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 |  Sing it if you understand... |
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2Am and I'm still awake writing a song If I get it all down on paper it's no longer inside of me threaten' the life it belongs to. And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd Cause these words are my diary screamin' out aloud And I know that you'll use them however you want to. But you can't jump the track We're like cars on a cable And life's like an hourglass glued to the table, No one can find the rewind button now Sing it if you understand...and breath... ~ Anna Nalick ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This blaze was destined for you to be refined My plans for you this battle I had to require Even though, the fire is known to leave ashes behind These ashes will leave in you a God-Given Fire... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This woman prays... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ~ Isaiah 61:3 To appoint unto them that mourn in Zion to give unto them Beauty for Ashes the oil of joy for mourning the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness that they might be called trees of righteousness the planting of the LORD, that he might be glorified. |
| I just reached out to my sponsors cause I have that bad bad feeling and Lucy just keeps wanting to give me SPEED. She wants me to take her meds, even was going to bring one to my home for me to take. I know she has honest intentions but that's just weird. I'm NOT ADD or ADHD or whatever the heck she thinks she see's in me. No one has ever said that, I read the book, I didnt' see myself. That's just weird. I'm not good but I did talk to my mom and told her I was sorry for being such a bitch. |
| I need to emotional vomit. Yesterday was a hard day. It started out ok. I was chasing butterflies, went for a power walk, attended meeting where topic was self-pity. I made it to my 9AM interview, turns out she wants to help me find a job. No fee for me, but the companies she does recruiting for will pay her fee. That's cool. I'm in... she found me because a local attorney at law is in need of a legal secretary. He is willing to start from scratch with someone that has no experience in a legal office. She whispered to me the attorneys name, though she wasn't suppose too. I have heard of him but have not ever meet him or heard much from my circle about him. I'm not really interested because he offers no benefits. I need insurance, 401, savings... all that... she gave me a day to think it over, I do believe I will decline the job. I applied at an elementary school as the principal's secretary. This has my attention because I like kids. When I close my eyes and see myself in the future, I see kids around me. Maybe special needs kids... but the lady at recruiting office encouraged me to read a book titled, "What color is your parachute?" So I went to the library yesterday, sat there for a few hours and read halfway through this book. Some black dude sat next to me and was scoping me out, behind me some other Mexican dude was scoping me out. I'm like, WTF? Did the local halfway house bring their clients up here and drop them off? Damn... Can't even chill and read a book without getting eyeballed by some weird-O's... obviously they were not there for reading. Black dude kept telling Mexican dude "Behave yourself man!" Anyway, I stomped away from the reading area, checked out my books and left. This is when the bad attitude set in. I dreaded talking to my mother at the end of the day. I have just realized I have resentments about a decade old towards my mom when it comes to my job hunting. In the past, when things were different for me, my mother and step-dad just rode my ass hardcore about finding a job. Yes, there was times when I wasn't doing all I could do about finding a job. For the most part, I understand where they were coming from, now that I look back on how I was a decade ago. I guess I am having flashbacks and I automatically put up my wall to my mother. She called Saturday and gave her mini interrogation of my efforts... or so I perceived it as that. She says no. I say hell I am PMSing... I could be imagining shit. Not to mention that I obviously ate something bad, or the stress is effecting my stomach because... well, to spare you the details... I have irregular bowel movements, all day long I'm running to the restroom, every time I eat I get sharp pains throughout my stomach. I'm just a mess. I have just felt horrible for the last few days. It's also effecting my emotional state of mind. Well, needless to say... when I talked to my mother yesterday evening, I was ready for a fight. I had spent the day rolling over in my mind, how she is going to interrogate my efforts at finding a job. So I just flat out asked her, MOM... What do you suggest I do? Should I just find a JOB... or should I go after something that I want? What do you think, Mom? She cleared her throat... and she said... I will support you through this time, for you to find something you can be self sufficient and enjoy and then she continued by saying she wants to quit her job and spoke of Mike's medical bills. Quite frankly, it brought me back in time. First of all... I have money put back. As of YET, I haven't had to ask her for any HELP financially. Yes, I know Mike has medical bills. Yes, I know she wants to stop working... she has told me that ALL OF MY