This is a very lovely poem about a lost love. Very good job in expressing it. If you go this poem and correct small spelling and punctuation errors, your poem will be than it is now. Happy Writing!
I must admit that I'm not a fan of long stories, but yours captured my attention and kept it. This was a happy Christmas story. The only sad part was the "almost rape." I'm glad that you or your character wasn't raped, but I also like the way your story went from happy-to-sad-and-then-back- to- happy again. Keep up the good work.
This is a beautiful poem, but you have a lot of punctuation and some spelling errors. If you go over this poem and make the corrections, your poem will be better to read and received. Also, you should double space into bewteen each stanza. For example,
Memories of you trapped in my heart.
The way that you make me feel will forever be a part
of the way that I have been living.
I was constantly giving
everything that I had, but
it wasnt good enough, you got upset, got mad.
You broke me down in every possible way;
I used to wake up and hurt inside, every day.
You said no one will ever love me like you do
why did you do what you did if that were true?
Hurting my heart, messing with my head
killing me inside will all that you said.
Telling me "I was ugly, not worth anyone's time
no one else will want you, that's why you'r mine,"
and I believed you for a moment, then opened my eyes
saw all there was to see then realized.
You were insecure about yourself, and took it out on me
too bad I couldn't be who you wanted me to be.
I'm tired of dwelling on the past;
I've got someone new, and I think it has the potential to last,
but if not I won't do what I did with you and cry over the pain.
I'll simply wipe my slate clean and start over again.
Very good, but I didn't know if this was an actual experience or written about a fictional character. If you were speaking about a fictional character, you did very good in bringing this character to life. Keep up the good work!
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