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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1311011-Porthole/month/5-1-2023
Rated: 13+ · Book · Personal · #1311011
A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life.
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes.

Ferry boat between Solvorn and Ornes across the Lustrafjord i Sogn og Fjordane.




I'm starting a new blog because
BOOK
L'aura del Campo  (13+)
Online journal capturing the moment and the memory of moments. A meadow meditation.
#982524 by Kåre Enga in Montana
had over 1,200 entries and that was getting close to full. I don't want to trim it by deletion. I did that once, much to my dismay. Will be used more for poetry.

BOOK
Hoarfrosts from Hell  (GC)
Anything I'm not happy about or that I don't want in my main blog!
#997339 by Kåre Enga in Montana
is still hidden from the public and will remain so. It's more personal and full of angst. Was used for 30DBC for May 2020 and now used for Blogville.

BOOK
Enga mellom fjella  (13+)
Enga mellom fjella: where from across the meadow, poems sing from mountains and molehills.
#1317094 by Kåre Enga in Montana
was full... until the number of entries was increased. A mixed blog, mostly stories.

I'll be linking to
BOOK
On The Write Path  (13+)
ON THE WRITE PATH: travel journal for Around-the-World in 2015, 16, 18.
#2032403 by Kåre Enga in Montana
as I need to post there about my travels.

 
BOOK
O Pinions!  (XGC)
May my opinions gather wind under their wings and fly, perchance to soar.
#1501776 by Kåre Enga in Montana
is for my opinions. *Laugh*

BOOK
Nurture your Nature  (13+)
Look around. Let Nature nurture your Soul. I record images I sense and share them here.
#1439094 by Kåre Enga in Montana
was set up for nature observations and musings.

 
BOOK
Watt's Gnus  (18+)
On topics and today's gnus. Definitely opinionated. Set to 18+ for a reason.
#1439092 by Kåre Enga in Montana
come out of a need to share interesting stuff I come across. When I was young I did a small newsletter named as such. (or was it column in the newsletter? Been 30 years... I think.)

 
FOLDER
Flash Fiction  (GC)
Short 300 word, more or less, "stories" .
#2190336 by Kåre Enga in Montana
is where I put my flash fictions. Maybe someday I'll figure it out and have enough good ones to publish. Ratings vary and some are hidden from view.

I've started an appendix (I no longer have one personally) to keep track of my Space Cadet journals for Space Blog. It's a work constantly under construction. Mind the mess.
STATIC
Space Cadet - the never ending journal  (18+)
Journeys of an Alien Space crew.
#2226611 by Kåre Enga in Montana


I needed to start a folder for contests as there are so many deadlines and details to remember.
 
FOLDER
Conquest ... to keep track of contests  (18+)
A place to keep track of in progress works and up-coming deadlines as well as any awards.
#2233119 by Kåre Enga in Montana
(also very messy!) *Shock2*

 
FORUM
Blogville   (XGC)
Where bloggers meet and greet to read and share. No required prompt. Alias: blogville.
#2253938 by Kåre Enga in Montana
is for posting personal blog entries in hope that folks will comment and post their blog entries there as well. I will be commenting on all blog entries posted. It's my effort to rebuild a blogging community.

BOOK
Bibimbap 비빔밥   (13+)
Left-overs piled on hot rice and mixed.
#2296648 by Kåre Enga in Montana
an E blog focusing on food and culture. Easily digestible for the Queasy and Questioning.

May 28, 2023 at 11:53pm
May 28, 2023 at 11:53pm
#1050214
*Mugr* 04/06/66

79 degrees at 07:30. We are still In the Shadow of the Tower.

*Yawn*
*Checkr* Exor. 300/50/50/300 = 700. 08:22 79 degrees
*Checkr* obsv. fallen palm frond, nest, after-the-rains litter, bumble checking out a yellow tube... backing out, long grass needing a trim. 08:30
*Checkr* ss&s. 09:10
*Checkr* blog. Neva/Steph/Harlow 10:35
*Checkr* Thai. dûay: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mtuEbwIpYzQ 12:03
*Clock* เที่ยง 93°F 34°C *Clouds**Sun* Overcast.
*Checkr* meee. "Rent has been paid! 13:00
*Checkr* tvBL. Eclipse https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAT5Pte6bNg 14:30 and the finale of UMG 21:30
*Moon*
*Checkr* foto. palm frond, nest, sweet-sour, race. 18:00
*Checkr* Walk. 18:45 Rain = slippery
*Checkr* PorP. 21:30 15 lines, unfinished
pôod. นิดนอย
Shop. potatoes มันฝรั่ง
*Xr* mess.
*Xr* Pool.
*Xr* gnus. I read the Nooz every day but Florida depresses me.

An ugly bag of mostly water glowing from its inner stardust? Star Trek meets Rumi? Something Neva posted got me thinking.

To Steph: "I prefer tap water. I grew up with treated lake water (decent) and in Missoula our water comes from an aquifer (very good). I always drank tap water in Costa Rica as well.

I do prefer it flavored.

In Thailand no one trusts the water... although it's deemed safe. I boil tap water for my coffee. Bottled water just cost us 416 baht for 10 cases (60 1.5 liter bottles = 90 liters). That's about 4.5 baht/bottle or 13 cents US.

By alkaline do you mean soda water? Don't care for it."

To Harlow: "My blogs garner some views but very few comments. My give/get ratio is about 10:1. That's WdC ... not a community!

My photos on facebook do much better. Comments most every day.

I wonder whether fiscally conservative and anal retentive are related. Conservatives, by definition, tend to value stability, conformity, tradition. This is comforting to those who do not want change. Social-liberalism is demanding change. The two don't go well together.

Let me put it this way... to treat everyone as a human being that deserves respect means sharing a piece of your pie. And many people do not want to share with "them" (no matter who "they" are)."


To Phyllis (Newsfeed): "I have had writing goals in the past. 1/day was my go-to for many years. I'm worn out now. If I can do 200/year that's a victory.

I'm doing better with photos. Can take one hundred in a day... or nothing. I'm trying to edit and post at least one/day at facebook. I get better recognition and feedback there (a non-photo, non-writing site) than here.

I've received 3,785 reviews over 18 years. I don't respond to them often though and that's on me. I should, if only to encourage others to review. I shy away from reviewing myself as I don't know much about stories to critique them. And poetry? No one wants me giving them a 2.5 for a grade school haiku that makes me cringe. If I like it I'll give it a 3.0 even if it fails at being a haiku. A 4.0 means I like it, 4.5 means I like it a lot; 5.0 means I'm gushing. However, most writers seem to want/need hugs but cannot differentiate between someone giving them a hug whilst slicing their dubious writing to shreds.

I guess a good goal would be re-reading and editing old works and finishing or polishing them. *Hearto*"

To Erik Petersen "Americans have no problem flying to Paris to take a selfie with the Eiffel Tower, then going to a tourist restaurant and bitching about the French not speaking English... with that mentality there's little hope that Americans will value what they have at home or come to the understanding that what is done everywhere in the world can be done in the U.S. as well (example...U.A.E.). Yes, I sound cynical, but Reserve Street in Missoula could be turned into Torino/Paris and become a great place to live/work/play/visit. But... very little vision other than a developer's bank account. If the only concern is $$$ then that's the answer. We aren't Brisbane which mandates art as part of the exterior and design of a building. To Americans that's "communism" and absolutely verboten. As long as the materialists hold sway then Art will only have crumbs to live off of. Yes, I'm very cynical."

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-cost-of-being-trans-in-florida-just-went-u...
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/abcarian-the-persecution-of-an-abortion-doctor...

1. Whether Lauds or None, it's always 3 o'clock somewhere. It was Lauds when the priest's prayers went unanswered and None when his naked body was found.

2. Kissing the door to the freezer was only the second worse problem Isaac faced. Finding a way to unlock it from the inside still eluded him.

3. Daisy peered past the field of dandelions at the naked man approaching her. He looked fine and dandy in her binoculars.

4. Writhing roots converged at the old stump where new purple growth had appeared overnight.

5. Bulls***! Agreed, but I want to know whether that was before or after he was gored.

6. The click-clack wouldn't have bothered him if he weren't sky-diving at 5,000 feet — alone.

7. Flicka knew she had a horse-face, knew that that's why she got the starring rôle.

8. Pansy traipsed around Dillon in his sequined gown. This was his town and anyone who thought different would best move out of his way.

9. "I know I shouldn't count you out but poverty is a crime punishable by death." Bridget was about to find out how right she was.


Bridget Blakley on fb: "I know I shouldn't rant [count you out] but poverty is a crime in the US punishable by death." [Bridget was about to find out how right she was.]

