished though. I don't mean that there might need to be more added to the story at the end but It seems rushed through. You told the whole story but maybe if you went into more detail in different areas I think it would make the story better.

I like the title. I was interesting and made me wonder what the story could be about.

The story is very nice I just think it needs some polishing to make it great. *Smile*
31
31
Review of Dancing Nowhere  
Review by Shadow
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This is written well. The flow and rythmn are great.
I think if it had maybe one more stanza it would be even better. *Smile*

Sometimes I think I am getting alzheimer's the way I forget things. I know this is really hard on both the one who has it and the loved ones around them.

I love the title.
32
32
Review of The WDC Review  
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is very good. I like the imagery you have here.
I like the idea and the perspective you have this in.
I found this very interesting.
You did very well with your words througout this poem.
The last line was a great way to end it.

Great Job!! *Smile*
33
33
Review of Silence  
Review by Shadow
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
oh my lol.
I think this is good. I like how you told good story in such a short time. The only thing it left me wondering is what happened to his wife.

Very nice imagery.

This line even made me scrunch my face lol:
"...bitter taste of bile on my tongue."
34
34
Review by Shadow
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I thought this was very interesting.
You have some nice imagery here.

In the second stanza, last line.
I think "its" needs an apostrophe 'it's'

In the fourth stanza,
I think "thru" might be better if it were 'through'.

I like the title, it's intriguing *Smile*
35
35
Review of Memories of you  
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (3.5)
I thought this was heartfelt.
I think it is pretty good.
I don't think it lives up to the title though. I mean I expected more memories of the person but it is more about how you are feeling, which is fine but I think maybe it might need a different title.

I like the last stanza.

This would be great if it had a little more imagery. *Smile*
36
36
Review of Tea For One  
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really like the title of this story. It is interesting and unique.

I think you did a good job telling this story. It has emotion which I like when reading especially with a topic like this.

I think you did a good job with the wording in this story. And the dialogue is good.

In the description-
"This is about the homeless person I meet"
I think meet should be met.

I thought you ended this well.

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
37
37
Review of Ramadan 2011  
Review by Shadow
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I think you wrote this very well.
You made it very clear what Ramadan is and what it consist of.

I think you presented this information very well also.
It was easy to read and follow along.

I like how you put the reference to the verses.

I don't understand how you can fast from drink because you can't go more than three days without water. Unless I am misunderstanding something.

I think you did a good job with this. *Smile*

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
38
38
Review of Lilacs  
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (4.0)
This is a sweet poem.

I'm not sure about the rythmn. In some parts it seems like you are wanting a rhyming scheme and in others it seems you are going for a free verse type.

I think the content is good.

I think this would be great if it had some more imagery. *Smile*

"reviewer's club"
39
39
Review by Shadow
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I think you did a great job with this story.
It has a lot of emotion and I almost started to cry. Very sad.

I think what you have here is great. I didn't see any mistakes or something that I would change.

I think to make it an even better story maybe you could tell more about before Natalie got sick and how and when she and her family found out about it.
Maybe what kind of cancer she has. Just some more details.

I think you ended the story very well.
40
40
Review of One Too Many  
Review by Shadow
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I'm assuming this is going back and forth from what happened at the party and what is happening in the present.

If so, to distinguish the two you might italize one of them. Maybe what happened during the party.

I think this is good. The story is good and interesting. The dialogue that you have is good.

In this line-
" Kathy leant her head on the window." I believe "leant" should be "leaned". I could be wrong but I have never seen that word before.

I'm wondering what happened in the end. Did she die or just pass out?

This is a pretty good story. I think it needs a little work especially with going back and forth with the story. *Smile*
41
41
Review of Going Places  
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (4.0)
I thought this was cute.
Nice job with the rythmn.
I think you did a nice job with the wording to make it the point of view a child.

I wonder if it would look better if it weren't all centered. Hard to tell.

I would either bold the title or italise it though. *Smile*

Good title.
42
42
Review of Honey Dipped Pain  
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (4.5)
First I love this title. I think it is unique and creative. *Smile*

I think you have done a good job with this poem.
At first I was a little confused reading it, I was trying to figure out what you were talking about.

It sounds like the other person died but in the end I can't tell that that was the case. It doesn't really matter.

I like this style. I thought this was interesting and intriquing. I like the questions.

I think you did a very nice job here *Smile*
43
43
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is great!
Kim has done a wonderful job writing this article.
It is very informative. Filled with great tips.
It has some very good examples.

This is a great article for writers to read.

I learned a few things reading this, things that I would never have thought of.

I appreciate that she shared this article.

Great Job!!! *Smile*
44
44
Review of The Dance  
Review by Shadow
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
I think story is good. You have told it well.

I think it just needs some more imagery and maybe you could express her feelings more so the reader can feel what she feels when reading this.

"She sat in her desk impatiently"- I think this should say "She sat at her desk..."

I always hated when kids would act like this when I was in school. I just don't think people need to be so mean.

This story has great potential. *Smile*
45
45
Review of Five Seconds  
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (3.5)
This is interesting.
It's funny how one thought leads to another then another especially when we are daydreaming.

You have some nice imagery here. It would enhance this piece if there were more vivid imagary.

I like the style that you wrote this in. Casual, it works for this piece *Smile*
46
46
Review by Shadow
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
This is good.
The story is good. I think you tell it well.

In the first four stanzas I think you did a great job with the wording.

In the last few stanzas, I think you did a good job telling the story but in some parts the way you have it worded seems complicated. Like the words are in the wrong place, if that makes sense.

I loved the ending. It is so true and can be sad.
47
47
Review by Shadow
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I think you did a very good job expressing your opinion in this article.

You have made some very good points.

I like the way you began the article with an example other than here at writing.com. Sadly it's not once apon a time but still happening, at least where I live.

I think you did a great job writing this.

There were a few areas that you seemed to repeat yourself, mainly about the beggers are beggers. But I think you made your point very well.

I also like that you gave examples of some ways members can 'earn' Gps.

The title is catchy.
48
48
Review of HEARTBREAKER  
Review by Shadow
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
This is very good. A very nice title.
I think you did a great job of telling this story in this poem.
I liked the next to last stanza the best.

I the flow of the poem could be a little better but the content makes up for it.
Great job.

Congratulations on the awardicon *Smile*
49
49
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (5.0)
I think this is a wonderful story and you have done a great job of writing it.

From the beginning to end, I found this to be interesting and fun to read. I liked the excited feeling the character (you) gave.

I really think you did a very good job with this story.

I think a more creative title would do this peice more justice.

"reviewers club"
50
50
Review by Shadow
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think your word choicing is good in this poem.
I'm wondering who the speaker in the poem is refering to when comparing their life to whoever it is.

I think the first line reads odd. It seems like maybe the first word needs to be taken out.

This poem ends nicely.

"reviewers club"
135 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 6 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/shadow777/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/2