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 |  Out of her head and into the world...the real, the scarcastic, introspective? |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** You have just entered the OLIVIA zone! From the far reaches of her wonderful, creative mind come thoughts and expressions that cover every spectrum! Anyway, enjoy my blog.... It's me.... When I get here to dump in it! Cheers! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Member Blogging Groups |
| Day 4 Prompt: How would you get away with the perfect murder (or bank robbery if you prefer something less... homicidal )? While I have never found myself to be “that” person, the prompt reminds me of my culinary school days when my ex-husband and I were dating. In the beginning, we were on the same team and content to be that way. We had agreed when we mutually agreed that we had feelings for each other, that we would conduct ourselves professionally in the kitchen and classrooms and what happened after hours was nobody’s business but our own. However, second year when it was found that we were engaged to be married, the school administrators split us up. He got to stay in the premier group while I was busted down to the group of students who were not expected to make a good showing or graduate at all (but that’s a whole other story). Be-that-as-it-may, that person I replaced in the low-grade group had to go somewhere… Which was straight to the top group (much to my friends’ collective dismay) and into an atmosphere were second-rate work was not tolerated among the peers. In short order the poor chap earned himself the moniker of “Zippy,” and at the end of the day, or over coffee the next morning, my darling and our friends would share stories of the “Continuing Miss-adventures of Zippy the Wonder Boy.” “Zippy” was a strange mixture of lazy, common senseless, perfectly oblivious narcissism that had the power to make one’s flesh crawl and elicit nausea quite rapidly. It was quite the mixture of sadness, and unfortunate hilarity, that made talking over the day at school/work so much like trying not to gawk at a train wreck or car accident. An example of such was the story of the unfortunate evening of the Mussel Voluté made with mussels that were neither picked, nor purged. The soup was gritty on first blush and caused several cases of mild to moderate food poisoning. I believe it was that incident, which first began the fantasy plotting against their sad teammate. During the team’s round in the Butcher Shop, a fantasy plot was hatched to knock the poor man unconscious and bleed him out like any other animal. From that point, the team had efficiently established how to eviscerate the carcass, quarter it out, mix the muscle with a precise blend of pork and venison, make sausage out of it, take the vital organs out to the near-by woods for the carnivorous animals, and boil down the bones for stock. After the stock was complete and reduced, the bones would be soft enough to grind down for bone meal to sell to the organic composting company the next town over. It was more than a little disturbing that they had such an efficient time line created for such an event and had even estimated how much money that they could raise to donate to the local fire/rescue department with the results of selling off the produce. Every time someone in our group would come up with a hypothetical question, they could answer for how it would be taken care of. Creepily as it sounded, it seemed, and still seems like the perfect murder. If I was driven to it, that would probably be the method I’d choose... If I were “that” person.  Until next write, Liv ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Day #3: Do you have any tattoos or piercings (other than your ears, ladies)? If so, what have you had done and why? If not, would you ever consider getting a tattoo or piercing? What would you get done and under what circumstances? The honest answer is that I have both. My tattoo is on my left shoulder blade and is the Japanese kanji for unconditional Love surrounded by Cherry Blossoms. When I was considering getting it done, a good friend found a piece of lore about the kanji which told about a woman who had been through an extremely abusive marriage and came through it with the ability to still love. Needless to say, it comes close to telling my story. In addition, it looks like three rays directed toward a walking person, who if one is a Christian could possibly be aligned to the love of God infusing a person in motion… God’s love in motion through people. A friend of mine who owned a Christian tattoo shop at the time brought me to his place, introduced me to his artists, and we talked about the significance of the tattoo to me, prayed over it, and set a date. This tattoo was a symbol of me forgiving my former husband, forgiving myself for staying in the situation so long, and moving toward a life that was worthy of the person that I am. I’ve had it about three years now and wish that I could find an artist that could make the Cherry Blossoms look more like ones out of an oil painting to spruce it up a bit more. I really enjoyed having it done. In fact, I fell asleep and scared the daylights out of the tattoo artist. Sometimes I think about adding a whole Cherry Blossom branch and a peacock in full plumage down the middle of my back, but I’m not a real fan of heavy tattooing, so I really cannot imagine carrying through with it. In addition, yes, I have a non-traditional piercing, which I do not have a ring or barbell in at the moment. Most people who know me in real time would probably not believe that I have something like that and its really surprised a guy I dated for a while. I miss not having anything in it because it makes me feel sexy and I believe I do a better job of projecting an alluring femininity when I am wearing it. Interesting that this prompt reminded me that I've contemplated several times recently in going to buy a new piece of jewelry and having it put in. New Year...New Jewelry??? Hmmm... Until next time, Liv ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Day 2: If you suddenly came into a large sum of money (inheritance, lottery, etc.) that gave you just enough to pay off all your debts and buy one luxury item for yourself of any size and scope... what would that one luxury item be and why is it