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333 Public Reviews Given
333 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Very rarely when people use fae as characters do they choose a leprechaun without making them evil or cheesy. I like your character. He minds his own business and the only evil done was due to the other man’s actions alone.

I would have liked to know if people often saw fae folk (as indicated by the bartender’s reaction) but this is not required for the enjoyment of the piece.

I love the use of traditional language here. Of course the italicised translation helps those who are not aware of meaning. Separating the font like this also means the reader can simply ignore the first part as required. However, because some of the ‘normal’ speech is also plain font, the reader is slowed by having to decipher this. My suggestion (purely personal only and not an error or anything) would be to put the traditional language in italics and the rest in plain font.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
52
52
Review of Jingle Jangle  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This piece is very well written and you have an excellent use of pace and adjectives. The story is original in many ways and I congratulate you for that.

Now onto technicailities!

‘its your’s’ should be ‘it’s yours’.

‘I wasn’t going to turn around and look at the thing, I wasn’t going to acknowledge its existence’ should be ; not a comma.

‘object was If anything, jingling louder’ shouldn’t have a capital for ‘if’.

“ Colin why won’t you just take it?” had an extra space that is not required after the quotation mark.

‘There was terror in that scream, the feeling of fear seemed to carry on the sound. Something bad was happening in my parents bedroom’ try putting ; after scream. Also ‘parents’ should be parents’. This latter comment is also applicable for ‘parents room at the bottom end of the landing’.

‘Michael had began to hit me sobbing’ I’m not the best at grammar but something is niggling me to think this should be ‘begun’ because of the ‘to hit me’ and that ‘began’ would be used for something like ‘began hitting me’.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
53
53
Review of The Monster  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My son went through a brief period of being scared of Santa items, so this is something as a parent I have first hand knowledge about in a way. I find it humorous the way you have put it together from the perspective of Mira. Being so young of course she doesn’t necessarily understand full what is going on. Of course, she knows enough to be aware that it is hollow inside and so on.

While it would be nice to have clearer age identifiers and comments, or even if she had always been scared of them and why, given the point of the story it is not required. You are retelling an ‘event’ beautifully and the background would add development but it is enjoyable on its own.

Only technicality that stood out was ‘to hide it's true identity’ which should not have the apostrophe.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
54
54
Review of Pumpkin Carver  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I do like when stories manage to border on the reader questioning if something really is supernaturally occurring or whether it is the insanity of the person displaying itself. I think you have managed to walk this fine line extremely well.

Onto technicalities!

‘Where is mother,’ should have a question mark not a comma.

‘We carved for hours while we sand the little tune’ I think is meant to be ‘sang’.

‘l it the wicks’ I think is meant to be ‘I lit’.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
55
55
Review of The Lake  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I love stories like this that feed on the fear of what could be in such deep water given you cannot see far below the surface.

I would have liked to know if the beast had ever taken others, whether it was a town legend or if this was the first time. But given the story is about the father’s actions, this knowledge is not required to benefit from the piece.

Only technicality that stood out was ‘Although its been’ which should be ‘it’s’.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
56
56
Review of Ball  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Very interesting story. One often wonders what these creatures would do between such times if they were in fact real.

I find it interesting they only come out on Halloween given many places do not celebrate it. Also many of the mythologies of these creatures have other special dates depending on where they originated from. But still, I can see why you have done it in this way as a mechanic and it still brings simplicity and enjoyment.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
57
57
Review of Soul Survivor  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was incredibly well written. It preys on the fears of strangers accessing our children. While we teach our children to be wary of strangers, we encourage trick or treating, sitting on Santa’s lap and all sorts of other things.
Only real technicalities I can give are: ‘To each her own, I guess’ – unsure if this is meant to the ‘their’ in accordance with the saying or if Travis is saying it that way because he was speaking about a female.
This sentence reads clunky ‘She wasn’t longed for the earthly realm, but God has something much greater planned for her’.
Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
58
58
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This feels and reads like it is the beginning of a longer piece. I would like to know what happened with the father after the marriage failed, did he have contact? Also, more clarification on the era it is taking place in would be beneficial to the story, but not required.

Just a few technicalities. In the sentence ‘My mother was only 20 and had returned home after a failed marriage while pregnant with me, bringing along my older brother, who had been born just a few days short of a year before’ were you meaning a year before she moved or a year before the second birth?

Also, you use ‘the’ twice in ‘I remember how shiny the the green and gold sateen fabric looked, how cool it felt’.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
59
59
Review of Modern Classics  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Ah, but the monster was not the beast, it was his creator! Sorry, had to say it. You have put together a very interesting, almost modernisation, of an old classic and its title is well deserved.

