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 |  My purging and some other crap - can be funny, most times without trying :-) |
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♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ Just to take the crap out of me and put it somewhere else for safekeeping. Gets heavy carrying it around. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** It's me, Summertime 2010. I'm pretty damn happy these days. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And yes.. this is my daughter, Devann Dev   . I am the luckiest Mom in the world. Can't get a new pic ... oh maybe I'll creep FB and steal one from there! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And our little slice of paradise. I still after 'four' years here can't believe how lucky I am. Come on over .. the door's always open ( heehee ) Thanks for stopping by. Cheers Check yourself, or I mean, it out
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Okay confession time to those who are not aware of this sordid side of myself... I have been an online 'dater' for ... akkk... over 10 years.  I'm really not sure why it's sooo damn hard to meet guys in the real world - I mean I work, I meet a ton of people at meetings, at conferences, at events ... gak everywhere! But I never seem to meet single guys or any that I'm attracted too .. very very weird. Anyway, online dating has been my social life on and off for years. I have dated some great guys from dating sites and some real jerks..... So I go on and look around, meet and date, get frustrated, so I go 'off' and then go back on and the cycle goes around and around. So let's see .. I've been 'off' since December 31st. I went cold turkey  And stayed off for a long time - well long time for me anyway. I can't help it ... I LOVE men and I do want to be in a relationship.... so I guess I sort of went back on a few weeks ago. Well that looks like keeping my profile hidden but just peaking in and then writing men who I think are interesting instead of putting my profile up and letting men contact me first. Sort of odd perhaps but the trouble is, that I see too many people I know through work etc online who I don't want to date and I feel weird if they see me online ... maybe that's messed up but anyway with the amount of times I am in the paper and the high profile work I'm doing lately I just don't want my picture up for the whole world to see.Soooo anyway the other week or so I saw this guy - pretty cute, interesting, funny, a libra like me - so I wrote him a very funny email. Welll the JERK looked at my profile then deleted my email without even reading it!!  I was soo pissed that I wanted to just send a note and put a one liner in the subject line .. yup .. you confirmed that all guys on here are jerks!!!BUT after long contemplation I took the high road and just let it go. WELL .. today in the conference I attended I sat next to this guy who was facilitating and we chatted and through the workshop I was talking to my work etc etc. I was kinda looking at him thinking he looked pretty hot and no ring and was wondering how old he was .. you know .. doing the not so obvious scoping him out ! so that was that ... I left and tonight went online just now and saw the profile again of this JERK who deleted my email and I thought ..hmmmmmmm... he looks familiar. So when I looked more closely I realized .. OMG .... it was the dude from the conference!!! Well I have so been cracking up for like 20 mins. Then I did a very very very bad thing and wrote him again I said something like - gosh you never know who you'll meet in real life who you've seen in 'here'. I almost wrote you a one liner saying that you confirmed to me that online guys are jerks .... then lo and behold we meet up again today (I actually met him last year but didnt remember til he mentioned it today) Then I said .. gosh you didn't seem like a jerk in person ! Then I wished him luck and ... yah!I pressed the send before I really thought it through clearly ... dumb dumb dumb ... we are probably doing to end up working together on a mapping project through work - but I didn't think that all the way through before I sent that note !! Oh well - he hasn't read it yet and if he deletes it .. I will have the last laugh that's for sure. Men ... can't figure them the hell out at ALL!!! so that's my saga for tonight .. I'll tell you about the other dude with the mansion and the Porsches and holey pants that my kids are MAKING me date ... another day For now - it's another Friday night with my teddy and a movie. Go cuddle with your significant other tonight and be grateful.  bugzy |
| Today I took the day off work to take Devann and a few amazing little gals to their school soccer tournament in Victoria. They played yesterday too, but taking two days off work just about made me have a coronary so we compromised and I car-pooled today. Lucky for me ... as yesterday absolutely poured rain. I was a bit excited. Other than yesterday, I have somehow managed to go watch every game. Mind you it was a very short season, but Dev for some reason really wanted me to watch - so I did. sometimes I was emailing so much I missed a few key plays .. but Dev didn't seem to notice So we packed up the necessary provisions, jumped in the car, picked up a couple gals and headed down to the game. I had to ask another mom for directions (which I suck at) but we managed to find the school no problem. GNS it was called - meant nothing to me. And as soon as we arrived the girls had to go to the washroom to get changed, so I tagged along (two large cups of tea that morning already) Without sharing all details, on the back door of the washroom stall was a poster. I read it with great interest, since it was all about some sort of environment conference that had been held at the school in February. I read all the info and then at the very bottom to my immediate shock and surprise this school name was listed as Glen Lyon Norfolk House School My mouth fell open and I practically screamed to Devann .. this was MY school! Only it wasn't exactly MY since it was just Norfolk House. But my brother's school was Glen Lyon!!! They were two separate private schools when we went .. one for boys and one for girls. So somehow in the past 37 years they amalgamated and it was now co-ed!! Well I was all excited and freaking out telling Devann all about it... to which she could NOT have cared less and just kept telling me to keep it down! I couldn't stop thinking about it and looking all over