important to you? Renovating My Parents’ Home Mom and Dad’s house was built in the spring/summer of 1978 when I was 7 years-old and my brother was 4. Through the years, it has been a haven of unconditional love, support, guidance and safety for us as well as many friends who have passed through, or are still in our lives. Mom and Dad hosted all the family gatherings for the holidays as well as numerous company parties, family bridal showers, and both confirmation celebrations for my brother and me. It sits on expansive acreage that has been in my family for over 100 years. For five years now, it has been home, shelter, and safety for my daughter and me after a horrible divorce. Many who do not know us would believe that I am sponging off my parents or exploiting their hospitality. The truth is that they were emotionally mature enough to make the transition from parent to best friends at the appropriate time. I could not work, go to school to get another degree, and take care of my daughter so well if it were not for them and how they choose to live their lives. The home has had some updating over the years, but there are things that I would like seen done to the house to add to the comfort of their advancing years as they approach their 70’s. Facings facts, ranch style houses built in that period usually have a room or two that never get used for what they were intended these days. Getting rid of the formal dining room and expanding the galley kitchen out to combine it into the living room to create a beautiful, functional great room would be nice. I also fear their small on suite bathroom as they continue in years since many significant accidents befall older people while taking care of their daily toiletries. Truthfully, some of the things I would do would really be for my own comfort and enjoyment, but I do not know that I would get as much out of any of it if they were not here to share it. So really, my luxury item would not be something completely for myself, but for the enjoyment and well being of others as well. Until next time, Olivia K. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Day #1: New Year’s Resolution for Someone Else to Keep: My Fellow Americans, this year, your New Year’s Resolution will be to work on developing your emotional maturity. In your current state of existence, many of you are extremely unhappy and as such have become hurtful, malicious beings that do nothing but perpetuate more pain. This makes me sad for you, so in effort to increase your happiness and reduce the surface misery on this beautiful blue marble, your personal development will be your “mandatory resolution.” This is going to be a large resolution to keep and I know how overwhelmed you feel by the least demand on your time, so I will break it down to you in a few easy steps. The first week or so may be a bit painful, but nothing worth having comes easy. However, because I care for you so deeply and know your inherent value and giftedness in this existence, I only want the best for you and will be here to encourage you every step of the way. First and foremost, there is a central maxim by which you will live this year: “How (you/I) perceive the world is unique to (you/me). Just as (you/I) have a right to believe and perceive as we choose, so does every other person on earth. While (you/I) do have a right to express (your/my) opinion, perceptions, and beliefs, (you/I) do not have the right to expect anyone else to agree with (you/me) and modify their choices to fit (your/my) beliefs. (You/I) have no right to, or find any value in judging others for not agreeing with, or believing in (your/my) beliefs, perceptions, or opinions. (You/I) have the right to feel hurt or offended that someone does not share your beliefs, perceptions, or opinions, but (you/I) have not right to shame, humiliate, or retaliate against that person for their beliefs, perceptions, or opinions. To add (your/my) negative energy to that belief, perception, or opinion, and bring awareness to it is to only expand it to bring more pain and suffering to others and (you/myself). If the belief, perception, or opinion of another has wounded (you/me), or (you/I) feel will wound many others because it is out there, pray for guidance in how to deal with the situation or send positive feelings to the situation. Find a way to add positive energy to what (you/I) feel has been wronged. Find a way to let go of those instances and people whose beliefs, opinions, and perceptions offend (you/me). It may mean completely changing who (you/I) call friends, but what is that compared to being happier? The goal is to let go of thoughts and opinions that really do not serve to make you happy. With that comes this practice: Avoiding over thinking and social comparison. Investing in using strategies (such as distraction) to cut down on how often you dwell on your problems and compare yourself to others will suddenly render great returns when you discover how happy you are. It also encompasses practicing forgiveness. Not forgiving someone does not hurt that person, it hurts you. The goal is more happiness for you, and not less. It may take writing in a journal or a letter that you subsequently burn, in which you express your hurt, and anger, and then extend that forgiveness, but do it! This also precipitates goal number 2: The Media diet. No daily newspapers, weekly news magazines, and as for television news? Do you really want to spend your 5 hour a week television watching budget on the news? Oh, by the way… Day time and Night time dramas are off the table. (You/I) may not watch Soap Operas, Real Housewives, Survivor, Big Brother, or other mess like that. When (you/I) do, (you/I) unconsciously pick up the verbal speech patterns, expressions, and other mannerisms of these people who often choose to act or speak unkindly. Oh, by the way, that includes a 90 day hiatus from Facebook as well. Marketers would have us believe that a singular snapshot in time, or a staged picture of a room, or gathering that normally does not exist is a normal, achievable proposition in life. Well my precious friend, this is a photo-shopped lie. Love who you are, where you are, and accept that others are just “where they are at” as well. Just because someone has all the material possessions you wished that you had, does not mean that they are immeasurably happy or okay