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Whew! Life! It's time to get down and let her rip! |
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{f:comic} It's time to get SERIOUS. I haven't been writing due to life but I know now if I let life stand in the way of my talent I will loose it. I have to write or read about writing. I have to hand write in journals. I have to be active on this sight. I need to read the literature I want to write! We all have to get with the program or get off the speed boat of life. |
| April 3, 2015 What a surprise! I got an award letter through the mail giving me a free trip everything included to the biggest lake near our home. The building committee got together and built a huge condo and along with it they were building a big restaurant with lots of ethic foods. In order to participate in this finely put together vacation you had to let the new cooks cook your meals along with a clean up crew. For free, really? I called and made our reservations and answered a few questions about what kind of food I enjoyed and if I mind giving up 2 hours of the day to play while they cleaned and cooked. I was in like Flynn. This was a much needed romantic holiday without our children. I signed up right away and looked forward to French, Mexican, American, German, and Polish meals. Each night was different and I picked out the appropriate clothes. What fun! |
| April 2, 2015 The luxury of the cruise ship was remarkable. I remember the smell of the salty water as I reached the deck of the ship. As I talked to the attendant of the floor I was on the more I moved my mouth my lips became dry. When will her “spill” be over with because at the time I was ready to get out of the wind drying my entire face. It was worth it when she told me that I would be over the decoration of my room. Since that particular cruise was across the pond I knew as a hermit I would be spending quite a bit of time in my room with only one port hole to see the world. Across from my room was a room filled with lovely items and some not so appropriate items or so I thought at the time. Being on the ocean for a few days changed my attitude and I was geared more toward the fantasy items, no depressing but I could feel the items full of some sort of spirit. I ask the attendant why was this cruise so much different than the other ones I had been on because I used the time to write my series of books about the love of aliens and many facts would come out of my books of which most of the public had experience. I walked inside the room of items and smelled a faint nose twitching, eye watering spice and immediately knew what it was a very hint of sage. I gathered up items: an old book full of Wallpaper samples, some brass pots to bring some shiny reflections to my dull room, and tons of colored beads from the Madi Gras in New Orleans. This was to be my muse so I took the wallpaper samples and pasted them together and my room became a decoupage of musings to my delight. The room was already furnished with shelfs so I ask the kitchen for some vinegar and ketchup to shine them up with some old kitchen cloths they gladly gave me. The beads I cut and tied to separate some of the spaces in my room. When I was finished I looked around and saw a beautiful room full of muses to finish one rather great novel in access of 800+ pages. What a vacation that was where I was let go to show my true creativity. |
| April fool’s day 1 After a lunch of homemade Chicken soup with every vegetable known to man with yummy corn tortillas filled with Goat’s cheese I have a full belly ready to fulfill my destination. I find myself anxious to fill my life long dream of Peru where I can see the temples of the past. I take the bus to the beautiful temple filled with people of South America and smell the people who work hard for their living and relish in the country’s past. None of the clothing looks as carefully picked out as the color of white and Kaki that I wear. The friendly dark eyes are in such a comparison to a brightly color wardrobe of brightly colored reds, festival blues, and sunshine yellows. They are very spiritual because all they have in life is their spirituality because the people with blue-black hair of short statue, smiles for everyone, and a proudness of their heritage. You might think they tire of their trips to Machu Picchu but they thrive on the past. The language of the people even more beautiful than that of the French. The bus hangers along some steep unkept roads without any complaints from the people on the bus. I start remembering my elementary song I loved some 50 years ago and thinking this would be a fine time to just sing. I’m in a strange place but the people of this country put me so at ease. I start singing the wheels on the bus go up and down, up and down, round and round and the strangers become my friends. All flagging their arms to the words then I remember the song I learned in Spanish class when a wee tot and sing One Little Two Little Three little Indians in their native tongue. After much activity and playing we are nearing our destination. In the midst of the jungle it seems as if we cannot make it all the way on the bus but must start walking but if the past four hours judge the way my trip will go I won’t want to return. My hopes of meeting orbs of the past keep my mind at a viewing stage I cannot turn away from. I hear the wild birds bidding me to my destination. |