the hallways and at the kids and was just a bubble! Of course it was not the same location - this school was way newer. Our old schools were in incredibly old, historic, almost castle like buildings from what I could remember. This school was brand new, with an astro-turf soccer field that no doubt cost about four times the price of my house. Then as we walked back over to her teammates, all of a sudden I completely fell apart. I was immediately transported back 37 years to grade eight. My sister (who died now seven years ago) was our 'mom' at that time. She drove us the 45 miles from our home to the school. She was in Grade 12 and on the field hockey team. She was very beautiful, popular, and everyone loved her. It was like in one mili-second I was that small 12 year old child, sitting in the back seat of the jeep being driven to school and I was instantaneously consumed with such a deep sadness that I could not contain my tears. I tried hard to keep looking away, but I cannot remember when I felt so completely consumed by such a deep emotion. I had to tell Dev that I would be right back and I walked to the car. As I was waiting to cross the street, she came running over as she sensed something was wrong. I couldnt' stop the tears ... I told her that I was just thinking of my sister and that I was just missing her so much. Dev was sweet ... giving me hugs and telling me it was okay. I so didn't want to distract her from her game, so I just said I'd be okay in a minute and that I was just going to sit in the car for a few minutes. I cried and cried and I can't explain how I felt. In fact, just lately I was thinking how that I just don't seem to 'attach' to people or animals, or places, or homes, or jobs, or stuff, or boyfriends or anything ... when things or people leave my life I may be sad for a bit, but somehow I just move on. I was worried a few days ago that there was something wrong with me. I hardly ever think of my sister anymore. I barely think of my Dad either. I don't miss very much or very many people. Michael, my ex, told me once that I have bonding issues due to my Mom abandoning me at nine years old and I always thought he was full of shit ... but more and more lately I have wondered about that. But today, it was like years of not missing my sister just came flooding back like a damn Tsunami and I just couldn't (and can't) believe how intense that feeling was. I just had to write this out ...I'm crying now again as I think of earlier today and in some weird way it makes me feel a little bit better about myself thinking that I did and am missing her today. Nothing would have made me happier to talk to her about our old school ... now being co-ed, the changes in uniforms, the ugly new building, the outrageously expensive astro-turf. My memories of her. I miss her. bugzy |
| Okay I know .. so due to prompting here is a quickie list of five... 1 - Working like a devil and then some. It's very amazing really, so much is coming together and it's all good. I'm just exhausted though and feeling like I am constantly juggling like a zillion balls and no end in sight. I have a couple of new projects starting and doing interviews tomorrow but that will mean more work getting people up to speed and getting that underway... but what can you do? One dude is living in Mexico and he has been working on several community projects all over the world (he's from here) and he just sounds amazing .. and way smarter than me. I always said never hire someone smarter than yourself but this other dude I was talking to yesterday said that was all wrong ... always hire smarter people then you can sit back and not do any work! Damn .. and here I was doing that all wrong before!! So I'm hoping that interview goes well so we can get started. Other than that, 3 grants on the go right now, several intense committees, two new possible pilot projects, and never mind the usual day to day stuff. And our huge conference in June which is really coming together and will be super super amazing ... so yah ... way too much.2 - I LOVE my kayak .. who needs a man when I've got my Necky. In spite of crazy working and driving Devann to after school soccer games ... every night this week I have managed to hop in the kayak and go for a spin. I'm going farther and farther all the time - tonight I went way the hell out to the point and back. My arms are killing me, but it feels good and makes up for the 3 take out meals I had on the run today! And I'm going swimming at the local pool 2 mornings a week still, so that is some stress relief at least. 3 - Nothing new on my family/brother sit at the moment. Got some more court papers a couple of days ago so things are proceeding and not much I can do to stop any of it, so I'm just letting it go through the process and just waiting at this moment. I didn't call my mom for her birthday this year .. probably the first birthday I've missed in 30 years but ... I just can't connect with any of my family at this point. It would involve a conversation that would eventually lead up to my brother and I just dont want to talk about it with anyone - they will get so angry at him and it will just cause more angst ... so not going there! 4 - My love life still sucks (see 1 and 2) The one guy I was sorta seeing who went away for a few months working was supposed to come back may 10 and now that's been pushed back, so mean as it sounded, I just told him that I wasn't going to sit here for the indeterminate amount of time since I wasn't that hot on him anyway .. he took it well. And it's not like they are beating down the doors, but I don't want my energy tied up with someone I really don't have a connection with anyway ... so yah... that's it there. 5 - Darla .. well after a lot of angst, tears, discussion, stress, and anxiety, we found Darla a new home. She is with a family who live on one acre of fenced property on a lake near by. They have two big dogs, two fat cats, and two kids. They both are home full time and they love her. So there are moments when both Dev and I miss her, but there are way more times when I think .. oh thank god she is not here. Like yesterday when I had a four meeting two hours away and I have no idea what I would have done with her all that time. So I'm trying to let go of the guilt of it all and just allow that she is in a way better situation than being in my office or in my car all the time. Okay that's all the downtime I have for now ... back to grant writing and prepping for interviews tomorrow .. long night ahead yet. Hope you are all okay .. I'm sorry for not being around. I'll try to visit a few more blogs this weekend. I'm planning on taking a bit of time off, sleeping and kayaking for sure!! Happy Friday everyone!! Lots of hugs!! bugzy |