with where their live is going. Count your blessings by keeping a gratitude journal where you jot down 5 things you are grateful for when you wake up, and 5 more things that you are grateful for before you sleep. In that journal write down your goals and visions for what you want your life to be like next year, 5 years from now… such as that. Do this regularly. At least once a week, if not 15-20 minutes daily. Believe me, if you are not watching TV, or gossiping with your bestie over text or the phone, you will have plenty of time. Lastly for the moment, develop a hobby or invest in your community by committing to do regular volunteer work. Giving of yourself has great happiness benefits. This may seem like I am cutting you off from things that you feel make you happy or connected, but the truth is, it is probably slowly but surely taking your life. I’d rather see you live a long, happy life creating a society that truly loves, and feels loved than watch you die a lonely, miserable life in the world most of us now live in. Be blessed this 2014. Love, Liv ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| The Chain Letter Facebook Reposts If you are a Facebooker you have experienced what I am talking about. If you don’t “Like” or “Repost” a horrible picture of a hospital bed-ridden child hooked up to machines and a hose running out of his/her nose, YOU are a BAD, heartless person. If you don’t “Like” or “Repost” a horrible picture of a poor animal who has been so heinously butchered by some douche who has lost touch with compassion… YOU are a BAD person and would probably do the very same thing to an animal like that (which now puts you in the league of Super villains because now you ARE a HEARTLESS BASTARD). I can almost see the tears running down Sally Strother’s face and her boo-hooing now with that…look in her eyes that assures you that salvation is just a twenty-five cent a day donation away from being YOURS! WOOOO---HOOO! Before anyone gets the wrong impression, I am probably one of the most compassionate meat-eaters on this planet. BUT, I don’t want to have to like and share every last tear-jerking, sob story-telling thing that finds its way to my Facebook wall! I do not criticize Vegans for their choice or try to trick them into eating anything they are allegedly opposed to for my own smug satisfaction. I expect for vegans to extend me the same courtesy. If I know you are vegan and you were invited to my house for dinner, I would prepare a glorious repast just for you that respects what you choose to eat and it would not be the least bit insulting or humiliating. However, I would also prepare a meal for myself that respects my food allergies and food preferences and nary the twain-shall-meet. I am a follower of the way of Jesus Christ and although I am consciously working on “getting it right,” I know I am not there yet and do not claim to be. Thank you kindly, I do NOT want to repost some crappy chain letter thing about if I don’t then I really don’t love Jesus. Umm… I post bible verses that I have found powerful on a specific day quite frequently. I carry the song: Mississippi Squirrel Revival sung by Ray Stevens as one of those powerful come-uppance songs for the self-righteous (Christian or not) every-where. Let’s face it, even when we try not to, we do bad things. We are all guilty of saying unkind things to and about the one person on the face of the planet that did not need our shit at that moment. I have been that person way too many times. Personally, I really do not care for labels and do not care whether someone sees me a “Christian” or just a really decent excuse for taking up room on this planet. In my experience most mainstream Christians claim to believe in a triune God, but are only comfortable expressing two. The Holy Spirit and the mystical qualities of God get overlooked some even accuse it of coming dangerously close to witchcraft and would prefer to bliss out in ignorance; which is their choice. Thank you kindly, I shall bliss out in mine; getting to know the greatness of my God. If you do not understand the journey, do not criticize the traveler. Now back to this chain letter crap. There is this chick that keeps posting some “Bloody Mary” style chain post in the comment section of random pages from “Save the Paws” to the NRA page and everything in between. WTHeck??? Obviously she was not around back in the 80’s when you’d get that mess in the mail! Talk about a waste of stamps. I remember coming home from school one afternoon and my maternal grandmother sitting me down, showing me something like this, and telling me how wrong it was to become involved in something as fear mongering, and wasteful as a chain letter. People self-inflict fear, shame, anger, and plenty of other kinds of emotional pain on themselves without any help! Stop doing crappy things to yourself. Stop doing crappy things to others. The average person on this little blue marble is a compassionate person who is working on their stuff. Their stuff and yours may not line up, but stop judging their stuff to make yourself feel better and more righteous! We all want cancer to end. We all want AIDS to end. We all want domesticate pet type animals to live healthy, happy lives and not be maimed for someone’s sick pleasure. We all want our freedom OF religion, though some of us want freedom FROM religion. There are a lot of things that we all want and are working towards. To me, the choice of what to, or not to post on Facebook is kind of like the choice to, or not to drop your pants (or hike your skirt) and pee in public. Is what you have to say so important that you want to risk THAT much exposure? Really??? Well, not me… Thanks so much! With Love~ Liv |