This coming week's forecast: 31/24 and rain every day. Subject to change and reality, of course.

there's a planet where clocks rule time, 8
where nothing new disturbs the day 8
Everyone knows the proper way 8
rhythm's forbidden; there is no rhyme 8
poetry shuns this world 6

and there's a place where no one goes 8
it's dangerous to narrow minds 8
that cannot grasp the jewels they find 8
among the ancient books of prose 8
and tomes of poetry 6

where there's music there's melody 8
and where's there's joy one sees the art 8
weaving wonder within the hearts 8
whilst phrases echo endlessly 8
and know it's poetry 6

15 lines 8/8/8/8/6 abbax no-name-form for "Invalid Item


*Muglv* 03/06/66

Queen's Day

*Checkv* blog. Phyllis/Lilli/Sorji 08:24
*Checkv* obsv. Slight breeze tickling the leaves, shade from a passing cloud, yellow swallowtail, workout/playground colors: red, gold and green, two hooters (herons?), small cotton puffs. 10:50
*Checkv* Exor. 100/50/50/200 = 400 Took it easy. 10:50
*Checkv* blog. Phyllis/Lilli/Sorji 08:24
*Checkv* ss&s. 11:20
*Clock2* เที่ยง 97°F 36°C *Clouds**Sun* Rain in the forecast.
*Checkv* PorP. "Waiting for Jack 13:45
*Checkv* foto. Nong Bua, Wat, video of Pan eating. Dog on red carpet. 16:30
*Checkv* Walk. 17:00 82 degrees
*Checkv* Thai. Days/colors https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JLaz2D6f9Bw 17:50
pood. นิดนอย
*Moon*
*Checkv* tvBL. Our Skyy คาธ | EP.1:1-2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tguDILOBcI4
*Xv* Pool.

"Chapter One

Forgotten among the zoysia, now faded sepia, all color drained after Summer fled south... one lone baseball faces the coming cold and Jack Frost's arrival. Will Jack want to play ball? 29w

empty and silent 5
a round object sitting 6
on bleached out grass 4

I was laid to rest 36 hours ago; but my back doesn't like cold hard rock. I snuck past Mary-the-mourner not to wake her up. I craved a bowl of rice. 7/11 was open so I bought two and came back to leave one for Mary. She would be hungry when she woke up. I went for a walk. Never came back.

That's my story. At least the one I experienced. I've seen other recounts of that last week but I won't bother correcting them. I have more important unfinished business to attend to. I've moved on from the trauma.

Next time I die though, please put a toe tag with my true identity: "unknown".
127w

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/what-people-misunderstand-about-nimbys/ar-AA1c...

40 word prompts for the following dates:-
06/01/2023- 'You'
06/02/2023- 'new'
06/03/2023-'cylinder'
06/04/2023-fantastic'
06/05/2023-'goal'
06/06/2023- 'Up and down'
06/07/2023-reciprocal'
06/08/2023-'behind'
06/09/2023-'shadow'
06/10/2023-'save'

The view from the swing had always been lonely, except on Tuesday afternoons when ghosts gathered and his sister joined his vigil. "Hook of the Book

สลึง = 1/4 baht.

17:00 82 degrees and sprinkles on the way back from the Wat where Pan made merit on this holy day, Visakha Buja Day.

To Erik Petersen: "Art Nouveau is wonderful in many ways. Ålesund in Norway was rebuilt around 1910 in Art Nouveau and Riga is known for it. Brisbane has ordinances requiring buildings to include art. Over time it will surpass Sydney architecturally; Melbourne is bland. So are most modern American cities. At least a place like Dubai is promoting buildings-as-sculpture. Missoula? Mostly boring. But it needn't be that way. For those who cite the expense I beg to differ. Art is a minimal expense with a huge impact. As long as Americans demand uniformity and conformity (looking at U... Utah Valley) and not encouraging or even allowing self-expression this will be a problem. When Art is considered the play-thing of the wealthy instead of a right accessible by all this is the sad result."

"A TV Show Called Earth" (Philip Labes) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXuPF2XmQWo

*Lightning**Rain* Around 9 pm it came crashing down. Wonderful! 80°F Westerly gusts.

*Mugb* 02/06/66

*Yawn*
*Checkb* foto. 08:20 Shadows, patterns
*Checkb* Exor. 200/50/50/200 = 500 08:30 81°F
*Checkb* ss&s. 09:15
*Checkb* rent. 11:45 Paid 4 months July through October.
*Clock2* 12 เที่ยง *Sun* 35°C Hot. Will it rain?
*Checkb* PorP. "Decade by decade. 12:44
*Checkb* blog. Lyn/Annette/Sonali 13:06
*Checkb* obsv. kid's shoes, worker watering, wet shadows, thunder, rainbow 17:30
*Moon*
pood. นิดนอย
*Checkb* Walk. 19:00
*Checkb* Shop. 19:00 lotus, rose, fish, Milo. Pan bought 10 six-packs of 1.5 liter bottled water for 416 baht. 90 liters at 4.6 baht/liter (= 13 US cents/liter).
*Checkb* Thai. Daily routines https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ab-7F54b0dQ 22:21
*Checkb* tvBL. Be My Favorite. 21:30
*Xb* Pool.

I was cooler this morning. If I can get to the workout station around 8 it's not bad. The towers cast long shadows. In June the workout station is in the shadow of tower A2.

I feel like s***. I'm tired, weak, distraught, depressed.

*Mugo* 01/06/66

*Yawn*
*Checko* ss&s. 08:30
*Checko* visa. 09:20 till July 1st
*Clock* 12 เที่ยง *Sun*
*Checko* blog. Carol/Stik/Pumpkin 12:30
*Checko* wash. Pan decided that today was the day. 13:45
*Checko* Thai. 30 phrases https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNHBND20ti8 14:13
*CheckO* Exor. 100/50/75/300 = 525. I was 100 degrees. Used gloves. 16:18
*CheckO* Foto. Work station, thunderheads. 17:45
*Moon*
*CheckO* tvBL. 20:30 Skyy 2 ... ATOTS meets BadBuddies. This episode kinda works.
*CheckO* Pool. 20:00 I was able to float on my back! First time since I was a child.
*Checko* PorP. blog entry "After all this time I'm still me 20:45
*Checko* obsv. Thunder, lightning! Rain at 9 pm. frog croak, glistening slippery sidewalks. The gate to the wat closed, late night diners, puddles, the pool like bath water. 22:30
*CheckO* Walk. 22:30 26°C
pood. นิดนอย

I need to write to this: "Quotation Inspiration: Official Contest "A million dreams are keeping me awake"

I'm exhausted. At least I reconnected with David. I have no friends here at the moment. He suggested the Sport's Bar in the red-light district. Guess some friendly Australians hang out there.

38C degrees at 13:49. I got up to 100F. There was thunder to the west. Big angry clouds. Got a decent photo. Wish the windows were clean.

Forgot that I'm Premium-plus! and can set up another blog. Welcome: "Bibimbap 비빔밥 Plus I can add photos!

Cardamom... earthy, piney; bite of cinnamon, nutmeg... earthy, sweet; cloves fragrant, anise licorice,

Prison slang: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/11-slang-terms-you-ll-only-hear-in-prison-a...

*Mugg* 31/05/66

30°C at 08:11. *Sun**Clouds* Nursing a coffee. Today: work on writing. Try not to stress about tomorrow (Immigration - visa), Friday (Rent?), Saturday (Holy Day วันวิสาขบูชา Visakha Bucha, Queen's birthday, offices closed and also on Monday the 5th, Buon Bang Fai in Roi Et).

*Yawn*
*Checkg* Exor. 200/50/50/200 No problems. 09:20
*Checkg* blog. Neva/Judith/JohnnnyO 10:50
*Checkg* ss&s. 11:10
*Checkg* Thai. 5 tones https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNhjPTkBeKw 11:37
*Clock* 12 เที่ยง
*Checkg* PorP. "Snakeheads [180.51] 16:00 needs edit
*Moon*
*Checkg* Walk. 19:00
*Checkg* Foto. Yellow and purple flowers. Pool. 19:30
*Checkg* Pool. 19:45
*Checkg* tvBL. Our Skyy 2 Bad Buddy meets ATOTS... wtf... 21:30
*Checkg* obsv. Bird chasing bug, dappled shadows; thunderheads.
pood. A little.
mess. A little.

Breakfast/frokost: White rice and grilled chicken and grilled pork. I added chopped peanuts and sauce and sliced cucumber. 10:20

To Judith: "I didn't know I had rights growing up. Just being me was 'wrong'. Americans want to vote on everything but refuse to acknowledge the personal freedom to define oneself.

I believe in Human Rights. Americans don't. Which is why your comment "We are not free to inflict damage on other people's rights. is so important imho.

I know that I'm generalizing; but, I have experienced being the recipient of other people's angers, fears and ignorance."

ss&s: morning routines freshening up. May seem silly to most folks but years of depression and not giving-a-rats-ass means that it has to be on my list. I need to 'work' today. It would be easy to just ignore getting dressed, hygiene, eating or anything else on my list.

