Format – Good spacing between paragraphs making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: You know, if I hadn’t read your bio, I would have thought you were actually writing this from experience. However, you are involved in the military, directly or indirectly, and I was simply blown away by the realism and intensity of this story. We are taken into the day of a soldier, in no doubt, modern day Middle East where the harsh realities of war are seen on a daily basis. We experience the raid and the unfortunate but tragic events that follow suit.
Pluses + One of the first things that struck me with this story is the use of imagery and powerful ones at that. There are many examples I can point out, but one such sentence: The huts were the same color as the sand, making everything look like a huge piece of drab fabric stretched over a canvas, the kind that flour sacks used to be made of. not only gives the reader an opportunity to ‘see’ what the character’s surroundings look like, but we can actually ‘feel’ the heat and almost claustrophobic nature of where he’s forced to be. Although there was no dialogue, there was plenty of ‘noise’ in this story. Again, you use an excellent choice of words to show the chaos, confusion, and bloodshed that eventually takes place. Your character does not feel 2 dimensional and the element of realism stands out, making the reader feel as if he or she is in the story with the character. Very nicely done. I spotted no grammar or spelling errors in this, so kudos on a well-written story.
Thanks for the great read. This was intense and makes one contemplative and shocked at the end of it all. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Hello Humming Bird! I will be reviewing your work Uncut Diamond
Overall Impression:
Format – Good spacing between paragraphs and dialogue making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: A woman in her mid-thirties, relatively successful and yet somewhat sheltered, finds herself suddenly thrust in the role of a blushing bride. Her parents now feel that it is time for her to find a partner, and deem it fit to set her up with men whose families do not seem to approve of her physical features despite her wealth of knowledge in other areas. However, she finally meets a man who does not seem intimated by his parents values. Is this a match made in heaven, or just another illusion she has to deal with?
Pluses + This was a rather romantic story despite all the uncertainties in the beginning. You’ve done a good job with the description of the main character as you show us her flaws and strengths, making her seem human and relatable to the reader. The dialogue was fitting and helped to tell more of the story.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>> “Yes mom, I’d be ready in a jiffy.” She answered between sips from a mug of mango juice.
(Always end dialogue with a comma especially if they’re followed by such phrases like ‘she said/she replied/she asked’ etc. In this case, ”Yes, mom, I’ll be ready in a jiffy,” she answered… Also notice I changed I’d to I’ll since the former is in the passive voice.)
>> Now, when she was in her mid-thirties, her parents realized
(I’d suggest re-writing this to: Now that she was in her mid-thirties, her parents realized…)
>> Brownish complexion, flawless skin oval face – That was a flashback of her teen hood.
(‘That’ should not be capitalized)
>> Whispers of admiration…Envious eyes… The lady had gone through all of these.
(I’d suggest not capitalizing each word after the ellipses. )
>> “When did you pass S.S.C.?” (Note1) Nasira looked coldly at Saima.
(The writing of ‘Note 1’ there is quite distracting to the reader. Although there’s no option for using the superscript on WDC, perhaps a simple asterix sign would work as well.)
>> “Mom, if I have to marry, I’ll marry this lady.” Javed announced.
>> “You’re my uncut diamond, Saima.” Javed whispered,
(As mentioned above, change the periods to a comma since they are continued by phrases directly relating to speech.)
Overall, this was an interesting and entertaining piece. Thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
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C-Note Alley (E) Pay a visit to several c-note shops with a little something for everyone. #1092992 by iKïyå§ama
Format – Good spacing between paragraphs making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: This is the story of two men from across continents, who end up becoming friends in the most unlikeliest of ways – through a war. Written for children, the tone of this is simple and yet the message is powerful and likely to make young readers understand that beneath violence and the ugliness of war, true friendship can blossom and last forever.
Pluses + You did a good job with the prompt. I like the simplicity of this. It’s written in such a way that young children can understand and yet adults can get the true meaning behind each sentence. There’s a great moral at the end of this, and I have to confess that the last line almost brought a tear to my eye. What a nice way to end this.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>> Sho Had one brother and one sister.
(‘Had’ should not be capitalized)
>> When the war was over (,) Sho was sent back home.
>> Before Sho left for his home(,) he gave Harry the bell that his mother had given him
>> After a few weeks(,) Harry and Sho started to understand each other.
