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 |  All about my thoughts. Be afraid! |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I know I look a bit scary, but I don't bite, much  This is my blog. A place to torture people I don't know with rants, opinoins and just plain babbling so I can keep a few friends in the real world. If you like torture, come join me. Fix a cup of tea or coffee and sit back while I tell you about the time when.... |
| Dott has discovered a new game to play with Tanner and I do believe she enjoys it. It is called swat the puppy. I know that sounds a lot like stay the h**l away from me, but it isn't. Dott being a very Zen cat has resigned herself to the fact she is stuck with tanner. She has come to accept him as the annoyance he is and embraced the situation. But, who doesn't like to have a little fun now and again? So, how does swat the puppy work? Well, Dott places herself on one side of the cat door and waits for Tanner to stick his head near enough to swat. Tanner will sit on the other side and dance and whine until he can't stand it anymore then he unfailingly gets to close. If it seems that Tanner is tiring of the game, Dott waves her paw under the door to entice her prey to come closer once again. It works. Ayron said he could see it in his mind's eye when I told him about Dott's new way of entertaining herself. Dott wiggling her paw thinking come here little sh*t. That's right just a little closer…Whack. Oh, don't go away come back. See that paw, you know you want the paw…That's right just a little closer…Whack…. Last night I felt Dott's 'pain' at Tanner's annoying behavior. I decided to retire at 10:30 instead of 11:00 or later. I convinced Tanner to go in his kennel by throwing in a treat and then I headed off to bed. Before I got comfortable, the whining started. After a good half hour, I decided keeping him in the kennel wasn't worth listening to him whine. I let him out expecting the whining to stop. It didn't. Now he could just do it in my room. I figured that maybe if I had him lay on the bed next to me he would settle. Nope, he just paced and finally jumped off and started whining again. So, I chased him and Dott out of the bedroom and closed the door. Back he came whining at the door. By this time, I'm frustrated and when I went to chase him out to the kitchen, I gave him a tap on the hind end, which elicited a squeal equal to him being crushed to death. Apparently, a hurt pride is a major thing for a dog. It also proved to be what he needed. The whining stopped and Tanner decided that he did want to go to bed after all. This morning I woke up expecting a dog that wouldn't come near the evil woman who put him in his place. Not so. When I exited the bedroom, Tanner came dancing and waggling to me just like every other morning. If there is a lesson in all of this, the closest I can get is that puppies like children sometimes need discipline… Not necessarily spankings, but a firm hand with the ability to say enough is enough. I hope everyone has a great weekend. Hugs. |
| Today slipped past faster than a bunny on speed. One minute I had crawled out of bed…. I never jump, hop or leap from sleep. Once I become conscious, I ease out of the bed and head straight for the coffee maker. Yes, I am a coffee drinker. I do like my coffee in the morning, in the afternoon and even in the early evening. I try to cut myself off by about 7:00 p.m., otherwise I have a hard time getting to sleep by midnight…The next minute it is already after 8:00p.m. Where did my day go? I don't have a clue. Granted, I got a few things done, a couple of them even important things, but the day just went. Yesterday I started my first exercise from one of my writing books and I feel comfortable in calling it a success. Making the lists showed me where I had not put enough description in my first chapter --yet to be rewritten--I visualized the city in my mind's eye, but I didn't share all that I saw with the readers. From yesterday, I also have a somewhat funny story about Dott and Tanner. Dott is five years old and mostly past her playing years. She is a very dignified cat most of the time and prefers being treated as such, but Tanner, he is all play. I need to step back a little farther in time to explain a little about Dott. When we bought our house five years ago, I wanted a new cat and as I talk to everyone I soon found a woman with tons of cats on her farm who was more than willing to give me a kitten. She showed up with two for me to choose from and me being me, I ended up with both of them. After the woman left, I realized the kittens might have been too young to remove from their mother by maybe a week. Well, Sasha, my then dog, had a solution. She would be their mother. She went so far as to nurse the kittens. To Dott and Mr. Schnuffles (that what happens when you let kids name pets) Sasha was momma and no one else existed, not even me. Unfortunately, about six months after I got the kittens I lost Sasha. (Mr. Schnuffles was relocated during the cat wars this last spring) Dott transferred her affections to me after Sasha was gone, but I knew if I ever got another dog, she would adjust. Last night Dott proved me right. Up until now she has tolerated Tanner as a nuisance she must endure. Around midnight Dott entered one of her playful moods. I am not sure Tanner truly appreciated it, but Dott did play with him cat style. Dott sprawled out in the hallway peeking around the corner into the kitchen and waved her paw at Tanner while he did his please play with me dance. Finally, he danced just a little to close and wham, Dott swatted him sans claws. I am sure the game would have continued, but when I saw that I burst out laughing and Dott leapt up as if nothing had happened and made a speedy exit. Today Dott is back to being aloof, but I have seen the future. Now I am just waiting to catch the two sleeping together so I can take incriminating pictures. LOL Have a great day. |