| I'm not a huge user of youtube. Usually only if someone from here posts a link, but this morning I was all over it! I spent a couple of hours watching how to roll in a kayak. I learned a lot and even practiced rolling around in my bed and out of bed as it turns out! Well hey, gotta have some fun in bed alone here! I was pretty nervous to go out today actually. Those rolls look tricky. I avoided watching the ones with 'so and so does a roll and dies'. I figured those wouldn't do much for my self confidence. Anyway, after procrastinating and finding all sorts of things to do to avoid finally going out again, I just decided to go do it. I had Dev watch me get into my kayak - putting the skirt on first. I think that was why I dumped the last time, cause my kayak got filled up with water. I had no troubles getting in and setting out to the big sea. I decided to just go paddle around my little bay and not go out to the open water. It was pretty rough today, too rough for the canoe. But it was low tide so that turned out to be a great advantage, as I paddled around and around and it was only about one foot of water. I felt pretty smug practicing turns and wiggling around when I could see the bottom. I was out for an hour or so thinking of all the paddling techniques I'd learned on youtube and all in all it was fun. I'm feeling a lot more confident and can't wait to go out again. Not this week coming up I'm afraid, with board meetings tomorrow and Thursday and something else Wednesday night, I forget. But by Friday - look out! I'm going for a swim before work tomorrow and my bag is already packed and I'm pretty stoked. I like it when I get hooked on exercising - it takes me awhile to get into it, but I'm happy that I'm finally going to deal with this excess poundages. Ohhh and I bought these little solar lights for the back dock. It's always been pitch black out there, with no outlet or lights. So I put 6 little lights into the pot plants and now that it's dark I keep peaking outside to see them. They are fabulous and I'm soooooooo happy. Silly how stuff like that makes me all bouncy. Well, off to hang with Dev and watch another movie ..... hope you all have a great week. Yipppeee only four days to go til the weekend for me. Gosh I can't wait. Lots of hugs to you all, bugzy |
WOW .. this whole entry was LOST! Phewf ... thank goodness from backspace, backspace, backspace!!! I was wondering where everyone went  So here we go... my recovered entry from yesterday that I forgot to save! Ta da ....... Well I've been on the quest for quite some time to get a kayak. This will be my third year coming up that I've had my canoe - and although I LOVE it and go out as much as I can, it's always just been a stepping stone to finally realizing my dream of owning a kayak. Without further adieu I present ..... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** She's a 16' Necky (kinda appropriate name don't you think? ) I've been on the classfieds for awhile and even posted on FreeCycle (hey you never know!) And yesterday when I was having a very luxurious two hours lunch at my favorite cafe - hey it was my day OFF! - I read in the paper, that the Kayak Adventure place down the way from me was selling all their rentals. So I got there right spot on at 10am this morning and was there for over two hours. There was only about 10 kayaks there to choose from but I just couldn't decide if this was one of those purchases that I would kick myself for afterwards. Of course, it was more money than I wanted to spend but he threw in the skirt, paddle, pump, throw rope, and lifejacket AND delivered it right to my dock ... so yikes. I just did it. I looked at it for hours, while I was outside cleaning up my garden and planting all my plant pots BRIGHT YELLOW!  and finally around 4pm, I went and got Rosie and asked her to help me try to get in it. I spent some time trying to get in and out on the dock, adjusting the rudder pedals and I knew I was in trouble. My butt barely fit in that silly thing (I'm going for a swim after this! At least I have even more incentive to lose this ass!!) So Rosie came over and we got it in the water no problem and I even got into the kayak no problem. But I knew getting out was going to be a whole new ball game. So after a few false starts and trying different techniques, I tipped her! By that time I had three neighbours all watching and I'm just glad no one had their cell phones handy. I yelled at Rose to come and grab me and at the last second, I managed to get my whits back and right the kayak before I landed completely in the water. The cockpit was full and man oh man that was COLD!!!!! Somehow I managed to crawl out after that but it took three of us to get the kayak out and to empty the water. But you know me, not to be deterred, I jumped ... okay that's exaggerating slightly ... I very slowly and gently lowered myself back into the kayak. This time, upon everyone's urging I went for a little paddle just around our little inlet. It was really windy and I was still wet and freezing, so I didn't want to go far. I did get the hang of the whole rudder thing AND I saw an Seal!! So, when it was time to disembark again, I took my time, used some good ole fashioned strategic planning and hoisted myself out and onto the dock super duper easy! I'm one happy camper I'll tell you. I can't wait til tomorrow to go out again. I'm going now to head for a swim before I pick up Devann from her sleepover. She was PISSED when I told her ... ohhh and that takes me back to my title of this entry. I just kept thinking all day long how the one advantage of this day was being single. I didn't have to ask anyone else if it was okay to spend that money. I didn't have to ask anyone else if I wanted to paint all my planter pots a BRIGHT YELLOW! As I was remembering when I lived with tyrant Michael I had wanted to paint some planter pots and he said nooooo... it would have to be repainted every year and so he didn't want that maintenance. Well now, HAH... I was a painting machine today ... yellow, yellow, yellow everywhere! And I LOVE it!! I'll post another pic when it's all done and tidied up. Well there you have it. I had a great day yesterday and an even better one today and I still have two days holidays! Yippppeeee!!! Hope you're all having a great long weekend too. bugzy |
