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Public Reviews
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76
76
Review of Mr. Smiley  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I really enjoyed reading this story. At first I wanted more description of the main character, but you go on with a timeline that gives me enough to work on as a reader.

There were very few technical errors. Only one really stood out, but it may be a localised difference. To me, ‘a horde of locust’ should be locusts, but as I said I could be wrong depending on what country you are writing from.

I think it would be interesting to explore an additional theme. I know this is incredibly taboo in most writing, but I think it would be interesting to give more hint towards whether it is a supernatural being or whether it is something like her father ‘visiting’ her given the association of the smile with her other sexual abuse encounter.

Other than that, well done!


WDC POWER REVIEWERS


I really enjoyed reading this story. At first I wanted more description of the main character, but you go on with a timeline that gives me enough to work on as a reader.

There were very few technical errors. Only one really stood out, but it may be a localised difference. To me, ‘a horde of locust’ should be locusts, but as I said I could be wrong depending on what country you are writing from.

I think it would be interesting to explore an additional theme. I know this is incredibly taboo in most writing, but I think it would be interesting to give more hint towards whether it is a supernatural being or whether it is something like her father ‘visiting’ her given the association of the smile with her other sexual abuse encounter.
I really enjoyed reading this story. At first I wanted more description of the main character, but you go on with a timeline that gives me enough to work on as a reader.

There were very few technical errors. Only one really stood out, but it may be a localised difference. To me, ‘a horde of locust’ should be locusts, but as I said I could be wrong depending on what country you are writing from.

I think it would be interesting to explore an additional theme. I know this is incredibly taboo in most writing, but I think it would be interesting to give more hint towards whether it is a supernatural being or whether it is something like her father ‘visiting’ her given the association of the smile with her other sexual abuse encounter.

Other than that, well done!


WDC POWER REVIEWERS



Other than that, well done!


WDC POWER REVIEWERS
77
77
Review of The Bet  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with Sensual Infusion  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
This was very enjoyable to read. I found it interesting that very little description was given of the encounter and the majority of the story is devoted to the lead up. Despite this, we know very little about the actual characters and I feel the story would benefit from more development of their 'connection'.

There are very little technical errors, though I did see one error I think may have been missed. I think 'I don’t mean to sound clique' should be cliche.

Try to avoid using the same words in short spans, for example, 'again? It might be good for your street cred to be seen with me again'.


I find the story believable and ultimately at the end of the day this is the main thing to achieve in a piece limited by such word count.

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78
78
Review of The Matchmaker  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Definitely an interesting piece and I can see the Twilight Zone likeness as you described. In some ways I almost wish it did have the commentary!
Some of the story is not quite clear. You describe the changes as being gradual, yet have comments such as ‘total opposition to what she had been only an hour before’ which makes it seem sudden.
There are some technical errors, for example, ‘Will she find me as attractive, he wondered’ should have a question mark and “Your absolutely handsome” should be ‘you’re’.
Also watch spacing around quotation marks, sometimes there are extra ones. For example, “ Not just yet,” she smiled. “Let me get to know myself. It’s so unreal. I’m afraid it’s all a dream.”

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
79
79
Review of Dearly Beloved  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | N/A (Review only item.)
This is honestly the best ‘retelling’ of the famous poem I have ever read. Many go too close to the events or depart so far it is hard to make the connections, but I feel you have walked that line incredibly well.

There were only a few technical errors I could see.

‘He thoughts kept drifting back to his beloved.‘ Unsure if this is meant to be ‘his’ or ‘the’.

‘a suitable diagnoses for her condition.’ Diagnoses is a plural but the preceding portion of the sentence is singular. I recommend changing it to diagnosis.

‘She told him she was tired and wished to lay down.’ I’m not an expert in grammar, but for some reason reading this sentence my mind thinks it should be ‘lie’ not ‘lay’.
Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
80
80
Review of Love Potion  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
I did like this story. The ‘twist’ was a bit obvious for me, but the way you carried it out, including addressing whether she had thought it through completely, was very well done. Just one part really seemed odd for me. The paragraph ‘Tanya doubted that he was either one. If he was married, he didn't wear a ring. Besides, married men still enjoyed looking at attractive women, even in the presence of their wives. She was pretty sure that he wasn't gay because she had seen him on dates with women before, although never with the same one twice.’ To me the dates also indicate he wasn’t married, so it seemed superfluous to cover the marriage contradiction first.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
81
81
Review by Talera
Rated: E | (4.0)
I think this is well written. You cannot tell from the language used if the person was an observer or participant (more likely observer) and I like that as it means the observer can also be swept up in the actions of the group.