| I try, once again to loose weight, to write more, and most of all to loose some of the costly electronic devices. Remember when we might have thought if I had a computer it would be so easy. I've found in my nearly 60 years of life--nothing is easy you just have to get with the program and stay with it. Could it have been that I was so spoiled being an only child, only grandchild, and only niece that I wasn't taught to stay on track with what I was doing? Or is that just another excuse. I doth think it is another excuse. Help me God to stay on the right path and do things I've wanted to complete for so long. Number 1 thing to do-quit listening to a husband who only says negative things to you. He will never change and if you can't stand it get out of the situation. Having a man doesn't make you anymore of a woman than being without one. I rest my 2014 case. |
| My husband is having Grand Mal seizures and there is only his family to take care of him. I am at a point where I can't. I am anemic and they don't know where I am losing blood from. I am on a 1200 calorie diet because I am pre-diabetic. None in my family so I telling people who are drinking soft drinks instead of water, you better stop!!! It will catch you in the end. All my family are dead and do you think the same people who love their own family are going to take me in instead of them? Think again...blood is thicker than water. I am on my one. It's a hard row to hoe but I have no choice. |
| What can you do when you are really down? I've went around the past few days singing an old Doris Day song, KaSar, sara, what will be will be. Hoping to feelbetter soon. |
| Mama said they'd be days like this but she didn't say they'd last forever! |
| Any woman living in a relationship that isn't working is just dealing herself misery and we all know the old saying, "Misery loves company." In the meantime you become someone you don't know. The woman you were, outgoing, ready to go when the word was said, Let's go, and in place of you becomes a depressed women taking so much medication that her doctor fears because her liver is in bad shape. It's sad a woman who took joy in friends, flowers, writing, scrapbooking, and things just lets everything go. She loved people and now she shutters at the thought of even going out. Losing interest in all she is slowly losing everything she loves because they don't want to be around her. This woman when told one time that her Mother-in-Law had a nervous breakdown said, "Someone has just told her that because my Mother-in-Law is strong." Her 30 days in there meant, to me, someone told her she was depressed it wasn't true. Now I am her and have been her for a long time. I want to pull myself up. I have to. We don't have much time on this earth and being depressed shouldn't be included in the make-up. |
| I tried to refrain myself from just losing it today but I matained with the look of crying and beggig of God not to take her from to spare her life a few years beicause without her I am nothing. My daughter, Kim wanted this little bundle of fire practically all her life. I still have her little note to Santa which goes along the lines like Ithis: Santa, I don't know I if I've been good or not but I want a puppy that stays little all her life. This put me and her Father in a bind, We already had went through rabbits, birds, and various other animals she just had to have but nothing brought so much joy as this little puppy we named Jewell. Everyone loved her, my Mother took pride because when we went to see her we took a suitcase we purchased at the Thrift Store. In it was some o Jewell's favorite toy's. At night Jewell would sleep in her opened suitcase and Mother would squeel with dellight, "I'ved seen a lot of things in my life but this is the best. I have quite a bit to write but I've been up with our precious Jewell all nig =================ut I want a o |
| Sometime in life there come a time to make a decsion which won't be popular with everyone but will benefit me in so many ways. It's time to leave a marriage of 33 years. The mental abuse I cannot take anymore. When you hear so much negative sentences in your life and you can't erase them it's time to move on. I have quite a bit of pysical and mental pain mostly due to my husband having a car accident in May, 2004. I had a wonderful job at a camp and conference center. We taught environmental classes to school children outside, had a summer camp program, raptor program, and many more positive things plus a good payday every week. The place I worked for was a religious Episcopalian Camp which didn't have to follow the laws Clinton endorsed for a personal leave of absence so I lost my job. My husband previous had a coalmining accident and was put on powerful drugs. This is why the accident happened. It was at that time he was put on so many drugs and we've come to believe that this caused the car accident. Our Jack Russell was lost during the accident--she ran away as they cut him from the truck. My husband was in the truma unit for 7 days and in the hospital a total of 30 days. He came home in a wheelchair and a wonderful hospital bed graced our living room. We found our dog after 3 days because the editor of the small town newspaper made it a front page story. So this stressfull moment caused not only a deep, dark depression but fibromyagia and numerous other problems. My social security visit is next month. I'm hoping for a good outcome so I can possibly leave my home. I lost all my family within about 7 years. I was the only child, only grandchild, and only niece so I have a nice house to live in and I'm ready. I just hope I can make it because my health can't take much more. A kiss for luck and I'm on my way. |
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