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  My blog was filled up. I'm too lazy to clean it out. So I started a new one. |
| It is an old custom in my area to have oyster stew on Christmas morning. Oysters are considered expensive, so it was a splurge to have them for breakfast instead of dinner. Once I would occasionally run into people who had the same custom, but it is getting harder to find such people. I guess it's dying out. But for me and my brothers, it is an absolute must. I've become something of a snob about it. Since becoming an adult I have encountered people who have varying recipes. Ours is very simple. You cook the oysters with all the juice in butter until the edges shrivel up. You add salt and pepper and milk. Period. End of recipe. Never let the milk boil. Others will thicken it with a little flour or add onion to the butter and oysters or even a tiny bit of grated carrot. No, no, no. I guess ours is the poor man's version. We keep it simple. My mother's folks and my father's folks cooked it this way. They were city people and country people; their paths never crossed. Mom also knew about red eye gravy and coffee gravy--the hobo's version that wasted nothing, but was fast and easy to catch the early morning red eye train. We became oyster snobs, too. When I was kid, all the local oysters were from the Chesapeake Bay. That became polluted and the oysters were over harvested. So for the last decade, at least, there have been no Chesapeake or Potomac oysters due to the ban. The Bay is cleaner now and the oyster beds are growing back, but there are severe limits still. So we can get oysters from lower on the coast of the Atlantic, but those are rare. For the most part, we now use Gulf oysters, usually the Louisiana side rather than Texas. Occasionally, you can get San Francisco oysters, but they aren't the same quality. You only get those if you can't get any others. They are only packaged in San Francisco and may have come from elsewhere along the coast. So they have to be frozen to ship east. If you're going to fry oysters, you definitely want the larger, premium ones. Atlantic or Gulf oysters, if possible. I remember my grandfather, in his seventies by then, peppering his oyster stew until there was a black coating on top. My other grandfather always added more salt, but he could get away with that, since he had Addison's Disease which doesn't allow the body to hold salt. (He actually took a salt supplement every day of his life, like a swimmer.) We are not snobby about crackers. You can use saltines or oysterette crackers. as many or as few as you like. Grandpa with the pepper had to have the little oyster crackers. No one in my family butters their crackers, like my husband and a former boss did. We crumple saltines, like we used to crumble Oreo cookies in ice cream, before they started making ice cream with cookie crumbs already in it. It just doesn't feel like Christmas to us until we have at least a little bit of oyster stew. |
| Every year, we wait, we anticipate, we prepare. Then, Slam, Bang! It's over, There's nothing left but the crumbs on the floor, and some crayons under the furniture. Oh, and the big plastic bags of wadded up gift wrap and toy packaging. I'm wearing new slippers as I type this. It took about 5 minutes once the kids started opening packages. They opened things that weren't theirs. Then we had to figure out who had purchased it, and for whom it was intended. Surprisingly, the favored gifts were not newly purchased . My late brother collected Hot Wheels. He left thousands of them. There are lots of collectors around, but unfortunately, the cars have not built up any value yet. My dad has given out some loose ones and some still in original packaging, reducing our totals by quite a bit. Today, he gave the three year old, who loves little cars, a carrying case filled with Hot Wheels. He wanted to abandon everything else and play with them. They wanted to make sure he got home with these older cars, since I do have other playthings at my house. So he cried when they put them in the car before he lost them all. He then got some new cars of another brand to distract him. Dad had gone through the dresser drawers in his room and found a tin box of what he thought was Mom's jewelry. He gave it to me last Sunday as my "Christmas present". I determined that it was all broken or single earrings, and very retro. Two necklaces I would use, even retro, but they need new clasps. One short chain with a sea shell was in good shape. It didn't seem expensive, and could pass for a child's necklace. I gave it to the first grader. She liked it and put it in her pocket. But her mother went down memory lane. She recalled sitting on Grandma's bed and going through her jewelry box and picking out what she wanted someday. She and her sister reminisced about this time with Grandma when they were small with big smiles on their faces. I remember doing the same thing with my mother's mother, but I didn't take away from their moment. It was a pleasant memory for them. I was relieved when everyone left, and I could tidy up a little. I'll vacuum tomorrow. I sat down and napped for almost an hour. When I woke up it wasn't late, but too late to go to a movie. The day was over already. I feel free now. I can settle into a normal routine. At the same time I miss them. I worry about my sick brother who struggled to be here and had to change oxygen tanks. It's kind of disappointing that it's all done now or almost. We'll sing Christmas carols at church on Sunday. Advent ended Christmas Eve and the church calendar celebrates 12 days. Even for believers, it becomes more somber and personal at this point. Family and hoopla wind down. We know that we'll do it all again next year. |