| Well it was another busy one here. I am laying here at 7pm on Sunday and I'm exhausted. It's all I can do to force myself to stay awake and NOT take a nap, because that will ruin my sleep tonight. So I'm going to throw up a quickie here, have a shower, tidy the kitchen, then hopefully enough time will have passed to call it a night. I have a headache and know that my neck is all out of whack. And I think I'm getting grumpy too ... *looks around* ... yup I'm definitely getting grumpy. Which I shouldn't be really. I did have a good weekend. Yesterday we were up early for an eye appointment for Devann, then soccer stuff shopping, then lunch, then a grueling five hours on garden cleanup. One of our projects is a Community Garden and it was not managed well last year, so quite a few beds were just left to get weedy, so I enlisted a few worker bees and 5 1/2 hours later we went from this .... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** to this ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I was pretty near dead by the time we were done, so I decided to go to the new local community swimming pool and do something I have not done in ages - I went for a swim! Wow .. that was pretty amazing. The new pool is darn right swanky .. so I did 30 or so laps, hung in the hot tub with the super duper jets pelting into my killing back and came out of there a new woman. I'm going to 'try' to find an hour every few days to go there - not sure how, but I really need to do more of that 'take care of me' crap I am always preaching to everyone else. Today meant picking up Devann from her sleep over, doing an interview for a story and then writing two articles tonight. AND editing a book for my son .... who has also picked up the writing torch and damn is he good. He has set up all sorts of websites and is a writing machine. I've sent him a whole bunch of my career column articles and he's going to post them on his site now too. I'll send the links when they're all up and running. Oh here's a whammy on top of everything else. Little Miss Devann confessed today to smoking pot last night at a party ... long sigh .... She told me in that .. now don't get mad, because you asked me to tell you if I ever smoked ... so I'm telling you....thing. Of course, I remained unbelievably calm and managed to keep the car between the yellow and the white line while I asked for the details, not wanting to know. She had one puff, said she was hyper but she said she was hyper regardless. She had been drinking .. sigh... and said it didn't make much difference. She did text me last night twice and called just to say hi and that she loved me ... it's so hard, because on one hand she is such a sweet, innocent little girl who I think I've coddled too much ... but she is also becoming older and more independent and it's that time where it's a hard balance between letting go and shutting her in a closet. More interesting times ahead ... and lots more sighing to come. Okay well that passed a few minutes. Time to shower and tackle the kitchen. Long week, even though it's a short week, coming up with meetings Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday night with a zillion deadlines. I'm counting down til Easter weekend already (to which my stepmonster better not even TRY to plan a family get together!) Well hang in there all and here's to at least a sunny week ahead. Hugs to you all bugzy |
| Two and a half hours later ... about six phone calls, including two hang ups (not me) and zillion of aeroplan points later ... and a slight hangover Devann and I have two tickets on the milk run on February 25, 2010 to fly to St Lucia (where is that anyway? ) to go to my son's wedding. We're going for two weeks and even if Drew ditches the wedding these non refundable tickets are getting used regardless! Drew told me too that he is going if the wedding's cancelled so regardless ... there is gunna be some serious partying that's gunna happen! We don't have a hotel or anything and apparently they are super crazy expensive but don't you know that my ex facebooked dude's parents happen to have a house down there on the water that is up for sale for $1.2 million (yikes) but to which Mr ex facebooked dude has offered to let us use as it's only 15 minutes away from where the wedding is going to be ... isn't that a coincidence? Staying there for free might involve having to sleep with Mr ex facebooked dude but like Drew said to me today .. "Mom, it's not like you didn't do that before!" Man he cracks me up. This is gunna be one hellava holiday. I sure can't wait! 329 more sleeps ! |
| Damn it all anyway ... I had FULL intentions of blogging a full month. I read that Thomas pu ou .. damn 't' keeps sicking .. i mean sticking ... damn t's ... okay .. um yah blue month challenge. I was all over hat ... damn it i mean that.... and here it is after the witching hour and I missed April 1st already so I'm doomed. Crap Oh well ... I'm also a little dunrk I mean drunk, so it probably isn't a good idea o blog .. damn i .. it... to blog .. damn iT.. grrr. ITs the keyboard noT the beer okay!! sheesh Anyway I have nothing o.. grr To say anyway really. I invited myself tonight to the monthly Cowichan Agriculture Society meeting .. which is he ..The farmer dudes local society meeting. I had a couple of ideas to alk ... grrr Talk to them about AND my neighbour Mr politician dude was on the agenda, so I thought hey .... we can car pool. So we did. And it was a great meeting .. they loved my ideas for a funding projec ... projecT we can do together, so I'm stoked. And I found out after every meeting they go to the bar So I signed up as a member and went to the bar and drank a LOT with a bunch of old bald, grumpy farmers and it was super fun! Luckily I looked over after a couple of beers and noticed my politically correct car pooler was drinking tea (pansy ass) so that was license to keep chugging and getting a ride home! The farmer dudes had a great chuckle about reading the paper tomorrow about a blond chick driving into the ocean and drowning the local political candidate. Needless to say he took away my keys as soon as we left the bar Party pooper!Anyway, it was great fun to just go and hang out. It's been awhile and I certainly plan on attending these meetings every month! I think I'll institute a post meeting bar agenda for my board meetings too. Hey I might actually get people to show up if we do that! Well I'm pissed I already lost the Thomas blue challenge but hey.. it's the thought that counts.Six am comes early so I better go pass out now ... nie ....grrr.. niTe all bugz |
