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 |  Dear Me: Please keep me sane! |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Fear less, hope more; Whine less, breathe more; Talk less, say more; Hate less, love more; And all good things are yours.Swedish Proverb  Here in the South, we don't lock up our crazy people. We sit them out on the porch for everyone to see." ~~ Julia Sugarbaker, Designing Women *********************************** Visit Vivian   Web site: http://www.viviangilbertzabel.com Blog site: http://viviangilbertzabel.com/blog.html For more info as to why I am linking these links of Viv's, see "Blogging, blogging, blogging" 
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| Step 10 Continued to take person inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Me?? Wrong?? Well, yea. I am continuing to do my amends but that could take a long long time. I've decided it will be an ongoing project as I remember things that I've tried to tuck away in this brain for so long. I am continuing to take an inventory of myself and to get rid of those things which no longer have a place in my life. I have started an exercise program at the Rec Center and am giving thought to the smoking issue. I am NOT ready but have given the thought some consideration. That's the best I can do right now.......  I am learning to love myself more every day and I attribute that to all you guys and the steps I've taken to make that happen. I actually have a real date Saturday night and I'm even getting a little excited about it. It's the first time in many many years.  Ok, yes, I'm off subject. wrong yea, been there. Admitted it? Uh, maybe not as much as I should. How many of you really want to admit when we're wrong? I certainly don't. In the process of being total honest with myself, I realize how wrong I've been. I've made wrong choices, I've done wrong things, I've said wrong things and had wrong thoughts. I swear to try to recognize that from this day forward. Please note: I did not say I would never be wrong again. That's insane. I didn't say that I would always realize I was wrong. I said I would try. Hey, it's my therapy! I can do it any way I want.........  Luv ya, mean it Have a great weekend! |
| Feeling creative? No inspiration? Come and try this!
Come on guys! This is my first month and I don't want to get fired! Make me proud  |
| Step 8 Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all This wasn't all that difficult since I had a good place to start. Family, friends, coworkers, past relationships were all included. I didn't wait for DebW so I had no idea what I was going to have to do besides make the list. I was willing to make the list and willing to make amends. I was doing great. Then, it got interesting.........Step 9 Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. Direct? uh??? wtf?? You want me to actually contact these people??? This was a bunch of bologna and I didn't think it would help me at all. Boy, was I wrong. I started writing and reading and searching for reasons and answers to why this would be important to my life now. Questions flowed ........ WHY would I want to dig up bones, for heaven sakes. Ok, ok, forgiving myself meant making amends to these people. I started writing and writing and writing. I decided to try the easiest first and started with my mother. I mailed her letter and got a phone call shortly. We talked for almost two hours about things we should have talked about years and years ago. Through all the tears and laughter, it was worth it. Now, for some difficult letters. I wrote the letter that broke my heart. I wrote and wrote and poured out stuff and then I finally was able to cry over the loss of that relationship. Before I couldn't cry, felt heart dead. After the letter was written and emailed and the response was very caring. I was able to cry over all the things that would never be and probably never were except in my own mind. What a glorious feeling..... Ok, I wrote and called and visited several that I needed to make amends to. I am, by no means, finished with this list but will continue on my journey to forgiveness..... Now, I'm going to see a dog about a man!  Check out my new blog dude for February.  Ain't he just the cutest????Luv ya, mean it |
| I've been in bed with strep for the past four days. This is the first time in many years that I've been this sick. Dr visit on Thursday and have not left the house since. Going back to work today, if it kills me. I've getting bed sores. I've fallen head over hills in love with this puppy. He is a cuddler and already loves his mama unconditionally. I think I'll keep him forever.The drama was the puppy, of course. This is like having a child. Wonder if I can take maternity leave? Yesterday he decided to try and stick his head inside his collar. I had it tight enough for his little neck but not so tight as to choke him. He got stuck.  Crying, yapping, jaws stuck open and collar so tight I couldn't unsnap it. I had to cut it off of him with the scissors.  Being a puppy mom is hard but worth every minute. I love you Charley boy! Make it a great day! |
| Step 7: We humbly asked our Higher Power to give us the strength to let go of our shortcomings. With Deb a little under the weather, I decided to proceed with the steps in order to put some clarity in my life. From all the research I can find about this step; it deals with humility. Being willing to admit that we are powerless over the things we can’t control in our lives and being willing to ask our Higher Power, in my case, God to give us the strength to let go of those shortcomings which are not conducive to the life we are after. Letting go doesn’t mean not caring what happens. It just means letting go of those things and those people you can’t control. You are not responsible for others. They are responsible for themselves. I am NOT responsible for the outcome of the things in your life. I cannot save you from yourself. I can only work on me. I can only ask for strength to see these things that I tell myself. I will let go of the need to control the actions and outcome of others. I will be only responsible for myself and my own actions. I cannot make you happy, only myself. I am not responsible for the guilt you feel about your past actions and I will not feel guilty because of mine or my inability to help you let it go. My fear is if I let go, will I ever be that happy again. How will I fill the void that is left in my life. Will others judge me for not being responsible? I will be happier by turning over my shortcomings to the One who is stronger than me. I will let go of the guilt that I couldn’t finish what I started and I will let go of the guilt of making others unhappy. I will let go of any other unhealthy behavior in my life. |
