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124 Public Reviews Given
129 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
The plot within this piece is enjoyable. You made an excellent attempt at telling an interesting story.

In my opinion there were alot of ups and downs in the poem. It was almost like an emotional roller coaster of some sort!

There were some lines within that I really did enjoy as well...for example :

"Victimless crime she truly desires
her last chance in life to restart the fire."



I really enjoyed that stanza.

In my opinion, this was a very unique poem. At points the poem really seemed to flow well. I'm not sure why the entire poem didn't come together for me...(but in my opinion, THATS POETRY).

We all get our different feelings and thoughts when reading poetry.

I don't know if putting it together in a more traditional format...or going all out with unique-ness would improve the poem.

Bottom line, I rated it 4 stars...meaning I really did enjoy the poem. I guess my point is, it's hard for me to apprehend exact words of encouragement for improvement.

Solid Creation.
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Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Awsome!

I love to see someone enjoy the Christmas spirit such as you have...but then also keep appropiate views in the picture. You're not letting the Christmas spirit take over...not letting guilt or emotion give in to making her feel better. Ahmen brother. lol

Dont get it twisted though, I have a a good soul, and a good heart....but I COMPLETELY agree with this poem

I loved it

Merry Christmas my friend, and I wish you a very happy and prosperous New Year!

Great Creation!!
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Review of Heart vs. Eyes  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I really enjoyed the format of this poem--stanza wise.

I also enjoyed the message that I recieved from reading it.

This poem was written in a truly unique way, with nothing about it being non-original. That is why I liked it the most.

This is just my opinion, and I hope you do not take anything I say the wrong way:

I feel the puncuation needs to be improved in this poem. I seen that did in fact use a semi-colon, but feel that more should of been used. I feel you need to put in periods... every line in the first stanza ends in a comma, and it feels like the stanza is all run together...

I am truly sorry if I sound like I'm picking the poem apart...I mean only good things by telling you this. Ofcourse, I'm not the greatest writer in the world....I don't really see myself as a very good one at all. So in conclusion, this is just me speaking my mind...something I tend to do alot in real life...lol

Overall I enjoyed reading this poem

Nice Creation.
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Review of Vortex  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
One thing I enjoyed about this poem...is I feel the reader can create his or her own unique flow to the poem.

You have no periods in this poem...you do have comma's though. Due to this, you create breaks in the poem which you want the reader to respect...and then you leave the rest to the reader.

"To run from the vortex
Before the fall starts
Don't let them catch you
But they will
Leaving the world behind you
Empty, and still"

For an example: The reader can read the above exerpt in his or her own unique way. "But they will", in my opinion, can be part of 2 different sentances/phrases/lines.

I also agree with the poem as a whole, (for the most part). I mean, poetry is great because everyone has their own respected opinion.

I agree that, not only is it okay to let yourself fall, I feel it is neccesary to do this every now and then.

Me myself, is constantly uptight. I am always go go go , and work work work. I don't know how to just let myself go.

I have been trying, and its nice to read this poem, one that I can connect to.

Great Creation!!
5
5
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was a very Holiday-esque poem for me.

I felt there was great desciptions used, and solid vocabulary.
"as a tear trickled down my cheek.
He shared the joy I felt inside;
his face glowed as I tried to speak."

The ending made this creation incredibly cute. At first the poem starts off as if its a husband or wife, or significant other.

The fact that it is the son who is only 5 made this poem even more heart-felt.

Great Creation!
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Review of Self Help  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
You are correct--
"Everyone has a right to be...
Cheerful and happy like me..."

For people in depression though, that is WAY easier said than done.

I do have one question...
"...injoy today..." -- was 'injoy' meant to be spelled as it is?

Another great point--
"...We live for today and
things that will last"

I believe that we all should live for today...not neccasarily things that will last though...due to fact that I believe all good things do eventually come to an end. I also believe that things WILL happen today that I must enjoy due to the fact that I have no idea when I'll be able to enjoy them again, if ever.

These are just my opinions, and I enjoyed that you poem caused me to express them.