Thai conjoined twins: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v2LSdPvPRFA

I entered the Senior contest. "Sunsets of Sunflowers
Trying to enter "What a Character! : Official WDC Contest
"Snakeheads
"Elemental

*Muglp* 30/05/66

*Yawn*
*Checkp* blog. Elizabeth/Ken/Tracker 09:10
*Checkp* obsv. partly cloudy cotton puffs, the sun plays with the shadows; shade, sticky, barely a breeze, black&white feathers in flight, pesky flies, my bite itchy, reddened, not healing, whoop of a bird. 10:25
*Checkp* Exor. 200/100/100/200 10:40 88 degrees and *Clouds*
*Checkp* ss&s. 11:40
*Sun**Clouds*
*Checkp* Thai. Tones: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXWiObQ9xu8 13:45
*Checkp* tvBL. พระจันทร์มันไก่ Ep.8 online. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NIMM-79wRno It ends. 17:00
*Moon*
*Checkp* Walk. 19:00
*Checkp* Foto. 19:00
*Checkp* Pool. 20:00
*Checkp* PorP. 21:15 "Haiku [180.49]
*Xp* pood.

*Sun* 86 degrees at 08:14

Alice bunnied across the room like a wounded grasshopper, zig-zagging as if her life depended on it. When she entered the board meeting she let go like a rock-slide taking out two executives. The CEO smiled. "Spare?" She thundered and let go a torrent. 44w

Entered Shadows & Light: "HERE LIES A QUEER

I'm not going to beat up Cruz on this: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/ted-cruz-calling-uganda-s-anti-gay-law-h...

TO @victorhugolab "Exactly... I saw those comments too and thought WTF? My boyfriend's mother is 60 but looks 40 by-the-way, so even that is lost on Westerners. My experience is global so I agree that the audience is Asia and specifically Thailand. I stated to someone else: "Jim/Jam are early? 40s and GenX/Millenial. They would have been through the coup d'état of 1991, 2006 and 2014. Isan (Sakon Nakhon where they are from) has been more progressive, more leftist, more Lao, more rural and more repressed than the powers in Bangkok. This may be lost on Westerners as these issues cannot be approached directly. Wen is often seen wearing orange... which is the color of the young progressives that just won the elections on May 14th. Subliminal or intentional? Possibly." I'm in Udon Thani and really appreciate the ways these BL series include culture and language. The silly boy-meets-boy in a private school in Bangkok origins have become deeper with genres added (horror, mystery, crime, etc.) and, with the financial backing, incredible cinematography, great OSTs, and A level actors (Khaotung, Earth, First, among them). They also address mental illness, deafness, disabilities, poverty, physical illness... they are expanding into showing everyday life, including actors who are not bleached-blond Western-wannabes or ethnic Thais (or Thais with light-skinned Chinese heritage) from Central Thailand."

It was 98 in the late afternoon. It was hard taking a walk. I did see a toad/frog and a skink. Got some photos, but overall it was a bust. I came back exhausted to find no one home as Pan decided to go swimming without me. I did join him but this does not make me happy.

*MugY* 29/05/66

Chronologically:
*Yawn*
*Checky* Exor. 200/50/50/300 ish. A small boy in diapers wanted to join me. *HeartO* 88 degrees. 11:40 = late.
*Sun*
*Checky* obsv. Yesterday; puddles, jet overhead, running to catch Pan, slight pain of the twist, yellow leaves and flowers, slippery tiles, dog bark, moto-roar. Today: young boy looking, thinking, playing. Faint clouds. Rick's cigarette. Pan splayed out in bed. 12:34
*Checky* ss&s. 12:55
*Checky* PorP. Comb/goat/island They climb trees. They eat fruit, s*** nuts, that we collect, that we press into oil. rake the ground then comb your hair. No woman is an island when goats must be tended. "In Sousse-Massa [180.48] ((8)) 13:07
*Checky* Foto. Food. 14:00
*Checky* tvBL. พระจันทร์มันไก่ EP.7:1 online. Reaction by Javi. 17:00
*Xy* Pool. Pannya didn't want to tonight.
*Moon*
*Checky* Walk. 18:30
*Checky* Shop. 18:30 local market for vegetables, pork. Pannya cooked.
*Checky* blog. Storm/Stik/Whirls/NormaJean 20:09
*Checky* Thai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NoV4AFQ8UIY 22:30
pood. Spoke a few words but not really.
mess. Pannya made breakfast for me, swept the floor. I did a little.

I wrote a blog entry based on my poem, put it on the Newsfeed as well. "Maya Angelou's advice... when will I know better?

so far it looks like a productive day; but, I'm unhappy. Lost 4.200+ words that were supposed to become a blog entry. Can't redo it tonight. I rejected Pannya's food because the egg was runny and the veggies under-cooked. I'm not upset with him but he may think that I am. I cringe over raw eggs. I can't chew raw vegetables. My teeth are bad. I explained that they need to be chopped. I hope I'm not stressing him as he gets depressed easily. So... I need to smile. *Smile*

May 22, 2023 at 12:25am
May 22, 2023 at 12:25am
#1049950
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28/05/66

*Checkr* blog. Critic/AmyJo/Tigger 09:55
*Checkr* Exor. 200/100/50/200 10:30
*Checkr* Walk. 11:30
*Checkr* Foto. 12:00
*Checkr* ss&s. 12:30
*Checkr* shop. Pannya needed goggles, food (always) and we saw the Little Mermaid. 18:30
*Checkr* Pool. 20:15
*Checkr* tvBL. UMG 21:00
*Checkr* Thai. 22:55
*Xr* PorP.

To Cricket: "I think it could help me write a skeleton of a story that I could then revise.

Or... it could create entertainment and I'd never have to read nor write again.

We already have enough entertainment available on-line. There isn't any need to leave the cave, interact with real people or create anything new. We won't live long enough to listen to all the music on youtube or learn everything at wikipedia.

It can lead to stagnation: the regurgitation of yesterday's offerings."

"I was 100 years old the day you were born. I'm only 82 now. Together we'll always be 100. May you live so long so you can see me as a youth and I can see my childhood again."

Pannya believes in rituals and keeping the cultural norms... so, of course, he ordered enough food for both of us even though I didn't want to eat. We took half home. Which is fine with me. I tried to explain, but we're in Thailand.

Earlier... it rained in the morning, not as hot a day. Gloomy but by night a beautiful moon and Venus.

My life is getting into a rut. The good news: I'm doing okay. The bad: I'm very isolated and have no friends.

27/05/66

*Checkv* Exor. 200/100/50/250. 09:15
*Checkv* ss&s. 10:40
*Checkv* Fast. Finished breakfast at 10:55. Pannya cooked fish and rice.
*Checkv* blog. Joy/Neva/Robert 11:24
*Checkv* Foto. 13:15
*Checkv* Walk. 13:15
*Checkv* PorP. "Run, run, run [180.47] M#19 40w 15:45
*Checkv* tvBL. พระจันทร์มันไก่ | EP.6 1-4 "I can live anywhere. But it's damn lonely." 18:00 (again on TV)
*Checkv* Pool. 20:00
*Checkv* Thai. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU0k13dr7_k EP.1 22:20

It was 80 at 8 am, 87 at 10 am. Partly cloudy. Wish it would rain. Most likely tomorrow. 85 at 21:14. After the swim... ate what Pannya had cooked: rice with pork, raisins...

Observations: A woman blowing bubbles for a little girl, my burn has healed, bite still reddened, tree-loppers, floor-swishers, phone-talkers, sod-layers? tile-fixers? (both not today),

40 words:
05/27/2023-'run' I would walk away. As fast as I should. I would say little. Nothing if I could. Don't want your crumbs. Don't think it's fun. I'm not so dumb. I'm not your chum. Stultify, nullify, justify, petrify. Good guy? bad guy? bye-bye and I run, run, run. 47 Edited, posted.
05/28/2023-'wish'
05/29/2023-'will'
05/30/2023-'next'
05/31/2023-'prime'

26/05/66

*Checkb* Exor. 300/50/50/200 10:30 Cut back on twisting and swaying. My back isn't 100%
*Checkb* cook. rice, pork, duck-eggs, quail eggs, onion, green, cabbage... 11:00
*Checkb* ss&s. 12:30
*Checkb* blog. Sorji/Gemini/Cappucine 13:05
*Checkb* tvBL. พระจันทร์มันไก่ | EP.5 1-4 16:30 บทกวีของปีแสง (You Are My Favorite, Botkawi Khong Pisaeng) 21:30
*Checkb* Foto. 18:45
*Checkb* Walk. 19:00
*Checkb* Pool. 19:50 Something bit me.
*Checkb* PorP. 20:15 "This weight of water [180.46] M#18 40w
*Checkb* Thai. LTT S2:11-13 23:00

84 degrees at 11:10. Cloudy. 89 degrees at 19:10. Not as hot today.