this entry is a re-blog of the 11/6/12 entry in the blog: LightQuestLifeCoaching.wordpress.com Judge Much? Maybe it’s Time to Send Your Judge on Vacation I had this notion that everyone was staring at me and judging everything about me, from my appearance to the way I talk and everything.—Ricky Williams If we must judge, let us first use the mirror on our own wall for practice.—Anonymous 7 1-5 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults— unless, of course, you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. It’s easy to see a smudge on your neighbor’s face and be oblivious to the ugly sneer on your own. Do you have the nerve to say, ‘Let me wash your face for you,’ when your own face is distorted by contempt? It’s this whole traveling road-show mentality all over again, playing a holier-than-thou part instead of just living your part. Wipe that ugly sneer off your own face, and you might be fit to offer a washcloth to your neighbor. Matthew 7:3-5, The Message Today is an auspicious day in American History. It is the first Tuesday in November; the day we vote for the person we will entrust with governing our country in the next four years. I had vowed to myself some time ago that I would not blog today, or if I did, I would have a very benign topic selected, pre-written, input, and scheduled to post today. I broke my vow. The message about judgment keeps bubbling to the surface; even the discussion topic at my women’s group last night regarded this topic. I find it bears discussing at some length. Though I do not find it a good reason to excuse anyone from poor behavior, I begin with a fact backed up by the study of psychology. Judging is built into our DNA as a means of survival. Men and women judge each other subconsciously on the basis of how attractive they are, which relates to finding mates/survival of the fittest. When men enter a room, they automatically scan the room for signs of danger and prefer sitting with their backs facing the wall, or at least being able to face the main entrance. Once a woman becomes a mother, she is constantly scanning her surroundings and the climes that she might be leaving her child in, to make sure that her child is going to be safe. For example: in the small town where my child attends school, the voting site was changed to the area High School today. With as emotionally charged as this election is, I am outraged that the county officials have potentially put our children in harm’s way. The town community center had plenty of handicap access and in this mother’s opinion, and should have been the site of the election. I am sure that there is some perfectly rational reason why they chose the High School, but honestly, either I am not seeing it, or am entirely unwilling to recognize it. Unfortunately, the humans’ inclination to judge is automatic and for some, seems to have an appetite like drug addict looking for his next fix. Being able to cast shame on another being is the ugly rush of that next drug induced “hit” to make the one judging feel better about him or herself. Let’s face it, the rush of pointing it out in others, numbs the pain of the personal shames and humiliations of the one pronouncing the judgment. The sad part is that like any other drug, it takes increasingly more to keep the assessor pacified. I have seen and heard more than my fill of vicious judgments regarding this election. Each individual casting judgment on any other person breathing that does not agree with their political point of view. I even saw a Facebook post a few months ago that asserted the opinion that if one were not well read of each candidate, the Constitution, and the Bill of Rights, and were willing to pass a written exam and score at least 80%, they should not have the right to vote. As you read that, how did that make you feel? Did that make you feel bad on some level? If so it was probably shame. In context it could be taken to mean that the poster had read everything written on or by each candidate, and had a clear, infallible memory of exactly what the founding documents contain. I do not know about you, but that sounds like another full time job to fit into your life somewhere. It also seems to imply that if you are not willing to make that kind of sacrifice, you don’t really care about your country. I wonder if the poster really, truly meant for that post to be so full of shaming language. As a higher order, reasoning species it is our job to develop self-awareness. This means, that part of the maturing process includes harnessing the beast. In terms of energy, what we send out comes back multiplied many times. When we send out judgment and all those nasty little lower level energies with it, they are going to come back to us many times over. If we think that we aren’t getting it back big time, we’re lying to ourselves. I can’t judge any of you. I have no malice against you and no ribbons for you. But I think that it is high time that you all start looking at yourselves, and judging the lie that you live in.—Charles Manson We are all guilty of saying with our mouths that we want more peace, harmony, joy, and celebration in our lives, but when we judge, we are denying it to others. It is a vicious cycle unless we each, individually stop the rollercoaster. Do you want more happiness, peace, joy, celebration and love in your life? Stop judging other people. Very likely what you are seeing in others is a direct reflection of what you hate in yourself. Unpack your problems, lighten your load by dealing with them and setting them free. When they are gone, you have room to bring in all those things you want! This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behavior we expect from other people.-- The Case for Christianity, C. S. Lewis May of us probably grew up with our elders quoting the saying about not judging a man till you have walked a mile in his shoes. This is true and probably a very good place to start. Send your inner judge on holiday for a bit and give your fellow human the benefit of the doubt. While you are doing that, check your story. A better place to start might be to approach the mirror and stare into the soul that you find there. With all the kindness, grace, and acceptance that you expect others to extend to you, offer it to yourself. Ask what wounds of shame and humiliation are still being carried around that cause your need to judge others. From very young on, everyone has experienced shame. Nobody likes talking about shame. It’s dark and dirty and holds who we are and who we really want to be hostage to its soul sucking energy. Some people use shame as a weapon to control others. A prominent researcher in this field of study, Dr. Brené Brown, author of the book: I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t), says that no one is resistant to shame and very few of us are born with resilience in the face of shame; it must be learned. Did you get that? Nobody is immune to shame! We can only learn how to deal with it in an even-handed manner and get through it. Confronted, shame gets put in its place. Shame worked through, sets you free. Until next time~ Rekindling the embers of light~ Liv ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