I am unsure if it is meant to be in a vortex or into a vortex. Also, the poem could be improved with use of measure, but I also tend to write ones without measure and find at times forcing the tempo can distract from the almost ethereal nature of some writing.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
82
82
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Careful using the same word more than once in short time span, it can make the reader feel the paragraph is repetitive. For example, in your first paragraph count how many times you use water/watered or hose compared to the number of actual sentences.

Careful on spelling. ‘Traveled’ where I come from is ‘travelled’ but it may only have one l in your country.

I would like to have had more insight into the hardships experienced, but it is not required to understand the piece itself which is a nice exercise in reflection.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
83
83
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
First of all, it looks like you have proof read your work before posting. Many people don’t do this and when I notice someone who has I like to praise them for it!

I like this story. It is obvious (to me anyway) who the killer would be given the limited characters and the title of the story. Still, I enjoyed how the plot was carried out.

My only questions are on the ability of the killer to carry out the actions. While at that age they would be intelligent enough to know how, especially if they were a sociopath (or as current theory says that too is a type of psychopath), I do not believe they would have the brute strength for the actions or the ability to cover it up given the mess it would have caused. Also, it would have been nice to include why they killed the mother figure.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
84
84
Review of The Hidden Side  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
To me this seems like it could be the start of something longer. I could be wrong though as people often only put short pieces on in order to experiment with phrasing.

You manage to use description well. If it is an introduction I feel that, while it is not too much in this section, continuing at that level will distract your reader from the pace of the plot. Despite this, you have set the scene quite well if it is to be based in this location (or at least commence there). It also gives your reader a feel for the type of flow you will present in a longer piece.

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
85
85
Review of Heaven on Earth  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I found this interesting because of the double play on the word harmony. Not only does it have inference in relation to sound but also to a peaceful coexistence. Given the current focus on the environmental damage mankind is causing, especially near waterways, it is (in my opinion) quite nice to reflect on the harmony of the co-existence external to as well as the harmony a scene like this can cause within an individual.

Only thing I can recommend is returning and adding some punctuation to the piece.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
86
86
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I really liked this piece. The language tone when you are relaying the event as a child is poetic and adds to the fluid of the scene and also the concept of the music and the teacher.

Then your tone adjusts when you are discussing your current feelings and concept of self.

I, for one, agree wholeheartedly with your concept of diversity. I remember when we were studying feminism and I commented that, if finances allowed, I would like to stay home and raise any children I gave birth to. I was told by the feminist trying to educate me that this was simply because I had been shackled into thinking I should do this by our oppressive patriarchal society. I must admit, I still remember the look on her face when I told her that it was in fact her feminism which was oppressing me by not recognising I had made my own individual decision based on my desires and that her assumption meant she was saying I couldn’t think for myself.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
87
87
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
I found this piece to be interesting, albeit brief. I’m not sure if you faced a word limit.

You mention many of the concepts often referred to in literature regarding youth, innocence and conforming. I am heartened by the concepts you mention and the literature you bring to the forefront.

I want to mention a few concepts, more as devil’s advocate than anything else. Sometimes, when you write pieces like this, it is just as much about dismissing alternate theories as well as putting forth your view.

One of the first ones is the concept of innocence of youth and how adolescents behave is due to this. However, much innocence craved by adults is lost by the time someone reaches adolescence. How does a teenager engaging in these things reflect this innocence and not some other concept such as invincibility?

Yes Lord of the Flies looks towards the notion of a Utopian society. Yet, we must acknowledge that these young boys, once innocent, when left to their own devices quickly lost this trait and actually began forming their own rules, finding it difficult to exist with a state of anarchy. Further, many of them end up conforming to a mob mentality instead of remaining with their individuality. Given this, does the book actually prove or disprove your overall argument?