LIFE. She's never wanted to work, but she has always made her job top priority, even when I was a child. Then she brought up my old job and told me she felt I had no other alternative but to leave that place. She said she thought I had made the right choice, she supported my choice, and she gave reasons for her thinking. Which in turn, brought up all those old feelings I have towards my boss. She spoke of how she felt I was dealt a bad hand up there... on and on... and yeah I agree, but that's yesterday's news! I can't keep harping about that bullshit and be emotionally fit to move on. Mom had good intentions. She meant no harm. I was upset with her before she ever got on the phone so truth is... I was picking at every little thing she said. My mother, Mike and I have had dysfunctional relations since I've been an adult and before that. Mom is wonderful, I love her... I've never said a bad thing about my mother in this blog or to anyone, but she can be so indirect about what she thinks or wants that I get all kinds of confused and have to try to FIGURE it out. Yesterday she was trying hard to be direct and I had spent the day rolling around in my head, all the old resentments, that I didn't even know where there. She said, she doesn't want me applying at Burger King. WHAT? I was so offended by that remark. BURGER KING? I didn't know Burger king was even a fucking option! She printed out my resumes for me since I don't have a printer and she only put five in the folder when I had asked her for ten, so she questions me about how many I had in my folder? In other words, wanting to know if I had gone five places at least that day. That pissed me off! First of all, MOM do you know about electronic resumes? Internet? I told her about a job in Midland I was interested in. She told me Midland was too far! That pissed me off! I'm 31 years old, if I want to commute to Midland I WILL! Thank you! She said she doesn't want me ‘sitting' over here getting depressed. SITTING? I'm not SITTING no where! That pissed me off! I was just picking at every word she said and the truth is... I just have some resentments from a dacade ago and feel as if she and Mike, in the past... where harsh with me and I guess in a sense I feel like I'm that girl I was a decade ago... like I've done something to be ashamed off, like I need my mother to tell me how to live my life. She brought up the legal secretary... well, that is what you went to school for. Says, she wouldn't like to do anything like that, but I would. HELLO? I know what I like and what I don't like. I don't need my mother telling me what I went to school for. I know what I went to school for. Well, I listened to her when she said that she supported me in the decision. She wants me to find something that will allow me to be self sufficient and explained how I was barely making it from payday to payday at the food bank and now she wants me to take the time to find something that will allow me to save, purchase a home, etc... do the things I want to do... so, yeah... We have the same idea in mind. I appreciate it... I know my mother does not mean to hurt me. I know she has only pure motives, I know she loves me. I guess I just have old baggage coming to surface, the old baggage that lead me to just give the fuck up and dive into a bottle of Jim Bean, settle for a job that doesn't challenge me ... and just survive day by day. There was a long pause in our conversation. Mom says, Hello... are you there? YEAH! Mom, I'm not doing so good right now! I'm scared, I'm frustrated. NO ONE called me yesterday. Not even one call for an interview, that freaked me out... Mom, this is MY problem, I'm the one in the fire right now... in other words, I was telling her to stop trying to live my life for me. She pops off something about, "This is what you wanted!"... What I wanted? I don't recall ever saying I wanted to turn my world upside down, be unemployed and scared shitless like this? I don't' recall that! And she said she wasn't going to fight with me and let me go. Put MIKE on the phone! He'll fight with me! I didn't say that... maybe I was just looking for a fight. Maybe I'm just freaking out. I know things are going to be ok, I know that this isn't the end of the world. I'm just tripping... I feel alone and afraid. And the old feelings are coming back. I'm just so damn sick. I'm so tired ... I lack confidence. At least I got this out of me, now I might beable to just let it all go. The clearer your vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNS4pV9Pls0 |
| I'm blue ... what are you? http://www.princetonreview.com/cte/quiz/career_quiz1.asp People with blue Interests like job responsibilities and occupations that involve creative, humanistic, thoughtful, and quiet types of activities. Blue Interests include abstracting, theorizing, designing, writing, reflecting, and originating, which often lead to work in editing, teaching, composing, inventing, mediating, clergy, and writing. People with blue styles prefer to perform their job responsibilities in a manner that is supportive and helpful to others with a minimum of confrontation. They prefer to work where they have time to think things through before acting. People with blue style tend to be insightful, reflective, selectively sociable, creative, thoughtful, emotional, imaginative, and sensitive. Usually they thrive in a cutting edge, informally paced, future-oriented environment. You will want to choose a work environment or career path in which your style is welcomed and produces results |