aka: the point where editing and revising comes in In my inaugural blog entry I talked about being nothing without your story. In essence it isn’t a bad thing, but on the other hand, sometimes it’s not a good one either. Further, your story is the sum total of your experiences since the day you were born; as you recall them. You as the author of your story have recorded these events from your point of view with the feelings you believed appropriate attached to each. Unfortunately this life comes with distortions. Distortions in our personal perceptions of our story, like typographical errors, grammar errors, and plot inconsistencies, can be edited and revisions made. After all, if we expect people to be truthful with us, we must first be truthful with ourselves. What do I mean by “distortions?” Think about it this way: place a straight broom handle in a clear pool of water. From where you are standing on this side of the water’s surface you know that the broom handle is still straight as before. On the other side of the water (within the pool) the broom handle appears to be bent, and even perhaps broken. What we think, feel, and believe about ourselves and our version of reality is what we reflect back on others. In essence if I hate myself and am disgusted with myself for becoming obese, I am likely not to be so kind to other women who are obese because I am reflecting back on them the truth about how I feel about myself. Chances are that as a child, even before the developmental stage of self-awareness came about, someone treated you badly. It was very likely a parent or close family member because those are the first people we look to for model, affirm who we are, and seek approval of whether or not we are “doing it right.” When that person treated you badly instead of blowing it off as them having a bad day and not being in possession of their self-control, you made it mean something about yourself…And it wasn’t good. That was the first time you wrote a false tale about who you are in your story which gave away your first bit of light. As life progressed, there were more instances that went down in your book as well and you sacrificed even more light. The worst part is that you don’t just write these tid-bits down, pack them away, and forget about them…You take them out, try them on, remind yourself of these moments of shame, loneliness, fear, etc. and wear them often. Sometimes if things are bad enough, they become your uniform that you wear proudly day-after-day-after day; gradually smothering your light till it’s just embers…If that. Sooner or later most of us are going to have an “I hate my life” moment. One realizes that they want things to be different. Their truth becomes that the current reality that they are living in isn’t working for her/him. That it is exhausting feeling this way. So what now? For me it’s been a journey: praying, bible study, attending weekend seminars, reading, living, learning, and interacting. It has been a process of realizing that I’m so damn tired of feeling the way that I felt, that I was willing to try something new ‘cause things couldn’t get worse than they were. I prayed for (sent out into the universe) the request to be shown what to do and for the right guides to show up and assist me. Little-by-little things started falling into place and divine appointments happened. I began to thaw out and understand things more clearly. Along the way there were a few friends with whom I was already acquainted who helped. Most of the time people and opportunities would show up “out of the blue.” I was able to begin to see that sometimes things weren’t exactly as I perceived them. In the midst of one of the last yelling matches I had with husband before he became my ex-husband, I tearfully bellowed this very profound statement: “It’s not all about you all the time.” And the truth is…it isn’t about any of us all the time. No person on the face of this earth is so obsessed with any of us so singularly that they spend every waking moment of their lives trying to concoct bigger and better ways to make us miserable for their own amusement. If we are feeling that way, it is because we are allowing ourselves to feel that way…Period. In short, stop blaming someone else for the bad story when you are the one holding the pen! Where to begin: 1.) Get in the mirror, look yourself in the eye, and get real with yourself, but mostly extend yourself forgiveness for hurting you, saying hateful things to you, and lying to you. Say: “I love you,” and commit to yourself to journey back to light. 2.) Inventory your daily routine and habits and identify things that you are doing that are taking away your joy. Once you have the inventory done, identify replacement routines or habits that will increase your joy. For example: if you watch soap operas (day or night), go on a 40 day fast. There is nothing that anyone ever said or did on one of those dramas that could be considered kind or uplifting. 3.) Take an hour to journal every day. Start writing about every hurtful experience you remember and ask yourself why it hurt then. Ask yourself what you made that hurt mean about yourself. Then ask yourself is that is really the truth about who you are. At the end of each journal, write yourself a statement of forgiveness and acknowledge yourself for your bravery; claim your soul healing. 4.) Starting with 30 minutes a day and gradually working up to 90 minutes a day, do something nice for yourself! Read a good book, take a bubble bath, go for a stroll with your fur baby, or grab a glass of wine and listen to some relaxing music…maybe even learn to do something you’ve always wanted to do! The point is for you to honor yourself. 5.) Find a family member, friend, or spiritual leader to talk to and help you process out loud. If that feels too risky for you, start interviewing life coaches and get with one. Your future peace, happiness, and joy are worth the investment you make in yourself. When one starts practicing these things daily, the revisions begin to flow, and life becomes a happier, more peaceful, and definitely more exciting. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ***This blog also appears on the Light Quest Life Coaching WordPress page @ lightquestlifecoaching.wordpress.com and is owned by Life Quest Life Coaching: McGregor, Texas. All Rights Reserved. None of the ideas expressed within this blog may be duplicated or quoted without the expressed written permission of the owner. All outside requests may be addressed to LightQuestLifeCoaching@gmail.com*** |