| Here we go ... ahem... 1 - I have a HUGE goose egg on my noggin! We moved stuff around in the office the other day, and so I moved to the back part of the office and now I have a WHOLE big desk to myself ... wahoo! I used to sit out front in the store part on a couch, which was kinda nice, but now I can spread out and hide from folks too! But anyway, someone came into the office, so I pushed back my wheeley chair and the wheel got stuck or something and I flipped right back and whacked my head on the desk behind me. Lucky that desk owner was out or I might have landed in her lap and she's 7 1/2 months pregnant and that would NOT have been good. I was laughing (amidst the screams of pain) and it turned out to be our next door neighbour who happened to be a massage therapist. So she came to my rescue and gave me an ice pack while I laid on the floor for 15 minutes. But now I feel like I have whiplash or something and headache number two is on its way here. Must have been a pretty sight to see me flip ... where's that webcam when you need it?? 2 - Finished a grant proposal that was due today by midnight pacific time and I got it in a whole nine hours early!! It's for a whopping $55,000 to help fund our Car Share Co-op. It was a super tricky one and meant the last two nights I was up until 2am, but it's done and it's pretty damn good if I say so myself. But the funny thing was, JUST as I was having one last look at the budget spreadsheets to make sure they balanced, this dude comes in the office (I did not push my chair away from my desk too fast that time ... thank goodness, cause he's a cutie pie!!) ANYway - he came it to offer a donation of a car for the co-op!!! Seems a friend died and the family wanted to donate the car to a good cause so he told them about us and they said they wanted to do that! It meant a super quick rewrite of the budget to say we now had one donated car ... but it was worth it. A half an hour later, and the grant would have been sent off ... isn't that superb?3 - We FINALLY got word that the seven hundredth rewrite of one grant was approved today again. Phewff ... that rewrite was super tricky too. So that's one stress over, just one more reworking of the matching grant to go and that project will be a good. We are going to build a new community garden and expand an old one and get going on offering a whole whack of gardening workshops, so I'm excited. That will be a great project! 4 - Neighbour fix it dude came on Sunday and did more work on Dev's room. So the windows are all encased and the trim is up AND curtains!! Woot!! We didnt get the baseboards in, or the gutters, or the hose splitter thingy, or the sliding glass door fixed, or the lights put in properly .. but hey. Beggars can't be chosers. He might not be moving to the mainland yet, so he might be able to come back next weekend - so you never know. My house might actually get finished after all! I painted all the doors - (a certain Mr Cheezie Fat Pants likes to want INside my room when the door is closed then want OUTside my room when the door is closed .. so I painted my room door, the bathroom door, the front door, around the bathroom toilet and cupboards and it all looks sooooo nice and fresh and clean. I am LOVING my house even more than usual!5 - Dev joined the soccer team today! She is not a sporty gal, so I was not surprised when I got a text at my meeting tonight .... I can't do this! But, by the time we met up later, she was all a buzz. After the initial shock of running laps, she got to liking kicking the ball around and doing sporty stuff so she is all fired up to go cleat shopping tomorrow. I have a funny feeling she saw a cute goalie or something. Did you know they do co-ed soccer nowadays? Sheesh they didn't do that when I was in school! hmmmm... wonder if I could find a co-ed game somewhere? Okay .. well that's 5 and my head still hurts. Gunna shower than get some sleep for a change. Next grant is not due until April 22 - hell that AGES away! Hope you're all having a good week bugzy |
| I've been writing for a Canadian magazine since September 2006. It's been a great paying job (75 cents a word) and it was my first real paying gig and set me on the quest to becoming a fulltime writer, which I was for quite some time - not enough $ to pay the bills mind you - but I called myself that regardless. The editor was very challenging to work with - constant rewrites and rewrites and many times the frustration levels were high, but when the magazine came out, I was always very proud. Initially in the summer of 06, we chatted for months on the possibility of me working for her as her assistant editor. I was totally pumped about that, and we kept talking about it for 2 more years actually. Her reason for never coming through was lack of money. Then last summer I noticed a position of assistant editor on the website with another person's name. She had been dangling the carrot of that job for two years and gave it to someone else without telling me....not nice. I wrote her and told her my complete astonishment - she apologized, but I really felt that was unprofessional. Well the last article I wrote was for the Winter 2008 issue. Usually I'm assigned my topic for my Eco-Life column about two months before the magazine comes out - it's quarterly. In January I hadn't heard from the editor, so I wrote her. She was also a friend of mine too, btw, for years prior. I wrote her again in February and then I got that gut feeling, I was going to be fired. I checked the website a few weeks ago and noticed a press release saying they were 'revamping' their look and noticed a staff change as well ... the assistant editor was someone different. I had an even greater inclination that I would not be writing for them anymore. I facebooked her and lo and behold she was there, so I added her as a friend and wrote her yet another note asking about the magazine and my column. .... no answer. Tonight, sucker for punishment, I just looked at the site and yup ... there was the gal who had become the assistant editor (who was not listed as the assistant editor any more btw) had her name on the column I have been writing since its inception. Sigh. I'm too busy for that gig right now anyway. I know the last article was a huge challenge to get finalized and the constant rewrites could have been my fault as I was so busy at work I didn't have the time to put into it like I used to - but regardless - her conduct is unprofessional and unjustifiable. I just wrote her my last email to her editor email at the magazine (we always wrote to our personal emails) and just said I saw the issue. It looks great as usual and I noticed someone else wrote my column. I did tell her how unprofessional I felt that was and I wished her luck but would not be in contact with her again. Disappointed. That's what I am. And hurt. I really don't give a rats ass about writing for her anymore anyway - but she should have told me. That was just really shitty of her. She preaches a big story on her spirituality ... I'm just going with karma on this one. Here's the magazine link if you want to look. http://www.healthandlifestyle.ca/Lifestyle/Ecolife.aspx I've written alot of articles over the years, not just Eco-life - which is in the lifestyle section. But I've been replaced ... pish on her. bugzy |