Wow! Ok, bugzy is baaaccck!!  spilled the beans and I have a good idea where she got the bowl to put the beans in. Debi Wharton and Mrs. Whatsit were together last night and calling all of blogville. What a great surprise for my birthday. I really am much too young to be this damn old. 47??? Yikes. Where did it all go???????Anyway, thank you guys for all the c-notes and merit badges and good wishes. It's going to be a great day. You guys have made sure of that. Right now I'm sitting on the bed with an icepack on my lip.  It seems Ms. Grace had a little trouble taking Charley out to pee last night. I slipped on the wet ground, went to my knees and stuck a stick in my lip. With all the dignity I could muster, I retrieved the baby and a cold cloth and drove over to my friend's house to make sure I didn't bleed to death. The good news is I'm gonna live and the bad is I have a fat lip....... I'm gonna make up some good story about an erotic encounter with a half dressed cowboy who accidently hit me with his elbow while we were doing the tango. Luv ya, mean it ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| A friend sent me this list and I can't for the life of me find its author. Please accept my sincere apology for not giving credit where credit is due. 40 Tips for an Exceptional, Superb & Powerful Life 1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day and while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant. 2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. 3. Buy a TiVo (DVR), tape your late night shows and get more sleep. 4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, "My purpose is to__________ today." 5. Live with the 3 Es - Energy, Enthusiasm, Empathy, and the 3 Fs - Faith, Family, Friends. 6. Watch more G movies, play more games with friends and read more books than you did in 2007. 7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with daily fuel for our busy lives. 8. Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six. 9. Dream more while you are awake. 10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less foods that are manufactured in plants. 11. Drink some green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, seafood, broccoli, almonds & walnuts. 12. Try to make at least three people smile each day. 13. Clear your clutter from your house, your car, and your desk and let new energy into your life. 14. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead, invest your energy in the positive present moment. 15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn and pass all your tests. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime. 16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card. 17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep the energy vampires away. 18. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. 20. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does. 21. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree. 22. Make peace with your past, so it won't mess up the present. 23. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 24. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special. 25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you. 26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?" 27. Forgive everyone for everything. 28. What other people think of you is none of your business. 29. Time heals almost everything. Give time, time. 30. However good or bad a situation is, it will change. 31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch. 32. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful. 33. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need. 34. The best is yet to come. 35. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up. 36. Do the right thing! 37. Call your family often. 38. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: "I am thankful for __________." "Today I accomplished _________." 39. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed. 40. Enjoy the ride. Remember that this is not Disney World and you certainly don't want a fast pass. Make the most of it and enjoy the ride. |
| The new baby's name is Charley. He and Angel, the cat (get it, Charleys Angel) are learning to tolerate each other. The vision I had of them being the best of friends and snuggling together is gonna need some work but hey, it's a start. Moving right along on Deb's Staircase Plan.... Step Six “Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character” Deb was right, this one will be tough and I’m not sure I’m willing to give up some of the character defects that are part of me. I’ve worked hard for many years to put up this wall around myself. Those defects protect that wall. If I admit that I keep people at a distance and don’t let them too close or admit that I’m scared of being hurt, then am I really ready to remove those defects? Am I really ready to open myself up and accept myself as I want to be. This is probably going to be somewhat of a compromise to entirely. I am ready to have God make me more aware of all of my defects of character. I will willfully recognize each defect as it causes issues in my life. I will consciously dissect each one and ask God to remove it from my character. Those defects that I am now aware of include but are not limited to: defiant and critical fiercely independent super critical of stupidity I put up with way too much in the name of love lazy and unorganized at home and the exact opposite at work selfish self condemnation jealousy and untrusting master procrastinator self justification for my behavior I am ready to analyze each of these defects and all others that become apparent in the next months and be rid of them completely or recognize them immediately in order to be a better ME. |
| Well, I have met the new man in my life. He is a cuddler and a whiner but I think I can change him. We are trying now to acclaimate him to the queen of the house who is not the least bit impressed. I need you guys to help me name him............ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Isn't he the most adorable thing you've ever seen?????? He looks like the Snuggle Bear on the snuggles commercial. He's nine weeks old and has a fractured hind leg. He was brought to rescue by the parents of three kids who got him for Christmas. They knew he was too small for three kids and decided to find him a good home. Now, if I can just convince the cat that he's ok, we'll be in business. |
| ”Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” Me, have wrongs? Calm down, I'm only kidding. I actually have a supper date with my best friend next week and she's gonna get an earful. I realize that I am looking for "me" right now. I think in my last blog I made it sound as though I was looking for the perfect man. I need to look for me. DDWearsmeout has no idea how excited this time in my life is. I have gone back and read everything she wrote. I have followed her steps to the letter. I have searched the internet as I approached each step. I never realized I could do a step program if I didn't have an addiction to alcohol, drugs or gambling. This is truly a life changing experience.I would like to apologize to those who believe that blogging is not writing. It's my blog and I'll write what I want, when I want. You do not have to read and I will not be offended. If we all had the same opinion and writing style, it would be a boring place. Now, I have the creeping crude and am going back to bed. I have an 18 wheeler on my chest and have been warned that if it is not markedly better in a few days, I get to go spend a few nights at the local hospital. Ummmmm,,,, NO..I'm taking my medicine, drinking my water, coughing a lot, eating my oranges and NOT going to work. That's a biggie for me........ Hey, I want to get well. I love you guys and want you to know how very much your support means to me. Blogging is writing and writing is therapeutic and friendships are irreplaceable. Take time to nurture yours......... |
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A wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. You were indeed blessed to have him as your father.