| I Am Nothing without My Faith We all need to believe in something; this is what I believe: As I suggested in my inaugural piece, we are the exact sum of our experiences from the day we were catapulted from the relative security of our mother’s wombs and out into the world. I have come to believe that birthing cries are our premier mourning wail because we have been divided from the oneness we shared both with our mother and with the Divine. From that moment both the forces of LOVE and the fruits of the Divine Spirit are in direct competition with the forces of evil (hate, anger, shame, envy, and so on) to keep us from what we were intended to be. Some believe that God decreed how we would experience this journey and wrote it himself in The Book of Life and others believe that each individual contracts his own journey with God to experience the lessons we need to learn. Still others chose not to receive that there is a Divine Source and find all of this to be some sort of dreamy BS because there is no “scientific proof” that God or the Divine exist. Whether one’s faith is in a higher power, or one’s faith in the power of their own ability to reason and use scientific process to determine what will and will not be believed does not bother me at all. My faith in what I foundationally have been taught, my power to ask questions, and my power to discern what truth my deepest, most inner self agrees with, which leads me to my personal beliefs is what I use as my compass and directions to serve. Yesterday, October 24, 2012, I volunteered (as a part of the Austin Chapter of the International Coach’s Federation) to provide Personal/Life Coaching services as a part of the Mentor Match segment of the Texas Conference for Women. This event is held annually and draws women from around the state. It was my great honor and privilege to receive a badge and access to the day’s events in exchange for my services. There were many powerful women represented there; the keynote speakers being: Charlotte Beers, Gretchen Rubin, Dr. Brine Brown, and Cathie Black. All have books out on the market that speak to their feminine relationships with the world through business and life. I am still processing the experience and cannot begin to express how moved I was by the whole experience. All I can say was that it was a day of both divine appointments and serendipitous moments. When I got the call to take my Personal/Life Coaching to the forefront of my professional life, there was absolutely NO ego involved. I have been through a lot in my life and am humbly aware of how imperfect I am. My inner guide, showed me through my own life coach’s Facebook page, in a moment of deep loneliness, physical pain, and numb uncertainty about my future that this was it. I tested for truth. Was this a call or was this my heartsickness grasping at straws? I researched online, I called coaches, I called trusted friends, and I participated in free coaching training classes. Everything was clear, effortless, and I identified with it as if it were already a part of who I am. Because honestly, it is…I have been shown that I have been through the fire first hand so that I have intimate knowledge of how those whom I serve actually must feel. “I have called you to this work because you must include me.” I read, I pray, I meditate, I worship, and I hear back from the boss. This is a direct order; not a suggestion; a great way to start a Sunday morning. Talking to a good friend I had shared with her that this was my work because I felt placed here; called to serve as a conduit for the Divine healing work; the re-illumination of the light originally placed within the citizens of the kingdom. This is my truth and driving purpose for what I do. BUT, I have been hesitant to outwardly proclaim it. My thoughts were: Maximum amount of service…Least amount of resistance. What if this causes more resistance and less healing? Let’s face it. I let my human ego get in the way…We all do. I am a devoted follower of Dr. Doreen Virtue, PhD. In one of my darkest hours when I felt that the darkness was about to swallow all the light that the Holy Spirit had rekindled in me, I was led to her Angel Therapy app. Therefore I own several more of her products and follow her both on Facebook and Twitter. On Monday her post was about growing up Christian and believing in Jesus and her longing to bring him further into her work. THIS was my confirmation. While there were many “fans” that had such positive, uplifting things to say, unfortunately there was one angry soul in particular who vehemently attacked Christianity and religion in general. In spite of her bitterness for whatever man’s religion wrought on her, I was not moved from my message. Loving God, however you want to connect with Him does not matter! Just like you can love a person with all your heart, but not like the choices they have made, or who those choices have made them, you can love God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit, and not like what manmade religions have become. Continuing to carry that kind of bitterness and hate into the world is not going to help heal a broken world…It’s going to continue to be the poison that keeps it festering and diseased. By faith in the messages I have received, I went boldly to the Texas Conference for Women yesterday. There were many powerful women with inspiring messages; many of which reinforced the truths I have been discovering on my personal journey. One such though by Gretchen Rubin, author of The Happiness Project was this: Clutter and holding on to things (material items) that do not serve you or uplift you anymore, need to be released from your living space. Whether a project that lost its luster, or a stack of books you are done with, they need to find a new home. There is someone out there who is longing for the exact item you are in possession of. The underlying message of this is that the visual presence of these items are taking away