\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/deadzone/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
Review Requests: OFF
13,132 Public Reviews Given
13,388 Total Reviews Given
Favorite Genres
Horror
Least Favorite Genres
Romance
Favorite Item Types
Horror
I will not review...
Romance or pieces longer than 3,000 words!
Public Reviews
Previous ... 2 3 4 5 -6- 7 8 9 10 11 ... Next
126
126
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings, BScholl!
This is pretty good for a flash fiction piece! The fact that Manny would turn on his friend in order to get an early release isn't out of the ordinary, but it did come as surprise for this!
You did a great job with the descriptions as Rebel tried to file his way to freedom, only to find out that his buddy wasn't such a buddy after all!
Damn the luck!
Nice use of the prompt words, and the spelling and grammar was great, but I do have a couple of suggestions:
'He took out his file. 126 seconds and then it would shine again.' (I think these two sentences should be reversed since the file relates directly to him filing and the 126 seconds relate directly to the spotlights. This is obviously just a suggestion, and the only reason I bring it up is cuz it caught my eye!)
“There he is!” A guard shouted. (a)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! It was a pleasure to read, and have a wonderful day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
127
127
Review of Still Life  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello, Normajean!
For an extremely short flash fiction piece, I thought this was pretty good. It's simple and to the point, and I like the darkness of it, as well as the potential dark possibilities that could come!
For example, how exactly did John manage to get you to sit still? Methinks you might be encased in cement! *Shock2*
Great spelling and grammar, and nice use of the prompt words!
'Still-life with Apple', eh? I'm going to check that out! *Bigsmile*
One question: is it a painting? Or an actual 'still life', like a statue of sorts? *Smirk2*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean! Thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful evening!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
128
128
Review of The Warning  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there, Pernell!
I was perusing your port and found this, and it's pretty good. The ending seemed a bit rushed and a little too simple though, but I like the concept of it.
I think if you went into more detail with the ending it would help. And I'm not too sure about why he was asking what that message 'LEAVE NOW' means. It says what it says.
As I said, this was going good for the 1st 3/4 of it, but then the ending felt like it dropped off all of a sudden.
But please know that's my own humble opinion and is not meant as any criticism of your work!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a great day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
129
129
Review of The Child  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
THIS IS A WdC SUPER POWER REVIEWERS RAID REVIEW!!!

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Miss V!
This is really good for one of your 1st pieces on here, and I love the way you wrote it by bringing it full circle with the woman finding herself inside of that child and the childhood she never had.
And using that virtual window to find her was an excellent choice to use for it!
There's a lot emotion in this piece, so I think it might be based on a real experience or yours (as far as your childhood is concerned, anyway).
Normally I'd comment about using 'She' to start so many of those sentences, but it worked quite well for this!
Comments and suggestions:
'As woman and child embrace (and) tears fall...'
'She is no longer cold(,) the chill is gone.'
Otherwise, BRAVO!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Miss V! It was a pleasure to read, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you (hobbies, favorite books/authors, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.
PSS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

PSSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
130
130
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
THIS IS A WdC SUPER POWER REVIEWERS RAID REVIEW!!!

Hello there, Bob Country!
I try to stay away from politics on here (as much as possible, anyway), but I found this on a random Read & Review and had to check it out!
This is pretty good. I'm not saying I agree with it whole-heartedly, mainly since I'm not sure what 'Blat' means or is. But I totally agree with your comment about a certain tiny president being unstable! And not just in terms of being able to start a thermonuclear war!
I also like the tongue-in-cheek way you wrote this. Your comment about Putin and his exploding underpants was hilarious, and those last 5 words were the icing on the cake!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and have a fantastic weekend!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
131
131
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Aloha, Brenpoet, and happy early 18th *Shock2* 'birthday' on here! *Bat1* *Bat1*
I'm no expert on poetry, but I like anything dealing with witches, and I thought this was pretty good! She seems to have quite the fascination with cats, but I guess all witches probably do.
I like how you told this little tale with so few stanzas; it has a beginning, a middle, and an end, and a happily ever after one at that! And it's a perfect 'fit' for a children's story about a witch's *WitchHat*
From what I could tell, the meter was good, and the rhyming was spot on.
Well done, Brenpoet! *Witch* *Witch*
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!
PS-Love that cover picture/image! *Witchlegs2*