Also, how does conforming to a set of rules automatically remove individuality? For example, being told to have lunch within certain timeframes still allows someone to choose what they eat, where in the timeframe they eat, who they share their meal with and so on. This would then allow them to express some form of individuality. In fact, when they become adults and make their own decisions on when to have lunch, would this not then increase the individuality they express as they have an extra option?

As I said, I’m throwing in concepts as Devil’s Advocate. Thinking about opposing theories and explanations often will help you to solidify the one you are proposing as you will then detail it enough to discount competing theories.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
88
88
Review of Mansquatch  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece has made my morning. Very amusing! I like the physical description, finding it interesting that while the name ‘mansquatch’ implies a large degree of hair/fur, this is not covered initially, being addressed in the bald ones on motorcycles :)

Only a few technical errors, such as ‘(Further’ which should be ‘f’ not ‘F’.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
89
89
Review of Bite me  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I thought 300 word limit was hard, but 25 words must be excruciating. Still, I think you have done an excellent job. I know it was actually incredibly similar to an email exchange I had with the person who referred me to the site when I first encountered the b-item concept. When I got to the end of your piece, my first thought was ‘I’m not that bad, at least I know what a noob is’ lol

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
90
90
Review of Tidbits  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Obviously this is the beginning of a longer story. I think it is worth pursuing this concept to completion. I know I’m curious as to who exactly ‘he’ is, though I’m currently thinking it is someone stalking her for a darker purpose.

It is very hard to review shorter pieces, as they are less likely to miss common errors until the writer has spent more time with it. I would like to read this again when you have added to the piece.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
91
91
Review of The Creation  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I have always found the concept of time travel intriguing. I think this piece could be made a bit longer though, exploring the previous/current people and their relationship to each other. I think this will provide depth and rectify most of the issues I’m about to mention.

There are a few technical errors, which are easily fixed. As it stands they do not overpower the piece, but you will probably want to adjust them as you finish and polish the story. I’ll list some separate issues and provide an example or so of each, so you understand what I mean.

The first is something I seem to put in my reviews more often than anything else. When editing your document, you need to do two things. The first is to run it through a spell checker, this will pick up errors like ‘thinl’ and ‘wasa’.

After you have done that you also need to proof read your document. Not all errors are picked up by spell checking software, as the ‘wrong’ word maybe a word in its own right and therefore the program doesn’t see a spelling error. Many also ignore any errors in a word which begins with a capital letter or don’t realise a word is missing. Doing this will ensure that you pick up on ones like ‘This my inner desires and I saved myself’.

Make sure you keep track of any missing punctuation which may also be missed by the spell checker, for example ‘didnt’.

Double check the tenses you use. The story in its current form is flicking between past and current tense.

Some sentences don’t fully make sense, for example ‘This my inner desires and I saved myself’ which leads to a bit of confusion in your ending. However, I think this will rectify itself with a bit more character development and depth.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
92
92
Review of My Tree  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I found this piece oddly appropriate for an experience I had yesterday. While it didn’t involve snow it involved me asking myself ‘why oh why did I love this so much as a child?’

I would have liked a slightly better indication of his age. Obviously, he is now grown. But is he old enough to be in his own house or does he still live with his parents? Is he a father and, if so, what do his children do while this is happening?

The main thing I seem to put in all my reviews is that a person must do two things. The first is use a spell checker. This will ensure that you are able to fix errors such as ‘enreathed’.

After this, you need to proof read your document. One of the main problems with the majority of spell checking programs is that if a word is spelt incorrectly, but is a word in its own right it will not be recognised by the program as an error. Also, many programs do not recognise words with errors if the begin with a capital letter. Proof reading will then allow you to address errors such as ‘a chance adjust’ (where I believe the word ‘to’ is missing).

Some of the sentences do not fully make sense due to clumsy phrasing. For example, ‘but nobody came coming to help that person’.

Be careful repeating the same word within a short sentence span. It can lead to the feeling of repetition for the reader. For example, ‘gave her thanks and gave a kiss on the cheek’.

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
93
93
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Dialogue is something that I find incredibly difficult. I want to encourage you as I note this is the first time you have attempted it.

You have done well, each person is clearly distinguishable by the language in the comments, without losing that humorous feel to the overall piece.