Great Creation!
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Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I especially enjoyed how you ended this poem.

I think the poem had a great flow to it, with rhyming helping.

I also think that maybe it would of been a nicer format and visually entertaining if it was broken up into 4 typical stanzas.

However, with this said, it is solely my opinion, as I did enjoy reading this creation.
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Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
A peaceful poem in my opinion. It does bring back memories of when I was a child and went hiking through the snow to go sledding. I wish only that I could of enjoyed the first storm of the year here. I was trapped at the hotel I worked at, while we got hammered with 17 inches of snow in one evening.

I would like to just point out that maybe you should capitilize the word Christmas in the 5th stanza.

I enjoyed reading this, as it brought my mind back to simpler times. Today I just feel so overwhelmed with work and daily life.

I will take this poem into consideration the next time it snows, and probaly go for a nice walk thanks to it.

Thank you for bringing me back to when everything was 'easy'
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Review of I Warned You  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Oh boy...I can sense and/or feel a VERY dark and anger-filled emotion while reading this poem.

This poem starts off pretty innocent with the first stanza...then just explodes with the 'chopping head' line. From here out it seems an attempt was made to create a gruesome image within the readers head with the red snow.

I must say, I did like the poem, but may of enjoyed it better if it stayed a little more innocent.

I also would of enjoyed it better if it was COMPLETELY filled with darkness and anger.

Overall I think it was a nice creation, and certainly unique.
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Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I would have to agree that this has happened to most of us.

No rhyme scheme or anything, but there was no need.

It was simple and to the point, and because of this portrayed the intened image.

I enjoyed reading this poem, mainly due to the fact that I am in the middle of these types of feelins.

I work at a hotel and got snowed in over the weekend. I met a girl who was also snowed in, and now she is back down in florida. The worst part is I have strong feelings for her, as my relationship with my gf at home seems to be losing an uphill battle.

Well written, simple, and easy to read.
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Review of Voice of an Angel  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I like it.
I like how you have formatted the poem more than any other part.
I like the use of repetition of the one line in each stanza, and then how you end the poem.

This poem motivates me to create a poem for one I care for. I fell for a women this past weekend while the crazy amount of snow trapped me in the hotel I work at. The 3 girls were forced to stay at my hotel since most of the other hotels had no power...and thats how we met. Now she has checked out today, as we spent the last 3 nights together.

I just always wonder why events occur the way they do, and why we meet the people we do. This poem creates lovable happy wonderous thoughts within.

Nice poem.
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Review of Soul Eater  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
That is quite a powerful "very rough" poem right there.

My only wishes go out to those who actually have to live like that (and I realize how many actually do).

Since you have described this poem as a rough draft, maybe I can express some of my own opinions.

There seems to be no rhyme scheme, and I think that that is good for a poem of this magnitude. I personally think that maybe the poem would be better suited with a more proper stanza format.

The first 2 stanzas are the same amount of lines, then the rest of the stanzas vary in number of lines.
If not more of a proper stanza format, I feel you may want to add more of a "unique" touch to it.

Maybe add some indentations to certain lines to add more feel to that specific line or word.
Maybe a handful more of some breaks or commas to seperate some wording or sentance structure.

An example I guess (Remeber this is just my opinion, As I do love to see uniquness within creations)

"Festering wounds on my spirit
Rotting my soul from within"

Above is 2 lines from the poem.--

Festering wounds-
Lay on my spirit;
Rotting, my soul from within.


This is just my opinion. I personally, like I have stated, love to see unique line breaks, and line set-up (as long as it agrees with setting and plot and emotion) of the creation.

With this poem, you speak of horrendous acts, and from my point of view the poem gives off an angry vibe towards the people who perform such acts. (understandable)

Good luck with your editing, I hope some of my review assists you into turning this creation into a masterpiece.
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Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I can just remember when I was younger and was hiking through snow that was above my knees. My and my brother would be holding snow tubes to go sledding down the giant hill on the neighboring golf course.

You depict a wonderful image of the holiday season. It makes me think back to how wonderful the golden days were when I was younger, and havent a care in the world.