| I've spent like close to $50 since I've been unemployed on eating out. Is that insane or what? I woke up about 1 today... hungry as hell since the last time I consumed anything was yesterday at lunch. After I had dressed, threw the hair in a pony, had shades on, keys in hand. I thought to myself: Self... You don't need to be paying $7 for no hamburger and fries. You don't even have a job! So I stripped and threw some Spam and onion in a skillet. Sheeshh... I think I overdosed on Midol yesterday. Man, I was hurting badly... It was horrible. I thought I was going to die, or maybe I was wishing for that easy way out. I ended up taking like three doses of Midol in a 5-hour period and then two IB's, all of this on top of an empty stomach. I was queasy, as hell but I damn sure didn't feel any cramps! I passed out yesterday evening at 7PM. I was a bit skeptical when I feel asleep, wondered if I would wake back up. That be about right... through out all my drug and drink history, it's an overdose on Midol that does me in! HA! Well... I'm still here. Awoke this morning between 3AM and 9AM then back out until just a bit ago. Friday I stayed out and about all day. I really had a wonderful time just hanging out without a care in the world. Saturday, I started the day out the same but by mid-afternoon my ol' stinking thinking was getting the best of me. I was having more of my vengeful visions, however, I soon recognized that for what it was and just changed my mind. The PMS BLUES... I got a call on Friday from a recruiting company. The lady on the phone was very nice and personable with me. She said she found my resume online and that I am exactly what they need. So I'm a bit confused if she wants to help find me a job OR if she want's me there at her facility. I was given the impression that she is seeking to fill a position within her company, but we will see. None the less... I'm going for an interview Monday at 9AM. This building is just within walking distance of my home. I'm helping Sheree with her job this week and will make a few bucks on the side. Sheree is somewhat of a real estate agent. I will be setting up a few open houses this week and weekend for her. She's paying me $10 an hour, which is not bad at all. I can hang with that. There are several job fairs going on in the area, and just lots of opportunity awaiting me around every corner. Yesterday hit me hard but I feel better today. You know who's to say that if I was sitting up there watching dopeman walk by my desk with eyes the size of Dallas, that I wouldn't have said just fuck it. I got money, hook me up. I'm not sure I could have kept my sobriety and worked there for much longer. I honestly do believe this job change is in my utmost best interest... more ways then one. Many of my friends at my home group have congratulated me. They have said they are proud of me for the decision I have made. I got upset at my mom yesterday. I didn't say anything to her, but hell you can tell what I'm thinking by my tone. I think she felt bad because she has since called me and laid the sweetness on. Well, yesterday she called me right smack in the middle of a cramp attack... I mean I was fixing to go off the deep end already, had just taken all those med's and was feeling sick for it. She called and asked, "What are you going to do? Are you going to go for the job at the City? Are you going to take this one at recruiting company? Where have you applied? Are you going to keep applying places?" I mean she almost interrogated my ass... it's like I heard this little devil repeating over and over... What are you going to do? What are going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Right now... I'm going to let you go before I say something I wish I wouldn't have! I imagine my frustrations where largely due to my monthly visitor that kicks my ass every SINGLE time. And of course my mother is concerned; she is on the front line of this huge life change right along with me. What happens to me, happens to mom. What hurts me, hurts mom. What worries me, worries mom. I know she's just being mom but it sure wasn't a good time for that. I wasn't up for it. I couldn't offer her any positive feedback since I felt so terrible. I eventually just loudly said, "I don't know! I'll let you know something when I know something! But Right now, I'm sick and I can't think of that this VERY Moment. Sometimes I get flashbacks... Sometimes I fear drug tests. I mean this is like the first time in my life I've been job hunting and I have no concerns at all about passing a drug test. I know that's not impressive but it's true! Sometimes I get very fearful of what tomorrow holds. Especially when I don't feel good... but regardless of what the future holds, I'm certainly glad I'm not going back to where I've been. I most assuredly looking forward to the adventures in tomorrow. Yesterday was rough, but today I'm much better. |