| I have five books on writing that I have been studying in an attempt to improve my writing abilities. The books are from the series called "Write Great Fiction". Each book deals with a different aspect of writing, Dialogue Characters, Emotions & Viewpoint Description & setting Plot & Structure Revision & Self-Editing. Several years ago, I wrote my first book during Nanowrimo to prove I could. (For anyone that doesn't know, Nanowrimo is a contest during the month of November that pits you against yourself to write at least a 50k story in 30 days) I made my goal of 50,000 and set it aside. I shared the book with a few people and though the story was okay, it needed work. My problem was that I knew it needed work, but not how to go about fixing it. Not knowing exactly what to do to make things better, I moved on to attempting to write other books. I didn't get very far and became discouraged. Repeatedly I would start a novel or story idea and then put it to the side. This last year I became fed up. I know I can write. I have stories in me; I just need to transfer them to paper. This time instead of starting yet another story, I started buying books about writing. There are a few duds in my collection, but a few gems also. I plan to take exercises from the "Write Great Fiction" series, apply it to my book, and see if I can make the book sharable. My first exercise listed here with be a combination for several offered up after Chapter 1 in "Description & Setting Techniques and exercises for crafting a believable world of people, places, and events." (There's a long title for you) I am to make a list of about 10 details or items I might add in a good description of my story. Next, I need to focus on my five senses in the same way. (The book gave specific examples, but I am using all exercises in relation to my story, "Wisdom Searching". 1. The city we start out in is next to the ocean 2. It is tropical-hot 3. The building are made out of stone 4. Most houses have a courtyard with a family garden 5. All the buildings in the city are one or two stories no taller 6. The roads are brick or stone 7. People walk, use carts, horses, or litters. 8. I originally had my city dwellers dressed in robes, but I am not sure now ( I want them to appear scholarly) 9. The inside of the buildings are much cooler than the outside so must be built to encourage breezes and to reflect heat. 10. Outside of the gardens I don't see many trees or plants around the city 1. Humid heat 2. Sun beating down 3. Inside breezes bringing cool relief from heat 4. A taste of salt in the air 5. Near the courtyard a whiff of flowers, vegetables or herbs. 6. Hot pavement under sandaled or skippered feet. I realize this is an exercise that I have given myself, but you are welcome to take it and make your own. Write on! |
| I don't know what kicked me into gear, whether it was not having a book to read or just the positive of Ayron having an interview tomorrow. Which ever I got up at 9-ish and almost immediately started cleaning around the house. About one this afternoon I call my little buddy to come mow the lawn. His sister came along wanting to make some money too. I put her to pulling weeds. The end result is that I have a few less weeds, a nicely mowed yard and the chickens have something to scratch and peck at. Later this evening I expect BunBun will come out to enjoy some tasty grass also. That didn't end today's activities by a long shot. After I got cleaned up from 'gardening' I took some laundry to the laundry mat. Forty minutes later and I returned home with two loads of wet laundry to dry. Yes, our washing machine got sick again. This time it can stay sick as it has been repaired two or three times in the last two months. Each repair costing almost as much as the machine. I just finished giving my husband a hair cut and we are both hoping I got it right. After his shower I will style it and make sure. Yes, I am taking this interview very, very seriously. He is interviewing for a cabinet and coffin accessory shop. Don't ask me how they combined the two, but at least it isn't seasonal like the job he has been laid off from since the beginning of February. The desire to write is slowly coming back. In actuality, I probably could have begun writing again at the beginning of the month, but I was too busy trying to ignore life. Yes, you heard me right. I am not getting what I want from life, so I refuse to participate any more than I have too. {see the pouting lip}... Actually, I was feeling overwhelmed. There is so much right in front of me that I can't do along with so many other things I wish I could do... It has lead to a kind of circuit overload. Add to all of that the feeling of being stuck in limbo and you have a Renae who goes to work and comes home to read and sleep. I feel to exhausted to do much else. Well, I am thinking of checking on my Cafe World stuff, if I can.... Then I shall try to find at least one more productive thing to do today before I throw in the towel. Hugs to all. |
| I don't know how long I have been away. A few weeks to two months. I know it has been a while. I kind of got sucked into 'other things'. Life hasn't been cooperating with me half as much as I would like. Before I quit writing I had mentioned we wanted to move, that would have been back in the begining of April. So far, other than two garage sales to sell some of our stuff, we have had minimal success in moving. It took nearly a month and a half for Ayron to finally get his first interview this coming Monday and that will be here in Minnesota, not over on the coast in North Carolina. We discussed it and my thoughts were that he needs a job. If he can get this one, at least it is a start and there is no reason for him not to keep looking over on the coast for work. In the last couple of months things you have missed. My youngest son sprained his knee.... that is it. Work is the same... We have not moved yet... I still work at the same place.... Oh, Tibbles no longer lives with us, that is semi new. He went to live with a coworker and her husband and he loves it and they him. I miss him a lot, but it was for the best. Thankfully my coworker understands and shares stories with me. Not much of a post, but dinner is ready and it smells wonderful. Hugs to all |