I’m unsure about localised spelling, but where I am ‘graying’ is spelt ‘greying’.

Also, you need a question mark at the end of ‘What old dude really asks ‘who is the ultimate monster’ on the L at 4 AM with a total stranger’.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
60
60
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
It is interesting how the guilt of mistakes made can come to haunt us once we see the pain it causes others. Many people do not realise such guilt can cause physical symptoms and make our bodies waste away. I think you did well in making this story as long as it needed to be, as I don’t think it would work being longer or shorter than the current length.

Onto technicalities!

Try to avoid using the same word in a short word span. For example, ‘He still maintained that physique that drew all the pretty girls’ could be ‘the physique’ or ‘which drew’ to avoid feeling of word repetition.

Careful with the tenses you use. While you use past tense in ‘He spitted on her’, spitted is actually a different word and the past tense is ‘spat’.

Some of the punctuation and commas are in odd spots. For example, ‘best friend…she,’ reads clunky with where the comma is.

At points the timeline you are using is confusing. You may want to separate sentences to clarify the events better. For example, ‘The day Basil went to visit John, exactly one month from now’ because of the surrounding sentences seems out of place.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
61
61
Review of Man In The Mirror  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
I would have liked to know more about your main character’s current age. While we know she is older, yet still in school, she could be anything from 12-18 years. The sexual violence in your story is described minimally, which is best for a piece required to be so brief. However, indications of her age in more clarity may present the reader with additional horror/revulsion of the act performed despite the brevity of the description.

While it is also not clear how he turned her into furniture (for example, magic or the act he performed on her), this too is not required given the requirement of the piece to be so short. If at any time you wish to expand the piece, it may be good to insert such scene/description or even how she reacted to the furniture before and after the act. Did they give her the creeps when she went in, did she touch them and did that give her a mental reaction, does she even know what has happened to her?

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
62
62
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This is a well written piece. I have a habit of taking in strays or adopting unwanted animals so knowing others are aware of such issues makes me all warm and fuzzy.

You switch between the perspective of the people and also the puppy. I think it would benefit from a single perspective. It may, if you want to experiment, be interesting for you two write two versions, one by the little girl and one by the puppy and see which you like more.

Only real error I spotted was ‘along spances between slabs of cement’ which I think should be spaces.

Other than that, well done!


WDC POWER REVIEWERS
63
63
Review of The Stalker  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very well done. It is always hard to provide depth as well as event in such a short span of words. Despite a lack of description regarding the characters, I still manage to picture a flash of children playing in the backyard once I read the last line.

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
64
64
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Interesting piece. I liked that you discussed the trigger for the stalker, the anonymous contact and so on. I would have liked more indication of escalation over time given how long it has been occurring, or if she had noticed and taken steps to prevent it, but of course this can be difficult when written in a first person perspective.

I also like that you were mindful of how differently he would see the ‘kill’ given it was not out of anger, also how he would arrange the body given his care for her.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
65
65
Review of Valentine's Day  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
It’s always hard to write a story in such a short word span, but I think here you have done an awesome job. While we do not know how long he stalked her or how before kidnapping, the required brevity of the piece means this cannot be known. Still we know how they met, the trigger for the stalking, ‘who’ she is and what is occurring now. While it would be interesting to know if the blood is from cuts or if she is dead, this is not required for the reader to finalise the climax in their minds.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
66
66
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
An interesting story. You have the innocuous connections there, but I would have liked to read more leading up to the event. Did Jess notice gifts or other forms of attempted communication before he phoned, as this is often what occurs with stalkers.

Also, I think tweaking the use of adjectives in the phone conversations would help to heighten the terror felt by Jess.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
67
67
Review of Mistaken Identity  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Interesting write up. I think it would be good to flesh the piece out a bit, provide more details such as why the ‘hero’ was expelled from the FBI, was he in the counter terrorism unit previously and so on.

The sentence ‘I had to utilize my skills as a hunter not to lose him again because he had a knack for disappearing in a blink of an eye.’ Which appears not long after he starts following the terrorist confuses me somewhat. How did he know that he could disappear like that unless it had occurred, if it had occurred how did he find him again?

We know the hero performs surveillance over a period of time. This would be a good point to flesh out the habits and activities of your terrorist. Do they confirm or cause doubt for your hero’s assumptions?

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
68
68
Review of The Afghan Girl  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Very well done. It is interesting how the most minor things can have such an incredible impact on a person.

I would have liked to know how old the wife and daughters were during the accident. While part of me would also like to know if the court case and conviction of the other driver had an impact, that is a side issue given the overall piece.