| When my parents were children, they were very poor. My mother was worse off because her father had a disease and was out of work a lot. Dad's family had a garden, a cow and some chickens. They didn't go hungry, but Mom and her brothers did. My father's dad was tight with money and not expressive of feelings. One year for Christmas, he got a cap gun. He was embarrassed and hid it from the neighbor kids. Mom got a metal piggy bank from the bank one year. Another year, she got a broken toy from the Salvation Army. As young parents on a single income, they did everything possible to give my brothers and me a big, fun Christmas. We cooked with her. We decorated together. We got lots of presents, which they always celebrated with oohs and ahhs. We never knew until we went back to school in January that Santa brought other kids more things than he did to us. We had had fun; that's what counted. As adults we began to feel the stress of Mom trying to make Christmas perfect. We all wanted to please Mom with the best gifts, and helping her out since she didn't drive. In the past few years, I have realized that my parents childhood as well as our own affected all of us greatly. We never discussed it through the years, but each of us was scarred, you might say, by poverty, in varying ways. It affected our self-esteem, our desire to please others, particularly children. My late brother was generous to a fault. It's affected our self-esteem. The upside of it is that we love Christmas. We go out of our way to be together, to share the feast, and to please one another. Charity is important to us. We not only give gifts, but we strive to make memories with the little ones. The holidays always arouse a lot of memories. The beautiful Thanksgiving feasts with uncles and aunts no longer with us, the oyster stew on Christmas morning with extended family or work buddies of my dad's, the treks into the woods for a real tree with Dad's cousin. We remember the things we did, the visitors, the smiles on my mother's face, and all that laughter. My parents' hard work and sacrifice gave us this legacy of warm feelings and memories we still treasure. Each ornament, each figurine or garland tells us some story. This year we will gather with one brother in Heaven with Mom, no uncles or aunts, or in-laws. One brother may or may not be there, due to cancer treatments and how he may feel tomorrow. We'll have seven children under 10, one not even one year yet. Between Santa, friends, and family, the kids will have so many gifts, they'll be bored and won't remember half of them by Jan. 2. We'll have more food than they have room to taste. But we will be together, and we will say grace together. The adults will treasure the day, knowing we may not all make it back next year. We have to make this one special. Unlike my grandfather, we are strong enough to say 'I love you' We know why we celebrate this day, and we will do so as a family. |
| Okay, the best part of Christmas is making memories with friends and family. But a really close second is the Christmas cookie. It can't be store bought or from a bakery, no matter how expensive. It has to be home baked, which means pre-made dough that you bake yourself is acceptable. My favorite is fruitcake cookies. I've never made them myself, but I know several people who do, and they are my favorite people. This year I made two new recipes. The first is similar to Mexican wedding cookies. I used regular chocolate chips instead of the mini chips called for in the recipe, but that's okay. I did make the balls a little too big. They take longer to bake. They are low in sugar, but not in carbs. I used vegetable shortening, and they do not require eggs or milk, so there is no cholesterol. They are high in fat. Someone sampled one and reported it was good. The second new recipe was an accident. I was making tropical island cookies using white chips, coconut and walnuts. I realized as I was putting the last pan in the oven that the bag of chips was unopened on the counter. Without the white chocolate chips, these are not very sweet, but still pretty good. I also did some of that packaged dough in the dairy section, but I rolled them in red sugar just to give that Christmas look. Now I have some for gifts, some for guests, and a few to leave out for Santa. I might even leave Santa a glass of egg nog. (I'll sample one first.)   |
