I don't want to be too critical about this review, but how could the girl in the picture inside of the locket be this character's grandmother. You said that the grandmother had vanished just months ago, so that's means that she's still of girl age when you found the locket. I don't think that it's safe to refer to her as a girl. This term makes her sound like someone who's in her teens or like you and the grandmother are the same age. Other than that this was an interesting story and one that kept my attention.
This is a nice and interesting story, but you have a lot of grammar mistakes which makes your story loose some of its charm. If you fix them up, this will be one great story. Also I would like to know what happens next: your ending doesn't give the reader a clue as to what happens next. Good story though just need a little work. Happy writing!
I'm glad your dad got better, and hope that he's doing even better now or completly well. I'm sorry that Duelie and Roaster died, but glad that they were a part of helping you through this rough period. You did a good job in writing this story. It was experessed in clear, readable, and intelligent language. Happy writing!
I will not commentt on your reasoning for fear I might incriminate myself. one suggestion though, You have some spelling errors, and missing words. Your thought is good, and thought evoking, and the fact that you've written this shows that you can write. Happy writing!
This poem is very inspiring. It shows a decent human being, and the courage he or she had in helping which a rarity in today's time. I especially liked stanzas four and seven:
I'm able to see the stars behind dark clouds.
Encouraging me that dreams could come true...
And just keep my faith in you!
Because of you,
I'm able to love behind hatred.
Telling me to do the right things.
And forget everything.
Stanza four you spoke life and light, and in stanza seven you of love, and in my opinion how loving inspite of hate can cause one to do the right thing as-a-matter-of-fact the very reason that you was able to love in spite of the hate showed that you did the right thing.
I'm sorry that it turned out this way, but good poem. It's very powerful, and emotional to say the least: your pain for having married this person. I have heard stories about a people who have gotten married, and it turning out to be what you described in your poem. Somtimes these people were warned, and ignored the warning, and at other times (like you) they were totally deceived. Sometimes by the person himself or herself, or by their own heart.
Thank you for sharing the information about the spyware and adware software. Those ads can be annoying. I love writing.com. I never though that I would be writing poetry though on a web site. Thank you!
This was an absolutely well written story. It was exciting as well as thrilling! Your rhyme was good and the format was well structural. You bought your character to life in this one. She seem so real as well as the others.
I don't know about perceptions, but this is a lovely poem. You have written this one very well. Good flow and rhyme scheme. Very vivid descriptions of everything especially in the last two stanzas. Happy Writing!
I like your story, and hope that your ankle is better. One small suggestion, if you go through your work you'll find some spelling and punctuation errors. Other than that, good story! Happy writing!
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