Pannya thinks I'm hot... *Bigsmile*

So I took my temp.

97.9.

Guess I'm not.

But truthfully? I feel a bit feverish and listless. I'm worn out.

But at least Pannya thinks I'm hot. *Vamp*

14:01... lying in bed under the a/c watching "Moonlight Chicken". I ate a bit more. Wonder whether that will help or not.

Pannya focuses on rules and rituals. He interrupts me when I'm writing or doing something important to me because I've broken one of the rules and that must be attended to first.

This. This is why the Swiss aren't known for expressive creativity. Fortunately they can be a haven for folks like Tina Turner... but she would never have become her creative self growing up there.

บทกวีของปีแสง (You Are My Favorite, Botkawi Khong Pisaeng) is new... and twisted. Vi får se.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JmcA9LIIXWw

25/05/66

*Checko* Exor. 200/50/50/200 84 degrees and an easterly breeze. 08:40
*Checko* blog. Harlow/Judith/Dianne 10:30
*Checko* Wash. 12:50 Pannya washes the clothes
*Checko* tvBL. พระจันทร์มันไก่ EP.4:3-4 online. 13:45 TV: Our Skyy 2 is an annoying farce. Thumbs down.
*Checko* rose. white 15:00
*Checko* Foto. rain video, tattoo, market, Lumpini 15:15
*Checko* Walk. 14:30-15:30 slow walk getting wet.
*Checko* shop. eggs, greens, light bulb, TP. 18:30
*Checko* Pool. 19:20
*Checko* ss&s. 19:30
*Checko* PorP. "HERE LIES A QUEER [180.44] ((8)) "The best, the better, and the rest [180.45] M#17 40w 20:55
*Checko* Thai. LLT S2:8-13 23:05

07:26 and 81 degrees. May have sprinkled. May sprinkle again. May not get as hot today!

Saw three monks walking with a helper (novice?) with a cart following. The street behind us seemed busier at 7 then it will be later. Also: bumblebee, women in a pink blouse high stepping, an ant among the fragrant orchids, heavy equipment making noises, one hoot by the southbound 08:20 train, finches, mynas, the elevator floor still damp from being mopped.

93 degrees at 14:00 and getting dark. It poured around 14:30 and cooled down drastically. Now 80 degrees at 18:00. May rain again overnight. One can hope. The land still thirsts. Another slurp would be best.

To Harlow "Oh... I'll hop in! One of the issues of Western Christian culture is a dualism that goes back at least to the time of Moses and Zoroaster. The right/wrong black/white paradigm does not allow for other options found naturally (like 3 lobed, 4 lobed, 5 lobed leaves and repetitive patterns of fractals).

If modern-day Christians would learn something from Biology 101 they wouldn't be puzzled by multi-gender cultures found around the world. With their insistence on purity (my way or the way to hell) they have unintentionally killed and, intentionally, murdered millions.

In Thailand "lady boys" are referred to as lady boys and lesbians are tom or dee. In biology, XXY, XXX, and X are well-known among geneticists and secondary sexual manifestations are just accepted as such. Fascinating knowledge, but Christians cannot cope with anything outside of the narrow high-walled, deep-moat, gated existence of the self-righteous.

I have had acquaintances and friends in all of these categories. But... I'm old. It took time to actually meet people because not everyone felt safe decades ago and still don't. A certain openness, on my part and theirs, helped. It would have happened sooner but I was very shy and private growing up. Still am about many things.

As far as chopping "things" off... eunuchs didn't always have a choice. Apparently, they were considered safe among women (google 'eunuch'... quite fascinating) and accepted in roles that restricted men.

In a gender dichotomy without a trans category (or any other options) I accept a person as whatever they say and however they present themselves."

The Hill we die on will be blood stained with the miscarriage of justice, just us shouting through the silence of those muted by your dogmatic bigotry gifted to you by generations of hatred and fear. Hear us when we say queer. Hear us when we shout queer. Bury us with the epitaph, here lies a Queer. We will shout from the graveyard, my dear. ((8))

"​@tinagary3696 MSTSL ... make sure your learn Thai (American-French sign family) not Taiwanese (Chinese-Korean sign family) sign language. In Thailand you could do both. I'm in Udon Thani in Isan (Thai/Lao speaking with a large Vietnamese community). No need to stay in Bangkok or the beach unless that's your preference. This series is placed in Pattaya, a major ex-pat party hub but Thailand is big and amazingly diverse. Visit as a traveler (one month max is good for a 30 day visa) then fall in love with the people in a place that speaks to you."

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/why-i-like-ron-desantis/ar-AA1bEVx3?cvid...

24/05/66

*CheckG* Exor. 200/100/100/300 09:20
*Checkg* Foto. Flowers, gazebo, workers 09:30
*Checkg* blog. Robert/Brian/Elizabeth 10:15
*Checkg* ss&s. 10:40
*Checkg* PorP. "At the zenith [180.43] M#16 40w 11:15
*Checkgr* Walk. To UD Town. Shopped at Lotus. 19:00
*Xgr* Pool. I got bit and Pannya won't let me swim until it's okay.
*Checkgr* Thai. LLT S2: 8-10 22:00
*Checkgr* tvBL. พระจันทร์มันไก่ EP.4:1-2 online. Our Skyy 2. 22:25

88 degrees at 09:44 which isn't so bad. My body is definitely getting used to the heat, but I still must be careful. Part of my problem yesterday may have been the walk I took when it was stifling hot.

I'm finally eating left-over rice with an egg. It's 10:50 and 90 outside with barely a flutter (3 mph) of a breeze.

98 degrees at 14:00 and no rain. *Worry* We need the rain and I need a break from the extreme heat.

23:57 ... pee and go to bed. *Yawn* 81 degrees. I don't think it rained in town.

The Hill We Climb (or is it the hill we die on) https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/author-of-poem-removed-from-florida-school-fir...

40 words:
05/24/2023-'Golden' Retrieved: At the zenith a golden retriever smiles as always, happy to be loved, even happier to return that love. Whatever is thrown his way he brings back, again and again. Nothing is ever lost, not a ball, not a toy, not one stray happy thought. He always finds what his master is looking for. For him, that's enough. 57w Edited, posted.
05/25/2023-"The Best" the better and the rest. In your world of morality/venality/normality/exceptionality /totality, we who are merely mediocre dare not apply our exceptionality nor bow to your totality.
05/26/2023-'depth' Depression Glass: At the bottom what lies above crushes (the lies above crush the crystal vase that contains our soul). Yet this weight holds bones and flesh and thoughts in place. In the shallows all pain and sorrow would be released and dispersed. He returns to the depths to hold on to his treasures. 40w
Served on a platter: Breakfast was served on her very best china by her favorite eunuch of a husband. Her second favorite had served her earlier in bed. She felt sated by the mere memory of salty sweat. She'd taken two hot showers just to savor and relive them.

Character Prompt for May 2023:

Whatacharacter: An opsimath is someone who begins to learn or study only late in life.
Write a story about an opsimath of an unusual field or subject matter.

Once a May Queen, once a maiden, then a vampire, now immortal, the memories of a sunlit pasture with sunny flowers would lose all color. The books would have to do. As would the friendly mole and badger. They brought food ... now and then ... she had suffered on crumbs above ground. Here she would be grateful for less.

she listened to the gurgle of water; each whoosh or trickle told her what season it was and carried the news from above. she withdrew into the liminal space between here and there where nothing mattered.

she studied the language of water. It was older than her and she'd always valued the wisdom of elders. she cupped some in her hand. hot or cold, clear or murky/foggy in a rush or languid she knew the messages they conveyed. Her journals held the notes of one thousand years and the tears of generations of humanity. she was no longer human but refused to deny that she had been born a daughter of warlike barbarians. she would die in peace, if she were ever granted her greatest wish ... to just die.

Bard: pictures and haiku.

1095327 winds among the mighty / leaves wither from fallen branches 14
1093743 jayhawk's dim view / stone framed by crab apple blossoms 13 S
1092605 a tracery of purple redbud / a puddle surrounded by friends 16 S?
1099710 old larch tree knees / what lurks beneath the pond's surface 12
1543992 october tenth leaves / red gold leaves hold on tight 11 S

entry:644820 "May all life be a calm summer morning" In the voice of a boy 16
calm july morning / voice of a boy
1551694 fragile pink blossoms / the dinner will be served late 12

To Michelle Tuesday on FB: Missed out a lot over the years. Too many doubts, too many fears. I should be grateful for this chance, one fleeting fling before Death's dance.