(Comma Rule: Always place a comma after the introductory phrase of a sentence)
>> Harry and his family didn't have a lot of extras (,) but they had more than Sho so they shared.
(Another rule is to always place a comma before words like ‘but/so/and/or’ especially if they separate two phrases that can stand alone as sentences.)
Overall, this was a wonderful story filled with hope and a lesson that we can all take away especially in a time like this. Thanks for writing and good luck in the contest.
I’ve seen this contest on the Sponsored Items for a while now, and believe me when I say I’m glad you’ve gotten some entries for this well thought out and meaningful contest. Although I have not had any experience in such a system, the stories I have heard about such places can be sometimes troubling. It’s nice to know that there’s a way for individuals to voice out their concerns and experiences through writing and letting the world see just what really goes on behind the scenes. Kudos on tackling such an emotionally charged subject. Your rules are clear and concise, the prizes to be awarded quite appealing. The introductory image is warm and inviting and speaks of hope and encouragement to all those who might not believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Keep up the good work and I wish you the best of luck.
Format – Good spacing between stanzas making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: This seems to be poem written to be an inspirational piece to those who find themselves in the depths of despair. When all seems lost and you cannot seem to go on, the poet suggests that there are better ways to overcome these moments of emptiness, by discovering that deep within is a power and strength to do just that.
Pluses + Uplifting and bound to make a few people wake up to their conditions and hope to change.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>>Fourth Stanza: You are(have) become a monster
>>I’m not too fond of big caps being used in poem, but that’s just my personal preference. I’m aware that the last line was written in such a way to attract the reader, but you can do that in other ways, either by italicizing or making the words bold.
Overall, a good poem with a nice lesson behind it. Thanks for sharing and keep on writing.
Format – Good spacing between stanzas making the poem more presentable to the reader.
Content: This is a poem written through The Grim Reaper’s POV. As he speaks, he seems to lay out the ground rules for its latest victim, what he/she is to expect in the afterlife and a rather bland view of the life this person has once lived.
Pluses + You had no clear rhyming scheme, but the poem still flowed quite well. I like the straightforward tone of this piece, although I would have loved to see more imagery used. As it is now, it’s a bit too literal.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>>First Stanza: Don't look back were(where) you came from
>>And again, try to use more imagery in your poem. It helps to give the piece more depth, creating a vivid image for the reader to work with while reading.
Overall, this was a good and interesting poem. It’s always good to see certain situations through the eyes of characters you least expect. Keep on writing.
Format – Good spacing between stanzas making the poem more presentable to the reader.
Content: The sacrifices made by Christ on the cross and what it means to us today, is somewhat explored in this piece. The poet tries to make us see the pain and suffering He went through, and encourages us to be grateful for our positions today in life, since it is all thanks to the One who saved us all.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>> Capitalize the 'He' in your titles.
>> How did He feel,
when His heart was torn in half and
His closest friends were sleeping without a care at the moment?
(Now, I’m not into theology, but were His friends really asleep when He was being crucified? From what I’ve read in the Bible, I believe that most if not all of his disciples were there at the time. Now, unless this was simply symbolism, you might want to ignore all I just mentioned above.)
>> when He felt the sharp nails ran(run) through His flesh?
>> about the One who refused to give up one(on) you?
>>The repetition of the words ‘how do you feel?’ does become redundant after a while. It can be a good effect if used in a certain way. For instance:
How do you feel,
about the One who refused to give up one you? How do you feel?
How do you feel,
about the pain He went through to conquer your sins? How do you feel?
How do you feel,
about the One who gave his life to show the love and pure character of God?
The crossed out sections you can do without.
>>Last but not least, the last two lines in the poem, especially the statement, ‘You know how He felt’ – seems a bit presumptuous, since no one really knows how He must have felt while being crucified. We cannot put ourselves in His shoes at that time, unless one plans to go through the same physical torture and suffering Christ did. See what I mean? Perhaps writing something along the lines of ‘Can you imagine what he must have felt?’ or something akin to that, will help to get your point across.
Overall, you have a good point within this poem, but with a bit more polishing, I’m sure readers will be able to fully understand what you’re trying to get across. Keep on writing.
Format – Although you do a good job placing a single space between main scenes, I’d suggest either using the {/indent} tag (without the slash) to separate the different paragraphs. That way your story looks more presentable to the reader.