your joy…your happiness because you have some negative feeling (energy) towards that thing. My commitment to de-clutter the lives on this hill has been renewed with quite a bit of strength. The major take away from yesterday is this: “We need our lives back. It’s time to reclaim the gifts of imperfection—the courage to be real, the compassion we need to love ourselves and others, and the connection that gives true purpose and meaning to life. These are the gifts that bring love, laughter, gratitude, empathy, and joy into our lives.” --- Dr. Brené Brown: I Thought It Was Just Me (But it isn’t). Everything my heart has longed for—truths that I have had faith in for several years now, has been brought forward in this book. Dr. Brown has three out and published which I will be reviewing and likely quoting often. Where ever I went yesterday the same message replayed itself: “Women, find healing, rekindle the dying embers of light in your hearts to be roaring flames. Your light is needed—NOW.” Men— Before I close I feel called by faith to address you personally as well. You light is equally in danger. There are many network television comedy shows that depict men as weak, crude, and stupid. Many people watch them and find it “harmless humor.” Honestly, there is nothing “harmless” in this world and it is dangerous for you to continue to be lulled into believing that it is. Even as we women need to gather our strength, Men, you need to rediscover and claim your own. We were designed and built to live in communion with each other. Each of us has a purpose, strengths, and weaknesses. Weaknesses are okay. Needing a partner is okay. I have faith that you can do it. I have faith that we can all do it. If you have lost your way, there are male coaches out there to help you as well. You deserve to live a whole, wonderful, prosperous life as well. Find your light—live your life and serve in your own strengths as you feel passion and desire call you. Rekindling the embers of light~ Liv~ |
I’m Nothing Without My Story The first time that I heard this phrase it was said in the following way: “Yeah, well he’s nothing without his story.” This was said in a very non-complementary tone of voice and what followed was more of the same. It sounded like the poor man was addicted to being a victim of his life circumstances and these people were hooked on talking about him. All of this made me feel super uncomfortable, but at the time I could not get away from the conversation and it left a major negative impression. Because of this, every time I heard this phrase (for quite some time), it really, really offended me; especially if it was directed at me. It took me a decade to realize that this phrase could have a positive side as well. The truth is: we all have a story and we have a choice. It comes down to one simple question: Victim or Champion? A lot of people go through life believing they are being “done unto,” and have absolutely no control over what and how things happen. Most of must develop a self-awareness of our thoughts and words and practice writing our story from a champion’s point of view. A lot of these individuals believe in a Divine Being or Spirit and that influences their ability to see things from an optimistic point of view. In my 41 years of experience, it is an imperfect practice. Life and all the influences that surround us get in the way. We become out of balance; over committing ourselves, burning the candle at both ends, and we allow ideas like: “can’t” and “never could” to enter our thinking and speaking. That is the point where we get in our own heads and begin to believe ourselves. Other times we are in harmony with ourselves and we are writing from a positive point of view. This is my story… “I hate my life…” A disturbing first thought to have upon waking shortly after my 36th birthday. It was enough to shock myself wide awake. Why should I hate my life? I had a happy, healthy 6 year-old daughter, my own beautiful home in a town many people would love to live in, a growing business, good friends, and a marriage of 13 years. Why should I hate my life? This was by no means a suicidal thought. It was a cumulative realization that I was by no means living the life that I had been called to live. I quietly got out of bed; leaving my husband to sleep, let the dog out, and made myself a pot of coffee. There was a lot of thinking and processing to do. Throughout my life, I had been through many trials and overcome many things that would have made lesser people quit. I had been psychologically abused by a teacher both in second grade then in ninth grade. I was bullied by my peers in elementary school because I wore homemade clothes, leather shoes, and was just “different” in general. In those days I ate to numb the pain of being the outcast. I sustained a concussion that tore my right retina in sixth grade and underwent reattachment surgery that following summer…On my 12th birthday. I started losing weight that year and by the time I was a junior, I was enthralled that I had a circle of friends, and boys were looking at me as if I were attractive. So, I took dieting to the extreme. Life was amazing for me during my junior and senior years and then I went off to college. I failed out of college during my fourth semester and went on to be a top-ranking graduate of my culinary school. I got married to a nice guy who was also a culinary student, and went on to have a brilliant career in fine dining; culminating in owning my own fine dining café in a great tourist town. Often I wondered why awful stuff happened to me…Frequently. However, I never lost my belief that there was a plan and I had a purpose in this life. Many times I had no idea what it was or when it would be revealed. Never-the-less I was confident that everything I endured, and everything I learned from my experiences were being invested in my future. By September of 2007 I knew that I was in disharmony in the area of my marital relationship. My husband had become depressed over the loss of a job about a year after our marriage. He never came back. If nothing else, he slipped further and further away. Depression begat extreme weight gain, which spawned sleep apnea, that deepened the depression, causing both an addiction to food, and World of Warcraft. I didn’t have a husband or partner, and my child didn’t have a daddy. I was