| Hmm well blogging is obviously winning for now. I did work for the past couple of hours tonight but my brain is in overdraft okay I meant overload but overdraft sounds pretty right on too!! I'm liking the list o' 5 theme, so I'm sticking to that. 1 - Dev's room update - many sore backs and painted body parts later and it's mostly done. The neighbour handy dude is going to come this weekend to put up the trim around the windows and baseboards, then I'll hang the curtains, THEN I'll take pics. But we bought a new dresser and a new vanity table from the junk store and it all looks great. For the first time since we've moved here she actually has all her clothes put away!! Woot! 2 - Work is beyond insane and pretty much worse since I took 3 days off last week. But I'm kinda getting caught up. Bad news, I've had to write back 3 times for 2 grants (one more to go tonight still) and those have been incredibly painful. But they're worth $70,000 so I have to keep at it. I was on TV last night but I forgot to go to a neighbour's to watch so I missed me Thursday is another interview for another feature for the community garden project so I'll make sure to watch that one!3 - Facebooked ex dude - I don't know. I've decided not to let him see this link for now. It's a good and bad thing. I have some crap I need to say in here that I probably don't want him to see and I don't want to watch my words like I have done in the past - this is MY personal venting place and I don't feel like sharing it. Does that sound odd? I have been going back in forth about this reconnection with him as it is. I really can't decide if it's a good thing or not. We had a rather bad split up 7 years ago and it's been really nice to talk and heal that for sure, but I'm thinking he wants to reconnect on a whole other level and I don't think that's such a good idea. Here we go with a guy who live 4500 kilometers away and has a company, 2 kids (18 and 23) that he still supports, still pays the mortgage for the ex-wife etcetc. So I am no way in hell moving back to Toronto and don't see anything letting up for him and do I really want to get back with a guy that I obviously had good reasons for breaking up with 7 years ago? Probably not. Yah ... I think I need to blog on this more and sort this out. 4 - My brother and his goddamn crap - well I really don't want to go into a lot of details in this space, but now court proceedings have started so it seems. I was served papers yesterday and that was extremely traumatizing. It seems there is nothing I can do at this point, but allow the process to continue as it will and hope that all will turn out okay in the end. This is very stressful and I really don't honestly know even with my rather large capacity to forgive that I will be able to get past this one and what he has done to me. This is affecting me very seriously and the fact that he won't speak to me in person since Christmas to try and help resolve all this crap and that he would jeopardize me and Devann and possibly even have the effect of us losing our home is just beyond reproach. I can't believe that I can even write this calmly but other than moments of complete breakdowns, I am for the most part trying to remain calm. One thing that has been a positive is the moral support that Facebooked ex dude has been. He has been involved in this sort of legal problem before and has been very sweet and supportive and helping me cope with the stress and fear of it all. I only hope this resolves soon as I need to deal with it and move on. I don't plan on spending any holidays with my brother anytime soon that's for sure. Thank God we are no where near Christmas or birthdays. The next one is Devann's in July and his too actually and he can go to hell before I'll acknowledge his birthday. And since he promised Devann a car for her last birthday (which has never materialized) he better not even bother with any bullshit promises for her this year. Anyway ... I want to blog more about this whole thing another day - but suffice to say, it wears heavily on my mind and heart these days. 5 - The rest of my life - wow .. I realized I don't have much else going on with my life. Work has become very consuming again .. damn it anyway. I don't socialize much really right now. I work, I come home, I work. I did do a lot of work on the house the past week. Rearranging my living room, cleaning everything! Rearranging my bedroom and overall, the house looks really lovely and I am truly blessed to have such a peaceful and inspiring place to crawl to at the end of the day. So I am very grateful for that solace in my life. And I did go for a canoe the other day after work - it was chilly but it helps so much with my peace of mind, I am looking forward to warmer, calmer seas to get out more. That makes me happy. Okay .. well need to work for a bit more here. So thanks for listening to my crap. And I do miss it here and hope you're all well. Sending hugs to you all bugz |