I would also like to know what other impacts the photo had besides helping to move on. Did it curb drinking straight away? Did it cause other lifestyle changes? But again this is not necessary for the piece.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
69
69
Review of Maybel Bledsoe  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
An interesting insight into a woman whose marital isolation and age are impacting on her confidence. No doubt this began the spiral down of her sales, which in turn destroyed her self-esteem further. I also like that you show how the smallest of things can lift one so high, but from such height there is the risk of a greater fall.

Just a few technicalities. Firstly, watch how you word and spell things around punctuation. For example, ‘Into the mirror, she stared, And she wanted to cry.’ should be ‘and’ given it is a comma before it.

Makes sure the tense you are writing in is consistent. For example, ‘though she knew her hair wasn’t as bad as others she’s seen’ should be ‘she’d’ given the tense being used.

Also, sometimes when proof reading it helps to read aloud to yourself. This can show where things are worded in a ‘cumbersome’ or seemingly incorrect way. For example, ‘Each time he looked at her, she couldn’t help a gently yearning for more than a lingering glimpse’ feels like it should be ‘gently yearning’ or ‘a gentle yearn’.

A pet hate of mine and I know something often frowned on by others is starting a sentence with ‘And’. When stories are written from a character perspective like this it is not so bad, but it really stood out like a sore thumb when you started a paragraph with it, that is, ‘And Maybel Bledsoe couldn’t stop staring at his lips.’

Lastly, be careful using the same word in a short word span to avoid the reader feeling repetitiveness. As an example, look how often you use the word ‘and’ in the sentence ‘She saw the word leave her mouth and land on the young man’s face, his delicate ears, and seep inside to play around with his brain and make his eyes squint that way.’

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
70
70
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
An interesting take on the organ trade. Often people forget the skin itself is an organ and that at some point, when surgical techniques progress, this too will be marketed like internal organs for people with need.

I would have liked more description on the actual skin, was it synthetic? From a clone? Harvested from someone who was killed? Harvested from dead bodies?

While we do not know why the main character wants the skin and some may say there should be more character development in this respect, I honestly do not believe it would add more to the actual plot of the story here.

I like your use of adjectives. In certain parts they are plain, making the paragraph clinical and factual which suits the ‘theme’ of the paragraph. In other parts they are more elaborate, which also suits those bits.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
71
71
Review of Do Not Go Gently  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Your use of adjectives is well done. However, I think they would benefit from being more ‘unique’ instead of generic. For example, ‘made her platinum hair glow orange’ could be something like ‘gave a fiery glow to her otherwise platinum hair’.

I am also a massive fan of symbolism when I choose character names. Given I know what the traditional meaning of Lumen is; I give kudos for this choice.

Also, I am not sure what the localised spelling of ‘pajamas’ is where you are from, so I maybe wrong, but here it is spelt ‘pyjamas’.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
72
72
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
First off, I really enjoyed reading this story. I was wondering when the real zombies would come out and it wasn’t just a theme of the alley.

Just some technicalities, there are ten pins in a frame, not twenty. Maybe extra ones have been placed for his audition, but if it was twenty then it would not form a triangle as described, with the last row either being 15 or 21.

I’m curious to know if zombies are actually common place given there was little reaction from the new bowler when they were revealed.

Also, try to keep track of when you should be using a numeral instead of writing the number. With times, try to include the pm/am as appropriate.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
73
73
Review of Dead Not Buried  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I really like this. I like the anonymity of the piece. We never know names or anything else, just what is occurring. The way you have conducted the narrative is interesting, no dialogue, just plain. The simplicity is in and of itself beautiful and lends a stylised tragedy to what is occurring.

Only thing I can mention, which may or may not be correct depending on your localised spelling, is ‘rearview.’ which is rear view where I come from.

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
74
74
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I love zombies. I read about them, watch movies with them, but surprisingly I don’t tend to play that many games involving them as FPS tends to give me a headache. Still your story is done in such a way where it isn’t lacking for the reader to have not played the particular games and also manages to convey enough information that they are obviously game characters.

I would have liked to know if the zombies broke in after setting up the interview (thereby following the two heroes) or if they were already there like in many of the various games around. Still, good job!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
75
75
Review of Freezing Cold  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I always find it hard to review entries into competitions with such a short word count, as many of the elements present in longer pieces cannot be present due to the nature of the venture.

I found this one amusing to read. I think you give a good snapshot of the event in a way where very little character development is required. While I would have liked to know how they were fundraising in the pond or even what they were fundraising for, this is not required to be able to understand and enjoy the story.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
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