| Speaking for myself, I don't mind Xmas. In the early days of Christianity, they often left notes in code. X was the first letter of the Greek word for Christ. So it is a good substitution. X is used a lot in making Chrismons, religious ornaments. With that in mind, the X does not seem sacrilegious or offensive. Spell-check tells me that Chrismons is not a word. However, they are ornaments of symbols that have developed over the centuries. A tree of only Chrismons was displayed at a Lutheran church in Virginia in 1957, and since has caught on. I first learned of them back in the 70's when they were very simple or just carved out of wood, no color. Today they are usually done in gold and white. The main rule is that each ornament has to refer to Christ or God. They are almost always handmade, so it's a good local craft project. I love the lights, the wrappings, the decorations, the food the gifts. They don't take away from the true meaning of Christmas or diminish "Peace on Earth". They add to the excitement and thrill of the season. It's all a matter of attitude. With the right spirit in your heart, you can have a lot of fluff or minimal to-do. It's all still wonderful. If you find you're stressed, or your family seems self-centered, you're not doing it right. So take a night off from events and shopping. Prop up your feet and listen to some music and drink some hot cider. Or if you've had your fruit allotment for the day, drink hot spiced tea. What have you done for someone less fortunate? How have you brightened some body's season at work, at home, or in the community? Did you drop some change in the Salvation Army kettle when you left the grocery store? Have you told the people in your life you love them? Don't delay. And thank God for your blessings. You will feel better. |
Does anyone enjoy this? If I shop too early, then I see more things I like later, and people end up with too many presents from me. (Nobody ever does that for me.) Me dad bought his granddaughters an electric appliance each, and the next day it went on sale $10 less. He can't shop without me, so this becomes my duty, too. You stand in a long line and wait, then the cashier doesn't know how to do it. A manager has to be called who emphasizes that you won't get any rebates already mailed, and blah blah blah. The other customers start getting fidgety. Whatever happened to a service counter that handled adjustments and returns?  The other problem we discovered is that kids don't stay the same size very long. Dad bought pajamas for the two three year olds, with me carrying, etc. The one who turned three in August probably wears a size three, at least for this winter. The one that turned three in November wears a 4 or a 5. He's four inches taller than his cousin. He looks slim; he's just on a larger ratio. If you don't work with toddlers every day like a pediatrician or a day school teacher, you can't be a good judge of these things. The small three year old also has a sister who's almost ten, but she only wears an 8, despite being tall. I talk to the girls, who keep me informed, so we didn't make any errors there. I'm torn between taking the pj;s back now of leaving them wrapped and returning after Christmas. The tall toddler lost his daddy last year, so his mother has her hands full with three kids. I tried looking at books. I discovered I'm usually interested in books that women like. It's hard to judge a good book for a man. I've discovered in the past that some people just don't read. Unless you know someone well. you can't choose a fragrance or cosmetics. Never give a woman wrinkle cream unless she asks for it. I've also discovered that others are as picky about their clothing as I am. Their tastes and mine aren't the same. I did get a really nice purse last year. It can't turn out that well two years in a row. What I think is a great gift for another person usually bombs. There was a time when I was young and single (now I'm old and single again) when there was something kind of exciting about shopping close to Christmas or on Christmas Eve. That last minute hustle and bustle of shoppers on a mission, last minute bargains. It was fun just to be a part of it, even if I didn't NEED to be there. Those days are long gone. Even the grocery store was elbow to elbow and all the cashiers had long lines. Maybe we're less patient as we get older, or we're more easily annoyed. Maybe it's the decline in service offered by stores that can't compete with on-line shopping. The parking lots may be full, but I will say they aren't as bad as before the Internet. Nobody is cussing you out because they want your space. That's an improvement.  |
| I went with some friends to a botanical garden about 70 minutes away by Interstate. It was beautiful at night. They have a different theme each year. This year it was art. We were treated to outdoor scenes from O"Keefe, Surat, and Monet to name a few, in light displays. They have pools all over, so the displays close to the water were reflected in the dark. There were giant flowers that you could reach out and touch, except that you might trip on all the ground lights.Lighted signs gave the artist name and a copy of the original painting that inspired the display. Pop culture featured Pokemon. In the children's section, there were animals and children at play in lights. They even had a maze, the title itself formed in light strands. Instead of corn or boxwood. they had a simple wire fence with Christmas lights. It was easy for a