23/05/66

Chronologically:
*Checkp* Exor. 200/75/75/200. My back aches just a bit so I did what I could.
*Checkp* blog. Jim/Jennifer/Beholden
*Checkp* ss&s. 11:40
*Checkp* PorP. "Lordie me [180.42] M#15 40w [18+] 13:25
*CheckP* Thai. LLT S2: 6-8 14:35
*Checkp* Walk. Nong Bua 16:30
*Checkp* Foto. Nong Bua 16:30
*Checkp* Shop. Duck and quail eggs, Milo. 16:45
*Checkp* mess. Not much to do.
*Checkp* tvBL. พระจันทร์มันไก่ EP.3:1-4 20:55 online.
*Xp* Pool.

87 degrees at 09:38. Light grey cloud cover should give way to rain this afternoon. อาจมีฝนตกในช่วงบ่ายนี้ One can hope. Forecast for the week: 95/77 with rain probable. 91 degrees at 11:50. Out of the sun it doesn't feel so bad. My body has acclimated somewhat.

Notes: fragrant pink orchid, spent white trumpets, "cool" handlebars, pesky flies, twitter, clouding over, weak sun, mottled brown slug (5 cm), pigeons and doves, white, oranges, yellow, pink, violet, red flowers.

Sad/happy note: seems like the anti-ant chalk is working. I applied some last night. But... found some in the rice. *Worry*

Cooking. Pannya usually cooks but I felt like it today and he got up late as usual. Sometimes he'll get up, make rice for me, and go back to bed. He randomly cleans, so I cleaned just a tad. Noon: he's resting/sleeping.

It's 97 at 14:36 and it wants to rain. Time for a walk (with my umbrella). Didn't rain. I walked to the Chinese Cultural Center and Nong Bua. Saw Ben. Then walked across the tracks to UD Town and bought eggs at Lotus. Pannya did get up and actually cooked rice.

I'm worn out, weak, not feeling well. I'm worried about Pannya but I'm also worried about myself. Watching Moonlight Chicken makes me weepy. It's the perfect hour to call Gare... and I'm afraid.

87 degrees at 21:17. I went out for a short walk. It's now 23:40 and time to nod off... if I can.

Last night/today is the commemoration of the Declaration of The Bab.

22/05/66

Up at a decent hour. 93 degrees when I exorcised (not a typo). No oomph = did less. Air looks bad. One doesn't see air when it's good. Hopefully the rains return tomorrow. Now 97 at 11:20.

Finished my 40w. Started studying Thai. Ate some rice and fish. Coffee. Fuzzy headed. I want to take a nap.

Dancing with fears. Dance. Dance the dance macabre. Dance as if your life depends on it. It does. Dance the dance that only you can dance. Dance until you drop in a swoon for all the beauty you've created.

Random memory of Lima 1974. No clue why... was I dancing? I did feel free. I was so distraught that I'd given up. Is 'not caring' a type of 'letting go'.

Two hour nap may not have been the brightest idea. I'm groggy now at 14:49. An oppressive 95 outside. Big thunder clouds. ฝนตกแล้วเหรอ? 98 at 16:22. I really need to go for a walk. Bought bananas and took some photos.

กินข้าวกับเนย ซื้อกล้วยสิบเก้าลูก 30 baht

*Checky* PorP. "Mirror, mirror... [180.41] M#14 40w
*Checky* Thai. LLT S2:4-6
*Checky* Pool.
*Checky* Walk. Bought bananas.
*Checky* Foto. ถ่ายภาพ Dog, hat, chickens, flower. Pool.
*Checky* Exor. 100/100/100/200 Not feeling too good. ฉันควรออกกำลังกายทุกวัน
*Checky* tvBL. On-line พระจันทร์มันไก่ EP.1-EP.2
*Xbr* mess. ทำความสะอาดระเบียบ
*Checky* ss&s. I remembered without putting this here, but I should anyways. อึโกนหน้าอาบน้ำ

QOTD for Lilli: "My (almost) daily objectives *Checky* as recorded in my weekly blog "Porthole.

PorP. Poetry or prose. At the moment 40 words and Express it in 8. The bottom line: write every day.
Thai. I must practice and use Thai e.v.e.r.y day; otherwise, why am I here? Pannya has noticed my effort.
Pool. I never learned how to swim. We have a pool! So... every day I try to deal with my fears.
Walk. It means I get out, say hello or take pictures, get to know my way around or just walk for the exercise.
Foto. Flowers, culture, animals, buildings, sunsets... whatever. I've taken some underwater photos and video.
Exor. Exorcize/exercise. What's the difference. There is a 4 station work-out. I need to strengthen muscles.
tvBL. Thai BL series help me learn language, culture and helps me deal with old personal issues.
mess. I'm not as organized or orderly as I should be, so I should work on my mess to make it better.
ss&s. s***, shave and shower, etc. Sounds silly except that it's so easy to not take care of myself.

If I do these daily I make new habits. Living in another country is not a picnic."

May 15, 2023 at 7:40am
May 15, 2023 at 7:40am
#1049623
21/05/66

Up at a decent hour. A dreary 91 degrees at 09:05. Breakfast: rice gruel with pork. Workout: yellow and white butterflies, a bee, a bug, a fly, two doves and one orangeish squirrel traipsing along the fence.

*Checkr* PorP. "Nothing to do with it [180.40] M#13 40w
*Checkr* Thai. Online and book
*Checkr* Pool.
*Checkr* Walk.
*Checkr* Foto. A couple flowers.
*Checkr* Exor. 100+100/100+100/100/300 (m,m,no hands). 800 total. Not so bad when there's a bit of shade.
*Checkr* tvBL. UMG. Chicken on-line.
*Checkr* baht. Withdrew money. Since the charge is 220 baht, I usually take out 20,000 then nurse it for as long as I can.

05/21/2023-'good' I resolved to give up being perfect as there was never a past - present - future that was perfect. But I did something right by mistake and won the lottery! I swear, dear Mae, goodness had nothing to do with it1.
05/22/2023-'always' Never have I broken my heart. Torn it a few times? Sure. And my bones? A few. What about promises? Ah, there you've got me. And me in the mirror? I've learned to love you... but I'll always remember... how you hurt me.
05/23/2023- 'Lordie me' Can you write a political limerick? Sure. Lord Lundy of Lim'rick got lucky/mucky. Ron deSantis of Disney's just yucky/sucky. They met in a bar. Where under a star. They met Donald the twice loser duckie. What about Joe Biden? Joe's not bad he's just cheugy. [lounged while the lugers lost their luster] a study in alliteration or a limerick.

We have no rights to our individuality: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/mississippi-transgender-teen-will-miss-high-sc...

To Steven re "Webster": I get the impression that you didn't like it. *Laugh* Remakes and rip-offs can work as good as or better than the original, especially when the barrier to understanding is culture or language.

An example from my life: I'm sure that the movie "A Man Called Otto" is done well; but, I understood "En man som heter Ove" quite fine, thank you. It may be because of my Swedish heritage, and where as Otto as a curmudgeon has to be explained, Ove is iconic.

What the need to remake Ove does for me is highlight how Americans have lost the understanding of Europeans in a century of mixing and isolation.

To wit: Black Americans by any synonym are not Africans and Thais of Chinese heritage are not Chinese. In the US it varies by ethnic group. Swedes became americanized swifter than Norwegians; Greek Americans are still Greek... in many ways. With any group it's possible to emphasize the similarities or differences.

But back to "Webster". I don't remember the show very well. I was in a different stage of life in the 80s than you were and, as you pointed out, your sister had a totally different reaction. My older sister and I did not grow up in the same family that my younger sister did. Yes, in the same house with the same parents, but the family dynamics had changed in 8 years.

Note: I comment here because your book format only allows for reviews. With 47 entries so far you're doing a good job though."

To Stik: "Glad you explained why passing people is a problem. I didn't connect the dots.

As for potholes... why would any course have a hazard? Although, I can trip over myself on uneven pavement... so...

My legs are "short". I don't have a body suited for running. I'm a bit knock-kneed... again, not suitable. My lungs... *sigh*. Also, I'm old, but that's just a lame excuse.

I am trying to work out daily! *Shock2* But I'm not interested in strength or endurance. I'm trying to work on flexibility and lower back and thigh muscles. An ND (from Malaysia of Indian heritage working in China... gotta love hostels!) I met in Bangkok pointed out how I wasn't walking properly. His free advice was priceless."

Well... I know the word for ant, but haven't yet found ant-killer. Ah... maybe at Lotus. 12:55. The Resident Zombie has risen from his bed. 99°F 37°C. I walk slow, stick to the shade when I can. I'm vampish; heat does not amuse me.

Pannya ran out of money. He gave half to his mother because he bought a smart-phone. He ate out, bought a watch. Money lasted less than a week. 10 days left in the month and he has nothing.

To Stik: "I wasn't prepared for the isolation and lack of mobility. Without a car and with travel restrictions I was marooned in a town that closed its cafés and shut down its social life other than bars and casinos.

The anti-everything-scientific folks and the anti-everything-decent leader more than annoyed me. Anxiety and depression assailed me.