Content: This is a tale of two lives, forever changed by the near tragic events of one fateful night. Michelle is a young girl simply trying to get home after a night of partying and decides to walk until she can find a kind individual to take her home. Sean who is as drunk as a skunk, doesn’t seem to worry about his mental state and decides to drive home on his own. As the inevitable happens, the author takes us through the drastic directions both lives take as they each try to come to terms with what happened on that night.
Pluses + You have a good writing style that’s easy to understand. You just need to work on the spacing between paragraphs so it’s not so confusing at first. The storyline is interesting and I enjoyed the parallel of the two lives you talk about in this story. Each is tragic in itself and you’ve managed to draw the reader into their situations effectively. Although you didn’t have detailed descriptions or imagery in this, it was enough to convey the message you were trying to send across. Your characters were quite indepth - although no physical descriptions were given - the reader is still able to feel either sympathy or relief for their plights.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>>and dropped it about 3 (three) times before he was finally successful
(Usually numbers less than ten are almost always written in word form.)
>>Hmm…because of the lack of paragraph separation, it also made the story a bit confusing at first, seeing as you’re changing characters’ POVs quite often.
>>On the topic of more description and imagery, you should try to work a bit more on that – the ability to ‘show’ the reader the events that take place, rather than simply ‘telling’ them what happened, makes a big difference.
Overall, this was a good story and a pleasure to read. Just a few more edits and you’re all set to go. Good luck and write on.
Format – Good use of the indent tag to separate one paragraph from the other, making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: Jay loves yard sales, so much so that she spends several days of the month driving around town on her bike, searching for places where she could purchase one of the most important things in the world to her – candles. On this day, she stumbles across an old woman who sells her the most beautiful candle she’s ever seen. Unfortunately for Jay, that candle is so much more than it appears to be.
Pluses + You have a good premise for a plot, its tone one that definitely reeks of spookiness. I like the little back story about Jay’s family and the way her parents react. That was nicely done. With the word limit given, you do a relatively good job describing the events as they take place.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>> and the woman was no where to be seen.
(‘nowhere’ should be one word)
>> Janie changed into her pajamas and snuggled her self under her quilt.
>> until Janie heard her parent’s(parents’) bedroom door slam shut
(Since they are ‘two’ parents still around, you use the plural form)
>> Oh, Ms. Canaday, you wont(won’t) believe what I’m about to tell you
>>I must confess I got a bit lost in regards to Mrs. Canaday’s story about the old lady in at the garage sale, how she got the candles and all of that. What’s even more bemusing is the way it ended with Jay now becoming Mrs. Canaday. I guess the question in many readers’ minds would be…why?. There’s no real set up to give us an idea of just why the events took place and why Jay switched places with the older woman. Is it because of the candles? I think you should try to tie up the loose ends, so it’s not so confusing.
Although the ending could use a bit more work, it was an interesting read all around. Thanks for your submission and keep on writing.
Hallo Pass it on!. I’m reviewing your work Reviewers Club on behalf of Simply Everything
Overall Impression:
Format – Good use of the ML tags to enhance the appearance of the group. Rules and regulations are well written, easy to understand, and leave no questions for potential group members.
Content: This is a group created for anyone and everyone who would like to participate as a reviewer for various contests the writer might be running now and in the future. I think it’s a great way to get more people involved in reading and most importantly reviewing. As an added incentive, the group owner has promised to give at least 100gps to each public review made, so you know that your efforts will not be for naught.
This is yet another great idea and I wish you all the best of luck with this. Keep it up!
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C-Note Alley (E) Pay a visit to several c-note shops with a little something for everyone. #1092992 by iKïyå§ama
Hallo Pass it on!. I’m reviewing your work Getting Published on behalf of Simply Everything
Overall Impression:
Format – Good use of the ML tags to enhance appearance of the article. There was also good spacing between paragraphs so the article was readable and more presentable to the reader.
Content: This is a very informative article that deals with the one thing many amateur writers hope to achieve some day – Getting Published. Not only has the writer taken the time to write a comprehensive and well detailed piece that talks about the various steps one has to take to achieve this goal, she’s also gone the extra mile to interview already published authors on WDC to get their opinions, suggestions and thoughts on the right things to go. I read this and was even more motivated to do my best to get my stories out there, and I highly recommend everyone have this put in their favorites.