| I slept till almost noon today! That's so unlike me since I'm accustomed to beginning my day at 5AM most mornings. It felt good to sleep in like such. You know much about hermit crabs? I didn't either until I read this mornings afternoon's meditation by Melody Beattie. She writes: A hermit crab will find a shell that fits him, put it on, and live in it. After a while, he grows and the shell no longer fits, so the crab scurries along the sea floor and finds another shell to live in. He crawls out of his shell and into the shell that fits his new needs. This scene repeats itself again and again throughout his life. Just because a decision was right for you yesterday, doesn't mean it meets your needs today. People grow. People change. And something we have to let our safe little places go, in order to grow and change. Thank the lessons, people, and places of the past for all they've taught you. Thank your survival skills for helping you cope. There's nothing wrong with feeling comfortable and safe but don't get so comfortable that you can't let go and move on when it's time. If the walls are too confining and limiting and you're feeling stuck and bored, maybe it's time to get out and find a new shell. There's another shell waiting that will fit you better, but you can't move into it until you leave this one behind. My HP is dang good to me. I always find what I need if I look for it. He has never let me down or left me hanging... not once. I have done nothing at all today that concerns my business affairs. I've read blogs. I've read out of my books. I've played and loved on the furr-ball. I've slept! I've expressed my gratitude to God and those God uses in my life. I've just let myself BE. That is truly awesome for a girl like me. I do believe I'm going to primp today. Going to poof up my hair, paint my eyes bold and beautiful. Going to put on something that glitters and spend the evening working my program. Getting out of my shell, out of myself and I'm going to live a little! No stressing on what tomorrow holds. No trying figure out what other people are thinking. Not even going to let myself do much thinking and if I do... it's going to be about you... not me. I need to get me off my mind because that is where true happiness can be found. Today... I'm going to laugh often and much.  |
| Tonight I treated myself to a meditation. I feel so relieved now. I type to you in the dark with a lit candle in my livingroom, about ten feet away, the only light other than the computer monitor. I'm listening to a CD that is titled "Spiritual Relaxation". My mother gave this CD to me as a Christmas gift, not this last Christmas but the one before last. I just today removed the plastic cover from the CD and placed it in my stereo for the first time. I have a meditation CD that I have been listening to for the last year and a half. It is now beginning to skip, a bit scratched and I suppose it's time to move on to another veggin' out tune. HA! Just another example of ME being stuck in my ways, the familiar. It's like I refuse to try anything else. Like just ignoring the flavors of life because I like VANILLA dammit! But I like cookies too... but what if the cookies really screw up the Vanilla. Then what will I do?! But just what if the cookies make it better. Why then I get a taste I may never have experienced had I not just took that chance. And well plus I get a bigger ass than I already have! Well... you know some men like big butts! Oh that just reminded me of a few weeks ago. I was on this crying trip because I've gained some weight since I sobered up this last time. You know, I ain't never been skinny but I'm damn fluffier than I've ever been right now. Well I was bawling to this Ken guy over the phone. And well you ladies may have done this yourself, through sniffles and crying hiccups, in a whining and strained voice, you ask your significant other "Do you think I'm fat?" Well... Ken was my significant other for the moment and I asked him ever so pathetically if he thought I was fat. His response still makes me laugh out loud when I think of it. He said, "Girl... You ain't Fat... You hungry man size!" So hey... Fat is in the eye of the beholder... or something like that. I hear the sounds of waves crashing on a shore, keys of a piano gently, softly, slowly, sound in the distance of the waves. I recognize the tune as one I've heard in church before.... Something like... Jesus... oh how we ad-ore you... We place no one be-fore you... I've had a tension headache for the last three days. I went to my mother's house after the meeting this evening and I watched part of the movie "Invisible Man" with her and Mike. I ate a piece of pizza the watched their Thursday evening favorite show, CSI with them. My mother touched my shoulders as she passed behind me in her kitchen and I damn near kick boxed her. Just naturally reacted without any thought. I'm so wound up right now that it's killing me. As I drove myself home from Mom's house, the tears dribbled down my cheeks and soaked my blouse. I reckoned that if I didn't lighten up on myself. If I didn't give myself a break... emotionally... that I'm either going to be drunk or insane OR both within the next 24 hours. So I came home, sprawled out on my livingroom floor, petted the ever-demanding furrball cat for a minute then just let my body relax one muscle at a time. Man! My FACE hurts from the tension I have carried in it. You know that lock jaw feeling you get from smiling for long periods of time? I had the same lock face feeling but it was from keeping my forehead squished down over my eyes. My jaws clenched. Man it felt good to just let all that tension go. I imagine I've been quite ugly looking with that expression stuck on my face all this time. Greta came up to me after the meeting today and she hugged me. I appreciated it. I'll take all the hugs I can get. I'm not sure what has changed between