Is it over? No. Am I obsessed with it? No. How about isolation and mobility, anxiety and depression? I managed in Montana but I'm struggling here in Thailand due to language, culture and climate. Still, I feel healthier than in 2021 and 2022.

I was traumatized long before covid; but, covid didn't help because my coping skills of travel and connection were severely compromised."

20/05/66

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWBlFUnnqY4

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/andrew-sean-greer-a-gay-writer-in-search-of-tr...

How many shades of gay are there? I lived in farmland Kansas when I was 23... loved it... but deSantis has a christo-fascist vision for his Amerikkka... and that is NOT acceptable to me. Better Thailand.

*Checkv* Thai. TalkThai and book.
*Checkv* PorP. "Crow [180.39] M#12 40w
*Checkv* Exor. 100/100/100/300 (bicycle mfs medium-fast-slow) Thai.
*Checkv* Pool. Scooted along edge on my back. Making progress to 7/11. Bought soap and mouthwash.
Walk. Only a short walk.
*Checkv* Foto. At the pool, in our room.
*Checkv* tvBL. Moonlight Chicken

I'm weak and dizzy. Not a good sign. Pannya came back very late (early?). Es mejor decir la madrugada; no hay palabra en inglés. He put the a/c on freezing and that made it hard for me to sleep. I got to bed at 2 am and got up late. Nap?

Noon: 37°C = 98°F ... for the next 5 hours. Except... it may have rained and I was able to exercise when it was still a tad cloudy. Makes a huge difference.

Today is a purple day. I should buy a purple shirt this week. And a short sleeve green, pink or red one. Also a t-shirt? I have a lot of clothes... just not the right ones.

Ashishishe stood at bat. He would show the Braves who was brave today. He was brave every day. He wore his name "crow", like an emblem, in honor of his namesake. Strike 3? Tomorrow, he smiled. And all the tomorrows left to him. Apsáalooke always rose up from defeat.

So not 'into' today.

19/05/66

It's 10:07 and I'm finishing up my rice and coffee. I should do my outdoor exercise before it gets hotter. It's 91 degrees. 100 is forecast.

I eat slow.

Twin: Alberth stood there ignoring me in Uvita. I thought... out of context... maybe he didn't recognize me? I said nothing. When I saw him back home I mentioned this. He said, Oh, that's my twin Ivan. Edited and posted.

*Checkb* PorP. "Doppelganger [180.36] M#11 40w "Elegy in sepia [180.37] ((8)) photo of tree and giraffe "Breakfast's at Eight [180.38] ((8)) 40w
*Xb* Thai. Very little.
*Xb* Pool. Pannya wasn't home. I won't go in alone.
*Checkb* Walk.
*Checkb* Foto. Took a couple. Edited a few. Posted 5 at FB
*Checkb* Exor. 100/100/100/250 at 11:15. I wore gloves because the handlebars burn.
*Checkb* tvBL. End of Boss and Babe? Happy ending but it faded towards the end.

Spill the beans into a bowl, then let them soak.
Wash the rice, remove the stones.
Chop cilantro, carrots, onions, peppers, add a yolk.
Cook when daybreak dawns. Don't eat alone.
Invite family, friends and folk. Puts flesh on bones. 40w Edited, posted.

00:28. Pannya said he was back one hour ago. I wait. And wait.

18/05/66

Today is Mark's birthday. I believe it's also my college graduation day. Pan and I have been together 6 months. Bought a rose. He had his durian ice cream at Swensens.

*Checko* PorP. ""Adagio in Armagh" ... Sound of Glass ((8)) [180.35] Skipping 40 words for a day.
Mess.
*Checko* Wash. Pannya did the wash. I helped a tad.
*Checko* Thai. Spoke with Pem (she teaches children age 2-7), reviewed Video.
*Xo* Pool.
*Checko* Walk.
*Checko* Foto. Lotus and orchids.
*Checko* Exor. Did about 50/50/100/250. Not sure. I did less because it was stifling hot and the handle bars seared my flesh. 38 degrees at 5 pm. Probably hit 39 today.
*Xo* tvBL. Didn't get home in time.

How to write about a cockroach:

1. Love it. whether you write about how you hate them or love them deep-fried, it's all about you.
2. Learn how to describe it. How it breathes, moves, breeds.
3. See the world through the eyes of a cockroach. What obstacles must it overcome.

Now do this about your neighbor down the street that you hate, that you compare to...

Write about what you know and love.

To Jennifer: "Lies... do so much harm. Truth may hurt but one knows where one stands. Lies? It's like quicksand. *Care*"

Got up late. Now 11:11. I'll need to tackle my list. It does remind me that I need to make new routines and that I can't sit inside all day.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=joUEC257ZS0

17/05/66

For forty:
05/17/2023-'Mother' Mother/father. In the motherland, the fatherland, the hermaphrodictic snail doesn't care. It just waves it's eye-stalks, wear its home on its back. looks for another to share a moment, lays eggs, never raises its children.
05/18/2023-'Father'
05/19/2023-'twin' Gemini/ Albert/Ivan he didn't tell me he had an identical twin. the good twin the bad twin
05/20/2023-'brave' to brave the gloom, the wind, the cold they flee to a beach to brave the waves the wind and sand-fleas. Ah, Englishmen and dogs blister in the noon day sun.

The heat. The humidity. I breathe hard; but, my skin loves it. Any exertion is met with a huff and a puff. I walk slowly. I wear a hat. I use lotion and shower twice, thrice... Everything smells by the end of the day. For only one night, a white flower blooms fragrant, masking the ennui of a rotting listless life. It's tranquil alright. It's not the weather, as Northerners can attest, it's the clothes one wears. Here it's "cover up from the sun", and anything that bites. But it's more than wanting to peel off one's skin. I'm weary and worn out.

*Checkg* PorP. "In the Temple of Hermaphrodite [180.34] M#10 40w
*Checkg* Mess. some
*Checkg* Thai. some
*Xg* Pool.
*Checkg* Walk. Ran into Kelly from Australia.
*Checkg* Foto. three+ taken and 4 posted.
*Checkg* SS&S.
*Checkg* Exor. 200-100-50-200 cc. Dropped my key but found it.
*Checkg* tvBL. Skyy 2

Sound of Glass: Mary sags slowly like a Brahm's adagio yet tinkles like bells when struck. She's had ten too many children and now wants to crash through the ceiling before she's too worn out. She's 30. A bit of hemlock? A dash of arsenic? As the owner of her future, she'll rise to the top and give her offspring what their father can never stop. ((8))

To AL on FB: "Yes. I understand. I miss a lot from earlier stages of my life. Here I try to talk to the same people on a regular basis. They will never be my friends but it's comforting none-the-less. A swede in Norrjöping once told me that every Swede had 3 friends and didn't need another. I wish I had that many old friends. Traveling has opened the world, but cut me off from deeper relationships. Social media gives the illusion of connection; but, it's not the same as watching a parade with friends in Norway on the 17th of May and sharing an ice cream later".

16/05/66

*Checkp* PorP. "Bertha [180.33] M#9 40w
*Xp* Mess.
*XP* Thai
*XP* Pool. I won't go alone.
*Checkp* Walk. Went to the Wat west of Nong Prajak.
*Checkp* Foto. Took photos of Pan at the Wat and while he was getting a massage.
*Checkp* SS&S. Need to do daily.
*Checkp* Exor. 200-100-50-150 counterclockwise. 6 minutes.

Grateful Dead https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVF22wIKPKU
Bertha: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RaYfA7tfT1g

Bertha: She grated the carrots, julienned the jujubes, gently braised the parrots, threw it all in a pot. We were grateful when she was gone. We arranged a wake, setting in front of her portrait an offering of burnt toast with fermented fish and cheese.

Edited: "Bertha [180.33] M#9 40w

To Mighty: "We all have different personalities and the times may dictate who is best to lead.

I think of the old Cherokee paradigm. Beloved Woman decided whether the village was at peace or at war. Each of the 7 clans had peace chiefs and war chiefs. No one was best suited for everything.

Your style may not suit everyone or be the best in every situation.

So why not own that? Same with the 'problem' employee. In a family or village they would be contributing in their own way and valued for that. Drama has its uses, as does a more chaotic approach, not every aspect of life need be timed. That said, the chief may "help" them find a better position. What are this person's strengths? And can they be harnessed... elsewhere.

But, even royalty needs a jester. It keeps them humble. And you are royalty."

"You noted that I embedded the song I referred to. It helps those who are curious but unfamiliar with the song. It's also a courtesy and good form. Same with references to articles. Why make someone search for what is being referred to when a simple link will suffice.