Thank you for writing this and to the writers who took the time to reply to your questions. Every little bit helps and this gets more than five stars in my book. Keep up the excellent work!
** Image ID #1174606 Unavailable **
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C-Note Alley (E) Pay a visit to several c-note shops with a little something for everyone. #1092992 by iKïyå§ama
Hallo Pass it on!. I’m reviewing your group Pass It On on behalf of Simply Everything
Overall Impression:
Format – You have made good use of the ML tags to enhance the appearance of the forum, with good spacing between main points so the rules are made clear to the visitor/reader.
Content: This is a group created to help raise funds for various groups and activities around the website. I’m proud to claim that your efforts have helped to keep several of these wonderful contests and activities still in the running today. Anyone can be a part of this, by either donating (no amount is too small) or simply joining and being willing to contribute and donate to as many charitable endeavors as possible.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
A minor typo noticed:
>> Funds from this group will be given to various groups within the writing.com site and to help with prizes for worthy contest.(s)
All in all, this is a well thought out forum and definitely gives a whole new meaning to angels in our midst. Keep up the great work!
Format – No clear format since poem is a stanza long and written in a free verse-like form
Content: A poem about the feelings of man towards a woman he seems head over heels for. His emotions spill from the heartfelt words that make up each line. Although, at first they seem quite ‘painful’ and almost crude metaphors, one can see that each go into depth on how much he loves this woman. The last few lines emphasize his request to become her groom once she returns. Overall, this is quite the romantic piece.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>> I’m not saying you should marry me, just that id be honored to call you my wife.
Now the third wish that I hoped lasted for the rest of forever.
Is to have a eternal bond with you that not a damn thing could sever.
What might be, what if, what could possibly be.
Those are all words throw together I never want you to hear from me.
The rest of the lines in the poem were great and you managed to keep the rhyming scheme. However, these last few lines had a few grammar errors that broke the flow and made it a bit difficult to fully understand. I’d suggest re-writing it to:
I’m not saying you should marry me, just that I’d be honored to call you my wife.
Now the third wish that I hope will last forever
Is to have an eternal bond with you that not a damn thing could sever.
What might be, what if, what could possibly be.
Those are all words thrown together I never want you to hear from me.
A good poem all around. Thanks for your submission and keep on writing.
Hello banders! I will be reviewing your work The Greatest Fear
Overall Impression:
Format – Good spacing between stanzas making the poem more presentable to the reader.
Content: The poet writes about the strange occurrences that take place in a room at night – foreign noises, heavy breathing, a creaking of the doors and the shadows that lurk. How is one to combat these fears?
Pluses + This was a fun and entertaining poem. The rhyming scheme was very good and made for a smooth flow while reading. Not heavy with the imagery, but it was enough to make the reader ‘see’ the events taking place. Nicely done.
Good job all around and thanks for sharing. Keep up the good work.
Hello LuckyBoy! I will be reviewing your work A Tale of the Night
Overall Impression:
Format – Good spacing between stanzas making the poem more presentable to the reader.
Content: A fun and yet serious warning for all trick and treaters on Halloween night. For although things mind end up being fun and there’re lots of treats that await those who ‘haunt’, be warned that you can never be too careful about the contents being thrown into your baskets.
Pluses + Good job with the acrostic and the use of the colors to enhance the poem. Nicely done. You had a good rhyming scheme and it flowed quite well, although the last stanza was a bit too long in comparison to the others. Nice little warning at the end. You never know what you might get, however, one cannot allow that to dampen the spirit of the night.
Hello E E Coder! I will be reviewing your work Daddy of Steel
Overall Impression:
Format – Good spacing between paragraphs and dialogue making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: A man returns home on Halloween, where his young daughter gives him the play-by-play of the accident Mommy got herself involved into. Concerned for his wife, he eventually finds out what the problem is, however, he realizes he now has to go out trick or treating with his daughter in a costume that’s far from flattering.
Pluses + A fun storyline that captures the spirit of Halloween. The dialogue was fun and realistic, bringing your characters to life and making them more believable.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>>Just a few punctuation errors noticed, like saying placing a comma before the word ‘as’ in several sentences where they aren’t necessary.
>> I also noticed that you had some dialogue where the second half was not capitalized as they should be. For instance: “Well, good afternoon to you,” I laughed, “what’s the hurry sweetheart?”