us or if she is just over it as I am. Time heals many wounds. I have witnessed this truth in my life so many times. Time just has a way of changing things. That is what I kept hearing inside my spirit this evening as I meditated and focused my mind on hearing God speak. I just kept hearing that in time more will be revealed to me. I just have to give it time. I have so many questions, so much that I don't understand. I keep trying to figure out what I did wrong. Why didn't my boss support me? Did she not like me? What did I do to her? Was it when I did this? Was it that? On and on... my mind is just running away with all my good sense. Chances are I will never know why things happened the way they did. I do know one thing though, I was miserable there. It was getting worse and worse. I stopped going deep in my blog entries because it was just repetitive. I was getting to where there was no positively anymore. All I would have done was just bitch and moan had I allowed myself to truly just let it rip. I have a sticky taped to my home PC; I put it there just this last Sunday. It says, "Do 4th Step on Job." Next to my PC is a gratitude list concerning my job... dated this last Sunday... goes something like this: I'm thankful that I'm not flipping burgers somewhere Thankful for Benefits and IRA plan through work Thankful that Bosslady supported me through rehab Thankful I made it over the two-year mark I'm good at what I do I'm thankful I get to help people I do make a difference, for that I am grateful. I was coming to a breaking point and I was grasping at air. When I have to physically force myself to try to think of reasons to be thankful for something or someone... then I'm struggling. These writings are documented just this last Sunday. Tuesday she sent me home with no pay. Wednesday morning I quit. You know maybe I do understand where she was coming from... she remained neutral. She wasn't there to see it. She has no faith in her staff, the ladies that witnessed this event. Oh hell... I can't even say that cause I don't know for sure. I do know there is dysfunction from the warehouse labor hand all the way through the building to the back where payroll chic sits. Dysfunction. Disarray. Lack of communication. No leadership what so ever. Wildly enough, I'm not even resentful towards dopeman, I've come to expect this type of treatment from him. It shocked me not. I just have no more fight left in me. Crazy Aunt called me today. I got her hint. The words under her words. She was trying to twist the knife. She was trying to get me riled up by telling me things he said today. She wants me to fight back. Crazy Aunt and Writer D both want me to go to the board of directors, seek legal advice... for they claim I was a victim of workplace violence and then reprimanded for it by my supervisor. I think they are right... I agree, but I just don't care enough to fight anymore. If I were inclined to seek ‘revenge' per say on my boss, that would mean I have to hold on to this resentment. That's the complete opposite of what I want or need to do. I want and need to move on with my life. How that food bank operates no longer effects me. I'm going to stop answering my phone with Crazy Aunt calls me. Just for a while. Just until my emotions subside and of course the food bank moves on to the next drama without me. She calls to tell me everything she sees and hears and honestly... I just don't want to know. Don't care... I also believe I will be taking a break from talking to Denny. First of all... He talks to crazy Aunt on a regular basis. Crazy Aunt asked me about something today. This something I talked to Denny about. I never even mentioned it to her. Denny is just like her, it appears. That... turns me off. And well... the fact that he told me yesterday that he would call me today just to see how I'm doing... and he didn't call not once. I do understand that he has a life and I don't expect to hear from him every single day. But I have told him once that it is very important to me that a man does what he says he will do. I made that very clear and I meant it. Well... I passed the skills test at the city today! Yep... with flying colors. I had to slow down my typing speed to ensure that I didn't have too many mistakes. I clocked 63WPM with 100% accuracy. So now I get to move on to the next phase of testing. They gave me THREE book size packets to fill out with my ENTIRE life history. They also gave me the questionnaire that polygraph tester will be using. This is the same test that police officers have to take. Some of the questions in this packet are: Have you ever been tardy to work? How many times in one month? List everything that you have ever stolen from your place of business. How many times have you smoked Marijuana in your life? When was the last time you were drunk in public? Have you ever showed your genitals to a minor under the age of 18? Why did you leave your last job? Have you ever been fired? List all the drugs you have ever done and how many times you have used them. Oh shit... I'm not so sure that I will pursue that certain position. You know I got some history! The only one I would WANT to answer HONESTLY is the genital showing question... the others... I'd just rather not got there. Really... the position that I am most interested at the City does not require this type of testing but it does ask for a 10 key score of 70. I tested myself here at home and scored a 20. Yeah... * hangs