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army Open in new Window. (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
132
132
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Bon jour, Jeannie, and happy belated 9th 'birthday' on here!
This isn't bad. I think I remember seeing this prompt in the Bard's Hall contest, but I didn't even want to try writing something for it. You did a nice job here though.
I like how you told it with having the dog dig up not just the cash box and gun, but then human bones as well. But the best part was the ending: Yeah, Todd. I'd say it that was pretty ironic, alright! *Laugh*
Good spelling and grammar, but I spot a couple of tiny niggles:
"Nope, I haven't seen Marty in four days," The bartender answered...' (the)
'the concerned the detective...'
Otherwise, bravo!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Jeannie! Thanks for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
133
133
Review of Tooth Monster  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, Sue!
For such a short piece, this is cool. I'm not sure if it could be considered a 'Children's Story' since you have it under the 'Children's' genre, but I know why you did that (writing it from the perspective of a child). But that's what makes it so creepy!
Kid's can and do 'say the darndest things', and you hit on that a few times. "You're going to fill me in?" and your character's idea that he was going to be 'interrogated' were nice touches, and at least that 'torture' didn't last too long.
But those last six words were the icing on the cake: 'Not if I can help it!' *Laugh*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for sharing this, and I hope to see more of your entries in "SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window. in the future!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
134
134
Review of Mistaken Identity  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi there, Trailerpark!
This is good! You did a nice job of telling this, and that surprise/twisted ending was perfect. The way it was going there, I thought it was just going to have a 'happily ever after ending' (where the woman was perfectly innocent of that other ping pong ball trick), but then you tossed in that guy's last comment!
Well done!
"This is gonna be humiliating..." She thought. (she)
"Oh!" She exclaimed loudly. (she-these are speech tag niggles-if you want more info on them, I'll leave a link to a short article explaining them)
Here's that link:

https://writersbeat.com/speech-tags-t16297.html

Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Have a wonderful evening, and good luck in the contest!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
135
135
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Howdy, Sue!
I like this! I can't say I've ever seen a joke used as a story for this contest before, but I thought it was great! And a pretty unique way to use that prompt, too!
Great spelling and telling, but I do have one suggestion:
Jimmy ended (up) in a life raft.
Otherwise, *ThumbsUpL*
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Thanks for the chuckles, and good luck in the contest!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
136
136
Review of The dancer  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi there, Sue!
I’m not sure what to say about this. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not bad, but I wasn’t expecting it to turn out so sad, considering the way it started with her mother watching her dancing so well. But then, like Elise’s life, it went gradually downhill from there.
But I guess she did manage to attain ‘stardom’, although I’m not sure if it what she truly wanted. Her parents obviously didn’t!
Great use of the prompt words, and the spelling and grammar was flawless.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Sue! Have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
137
137
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there, Beholden! Or should I say ‘Albert’? *Laugh*
I don’t know if this was for the personification contest or not, but it’s still pretty darn good! And hilarious!
If it wasn’t a prompt for the contest, I have no idea how you came up with this idea, but I loved it!
You’ve opened my eyes (and hopefully anyone else’s eyes who might read this) to how hard you kitchen appliances work each day to simplify our lives, but more importantly, how little respect you’re given during your hard years of dutiful servitude!
You certainly do deserve the respect and maintenance you’ve earned over the years, and I/we sincerely apologize for taking you for granted while performing your difficult duties.
And so, it is with heartfelt sadness and shameful guilt that I’ll accept your resignation, but please know that your replacement will never have to endure the torments and sacrifices that you had to.
Excellent job, my friend!
‘some other bargain basement purveyor of dubious electrical goods’ *Rolling*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Beholden! Thanks for the laughs, and have a marvelous day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
138
138
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Greetings, Enigma, and happy 10th 'birthday' on here!
I don't know how you came up with the idea for this poll, but it's the most bizarre one I've seen on here yet!
That's not to say it's bad, but definitely bizarre!
I happened to choose Foot Musk, even though I'm not sure what that would smell like. The 'musk' reference kind of confused me. But as it stands right now, Flatulence/Farting is leading with 46 votes (32% of the votes) with Scat (which I know is bear droppings) right behind with 39 votes (27%), and Foot Musk in 3rd at 16 votes (11%).
But seriously, Flatulence/Farting? That just ain't right! I'm kind of surprised Drool/Bad Breath wasn't higher!
Anyway, thanks for sharing this wild poll, Enigma!
Kee ponw ritin gon, I hope to see you back here soon (you've been MIA for a year now!), and may you have many more wonderful 'birthdays' on WdC!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

A bloody mess ...lol
139
139
Review of The Phoenix  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews ~ Summer Break" Open in new Window.*CakeP*

Bon jour, Zwolf, and happy 14th *Shock2* ‘birthday’ on here!’
I’m no expert on poetry, but for as short and simple as this might be, I thought it was pretty good. And it says a lot for so few words.
Life is indeed a struggle, from the moment we’re born till the moment we die. And unfortunately, with that struggle comes pain. You did a nice job here of telling us that no matter how much life gets us down, don’t ever give up, even in our darkest hours.
Curiously enough, now that I just wrote that, I’m realizing that this hits home a lot harder than I thought. I graduated in ’83 from a class of around 60 kids (Weed, CA is a small town), and of those 60 classmates, I honestly can’t tell you how many of those have taken their own lives. Last I knew of, it was at least 8, and it wouldn’t surprise if it’s in the double digits by now.
My point is, for whatever reason, they apparently ‘gave up’. They didn’t rise from the ashes as this piece speaks of with the phoenix.
Sadly, they did ‘fly to the heavens, even though I know that’s not what you meant by that.
We have to be strong, no matter how many obstacles some higher power puts in our way.
Well done, my friend.
One suggestion in otherwise very good piece:
‘Rise stronger then before,’ (I’m pretty sure that should be ‘than’)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Zwolf! Thank you for sharing this, and may you have many more wonderful ‘birthdays’ on WdC!