parent to find a child who couldn't find the right turn on his own. There was a giant peacock that apparently is put up each year in various locations. There was a quilt to reflect folk art. There were even 3 foot figures to represent Faberge eggs. Every tree or pole was wrapped in lights. The bridges and walks were draped with lights. Some areas featured several shades of orange. Others mixed purple and blue. Some mixed several shades of blue with green. It was spectacular. Inside the observatory was a giant tree made of artificial flowers where you could pose for photos and assistants to use your camera. There were toy trains that ran around hundreds of mums under glass. Even though it wasn't particularly Christmas or any holiday in theme, it was breath-taking and awesome. It put you in the holiday spirit. Our group had dinner there in the cafeteria. We also visited their unusual gift shop. There were many children there on a weeknight, and school was not out yet. You don't have to celebrate Christmas to enjoy a light show like this. But for the Christian or anyone celebrating another holiday, this kind of event intensifies the joy and the splendor. The genius involved designing these displays, and the long tedious hours building them are to be commended. |
| Some people complain about hearing Christmas music every where they go this time of year. How about music you don't choose all year long? Many stores play their music too loud, or the lyrics just aren't right for family shopping. You don't choose the music you hear the rest of the year, so why complain that someone else chooses for you in December? Frankly, I like it. I sometimes I hear covers that are new to me. I usually sing or hum along. I don't care what other people think. I know the lyrics, and many are full of memories. I also sing along with Beatle tunes, or Motown. If they played swing or Johnny Mathis any where, I'd sing along to those, too. I'm partial to any Christmas song by Johnny Mathis or Bing Crosby. I also like Alan Jackson, Burl Ives, Jimmy Buffet, and Gene Autrey Christmas albums. I used to have a John Denver Christmas album that I thought was a little unusual, but it was broken in a move. I like the carols that I know by heart from childhood (carols are religious only). These are great for singing to babies very softly. I recently saw Kelly Clarkson sing My Grownup Christmas List; her performance brought tears to my eyes. I could see myself running a year round Christmas shop. I would enjoy the lights, the trees, the ornaments all year long. That would mean Christmas music, too, but with a greater variety. I could play Handel's Messiah, or the full Nutcracker Suite. The fragrances of the season would be featured all the time. From a business point of view, you'd have to offer some anytime gifts, candles, or foods, to make sure customers came in even when they weren't planning Christmas decorating or gifts. Today I've been singing Mele Kelikimaka and Where Are You Christmas? You know I haven't heard Blue Christmas once this year. I'll sing that one next. I confess I have a weakness for Auld Lang Syne. There's just this beautiful melancholy air about it. |
| If you watch TCM, the answer is yes. A Christmas movie has to start off with a dysfunctional family. That can be extremely dysfunctional or mildly or you might say it's a family with a little problem. It can be a single person, as in Miracle on 34th Street or Shop Around the Corner, but with dating or family issues. By the end of the movie, there has to be resolution and a reinforcement of the family unit. That happens in Die Hard' the terrorists who occupy most of the story just further complicate the family brokenness and aid inadvertently in its restoration. The Hallmark movies qualify in that a grown child usually has left home for the big city, and the family is about to lose the poinsettia farm or the Christmas tree farm or whatever. Or said child feels she has outgrown the small town values and feels ashamed when caught mocking them. In the end, the farms are saved, "big business" does not build a ski resort or high rise condos, friendships and family are restored, and the right boy gets the right girl. If rich people or royalty are involved, they are brought down to earth, and the commoner who has intruded into their lives is appreciated and accepted. Happy endings all abound. With these formulas, you have movies like Scrooged, Bad Santa, and Bad Mom's Christmas. These qualify as Christmas movies since they all involve broken family relationships or broken people who are reconciled and redeemed by the movie's end. But they are NOT for children. The language and situations are adult oriented. I know adults who will not watch movies with prolific profanity or nudity or too many sexual references. (Bad Mom's might be the worse. They even swear in church, and there is a scene where a male stripper gets a wax job.) With TCM's parameters, not all Christmas movies are child worthy. Die Hard may be a Christmas movie, but it's probably too violent or scary for children under 10. Holiday Inn and White Christmas may be clean and wholesome, but children get bored with the adult story lines. For children, the story should