head * I got lots of practice to do on that. Tomorrow... I do believe I will take it easy. I've got to clear out this chaos in my mind. All the questions, ponderings, concerns... why God Why? When God When? Honestly, I can't even pray right now. I'm angry. Dare I say I'm angry with God... I'm not... but I am... I'm hurt by this situation. I feel rejected. I feel like I'm grieving the death of a loved one. I had so many hopes and dreams invested in this job. I didn't want to go out like this. I feel like all my hard work has been tarnished. I'm a single woman and my source of income is of utmost importance in my life. It's not my style to walk away like this. I still keep thinking of the different projects I was in the process off. I just created an In & Out board. I just rearranged the front office. I just upgraded our filing system. I've been in training this last week. I would soon be assisting the bookkeeper. I would have gained so many additional skills. Writer D, our Grant Writer, had asked that I type up a huge report for her. It was lying on my desk when my bosslady made me clock out. All I could think about was getting in touch with Writer D and apologizing for leaving her request undone. It may seem real silly to some of you, but this job was a huge part of me. It's like I'm going through a divorce and I'm wondering what the hell went wrong. Yeah... it was bad there at the end. It had gotten real bad... and I was considering my other options but I didn't think I was ready to give up just yet. I guess I was. There was just no way I could go back up there. I just couldn't. Or maybe I just wouldn't... I don't know what tomorrow holds but I know who holds tomorrow. I know that God has my best interest in mind. I know that I can get another job. I already have TWO! I declined the first one because the pay SUCKS! The firm that contacted me today wanted me to start in as a customer service rep. I declined that position as well. Though the pay is almost equal to what I was earning at the food bank. I feel that I am over qualified and so I applied for the management position instead of entry level. We will see what comes of that. I really want a job with the City... but it takes time to get on with them. I may have to take something just for now and job search during my off time. BUT I'm not even going to do that until after the weekend. Monday... I'm giving myself until Monday to clear out the chaotic emotions. I'll still apply online and continue updating my resume, practice my 10 key, sharpen my job searching skills, familiarize myself again with helpful tips on interviewing and selling one self. I'll use this weekend as preparation. I can give that to myself at least. Tuesday morning as I read my morning meditations and spent time in prayer. The idea came for me to call in sick to work. I felt like reading and writing and just vegging out at the house. I had a conversation with myself. "Are you sick?" "Well, No." "Then would calling in sick be the next right thing?" "Well, No." "Would calling in sick, when you're not really sick, be something God would want you to do?" "Probably not." "Then because you believe in God. You believe He would have you do the honest and right thing. Then SELF... You should get off your dead ass and go to work." "ALRIGHT ALREADY! I'm going!" I poo you not! This exact conversation happened in my head the very morning that my bosslady sent me home with no pay. Is that coincidence? Is it meaningless? Does it not say that God is all over this situation? I went to work that morning because of my love for God and His ways. I mean... calling in sick, when I'm not really sick... is something I've done a million times in the past. This time I chose not too because of my faith and love in and for Christ. I just can't help but find that ironic. An unexamined life isn't worth living. I still have bad days, but that's OK. I use to have bad years. ~ Anonymous |
| Pay Range: $2213 PER MONTH W/ BENEFITS Department: Police Department Duties: Provides assistance to citizens regarding complex enforcement problems in person or via the telephone from the front desk of the Odessa Police Department. Requirements: Knowledge, Skills, and Abilities: Ability to read, write, understand and follow oral and written instructions; type routine material with accuracy. Ability to deal effectively with the general public Must maintain confidentiality and complete Texas Law Enforcement Telecommunications System (TLETS) training. Have knowledge of Texas criminal and traffic laws or ability to quickly learn needed information. Education, Training, and Experience: High school diploma or GED certification required. Higher education level or equivalent training and/or experience is preferred. Other Requirements: Must complete City of Odessa application form, Personal History and Polygraph packets. Must pass the following selection process: Background Investigation, Oral Interview, Polygraph,, Drug Screen, and Medical Physical. Physical Demands: On file in the Human Resources Department. Examinations: Keyboarding Test - 30 w.p.m. with no more than 7 errors. Test Schedule: N/A How to Apply: Application must be submitted on the City's Application for Employment available Online and from the Human Resources Department, 411 W. 8th Street. Application due by: Open Until Filled *********** I have that anxious feeling again! I keep getting real uneasy, all these changes. Oh I have a heart felt blog entry coming on... I feel it in my bones, It's like I have to be doing something... go go go ... I'm very very anxious and that is not good for taking these tests so I'm going to CHILL... eat my oatmeal. As I was leaving for a meeting, I thought, damn your hungry... what about breakfast DORK! So I didn't make a meeting... at noon, goiing at 5:30, eating my oatmeal then going to human resources for tests I SUCK at 10 key!!!! Oh wait, that is for the other position not this one, but Still I'm going to apply for the other one too. I'm such a wreck! a beautiful mess in deed... POLYGRAPH!!!! Oh shit! |