It's common these days for the media (social media is worse) to make outrageous hyped headlines followed by a short article with no links or references to back up the premises. Journalism has suffered by by the click-bait monetization of information while facts are less important than ka-ching ka-ching. I shouldn't have to fact-check e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g

I travel. I'm not a tourist bureau. No one pays me to tell you about the garbage in the canals of Paris or the river that runs through Peja in Kosovo, or the stench of durian in Udon Thani or stinky tofu in Tainan, Taiwan, or how black-out curtains are a must in Norway. I write from personal experience for nothing, and it hurts to know that many writers are paid for their lies."

15/05/66

Beautiful or buttfull? Each scar, each mole, each imperfection reminds me that I once was young and self-conscious, thinking that I was ugly, unaware that age would rob me of what I once had. Post-acne and pre-wrinkle... I had my moments in the sun.

Swimming wouldn't be so bad if it didn't involve water. I shudder each time I go under. Like anesthetic... wondering whether I will ever surface.

*CheckY* PorP. "Moments in the sun [180.32] M#8 40w
*XBr* Thai
*CheckY* Pool. Made some progress addressing my fear. Took underwater video. Sent it to Pan.
*CheckY* Walk

Elections in Thailand were mostly uneventful. The military must accept the voice of the people clamoring for change... at least for now.
7309

Footnotes
1  In 1959, [Mae] West released her bestselling autobiography, Goodness Had Nothing To Do With It, recounting her life in show business.

May 8, 2023 at 12:27am
May 8, 2023 at 12:27am
#1049345
14.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Mighty: The Kong. The Moon. All rivers flow from high to low. Not all reach the sea. But here... where ricefields flood then overflow and mighty river banks cannot stem the flow... only redirect it... we watch the water take it all away, leaving us bereft and those downstream... drowning. 45+4w Edited in "Floodplains [180.30] M#7 40w

I posted on FB: "I remember special meals in my life: my father making milk-toast when my sister and I were sick; mother making fudge; my uncle and cousin cooking fat burgers on the grill. When I traveled to Hayfield, Mavis tried to kill me with a full English breakfast (bless her) and Cecilie Liv Moe braised whale in cream sauce when I visited her in Tromsø. I dare not forget never-ending Tim Tams in Wangi Wangi (thanks to Dirk and Linda Visman). What do these memories hold in common? They were shared with love and kindness. Kindness isn't fancy nor does it draw attention to itself. Love is freely given in the large or small doses of daily life. It's what has kept me alive."

My mother (1922-2022) would have been 101 last week. My father (1916-1999) lived as long as he did because of my mother. I'm in my last stage of life (for an unknown passage of time). Pannya is cooking rice and went to Seven-Eleven and brought me back snacks. I may live longer and healthier (even if only for a short time) due to his care.

It's 10:12. I'm foggy. I got up very early to watch the results of Eurovision. No surprise that the juries loved Loreen and gave her an insurmountable lead. The audience in the hall and the voters at home were enthusiastic for Käärijä and voted him first by a wide margin. In some ways there were two winners: Sweden and Finland. Israel, Italy and Norway rounded out the top 5.

*Checkr* Thai
*Xr* Pool Pan had gone before I got back and I won't go in water alone.
*Checkr* Walk Bought sandwiches from Vigo.
*Checkr* PorP "Floodplains [180.30] M#7 40w
*Checkr* Sh&L "Letting go

Thai:
ไป go
อยู่ stay
มา come
กลับมา come back

อยากไปศรีสะเกษ . พักสามคืน . เที่ยวศรีสะเกษ 1 วัน . เที่ยวขุนหาญ 1 วัน. (Xyāk pị ṣ̄rīs̄akes̄ʹ.phạk s̄ām khụ̄n.theī̀yw ṣ̄rīs̄akes̄ʹ 1 wạn.theī̀yw k̄hunh̄āỵ 1 wạn.)

อยากไปเที่ยวชัยภูมิ มหาสารคาม ร้อยเอ็ด มุกดาหาร พิมาย (Xyāk pị theī̀yw chạyp̣hūmi mh̄ās̄ārkhām r̂xyxĕd mukdāh̄ār phimāy)

ฉันอยากไปเที่ยวกับคุณและถ่ายรูปคุณ (c̄hạn xyāk pị theī̀yw kạb khuṇ læa t̄h̀āyrūp khuṇ)

อยากเที่ยวทุกอาทิตย์! (xyāk theī̀yw thuk xāthity̒!)

ฉันต้องการวิดีโอที่คุณร้องเพลง (C̄hạn t̂xngkār widīxo thī̀ khuṇ r̂xngphelng)

must/want: ฉันต้องการไป ฉันต้องเดิน ฉันต้องไป

Thai elections went on without a hitch. The two main opposition parties are mopping up as expected. Udon Thani definitely supports the opposition, especially Preut Thai.

13.เดือนพฤษภาคม

A bit damp and a bit dull and only 78 degrees this morning. Easterlies will bring rain and maybe maybe a high of 82.

*Checkv* Walk. Checked on visa. La Malila is open. Bought toilet paper.
*Xv* Pool. Pannya came home late. I don't go into water by myself.
*Xv* Thai. Not enough to count.
*Checkv* tvBL. Watched half of Moonlight Chicken.
*Checkv* Euro. Followed and watched what I could.
*Checkv* Cook. Pannya usually cooks, but what I prepared (chopped up vegs and pork, fish, shrimp in rice with egg) turned out well.
*Checkv* Visa. Went to office got info about Non O visa, bank, types of visa.

Apparently I can keep doing what I'm doing. 2 months, leave, 2 months, leave, 2 months, leave... For now that would be renew June 1 until June 30, leave for 2 days or two weeks, come back after July 13, renew August 11 leave Sept 9. Something like that. Renewal is 1.900 baht. Malaysia: Thai free; Cambodia: $30+fee beforehand or on arrival. Thai is free for 14 days; Viet Nam: US on airplane arrival $25? Thai is visa-free for 30 days; Myanmar: $50 ETA? for 28 days; Thai is visa-free <14 days; Singapore: no visa fee? Thai is visa-free; Brunei: US visa-free <90d; Thai is visa-free.

Tonight is Eurovision. Two favorites: Finland (call-in votes), Sweden (jury), and maybe France as a sleeper (old fashioned). Slovenia is nice but doesn't have the energy. Australia has the energy but doubt that it will be enough. The audience Tuesday night was more than enthusiastic for Finland's "Cha Cha Cha". My insane (because I really don't understand millenial/gen-z Europeans: 1. Finland 2. Sweden 3. Spain (just enough to please televoters and jury).

I didn't sleep well. Bed fairly early. Pannya joined me at 01:30.

I looked at my under-water photos last night, edited a few, and sent them to Pannya. He was very happy. Posted one at FB.

Sneezing... may not be 100% well. Pannya snoozes.

O Easy on the Eyes. You snooze. I sneeze. And the world whirls with or without us. In pictures you'll always be a teenage geek... or a handsome young man. You'll wrinkle long after I'm gone. Not because I want to move on; but, Death doesn't wait. It embraces. 48w

12.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Walk *Checkb*
Pool *Checkb* Plus underwater photos
Visa progress... got info.
Thai *X* very little... too late, too tired
7-11 *Checkb* Lotus
Boss *Checkb*

The Baily's beads effect or diamond ring effect is a feature of total and annular solar eclipses. As the Moon covers the Sun during a solar eclipse, the rugged topography of the lunar limb allows beads of sunlight to shine through in some places while not in others.

Read the beads along the edge of the moon. 10
Decipher their message. Heed what they know,10
and what you will know — soon enough. 8

Life hangs tough and each bead of hope brightens 10
the day. Shine on. Shine on. Do not dismay. 10
The future speaks along the edge 8

where sun peeks through. Leave bad habits behind; 10
seek the Light that will guide your way. 8

Edited: in "Script of the Eclipse [180.28]

Swimming... a bit of progress. I really don't like water so I need to overcome my fears. I will say that the water was quite warm and that helps. Plus Pannya was there in case I had problems. I took some underwater photos that turned out okay. Pan was pleased.

Pan cooked seafood and earlier sea bass. Very tasty but I'll gain weight if I eat like he does.

Yesterday: 80.9 kg. = 169.80+016.98 = 176.78 = 177 lb. I would like to lose weight slowly to 170 lb. At least I still weigh less than 13 stone.

Nice rain this evening. We needed it.

11.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Watched Malaysia beat Thailand 2-1 in one round of Sepak Takraw (SEA Games in Cambodia). I've seen it played in a park in Udon Thani. Bicycle kicks are its main feature.

It sprinkled while we swam last evening and I believe it rained overnight. Thought I heard thunder. It may rain today and all day tomorrow.

Not as hot. 88/76 forecast.

Today's objectives:

Walk *Checko*
Pool *X*
Wash *CheckO*
Thai *Check*
Rose *X*

Monkeys: Not a luau. Not hot pot.

I would find out what his favorite dish is. And who he wants to invite... and how many. Then I would ban bananas.

I loved giving 'parties' every other Wednesday night... years ago. I would send out invitations. Average of 10-12 friends and friends of friends.