| 1 - During this painting/listening to Dev's music last few days she played a remix of an old disco tune - yes I was a complete disco slut - go Sister Sledge!!! - when I told Dev about our old disco days (well not ALL about it she thought that was the coolest. Today, she said, "I'm so jealous of your disco days, we don't have anything fun like that anymore! You're so cool!" 2 - Remember when Party said about your bed being positioned in a certain spot - I forget what he said - maybe it had something to do with getting luckier or something . Well in the midst of gutting Devann's room, I decided hell I might as well rearrange the whole living room and while I'm add it, move my bedroom stuff around too. Can't move stuff too far in a 500sq ft house but I did! So my bed is now facing some obscure direction - not sure which way. I'm surrounded by ocean on all sides and the oddest thing is that every time I wake up in the night I'm disoriented and forget where I am. I think I better move my bed back against a wall or something, I might go overboard when I'm not looking!3 - The dock/car fixer dude is NOT creating any sparks - well except when he didn't rehook the alternator up completely and installed the battery and zapped himself good . Sorry for you romantic types .... but he is fairly hilarious as he talks AND sings to himself CONSTANTLY and I mean CONSTANTLY when he's working. Funny for the first 3 hours!4 - Now the ex-boyfriend dude in Toronto who facebooked me (watch for that word to hit a Webster's dictionary near you soon) is another story. Stay tuned and for god's sake be nice - he wants the link to my blog.  Might have to edit a few entries So if he's lurking around I expect all of you to be on your best behaviour! 5 - Great news ... my excema is 99.9% gone!! See what eating or not eating anything can do for you. Last night we cheated and had pizza (super yum), and I mean REAL pizza with wheat crust and REAL cheese - not that spelt crust crap I've had. AND REAL beer (ok I never gave that up) and this morning I tentatively did a spot check and all is still good! Phewf. To be on the safe side I did make wheat-free/dairy free pancakes for breakfast - go figure. I know - sounds putrid and for the most part they were, but anything with real maple syrup tastes damn yum. Okay the slave paint driver upstairs is yelling at me to get back to work .. so on I go. Gosh I'm liking this time off work Have a great day all, bugzy |
| The other day I received an honorarium at work for something I did a month or so back for another organization. I sort of remember them mentioned that, but I didn't think much of it. So when I received the cheque in the mail I was all stoked about it. First, I gave each of the two gals that are working with me now $50 each. They get paid crap wages and although that wasn't much money, I was happy to share with them even a little something. The rest of the money I knew I'd have to use to fix my poochy dock. A few weeks ago, it totally busted (again) on a particularly windy day and it was getting to that critical stage of taking my life in my hands every single trip in and out of my front door so I knew I had to do something to get it fixed (again). My neighbour Rosie mentioned to me that another neighbour was out of work and quite desperate for money and she told me to ask him if he'd fix it because he only charges $15 per hour. I had asked him a couple of days ago and he said sure, on Monday he would come over and fix it if I ordered the wood, which I did. Well when my car pooched - and I'll admit that I managed to say relatively calm - I thought, I wonder if the dock fixing dude was also a car fixing dude, so I called him last night. He said sure enough he was a car fixing dude and he'd be right over to have a look Long story short - it was the alternator, a new one picked up with Rosie's borrowed car to the tune of $160 and one hour's labour $15 - we're on the road again Then, seven more hours later through the pouring rain, hail, and sun, the dock is super duper fixed - better than it's ever been and I am one happy camper!!!! Dev and I spent most of the day painting her room and it's starting to look amazingly cool - chocolate brown walls with a turquoise blue trim! It sounds fairly gross but I think it will look great - I'll post a pic when we're done. Well I'm need to crash now - my back and feet and shoulders and neck and wrists are ALL screaming out how much they hate painting! So sleep I'm in need of. Thanks for all your sighs and sympathy pains for the car .... hopefully my bad car karma is over now. OHHHH I almost forgot to share the coolest news of all .... the car/dock/fixing dude, after three months of no work got a job today!! He had given his notice to move out of his float house, his girlfriend who he was engaged to dumped him last month, he is totally carless as his died last month too and he was pretty destitute and NOW he has a job again!! I really have NO clue and can take NO credit for anything, but somehow after we had a chat standing over the hood of my car last night when he was pretty down, I just said to him how much he was a blessing to me and how when one door closes another one opens ... and then poof another HUGE one opened for him today and I'm thrilled for him Yup... it was a good day after all. Good night... hugs to you all bugz |
| My new-to-me car died last night. Yup. I think I'm cursed. It was sorta freakishly fun driving with all the dash board lights blinking off and on like a fireworks party ~ well until the power steering and brakes pooched. Off to get a dude to tow it to a shop in town. Hoping at least the tow-dude is cute. I'm thinking that scooter idea is getting better again ~ snow or no snow! I'll be back bugz |
| http://www2.canada.com/cowichanvalleycitizen/news/story.html?id=b364852a-ae42-43... http://www2.canada.com/cowichanvalleycitizen/news/opinion/story.html?id=bae407e7... http://www2.canada.com/cowichanvalleycitizen/news/living/story.html?id=a3bd257b-... And that was just yesterday! Today I'm in another paper but it's not online yet. Someone used the term 'media whore' the other day! I'm liking it! Have a great weekend folks - I'm off an running today! Then taking a few days off work next week to paint and clean Devann's room Wish me luck! I think I'd rather be at work!! Cheers!! bugz |