be fantasy, as in Polar Express, involve children, or be told from a child's point of view. In fact using TCM criteria, we could take a look at the Nativity Story, not made into a movie all of its own, as far as I know, but tacked into some other ones with foreign accents. You start off with a dysfunctional family: a man and a woman newly betrothed who have not slept together and he finds out she's pregnant. He doesn't want to disgrace her or let her get stoned to death, but it's not his child. The "terrorists" are angels who show up to each of them, saying "Don't be afraid, just because I'm blazing bright light and look like something you've never seen before". The angel tells them, "Stay cool. Take a deep breath, it's going to be okay." They both go along, hardly knowing each other, two poor working class people traveling for taxation and registration. They have a baby in a cave or lean-to with scratchy straw and the smell of animals. That very night, shepherds smelling of sheep show up with tales of angels and heavenly messages. They want to see the newborn and say he's going to be a king. The young couple think they're crazy. What a madcap night this is! But there's the usual miracle and beauty of a healthy newborn baby who captures both their young hearts (she's just a young teenager). Within two years magi from faraway places show up with gifts and camels and worship their toddler son. What a strange marriage they've had. Now an angel shows up to bewildered Joseph to tell him to go home to Nazareth with his growing family.You could say they've resolved the conflict. So it could be a Christmas movie, maybe the ultimate one. |
| We've had some flurries, but now expect a big snowfall tonight. I'm going out soon to the store to gather up some supplies. We have milk, bread, and toilet paper, but there's a long list of non-snow stuff.Maybe we'll do some Christmas shopping. I've got sore arms from doing TRX training at the gym. I do this every week, and every week, I get sore, but it seems like a different set of muscles hurt. I have a little more muscle tone in general, but I just can't give up all the junk food and diet sodas. I went to a brunch yesterday where there were so many goodies! Mini ham biscuits and fruitcake cookies were my favorite. But I had to sample everything. I fixed oyster stew for Dad's supper last night. I spilled the black pepper, which made it a little too hot for me. Yet he loved it, and I didn't mind, even though my throat was burning. I have plans for Christmas morning, if the weather holds out. My brother is undergoing chemo and radiation. He has his next treatment two days before Christmas, so we know he'll be too sick to go out. He lives about 30 minutes out in the country from me. He's losing weight and his appetite is down, but he loved the cranberry fruit relish I made at Thanksgiving, which another brother took to him with other holiday foods from my house. So I'm going to make a batch just for him and some sausage stuffing. We eat oyster stew on Christmas morning. Since all the kids are now doing Santa with their own children, we older ones still gather for breakfast. So I'll carry him some oyster stew and crackers. He can heat it up when he has a little appetite. He mostly just grazes now, a little at a time, any time of day. I'll take his present, too, and some cookies. His guests will end up eating them. The turkey won't be ready when I go out. So someone else will carry him a meal later to have the next day. It won't be a traditional Christmas without him. Traditions change, even when they've gone on for almost half a century. We emptied out the attic, mostly Christmas decor, in order to get new duct work put in. So it's all still down. My dad is doing the decorating. At 90, he's doing most of it, which he left to the rest of us until he retired just a few years ago. He's trying to put every thing up. I keep telling him, we don't use every thing every year, not enough room, we rotate displays. He keeps breaking ornaments, arthritic fingers, not knowing how things work. The younger brother and I just shrug our shoulders and are glad he's excited about something. We need to give away some things any way; we just didn't plan to discard the antique glass ornaments. Dad gave up driving. I have to take him Christmas shopping a few times a week. He forgets what he already bought and duplicates some effort. His hearing is terrible, so I hate yelling at him in stores that he already bought so and so something, or the girls are too old for preschool toys. It makes me sound abusive or like a Scrooge. Some folks may get less from him, while others get more. I'm trying to keep on track, but I can't overrule him on too much. He has some dignity. And it's hard for me to shop on my own. I feel guilty going out and making him stay home, but I have to do so occasionally. There's the walking issue, the fatigue issue, and his not feeling well issue. And he feels obligated to pay for anything I pick up, which I don't want. A present from me should be paid for by me. I do order on-line. So I'm learning not to sweat the small things. If it doesn't go according to plans, oh well. |
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