Since the phrase Well, good afternoon to you. can stand on its own as a complete sentence, you should begin the second half with ”What’s the hurry, sweetheart?” See what I mean? Remember that you should always capitalize the second half any dialogue especially if the first part can stand alone as its own sentence.
Overall, this was a fun and interesting story and I thank you for sharing. Good luck in the contest.
Hello Eiric! I will be reviewing your work Every Witch Has A Wart
Overall Impression:
Format – This was an interesting format, where some stanzas were longer than others. However, it made the piece more presentable to the reader.
Content: Are witches always those with black hats, warts on noses, ride broomsticks and cackle in glee? You’d be surprised to know that not all witches are like that and some might be so much closer than you think.
Pluses + Generally, you had a good rhyming scheme which made for a smooth read. However, the first few lines were a bit ‘off’ perhaps it had something to do with the punctuation marks you placed. The last line is quite effective, however it makes me wonder if you’re actually referring to someone who must have hurt you in the past. I definitely sensed a tone of bitterness while reading this, but I could be wrong.
Overall, this was an interesting piece and I thank you for sharing. Keep up the good work and write on.
Format – Good spacing between stanzas making the poem more presentable to the reader.
Content: Talk about making a witches brew. The poet mentions items that is bound to make one sick, and yet manages to capture the ‘taste’ of the famed brew and what they might contain. There was a great rhyming scheme to this which made for a smooth flow and effortless read. It’s almost something you’d expect to read from the pages of classic literature. Very well done. The imagery alone is enough to have one shuddering. Keep up the good work and write on!
Hello SHERRI GIBSON! I will be reviewing your work What Halloween Means To Me
Overall Impression:
Format – I’d suggest placing a single space between the paragraphs or using the indent tag. Nice use of the orange font color to make it more ‘festive’.
Content: This is a short essay that deals with the meaning of Halloween and how it affects the writer. She points out the various activities that take place on that day, reminding many of us why it’s seen as not just a night of ghouls and ghosts, but of family, friends and fun. But most importantly, a time when our creativity shows in more ways than one.
This was an enjoyable read and I thank you for sharing. Keep up the good work and Happy Halloween!
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C-Note Alley (E) Pay a visit to several c-note shops with a little something for everyone. #1092992 by iKïyå§ama
Hallo Harry!. I’m reviewing your work Halloween on behalf of Simply Everything
Overall Impression:
Format – Good spacing between stanzas making the poem more presentable to the reader.
Content: This was a fun little piece about the joys and festivities that take place on the night of Halloween. From costumed kids to perhaps a real life witch, no one knows what to expect on this night of ghoulish fun!
Pluses +
Great job with the rhyming scheme. It can almost pass for a children’s poem – at least it’s something I feel that they can enjoy. You managed to capture the essence and mood of Halloween with your poem, showing the various things that make it so much fun.
Overall, this was a fun and well-written piece and a pleasure to read. Keep up the good work and write on!
Format – Good spacing between paragraphs making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: Abner is a man filled with images of a horrific and terrifying event witnessed in person. He decides that writing out these images would help to ease the demons, but to his surprise, he begins to receive responses to these letters. Continuous correspondence with this unseen entity finally confirms his worst fears.
Pluses + You have a good command of the English language and it shows in your story with the choice of words used to describe the scenes. You set up a dark ambience that fits with the horror theme – it definitely sent chills down my spine especially at the last few paragraphs. You also make use of imagery to convey some scenes, giving the reader a good idea of the events taking place.
Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it’s ultimately up to you to choose what works best.
>> Thinking that I must have left a window open, I turned on the light and went to close the window(it), but the window wasn’t open.
(The repeated use of the word ‘window’ made it sound redundant in the sentence.)
>>As good as the story was, I did not see the image prompt given in the forum used within.
This will be rated purely on the fact that it was a good story. However, for contest purposes, I do not feel you did the image given enough justice. Thanks for your submission.
Format – Good spacing between stanzas making the poem more presentable to the reader.
Content: A woman goes out into the woods at night in preparation of a ritual that brings out the dead beneath the light of the moon.
Pluses + Again, you have a nice storytelling quality with your poems. They paint a much bigger picture of the events that take place. The setting for this piece is dark and ‘cold’ – your word selections help to make it seem that way. Good use of imagery in this piece with such lines as – Night's creatures sing to her; Faraway realms call her name. There was a good flow to this piece, and the last few lines give it a haunting quality. Nicely done.