I must say though, the image you portray is that of a movie in my opinion. (You do a great job with by the way)

I wish I could get into such seasonal spirit as that of this poem.

I thank you for sharing this Christmas image, as it puts a smile on my face, and makes me think of the easier times when I was young and truly enjoying the falling snow.

Good creation in my opinion.
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Review of The Muse  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I'm not sure if it was meant to be....but I sensed an intense amount of anger out of this poem. I've read it a couple time now, and continue to feel anger explode from out of it.

With this said, I truly enjoyed it!!

With the anger I felt, I feel I felt more strength. It's such a mix of emotions.

I feel like its a sad poem, yet I sense more optimism than anything.

I do agree with the message sent. I do feel that we are just puppets within an extremely large play, called the world. I also think that we are just incredibely smalllllllll roles within this play.

Great clash of emotions in this creation, and great use of vocabulary in my opinion. Thank you for sharing your strength and honesty with piece.

Great creation!!
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Review of A Forest Walk  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
So peaceful.
Nature truly is beautiful; and you depict an incredible scene of this through words
You use great vocabulary, and maintain a solid flow throughout the poem.
I really do not have any suggestions for this piece, as I believe it was very well written.
Thank you for portraying a scene like you have. It has brought peace over me, while I sit in a hectic worplace with numbers and paperwork (damn hotels).
I truly enjoyed it, and thought it was a great creation!
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Review of Remember...  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Incredibly motivational.

I chose to read this poem due to your description. I like positive poetry. I like strength in words. You do a great job with this I believe.

You maintain a consistant rhyme scheme throughout. You have have great vocabulary. You also portray incredibly great points.

Remember all the helpers, remember the broken and fallen. Remember what you stand for....

In my opinion, too many people in this world today do not stand up enough for their own beliefs. Not enough people truly stand for something that is 'theirs'.

Too many people think they have such an awful life, but I feel that they should step back, and realize how good they 'actually' have it. I personally have been through more than my fair share...I keep my chin up, and work my *** off. Thats all I can do. Everyday we need to wake up and attempt to make a difference. Whether its in the world, or in someones, or even in an animals life....I beleive everyone atleast needs to try.

One small typo I beleive---"Remember all the helpers, who where there night and day,"--should that be "were" instead of "where"??

Either way, I still give it a 5. I love motivational poetry, and you wrote, in my opinion, and extrodinary piece.
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Review of Her  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I chose to read this poem because I was overly curious about what you wrote about when you said " A poem for a girl I really like"

Many many males are just look this. They sit back and stare, and think of the great possibilites that could come. I love how you finish the poem, and act upon your feelings.

The following are solely my opinion:

I think that the very end, "And I act." is separated too far from the poem. I think that you need to atleast move it closer to the rest of the writing.

Overall I do like you choice of words. I think the word accomplish would fit better in the last line of the last stanza instead of " gotten done".

Maybe instead of "I don’t know if I could ask her"--Not sure if I could as her........just my opinion.

I hope that my comments are taken with a grain of salt. I do like your poem and these are just opinions.
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Review of Sucram  
Review by A. J. Stevens
Rated: E | (4.0)
The content within this poem is very very good. I think you ask tremendous life questions throughout. I think that you use great vocabulary as well.

I can sense strong inner emotions wrote this poem for you. You exhibit a unique form of writing as well.

As for critical comments:

In my opinion: I understand the reasoning behind the format of this poem. It DOES creat great breaks and make me breath between certain lines. However, it does cause my eyes to wander throughout the page.

I think the most adjusting to this poem has to be done to the way it looks.

I personally beleive the poem would be better suited all to the left, yet you can keep stairway effects, and keep different indents. I just feel you need a common focal point for the start of most lines.

I hope this helps you through your editing process. Good luck!
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Review of Darkness  
Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
It is as if I can feel the emotion dripping out of this creation as droplets just dripping! You have your normal unique-ness within the poem, and great descriptions. I am jealous of the characters strength that is shown.