Of course, as your confidence grows, you will find adding the ‘extra’ bits that add tone and expression to the words (he whispered playfully for example) becomes easier.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
94
94
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Very interesting description of someone hitting rock bottom. Many who do not have experience with addicts often believe rock bottom has to be an overdose. I’m glad to see that someone recognises that at times it is an emotional or spiritual one instead of always a near death experience.

There are a few technical errors, which are easily fixed. As it stands they do not overpower the piece, but you will probably want to adjust them as you polish the story. One of these is forgetting the apostrophe for ‘mothers love’.

While normally I tell people to be careful about using the same word in short word span to avoid the feeling of repetition, for some reason the frequency of ‘used to’ in the first paragraph still works.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
95
95
Review of Winterbirds  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
They know will blossom again

Try and ensure consistency with your tenses. For example, ‘whine and groaned’.

Some sentences don’t fully make sense, for example ‘They know will blossom again’ and it feels like it is missing a word.

Lastly, be careful about using the same word in short word span. It can make the reader feel like the sentences are repetitive. For example ‘she would look up’ shortly followed by ‘She would get up.’

You have a good use of imagery. Often people try to explain things in depth and get lost in the description, which disturbs the flow of the plot. While in one or two spots I thought there was a bit too much, overall you manage to use the description to evoke specific images in my mind.

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
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Review of Abe  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Some minor spelling and grammar errors, for example ‘him self’ shouldn’t have the extra space, nothing major and I’m sure you would pick them up if you read back over the piece.

The biggest thing I can recommend for when you continue writing is consistency of both formatting and content. For example, not all your paragraphs are space the same. Some have double return and others single. With regards to consistency of content, it is really only that on occasion you appear to have confused whether to use past/present/etc tense, for example ‘and his life is gone’.

Other than that, well done!


WDC POWER REVIEWERS
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97
Review of Til We Meet Again  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece is very emotional. Many of us have been in a similar situation with a loved one and experienced both the grief of their loss and yet the relief for the end of their suffering. I also like that you presented the main character’s faith as another aspect to her view of the death.

It appears you have utilised (or had no need to use) a spell checker. However, I recommend that after that, you also need to proof read your document. Not all errors are picked up by spell checking software, as the ‘wrong’ word maybe a word in its own right and therefore the program doesn’t see a spelling error. Many also ignore any errors in a word which begins with a capital letter. Doing this will ensure that you pick up on ones like ‘would open but no focus’.

Lastly, be careful about using the same word in short word span. It can make the reader feel like the sentences are repetitive. For example, ‘new body that would live forever. Her body now was empty.’

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
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98
Review of The Bird Tale  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Very well put together. I think it is beautifully worded and manages to be ecclesiastical without going to the point where a non-christian reader would feel ‘bible bashed’ due to the first person perspective.

Some minor grammatical errors, for example “heart was broke.”

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
99
99
Review of Up! Up! and...  
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This piece made me smile. I knew it would be a pet due to the notion of a UPS box supporting a person, yet it still managed to provoke the intended response.

No spelling or grammar errors that I can see.

It would have been nice to know the ages of the boys. Were they teens or adults? However, given the required brevity of the piece, I can understand why this wasn’t included.

Well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
100
100
Review by Talera
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I’m not quite sure how this piece leaves me. It is a snapshot into the life of a girl overcoming an obstacle, which is always nice. But at the same time it is a bit too brief to develop full empathy for the character unless the reader has gone through the same experience themselves.

There are a few technical errors, which are easily fixed. As it stands they do not overpower the piece, but you will probably want to adjust them as you finish and polish the story. I’ll list some separate issues and provide an example or so of each, so you understand what I mean.

The first is something I seem to put in my reviews more often than anything else. When editing your document, you need to do two things. The first is to run it through a spell checker. It looks like this is something you have already done.

After you have done that you also need to proof read your document. Not all errors are picked up by spell checking software, as the ‘wrong’ word maybe a word in its own right and therefore the program doesn’t see a spelling error. Many also ignore any errors in a word which begins with a capital letter. Doing this will ensure that you pick up on ones like ‘up in there head’.

There are a few basic grammatical errors, such as ‘couldn't read good’, but nothing major.

Other than that, well done!

WDC POWER REVIEWERS
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