I woke up pissy this morning! I've had a headache for three days. My eyes puffy, my head throbbing... BUT I got over it. Hard call... A hard call is when we don't like either choice, but one option is just unacceptable. This song is for you EX BoSSLADY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Ehmm6sxSVE I called this morning and talked with Sister Sponsor Leslie. Remember her? She left the program and is drinking again but she is a, what do you call it... A high class drunk... unlike Sarah that is living on the streets strung out on crack/cocaine... but Leslie is living in a three bedroom mansion. Still has this disease but it's of different consequence. Anyway... I miss her like crazy and been thinking about her a lot here lately so I felt I should call and we talked a good thirty minutes. She cried. I think my phone call to her did her was good for her. She feels as if she betrayed us and she didn't! This damn disease is just cunning, baffling and POWERFUL. Well I gotta go... Jamming my way to a meeting and then to take another skills test at the city. bugzy is baaaccck!!   helped me and hacked away at my resume yesterday. So today I have much corrections to make as I found her suggestions to be of great use. Thank you much Bugz! I must go put some curls in and paint this face up! I got a call from another firm this morning asking me to come in with my resume. I called them like the day OF this drama and left message, saying this is Jennifer ....... and my phone number is.... uh .... uh.... uh.... Well, darn I'll have to call you back with that! I didn't know my damn number! I never call myself!!! I guess they had caller ID... Gotta go! |
My car just got HAIL beat!  |
| I need some help. I've been writing down what my job description consisted of and attempting to make my skills sound good. I need your assistance. Tell me what sounds good and what doesn't. If you were looking for an employee in your company, which of these would attract you? Which would not? What do you think??? I may have repeated myself so tell me that too! Of course I can't put all of this on my resume, so I need to cut it down. Help a girl out! Pretty Please..... My experience and skills - Prepare agendas and make arrangements for meetings of committees and executive boards, staff and agencies. Attend Board, Administration, Staff and Agency meetings. Compile, transcribe, and distribute minutes of meetings. Coordinate and direct office services, in order to aid executives. Review incoming memos, submissions, and reports in order to determine their significance and to plan for their distribution. Greet visitors, determine and direct to specific individuals they should be given access to for assistance. Prepare responses to correspondence containing routine inquiries. Managing one's own time and the time of others. Obtain and see to the appropriate use of equipment, facilities, and materials needed to do certain work. Perform and coordinate an office's administrative activities. Storing, retrieving, and integrating information for dissemination to staff and clients. Disseminate information by using the telephone, mail services, Web sites, and e-mail. Organize and maintain paper and electronic files. Purchase supplies, run errands as needed Manage stock room and supplies Responsible for handling most of the communications between administrators, staff, the community and media through written and spoken word. Prepare reports, memos, letters and other documents, using word processing, spreadsheet, database, and/or presentation software. Make travel arrangements for executives and guest arrangements. Manage and maintain executives' schedule. Conduct research on the Internet Maintain and return leased equipment Excellent word processing, writing, and communication skills Excellent customer service and interpersonal skills, able to be tactful in dealings with people. Discretion, good judgment, organizational or management ability, initiative, and the ability to work independently. Strong multi-tasking skills Able to skillfully prepare statistical and written reports as well as presentations for management. Experience composing a number of types of professional documents. Analytical thinking making it easy to prioritize work, and develop processes that monitor progress and performance for the company. Exudes a positive image that will reflect well on the organization Identifying complex problems and reviewing related information to develop and evaluate options and implement solutions. Monitoring/Assessing performance of self, other individuals, or organizations to make improvements or take corrective action. Serve as information and communication manager for office. Manage projects and events Provide training and orientation for volunteers and new staff |
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