It has no ryhme or pre-meditated scheme, it is true free style, and I love it. You have just let the emotions guide your fingertips through the keyboard to create this piece.

It's amazing, the character feels no fear, only peace while embracing someone like embracing death.

You last line was terrific.
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Review by A. J. Stevens
In affiliation with WDC Frontliners Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I had a smile on my face the entire time I read this. This little child is such a little trouble maker! You have done a wonderful job, in my opinion, of placing me in the home with the child. I can just picture him putting 'wee-wee in the whiskey' and switching out a treat for a dog chew...so clever!

In my opinion: There was great flow to the poem for the most part. Since you feel you must work on it more, I would say maybe continually re-read the poem out loud, and switch out some vocabulary to even out certain lines. "Or maybe I better even the score?..."-- maybe replace better with should....I don't really know. I personally think the poem is pretty strong.

"To a sound that sounded grim,
It woke the house up it was so loud
What a din!"---I guess this is an example of the switch up in a fast moving, nice flow that I got the sense of.


"I reacon Daddy scared him off"--I believe that should be 'reckon' -- I believe the way it is now is meant to be sneaky...like a reacon sniper...

"He’d told daddy to "--In my opinion you may not need the " 'd " in there

"I’m sure he won’t cross,
It’s kind of funny in my mind,
See Santa’s sort of magic,
And these traps I hope he’ll find,.."---This stanza confuses me a little---its like the child is sure Santa won't cross the traps, but you hope he finds the traps.....

I hope my opinions assist you in you editing process...make sure to shoot me an e - mail if you do choose to edit this creation. Again, I liked your poem and any and all statements I make are just me and my opinions.

Nice creation!
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Review of tuning in  
Review by A. J. Stevens
Rated: E | (4.0)
I thought that this was a very unique poem. I thought you made a great attempt to connect with deep, inner emotions. The only problem, for me, is that I could not really connect to it.

Again, I think the poem was a very great idea. As it seemingly is describing how you yourself "Tune in"

I think this is why I could not make a genuine connection with it. When I read it, I can picture yourself, trying to look as deep as possible, then trying to squeeze it out of you....Then it all about blows out, and you release your grip....then it flow.

I think it was a solid, unique, little creation.
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Review by A. J. Stevens
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have done an absolutely amazing job painting a picture with words. It is as if you placed me in this surbubia atmosphere, and led me down the road.

I am from a very small town myself, tucked along the Atlantic Ocean. I can appreciate the symphony that nature plays from night to night.

Crickets with violins, and the leaves as wind chimes....My favorite metaphor you made by far. You have a very creative mind.

This poem was amazing in my opinion, and I really cannot reccomend much to improve it.

Very very solid creation. Great great job.
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Review by A. J. Stevens
Rated: E | (4.5)
Man, I think I got the point. People buying those ugly awful jeans that look like they are old as hell, yet they are brand new. I cannot stand fashion. My girlfriend came home with a pair of jeans last month. They were for her. They had little holes, like the size of quarters in the thighs, with the threads still connecting. I asked how she already ripped them and she told me she bought them that way. I looked at the reciept and said "Are you crazy?!"

She simply told me that her mom bought them.

What has our youth turned into today?!

I don't know, I'm 23, no kids yet, I've got enough on my plate with bills and pets...and ofcourse my girlfriend buying pants with holes in them.

Great topic for a poem. Nice creation!
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Review of Thrifty Times  
Review by A. J. Stevens
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
For these to all to NOT be rated 5 stars...I cannot fathom. Unreal. The fact that you can create something that makes sense, and has very good descriptions, without repeating a word...Is amazing.

It takes a VERY broad vocabulary to pull off such creations.

Not only do you pull it off, you do it in fashion!

Tremendous!
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Review by A. J. Stevens
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Very emotional. You seemed to truly let your emotions create this poem. I have a deep respect for you and for your strength. Keep your head up (easier said than done, I know), you have good writing skills.

Mix your skills with your emotions and there is no limit to the greatness your writings can achieve.

Nice creation, and good luck.
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