| Let's see what progress have I made in moving? Not much. I have a home now for the guppies and Tibbles. I miss Tibbles quite a bit and so does Dott and boy has she let me know. We have moved a large amount of items to the garage for the sale this weekend, but we haven't marked everything yet. I am thinking of marking tables or shelves with prices and putting the items in that price on them. Since telling Mom that we are moving she has been over two or three days with ideas of how to keep us here or how to move with us. We keep explaining patiently that we are moving with barely anything and can't afford to stay here in the area. Now she has offered to let Kyle stay with her for the next school year. I really, really don't like the idea, but Ayron feels that it is my memories of the past coloring my decision and he and Kyle are considering it. Ayron is right to a degree. I don't want Kyle to be in a position where he may get screamed at by her or expected to wait on her hand and foot and he is allergic to her dog. I have caught myself twice now driving in the wrong direction when I am heading to work. I get to daydreaming about moving or leaving town and I find myself heading toward the highway when I should be going up the hill. I wonder what that means? Possibly I want to get the heck out of Dodge. Ayron has put in many, many applications now. He promised to start calling on them today. I am hoping we get some kind of response by the end of the week. It doesn't have to be a firm job offer, just an we're interested, let's make an appointment to talk more possibly on IM. We have a computer camera so he can have computer conferences. Well, talking about moving is motivating me to work towards that goal again. Be well and enjoy some spanish carrots. Hugs |
| It took great effort, but I was able to get my son to go to school today. Who knew deeps sighs and loud inhaling could be so dramatically bothersome? I do now. I suspect he stayed up too late last night and found himself extra tired today. I, on the other hand, was in bed by six-thirty or seven. My hip had been bothering me and I took an extra muscle relaxer at noon. I suspect between the pill, finally getting relief from the pain and the fact that I slept horribly the night before, lead to my early bedtime last night. It is now the end of the day and I haven't got much more to say than I did at the beginning. . . The differences between this morning and now seem few… Instead of rising the sun is now setting. Instead of whining at my bedroom door, Dott is now patting at me while I sit at the computer. Oh, that brings me to some news. I am sure I have mentioned many times that Ayron and I are moving. A few years ago, it was going to be Briton S.D. I was half packed and ready to leave when Ayron got his job back at Fullerton two or three years back. This year we are moving or want to move to North Carolina. All I have to say is," if this is a drill it is a very realistic one." We are preparing for a large garage sale. I have even advertised it in the newspaper. We have already sold the scooter mom bought in my name and sold my tank of guppies. That is where the "oh" came in. One of my work mates came over with her husband to collect up the guppies and all items that went with them. When her husband saw Tibbles he wanted to take him home too. So, though it saddens me greatly, I sent Tibbles home with them. Now it is just Dott wandering about wondering what she should be doing with herself. Poor, sad Dott. I have even found a possible home for my chickens and BunBun. My son's father-in-law likes the idea of having chickens and he apparently was impressed with my set up and wants it chickens, BunBun and all. I even broke down and told my mother today that we are in the process up selling almost everything we own and starting over where ever Ayron can get a job. Mom did not take it well. I knew she wouldn't and I was quite surprised at how well I feel I handled the telling of her and her immediate response of "What about me?" Now I have to do something I really dread…I have to tell my husband that I told my mom. We had agreed to wait until we had something solid to tell her, but I have a very big mouth. I think that is enough babbling for tonight. I need to hold back some of it for another day. Hugs |
| This has been a slow week on the moving front. Progress has been made, but only in micro steps. So far I have put up a poster at work to sell or give away my guppies. I have cleaned off about two shelves in my bedroom closet and have gotten the table moved out to the side of the garage I cleaned one night after work. The other side of the garage is still a terrible mess and I have to get it cleaned up to be able to start setting thing out there to for my moving sale. Ayron has put out about ten applications and resumes so far. I am happy about that. I think I may have even given him a good suggestion on ways to find places to apply besides just the many job sites online. I started looking up businesses similar to what he does here and showed him what I did. Now the worst part of looking for a job begins.... waiting for a possible call back. After several days of my snapping and snarling then feeling like the largest female dog in the world, I think Ayron and I are pretty much on the same page as to the progress of our move. I am forcing myself to slow down and not try to do everything in one day or even one week. That is good because I would have gone crazy insane otherwise. Ayron has quit thinking we have all the time in the world and I am not sure what Kyle is thinking. I know he is concerned about making it to his prom and I know his coach is disappointed that he won't be around to wrestle next year. If I thought we could somehow make it another year, I would say, 'let's wait. But that is not how things are falling