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 |   My journey through (and beyond) the valley with Cancer as my companion. |
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Dear Friend: This is not a Blog about writing! (I already have one of those.) This is a blog about a journey I am taking with illness. I have recently been diagnosed with Cancer. My goal is honest therapy as I progress through, and beyond this new reality in my life. I hope that, somewhere along the way you will find some words that will help you too. While this is, in fact, an interactive Blog, I hope that you will scroll slowly down this page. For you see, the front of this Blog IS my journey. The entries are conversations that are held along the journey.Yes, there is a lot on it--before actually getting to the Blog entries. But, I hope that by the objects and words which appear before the Blog itself, you might come to understand just a little bit about me, and my journey, and some truly amazing friends who have agreed to journey with me. I hope that you, too, will choose to accompany me on my walk--through the Valley. I invite you to join me, and discover the wondrous truths, meet some truly amazing people, and share those "memorable" moments this journey will undoubtedly present. Come along, won't you? In His Care, ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Would you like to help me help others? I found this amazing organization, and I am proud to be a sponsor. I hope you will check it out. It's called The Network For Good.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "RISUS OMNIA - INCRUMENTUS PER DEDECUS - SAPIENTIA PER DAMNUM" ("Every thing is funny - Growth through humiliation - Wisdom through loss") ~Leunig~ The hilltop hour would not be half so wonderful if there were no dark valleys to traverse. ~Helen Keller~ "If you do not tell the truth about yourself you cannot tell it about other people." ~Virginia Woolf~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "There is strength in truth." ~The Barton Family Crest~ ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** “Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” — Helen Keller, American social activist, public speaker and author (1880-1968) I have moved the list of my thanks for those who have helped to make this little Blog so very special. I hope that you will take a moment to read the list, growing every day, and let these fellow travellers along this journey know that you appreciate the contributions they make to our walk together.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please feel free to click on the Blog Rings icon below to be transported to some of the very best of the Best Bloggers around WDC. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** If you are new to WDC, or to our Blogging community, I highly recommend the monthly edition of "The Blogville News". Feel free to click below, and let Scarlett   know that a Blogger sent ya!Hey! We've started a Christian's Blog Ring on WDC. Click on the logo, and join us! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Budroe
 Ring LeaderI have three publications at the moment. Here is a link to purchase my latest one. Buy a great read, and help a fellow writer out, Okay?  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| This blog was originated so that I might have a space to consider my own universe, condition--my own reality. Today, I'm going to use it for that purpose. The reality is that there is a real human being behind these words. That can be a shock to some folks. If you are interested, or along for this amazing journey, please feel free to read on. Otherwise, thanks for stopping by. See ya next time. You are in control of your actions. I am still in control of the words and world here. If I were asked to give a cogent title for this entry, I believe it would be "Fear!" Many friends along this journey speak to me often about one fear or another they are experiencing. One (probably the first) question I ask is "How long have you been experiencing this fear?" The surprise is not in the asking of the question. The surprise is (for me) the frequency of the same answer: "Recently." is a close approximation that will generally do. Recently. Old fears or is this a new one? "Old fear revisited." or "Brand new fear, it seems." are the most common answers. Only because I am still alive do I particularly care about the questions AND the answers. Why? Because I can totally relate to both answers. On this journey, we (regardless of our position within the journey) become intimate with fears both nefarious and nebulous. "Something, I don't know what, is making me fearful!" I won't dig too deep in that particular trench at the moment because it is, in the greater scheme of things, of less importance--with one exception. It seems that virtually everyone I know is experiencing NEW fear, and it is not something of their own creation. It is something coming to them from outside their reality with the force of an armed invasion. Note that. We'll discuss it soon. I visited my docs today. Specifically, a pain doc (new to the team). Seems I likely have a broken rib. Pretty painful, that. Compared to other pain, it's right up there. And mightily inconvenient, if I do say so myself. So, what? It's a fear I can touch. If I touch it, it hurts. Logical understanding eradicates fear. Example: eliminates fear of lung cancer, eliminates lying awake during sleep time making sure I take a breath (PE Fear never leaves.), etc. Stay with me, if you will. It matters. It may well matter to you. I can deal with anything I know. It is what I do not know that creates tension, stress and fear. Yet, like many of the people I have been talking to, I too have a sense of impending dread and doom invading my peace. We didn't coordinate it. It has come upon each of us at different times, and in different ways. I would submit it is not a personal fear so much as a national fear. Yes, national. If someone were to inquire of me whether or not I had fear about my nation, and my citizenship, my answer would be a resounding "Absolutely!" You who know me will know that I am, and have always been a political being. I came from a home environment where politics shone brilliantly, where citizen and citizenship really mattered, where national patriotism beat in every heart. For those of us in my family still left breathing on this orb, these things matter still. They all play a vital role in my rising up and in my lying down every day. More than the issues of these days that lay heavy upon my heart are the fears they are causing to invade my peace. These are the fears that seem to be unearthed as being the most common among those with whom I discourse regularly. So, what is going on? This was the question that resulted in my inquiry of Dad. The answer I was given has resulted in my determination to create the first of several "Encounters With Christ". (See what trying to be brief and succinct get ya?) Even before the probability that the nexus of such fears is actually a crisis of faith, it is important to survey the landscape for possible answers, better questions, and a reasoned way of dealing with both. Rationality, emotion, logic and common sense all have an important role to play on this journey--and they will be. But the origin of both problem and answer exist in only one word: FAITH. Rather than blathering on about politics, politicians and the national condition, I feel compelled to write about, in the middle of all these things, blathering on about how faith is the problem, and how only faith is the answer. That is why I have limited this first "encounter" to those who consider themselves to be "born again" Christ followers. This encounter is not designed to define, or lead to having faith; it is presumed existent in those who will participate and experience this first encounter. This blog is for my thoughts, but it is also a journal of the expansion of those thoughts. That is why I am putting my thoughts about the encounter, the writing of it, and how it transpires to what is for me a logical result. I'm already astounded by what I am learning, and even what I have written here. I worry (fear) this blog will not last until the conclusion of this particular activity. It would be a real dilly of a deal to have to split this across blogs. What to do? 1. Find out how many entries are permitted in a blog. 2. Find out how many entries are used, and how many are left. 3. Eliminate the fear with knowledge, and plan based upon data. 4. Pray without ceasing. In His Care, Budroe PS: Labs and X-Rays tomorrow, along with a scheduled dressing down from my Endocrinologist about the importance of taking Blood Sugars regularly. And insulin. And diet (trying like mad to gain weight: a Challenge for my Endo Nutritionist. PCP the next day. It seems things are happening (again, still....) with my body. I'll let you know here what develops. Your prayers are coveted. |
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