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army Open in new Window. (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
140
140
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Howdy, Odessa!
I like this. I don’t know if it was the circus setting or the surprise ending or both, but I like the way you told it. Just the idea of working in a circus is interesting in itself, so that was a ‘grabber’.
As for the ‘surprise ending’, I don’t know if you meant it to be or not, but I was thinking it was going to have a nice happy ending where you suddenly ‘became one’ with the horse, the show on without a hitch, and everyone lived happily ever after.
Instead you stuck to reality (and real life) and realized you weren’t cut out for that job, opting to stick with the shovel! *Laugh*
I don’t blame you, either!
Comments and suggestions:
‘...polish the harnesses(")
Dialling should be Dialing
Kee ponw ritin gon, Odessa! Congratulations on winning the WC, and have a great day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
141
141
Review of Coping With Kids  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello there, Humming Bird!
First off, it's good to see you back here! Not sure where you've been, but depending on how long you've been gone, not much has changed here. How long have you been gone, if you don't mind me asking?
This is a nice, informative article on dealing with teenagers and the changes they'll go through, and you did a good job of writing it. It's a little short, so maybe you could expand on it some if you so desire.
As a father of two grown daughters, I know all about those changes (not to mention that I went through them too, at least the male ones! *Laugh*), and I completely agree with you on all those points! The one I liked most was about respecting their feelings and not trying to impose our own decisions on them. Doing things like that will just drive them away even futher! They're at that point in their lives where they need to make their own decisions, and any outside input isn't going to help. Yes, you can make suggestions, but don't demand that they listen to you!
Well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a wonderful day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
142
142
Review of Getting Beet Up  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello there, Timcole!
I noticed you rated my story "The Book Worm" Open in new Window., so I thought I’d return the favor.
This is cool! It’s very well written (the grammar, spelling, and prose was excellent! Thank you!), and as a lover/reader/writer and judge of horror, I couldn’t but help not smiling at that ending! *Smirk2*
I’ve never been a fan of vegetables, especially gross ones like beets, so in that regard, I can totally relate to this. And as the youngest and most picked-on in my own dysfunctional family, I can relate to it even more!
The way this started out, I thought it was just going to be a true but sad commentary on how your in-laws treated you during one of their annual family get-togethers, so I was a little surprised to see how you ended it. The best part was that you ended up having the whole table to yourself, as well as not ever having to eat that beet salad again!
And of course, no more Bill and those family get-togethers! *Laugh*
Great job, my friend!
One tiny niggle:
‘She handed me (the?) bare bowl and pointed to a space on the table...'
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a fantabulous day!
PS-'philandering chickens'? *Laugh*

GROUP
The WDC Angel Army Open in new Window. (ASR)
Dedicated to promoting positivity, encouragement, and support to the WDC community.
#1188309 by iKïyå§ama Author IconMail Icon

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
143
143
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there, Pernell!
Nice to see you entering "SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window. again!
This is pretty cool! Especially for only using 495 words!
What stood out to me was how well you built up the suspension. Yes, I knew there was going to be some type of ending, but I had no idea what it was going to be. You played it off nicely with everything going so well for this couple and their new addition to their house, and then to end it so suddenly with that last paragraph was perfect!
I do love me a good twisted/surprise ending!
I also think those construction workmen were a little nuts for building the addition from wooden coffins! *Shock2*
'Do not disturb was written on his face.' (Great metaphor!)
Great job, Pernell! Be sure to keep this in your portfolio since it's still eligible for the Weekly Winner!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for entering, and have a fantastic day!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

A bloody mess ...lol


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
144
144
Review of Runaway  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with Cross Timbers Groups  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hello there, Zehzeh!
Excuse me for being a little presumptuous here, but let me be the first to congratulate you on this, because I think this is going to be a winner! At least it is in my book!
I’ve read a lot of the other entries for this contest, and even though they were pretty wild, they all still seemed plausible.
This one though, I’m not too sure...*Laugh*
I can just picture this poor alien (a female, even?) crouching down there in the bushes trying to explain her situation to that cop, and those parts with the cop calling for backup was a nice touch.
To be honest, the further I read, the more I started wondering how you/she/it were going to squeeze in an explanation for the nudity. Fortunately, my concern was all for naught; those last three words said it all! *Rolling*
Love the cop’s comment about the doctor/therapist! *Laugh*
Excellent, my friend. Most excellent. *Smirk*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Zehzeh! Thanks for sharing this, have a great day/evening, and good luck in the contest, although I don’t think you’ll need any!