I hosted a barbecue for 15 years every August. Mostly around 30 friends, neighbors, co-workers came. Never family. Two years there were around 80 guests. One year... 150.

But... a party for me? No, I don't like parties for myself.

This year a friend made a cake for his birthday. We ate it the next day at a mutual friend's place... on my birthday. Just the 3 of us. No gifts. No fuss. Just pleasant company. I would want to do the same for you-know-who.

Monkeys would only be allowed if he wanted them there.
Edited in "Not a luau [13+] P#4

05/11/2023-"The Night" Tropical, Arctic? He relishes moonlight, slinks through the shadows of daybreak, sleeps at high noon. He doesn't like exposure to the sun or the harsh reality of poverty. Black is the color of my true love's hair. I wish it truly were him.
05/12/2023- 'afresh' Like durian or here we go again? anew again abounding adumbrate aright afterwards apace
05/13/2023-'lovely' or handsome?
05/14/2023-'mighty' like the Menam Kong or Menam Mun?

Chevro-legs or Lambugh-feetie

10.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Green. I want more green. Anything that's been watered is green. The orange-flowered trees are ablaze. Everything else is the dun color of dust.

"Moon over Lithuania [180.24]
"Rain washes away my brain [180.25]

Ate a mushroom-cheese burger at Koala. 109 baht.

Bought spoons, forks, a basket, a plastic container, floral spray. Also roti and strawberry ice cream.

I wore my long-sleeve green shirt. 97 degrees. Wore hat and carried umbrella.

Walk *Checkg*
Pool *Checkg*

I lived in the garden in Spring and Autumn. Summer and Winter I sought refuge in the closet. I...have been through many seasons.

House #1 I stayed out of the cellar. I lived there for less than 2 years.
House #2 I never did get into my attic. I lived there for 13 years. I rarely went into the basement.
House #3 I slept in a closet with a window facing the dawn. 3 years was a life sentence.

Since my nightmares revolve around mistakes, I may never own a house again.

Poland: She'll squeeze the s*** out of you if you let her. Bring her chocolate, flowers, wine. She'll smile and squeeze you harder. She has been fought over many times, her fields plundered. But she survived. She don't take s*** from nobody. 41w

9.เดือนพฤษภาคม

I'm home. Finally. Took a week. Long flights, 2 days to decompress and then waiting to reconnect so we could go home together. Home is Udon Thani, Thailand and a shared bed.

My phone is on ICT. My chromebook is on MDT. It's 22:36 in NYC/EDT. 20:36 in Montana/MDT. But it's a cloudy 09:36 in Udon Thani (May 9th). We are expecting rain for a week. *Rain*

I'm going to try to write 40 words/day. Midnight = 11:00 here. I also want to catch up at WdC.

Am I getting stronger as I age? Bones become brittle, muscles soften, brain atrophies; but, I do notice how everything around me has become stronger. If the stench of my rotting flesh could fend off the future... I'd live forever.

"Like bleu cheese [180.22] M#1 40w

I dragged myself out of bed at 3 a.m. to scratch something on a notepad. Glad I did. The thoughts had fled by morning. But... backing up... it was a long 9 hour bus ride (5 p.m.-2 a.m.) and we had been gone for one month. Turn on the a/c, take a shower, yada yada yada.

To Judith: "Ah... the humor... I do dark better than humor *Laugh*.

I loved dark sweet red wine. It loved me. We divorced almost 50 years ago.

I do love cubby-holes. I'd prefer a room that has a window, books on the wall, a cozy high-backed chair... fantasy. Oh... and a cup of coffee. My daily exercise would be to make more coffee unless there's a garden to work in and wander through. *PoseyO*
"

Pannya made me supper (rice, omelette, fish) and then left because he wanted seafood hot pot for 300 baht, leaving me home. I should be grateful. I'm not happy.

Deep. As in bottomless. As in never ending nightmares. As in looking into your eyes and drowning. Deeper. Deeper still. Until gasping I surface devoid of all fear. Then waking, shaking, making the bed I lie in, imagining it's full of air.
42w

8.เดือนพฤษภาคม

Catching up whilst Pannya sleeps.

I tried durian today. I see why people like it. It has the texture of custard, sweet but not too sweet, easy to eat. Yes, it stinks. Pannya loves it.

We take a bus to Udon Thani today.

My nerves are fine.

And then they weren't... next time I must sweetly point out to Pannya that trips matter and that one can check times and plan beforehand. Traveling on a dark and rainy night is not optimal.

I'm thinking Malaysia or Viet Nam this month or next. If so... I'll do the planning and then try to remember that Pan prefers to just fly-by-his-pants. This "no worries" attitude challenges for me.


Am I getting stronger as I age? Or do bones become brittle, muscles soften, brain atrophies. I do notice how everything around me has become stronger. If the stench of my rotting flesh could fend off the future... I'd live forever.
41w. Now edited.

May 1, 2023 at 1:03am
May 1, 2023 at 1:03am
#1049065
7.mai/พ.ค เดือนพฤษภาคม

Slept okay. Saw Ped before she left. Know how to get to Icon Siam. It will work out.

Free boat from Saphan Taksin to Icon Siam. Met up with Pannya and his mother, went to AIM Hotel (which was okay).

Cruise: music, food, a table for 3. Buffet, music too loud for my taste. I went because I was invited and wanted to meet Nupin. However, a costly cruise is not my idea of a good time. It wasn't bad. It's just not "me".

6.mai/พ.ค เดือนพฤษภาคม

Brian from Malaysia took Jessica, Alberto and me out to lunch. Very nice gesture.

I wore orange with a green umbrella today. 🧡 🤍 💚

Image of Jessica and me. Image of Alberto and Jessica singing. Jessica dancing to Abba.

From Bobbie George Ward:

Hold me now -
(as I shall hold)
let rivers chase my name -
that I might seed compassion
on the sea.
Tell them all I went the way
of locust come July -
the way of laurel
stilled by winter frost.
A softer sigh -
as silence waits
to heal the waning moon.
Love shall find
acceptance here -
beyond the threat of loss.


5.mai/พ.ค เดือนพฤษภาคม

"Just a beast on a leash" i.e. those who follow rules out of fear. Describes many Christians as well as dogmatic followers of other faiths.

Above quote found on FB is worthy of a poem or prose piece.

I got to sleep around 11 pm. Up at 7 am. Feeling weak but Coffee is My Companion, giving me strength.

Staying another night at Pinto. 6th and 7th are still not etched in stone. 7th is likely a river cruise. 8th is journey back home to Udon Thani.

No plans for today. I will take out money. I will renew my phone.

Yes, I want to see Pannya, but he said tomorrow. *Sad*

Gay called me from Udon. *Smile*

Nice chat with Jessica from Seychelles/Germany. She likes vampires. *Vamp*

4.mai/พ.ค เดือนพฤษภาคม

Safe in Pinto Hostel. Apple was there. Adrian remembered me. Alvin and Harry from Hong Kong.

Good chat with Kenny from RSA in hostel. He's married to a Lao in Pakse.

Brian from Malaysia works in China.

Ate pork satay with nam jim and ajad หมูสะเต๊ะ น้ำจิ้ม อาจาด; Max was very kind to join me.

3.mai

In transit. No major problems with flights. SEA-ICN Fed us twice, plus a snack. Steak was regrettable. Watched movie.

ICN-SEA. Turbulence. Arrived a bit late, forcing me to take taxi for 400 baht instead of Skytrain for 45.

2.mai *Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose*

Found my key and key card. Hope to get 3 hours rest. Up by 4-ish. Alarm set. Out by 05:30. Airport by 06:00.

My flights are at 07:00 and 14:00 so I may or may not blog.

1.mai *Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose**Rose*

It will be a crazy day. My anxiety has gone down but not disappeared.

Showered instead of bath, but...

A bit shaky. This is normal. Most everything seems to be done. Packing is the biggy. I'm hoping to get to bed early but sometimes I don't sleep at all. *Worry* The layover in Seattle is a brutal six hours. I'd rather be on the plane.

Updated CHECK LIST:

1. Prepack. Working on... progress. PACK *Checko*

7. clean and/or unclutter (last time didn't go as planned). Some progress.
8. make decision regarding plants. Moved some to hallway. Some progress.

10. clean out BOTH fridges. *X*
11. boxes. Moved a few; left for Julian
12. Call Asiana! Called. *Checko* Apparently I have a reserved seat. *Smile*

13. Bath. *CheckB*
14. Prepare food for layover in Seattle. Hard boiled eggs. *Checko*
15. 14:20 (or is it 15:20?) check in for Asiana flights. Possibly change seats. Seat 20C is better. *CheckO*
16. Check in for Alaska flight. *Checko*
17. Put clothes away. Mostly done. *CheckO*
18. Lunch. Use up rest of food at home.


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