shouldering home ownership, parenting, a business, and carrying a sick spouse who blamed me for everything. By the following spring, I was able to come to terms with the most horrible personal discovery to date. I was an abused wife. Yet again I had fallen into a place where I was being emotionally abused and had been for over 10 years. I filed for divorce soon after and left behind my business and employees I dearly loved; along with my house, church, and friends. I took my daughter and moved home to my parents’ house and the community I grew up in. I have been blessed with an amazing, supportive family, community of friends, and made new friends along the way. I had the blessing of teaching culinary arts at a local technical school for the last three and a half years and have gone back to school to finish my BS in Psychology. There have been many students and friends along the way who I have coached through their tough times. Because of them, I have grown and expanded my knowledge and command of my own words and thoughts. I continue to grow and learn every day. Here is my truth: We have all been designed and put here for a purpose. We are all unique from start to finish and we have a job to do here. There is a light burning within each of us…A passion…A calling to serve in some capacity. As we grow along this journey, we are faced with challenges which are tough sometimes. Depending on how we choose to look at those things, they will make us stronger or begin to weaken us. There are times when a series of challenges arise and all the “stuff” we tell ourselves, and choose to believe of ourselves begins to exhaust the light within till there are only embers. Those are the times when we need to reach out to sources of help and guidance for support and encouragement to rediscover what we feel we have lost. Life Coaching or Personal Coaching can fulfill this purpose. My purpose in offering my professional services is to help anyone who desires a change in their lives to achieve their goals. There is no other person on this planet who knows you better than you know yourself. Your light is still in there and it is desperately needed in this world today. Let me help you rediscover yourself and your calling so you can step into your power and illuminate your world! If you are interested, in-box me. It may take a couple of days, but I will get back with you. In Light and Love~ Liv |
| You know that country song called: "I hate everything?" Well, I don't know that I "hate everything" at the moment, but God, I'm angry and I'm going to probably bitch and gripe and complain just because I can and I need to let off some steam! First of all, I know I haven't been on WDC in a while, but WTH is with all the godforsaken anami and cartoon PORN being passed off as erotica! I know that there are some sick bastards out there with some wacked out fettishes and trust me, I've written a fettish story or two... but I've spent pain staking hours making sure it was tasteful and well written. Ladies and Gentlemen (who probably aren't old enough to purchase alcoholic beverages, smoke, or vote in an election), get a damn life! Just because you've got the equipment, doesn't mean that it's time to use it yet or even spend time dwelling on it! Life's a STD infested mistress at best out here in the outside world! Be a kid a little while longer and FOR THE LOVE OF PETE! PLEASE KEEP WHO ANG IS BENDING OUT OF THE MIX! I, on the other hand, have a ten year old child whom I'm trying to keep a little bit innocent for a while longer, and she still watches these cartoons and I don't want to have to make dinner at night while she's watching these things and having flash-backs to what I've just read while reviewing on WDC. I don't know what happened to a good, clean romp in the sack, or behind the bar, or in a moving vehicle between human beings, but please, please bring it back! AND, when you actually DO write an erotica about a couple doing it... Don't get stuck on one word over, and over, and over again! I just read a piece where I got confused as to which set of "cheeks" we were talking about. It was as bad as: There, Their, and They're! Why can't anyone write anything sensual anymore? That piece sucked ass! Half the time it read like an old-fashioned regency period lust scene out of a poorly written harliquin novel! I know! I still have a huge banana box full of the little bastards from when my great aunt was a horny spinster! AND SHE'S DEAD NOW!!!! Why can't a significant other and lover get over himself and pick up the fucking phone and listen to me. Yeah, life sucks, but damnit! When someone cares about you and is trying to get that point across, LIFE CANT SUCK ALL THAT BAD!!!! Let me make you a wonderful home cooked meal with all the trimmings, we'll pile on the couch after dinner with a couple of glasses of bourbon and we can cuddle and watch all the rediculous episodes of American Dad (or whatever the hell that show is) that you want and I'll make you feel like the only person on earth that matters! BUT... but you won't answer your phone you sorry fuck! And men think women are such fickle animals in relationship.... Decide what the hell you want and fucking commit to it already! And what's up with texting me several times a day for a couple of months and then stopping? I need to know that you are still there and thinking about me! I'm sorry that business and life is stressful, but mine is too! Geez, can the luster wear off so quick? It's not like I bitch to you about about all the stupid thing that gets on my nerves in my daily life or call you crying when I'm tired and frustrated and I NEED a hug (physical or verbal), because you've come into my life, things get on my nerves way less and I try to show you that I'm not (95% of the time) some huge needy attention whore. I actually think enough of you and trust you enough that i comfortable sharing my life with you. Which, in my case is pretty damn incredible! I'm so tired of trying to be a friend. I'm soft, caring, and compassionate to everyone I'm friends with, but the hell with me when I need something back! That's about stupid. Just stop and hear me out sometimes. There ARE times when I run out of kind, supportive things to say and need refilling myself! Alright... I'm still cranky and I'm going now... I'm out.. Liv |
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