A NOVEL WORKSHOP REVIEW

A bloody mess ...lol


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
145
145
Review of Naked & Afraid  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wuzzup, Kevin!
This is good. I love reading these stories to see what crazy excuses people can come up with for this prompt, and this one, in my opinion, is in the top ten!
The funny thing is, of all the stories I’ve read so far, they all seem plausible, even as crazy as they seem. And I’m sure some cops have heard even crazier ones.
The idea of this dude losing his bath towel to his treadmill was one thing, but then getting shot at after being accused of messing around with his downstair’s neighbor’s wife after falling over the railing was nutz.
Not sure why he was driving around with that pizza box, though, but I’m sure he had an explanation for that too. *Laugh*
Excellent spelling, grammar, and the dialogue was great!
Comments and suggestions:
‘Something says you don’t have your license on you’ (ya think? *Laugh*)
“...you have got to explain this.(”)
“...and thinks I(‘m) the one screwing his wife!”
Otherwise, great job, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Kevin! Thanks for sharing this, have a great day, and good luck in the contest!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

Angus Hand


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
146
146
Review of High Anxiety  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hujambo, Blue Jay!
This is cool! I’m not terrified of heights, but I’m not fond of them either, so I can understand at least some of Eddie’s concerns. But getting scared of being up on a Ferris wheel is a little bit much! *Laugh*
Great dialogue, nice use of the prompt phrase, and that surprise/twisted ending was perfect! I kept wondering where they were. A hot air balloon or on top of a mountain were my first guesses.
Well done, Blue Jay!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a marvelous day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
147
147
Review of Job Wanted  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Ahoy, Normajean!
This isn't bad. It's certainly different and interesting, considering that sudden twist you gave to it at the end!
I was NOT expecting that!
I'm a little surprised this didn't win though, since I know Arakun the twisted raccoon is a big fan of twisted endings!
Nice use of the prompt phrase, but I did spot one niggle:
lightening should be lightning (lightening means 'the process of making something lighter in color, or lessening a weight', as in 'lightening the load')
Otherwise, well done, my friend!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Normajean, and have a fantastic day/evening/tomorrow!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
148
148
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Bon jour, Odessa!
This is pretty good, and I like the way you used the mystery prompt. You actually wrote a mystery about a mystery! *Shock*
Sadly, I'm a little like Tom. I've never read Dickens (unless you count the first half of Great Expectations, and that was only because we had to as freshman in H.S.!), but I do know that opening quote from A Tale of Two Cities.
I also like how you used the library 'countdown'. We have the same thing, but ours doesn't go minute by minute.
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot a few speech tag niggles:
"The library will be closing in five minutes(.)" came the announcement' (comma)
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! Congratulations on The Writer's Cramp co-victory, and have a wonderful day!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
149
149
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Howdy, Bill!
This is another of your Magnum Opuses (Opi?), my friend, and I can see why it won that first place ribbon! Congratulations!
I don't know if you had a prompt for this or it just popped into your head, but the idea of somehow being turned into a talking Marlin and getting caught by some fisherman is about as a unique as you can get. Kind of reminds me Don Knotts in that movie The Incredible Mr. Limpet.
Flawless spelling and grammar, as usual, and the dialogue was great! I was laughing practically from the first word to the last!
'The first thing that went through my mind was, where had I set my beer down.' (*Laugh* Yep! That would be my first thought too!)
Bravo, Bill!
Kee ponw ritin gon, thanks for sharing this, and have a fantastic day/tomorrow/decade!

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
150
150
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Steven!
This is pretty good for one of your 1st pieces on here, and I like the way you told it. Can't say I've read something like this before, as far as the subject. The idea that this poor repairman (reminds me of that old Maytag TV commercial with the lonely repairman! *Laugh*) having to go through life the 'traditional' way is pretty original, and you did a good job of telling it. But having to lose his wife over it? Oh well, at least he's still staying positive! *Laugh*
Flawless spelling and grammar, and although there was a bit more telling than showing, it's still turned out pretty good!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (and now you're getting more serious about it? *Thumbsupl*), then you're going to love it here!
PS-And since you’re new here, perhaps you’d like to check out "Noticing Newbies" Open in new Window. and introduce yourself to the rest of the community if you haven’t already.

GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group Open in new Window. (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of eight Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

PSS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.

my signature


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
5,019 Reviews • *Magnify*
Page of 201 • 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile.php/reviews/deadzone/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6