| It's a blog of five! 1- Finally got my internet at home fixed after procrastinating on that one for weeks - new modum and all ready to go again. 2 - Finally got a new-to-me-car. Scooters dont work so well in the snow and as much as it seemed like a good idea to live car-less - not really practical. 3 - Work is still super duper and getting better all the time. We received a $5000 sponsorship today to put towards our big environment conference we're having in June - so that was very exciting news. 4 - Another old beau connected with me on Facebook and it's been a really lovely past few days just talking. There's something about having history with someone, not having to explain things, you can just be yourself, they know who you are, remember stuff that happened years ago, and it's just been very comforting for me right at this moment in time. I'm grateful for that. 5 - I highly recommend watching a movie called Food Matters if you can find it. I bawled my eyes out watching it last week. It's about food and the way it affects our bodies, the medical industry, the power of vitamins on health etc. I thought of my sister dying and I know we can't go back, but I had an overpowering sense of ... if I knew then what I know now. I so would have done things differently for her - insisted on juicing, eating 100% raw food etcetc. Because of this excema nonsense I've been having, I'm completely organic and edging back to a mostly raw food diet myself. I just can't tell you what kind of affect that movie had on me. This link takes you to an option for online viewing for $5 - well worth the money. (ps my excema is almost completely gone with NOOOO medical intervention ... just a strict diet of no dairy, soy, or wheat http://www.foodmatters.tv/_webapp/View%20Film%20Online Well long day coming up ... just wanted to pop over and do a quick update. I'm taking a few days off next week, so I hope I can come around and catch up with you all. Be happy and eat a carrot! |
| I seriously gotta learn to just say NO! I just got home about half an hour ago. I worked my usual full 9 hour day, then went into a four hour Environment Commission meeting. I voluntarily applied to be on that committee and it was quite a buzz to be chosen over the dozens of applicants AND be the only token girl AND the token little environmental non-profit little 'greenie' person. The rest of the 15 male members are all big wigs in the whole 'corporate' environmental racket, including head cheeses at BC Hydro and City Mayors and Municipal Area Directors. I was quite taken aback when I got hired on when I saw the 'list.'So after being requested to relay my dietary requests - at least they feed us - I, of course, was also the token vegetarian, non dairy, non wheat, (can it be local and organic too? ) eating person. I noticed everyone else ate the chicken (they missed the vegetarian aspect of my request - so I had the rice and cauliflower .. sheesh)But after the daunting round table introductions, I basically spent the majority of the next three hours not knowing what the hell they were talking about. Let's just say there were a lot of acronyms and corporate speak and I think I've really gone waaaaay over my head on this one. I kept my head down for the most part, except the odd joke here and there - which some appreciated and some obviously wondered why the hell I was there .... but I did get nominated to the Agricultural Planning Sub-committee, which I totally was NOT going to put up my hand for - but some kind soul just said I should be on it and motioned to the minute taker (oh .. another gal) to put my name down. I kinda screwed up my face but that was not mentioned in the minutes. So that's yet another meeting I'll get to attend to talk about God only knows. Maybe growing carrots - that I can understand! As an aside - One of my board members stopped by my house yesterday to give back my parking pass I had left in her car (I borrowed her Smart Car while she was away on a conference - super duper fun car to drive ) Anyway .. she spent about 30 mins setting out a strategic plan for my year with all my 'to-dos' and made me practically pinky swear I would NOT take on any more projects - (this was happening while I was getting an email from someone asking me to organize a workshop this fall ) which she is going to MAKE me say no to!!!But she wasn't there tonight to stop them from putting my name down on this sub-committee so I wonder if I'm going to get in big doodoo! And earlier today someone asked me to help organize another event in May - and when I tried to tell that person NO - cause of the new strategic plan rules - she managed to still get around it by saying she had left a phone message on Friday so she got in before the new 'rules' technically took effect!. I couldn't disagree with her logic - so I guess I'm on that one too! I think I need a some kind of body guard ... someone who is going to make anyone and everyone who wants me to do stuff at bay. Hmmm... yes, I think I'll hire someone for that job ... a cute, muscley dude ... that'll do it Think I'll get lots of resumes?? Okay off to sleep ... dreaming of CVRDs and CAOs and IFPs and zzz |
| So I was going to blog about the time I just spend with a bunch of boy scouts, (did you know they have girl boy scouts now? , apples, balloons, and a great deal of falling around laughing - but I'm too tired. So I'll just share what I heard on the radio this morning .... folks who worry less about their weight look younger. Apparently if you have a few extra poundages, you have less wrinkles and therefore those deep crevasses begotten by you skinner folks make you look old. HAH! I'm going to go eat a wheat free, sugar free, dairy free, something ... oh bother... on second thoughts, I'll skip it and just have water and go to sleep. And at the rate I'm going I'm gunna start looking old any day now. Did this entry make any sense? Gosh I'm tired. More another day .... night night zzzz |
| Well not as practical and certainly not built for more than just one .... but here she is! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Isn't she spanky?? Long story and even longer day - so this is quick. This is an electric bike NOT a motorcycle. It's used so it was really cheap. The guy bought it for his kids last year and it has 30km on it and that's it. It's in perfect condition. It goes 30km/hr and the charge lasts four hours. So it will take about 35 minutes to get to work from my house. We are going to try to find another one so Dev and I each have one to get to town. Of course pouring rain will be another story ... but we'll see. I will still need a car no doubt, but this will be kind cool for now. Thanks for all your well wishes and I'll try to get around tomorrow. Have a good rest of your weekend everyone! bugyz |
Well she's officially dead.  Well not technically dead, dead just dead cause her resurrection went from $2000 to almost $4000 and she was only worth $1200 on a good day. And I think the kick ass stereo might be work $1000 of that. I was sorta thinking of biting it and fixing her but ....I have decided NOT to so I guess to the junk yard in the sky she goes. Looking for the silver lining *looks around* hmmmmm Maybe the man of my dreams will be the seller of my next car. Yah ... that's it. Okay gotta go mooch a ride into town tomorrow with a neighbour I'll keep you posted on that lining thing bugzy |
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