into place." I told most everyone at work that we plan to move and that I could only promise my schedule through April. That is optimistic on my part because the average time it takes to find a job in Ayron's field of work or at least the average amount of time it has taken Ayron in the past is three months. Mind you, I didn't ride his case before. I am being a little more pushy now. Whether is was wise or foolish of me to open my mouth so soon is yet to be seen. I am hoping that I will be able to give a good two weeks notice having given them a heads up already. In more mundane news. I finished the last book available in "A Song of Ice and Fire" series written by George R.R. Martin. I can't say that it is my absolute favorite series, but it was an interesting read and I do plan to read the next book in the series when it comes out this summer or autumn. I have gone back to reading "The Eye of the World" by Robert Jordan. I have read it before, but this time I am hoping that more of how it was written will stick with me. Time will tell. That is my news for today. I am sure there is more I could babble about, but I think I shall head off to bed a bit early tonight and get a good rest so I can motivate myself to do some work on cleaning and sorting in the morning. Hugs |
| Many things have been trying to happen at my house this week. One of them is that we have decided to move. (I know it isn't the first time, but I am up in arms and trying to move things forward. Poor Ayron is dealing with a wife with a strong desire and a need to move forward -- not sit and twiddle her thumbs) Well, to continue on with Tibbles Great Escape.... My mother came over to visit and it seemed to me that she was fishing for something. I don't know what and I am not overly concerned either. After about an hour of polite chatting, amazingly polite chatting, she left. I walked her to the door and held the screen door open just the littlest bit as I watched her walk to the truck. Next thing I know a streak of gray dashes out into the darkness. Tibbles had made his escape. I dashed out after him and mom started to follow. I told her not to worry about it. The last thing I need is for her to fall while chasing my cat. I still hear about how she fell down my stairs on Oak street, never mind she wore unsafe slippers and chose to go upstairs. And that was over five years ago. Mom finally drove away and I got a flashlight and had Ayron hold the door open so I could chase the little snot back in....He was having none of it. He started out running towards the door, but when he saw Ayron, he split off in a different direction. Finally, I said the heck with it and we went inside. At bedtime I decided I should give it one more try. I took a peace of sliced ham out to entice him. I called, he mewoed until he came into sight and smelling distance. He crept close wanting that ham, but not wanting me to be able to reach him. If I scooted forward, he backed up. So, I leaned far forward with the ham on my finger. He finally came in for the bait on my left hand. I flashed out with my right and grabbed his harness, thankful that I had given my cat a handle. I scooped up the cat and the ham and brought them both inside. Once he was safely back in the living room I gave him is ham to show him all was good. Then because my mother left me very suspicious that she might know what we were planning because she could possibly be tapping our phone, I had Ayron check the outside box. Now, I know that sounds paranoid, but in my defense, my mother tapped her own phone to work towards catching her last husband having an affair. And when she moved up here, she claimed to still have the device and tapes. I wasn't taking any chances. Ayron verified that our phone box ouside is clean. I am happy. As I said at the beginning my family has decided that we do need to move, we aren't a hundred percent sure where, though we are leaning on moving to North Carolina at the moment, but it will basically come down to moving where Ayron can find a decent job. I would like to move somewhere with more moderate winters. I am not saying no winters, just not sub zero winters. I don't mind snow, but the cold that freezes snot in less than 5 seconds is just a little much. What if anything does this have to do with my mother? We aren't telling her until we have things more firmly set. In her eyes everything in the world revolves around her and that will mean our attempting to move too. I do not want to be worried or at least overly worried or expected to worry about her being upset with us, because we are moving without her. Or worse, her expect us to include her in our move. I know that may sound selfish, but before judging me, come walk in my shoes for just a couple of days while dealing with my mother. I think I shall stop here. I am tired and a tad crabby today because things are not seeming to go 100% the way I want and I am afraid it will come out in my writing. Be well. Hugs |
| Yesterday I wrote my list of five. I looked at it as a list of complaints, but it was actually a list of clarification. Shortly after I wrote that, I started talking to Ayron about my worrries, concerns and doubts about how we were handling a few things about his lay off. He felt they were legitimate and we began rethinking some things together. Up until I started talking to him yesterday, I had been holding back most of my concerns, except my cranks about work, after I voiced them, he was able to adjust his thinking too. That list of five yesterday was possibly the best thing I have done in a month to help our situation. It didn't fix anything per say, but it got us moving forward again instead of us standing still. I will update you on any major changes if they come out of this. But for now I can say my day began much brighter today than it did yesterday. On a completely different note. I had my fist fresh scrambled eggs of the season yesterday. The girls are back to laying eggs again. Woot. Hugs to all |
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