This was yet another interesting poem. Good job with this and keep it up!
Format – Good spacing between paragraphs and dialogue making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: Young Kelsey and Emily are doing their best to raise money for their mother’s operation. Since father left when mother got sick, they do not have the funds or means to get this operation done. Kelsey decides to set up a lemonade stand, while Emily decides to sell a wagon of hand-picked rocks. The neighborhood does its best to rally around the girls, but unfortunately Em’s rocks do not seem to be a hit. No one wants to buy them and despite Kelsey’s attempts to cheer up her sister, Emily still feels sad that she can’t do her part. One day, however, a limousine pulls up to them and a mysterious man with long hair and a funny accent questions Emily about the way to a concert hall. Their little conversation ends up changing their lives.
Pluses + This is a heartwarming story of love, sacrifice and the kindness of strangers when you least expect it. The characters were believable, the children fun and engaging with their dialogue and banter. It’s something one would expect from sisters, and did not seem too far-fetched. No errors or grammar errors were noticed.
Yet another well-written and enjoyable story from you, Nik. It’s been a pleasure browsing through your portfolio so far.
Format – Good spacing between paragraphs and dialogue making the story more presentable to the reader.
Content: On the night of Halloween, Ed is an old man who tries to continue his ritual of reading Edgar Allan Poe’s poem ‘- The Raven. However, constant interruptions from children trick or treating, has him stopping each time to give them candies. It’s a chore he doesn’t mind doing, especially since his late wife – Rosie – had considered it a tradition and always enjoyed doing it. In her memory, Ed has vowed to continue until his dying day. Tonight is a particularly tough one for Ed, for he begins to feel cold and has the most awful cough. As the hours go by, it gets worse and worse, so much so that he’s unable to think of anything but his dear Rosie and the life they’ve lived together. However, something peculiar happens at the end of this tale – the familiar scent of rose water fills his senses and someone soon appears…
Pluses + You make me want to pick up ‘The Raven’ again. It’s been a while since I’ve read that poem. You did a good job incorporating the lines of the poem with the story itself, thereby heightening the tension and sense of foreboding. The setting was perfect, the dark ambience and yet cheerfulness of children dressed in costumes, captures the spirit of the festivities. I enjoyed Ed and Rosie’s back story. It was quite touching and warm, giving more depth to the characters and enabling the reader to feel sympathy for their plight. There was no grammar or spelling errors noticed. Great job!
This was a wonderful and well-written story. You seem to have a knack for the scary stuff! Keep up the good work!
Format – None applicable since poem is in free verse form.
Content: The sad tale of a woman from the 1800s is captured in this poem. Losing her true love, she ends her life in a tragic way. And till today, guests of the bed and breakfast swear they see her still roaming the halls. Eternally waiting and searching for the one she loves the most.
Pluses + I don’t know if you’ve been to Savannah, Georgia before, but this poem reminds me of the many ghost stories one gets to hear. You’ve managed to capture that ambience in this piece. I love the storytelling quality of this, one almost forgets its poetry while imagining the events that must have happened to our tragic heroine. The last line is a bit haunting and the perfect way to end the poem.
Overall, this was a very well-written piece and one that’s just perfect to capture the spirit of the Halloween season. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work.
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. I am a guest judge for 
Format –
One of the first things that struck me with this story is the use of imagery and powerful ones at that. There are many examples I can point out, but one such sentence: The huts were the same color as the sand, making everything look like a huge piece of drab fabric stretched over a canvas, the kind that flour sacks used to be made of. not only gives the reader an opportunity to ‘see’ what the character’s surroundings look like, but we can actually ‘feel’ the heat and almost claustrophobic nature of where he’s forced to be.
Although there was no dialogue, there was plenty of ‘noise’ in this story. Again, you use an excellent choice of words to show the chaos, confusion, and bloodshed that eventually takes place.
Your character does not feel 2 dimensional and the element of realism stands out, making the reader feel as if he or she is in the story with the character. Very nicely done.
I spotted no grammar or spelling errors in this, so kudos on a well-written story.
This is a short essay that deals with the meaning of Halloween and how it affects the writer. She points out the various activities that take place on that day, reminding many of us why it’s seen as not just a night of ghouls and ghosts, but of family, friends and fun. But most importantly, a time when our creativity shows in more ways than one.
