%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
2024. Going anywhere inside my little world. |
| Come on the adventures of a little mouse as she writes about her opinions and her life. |
| I didn't get anything done today. I told myself that if I were to do anything today that I was either going to dig out and organize my craft box (because that is where my mouse drawings are) or clean out and organize my clothes bin so that I could fold and put away the clean ones out of my hamper. Saying that I couldn't get myself to do either of those things I didn't do anything. I couldn't get myself to do anything because I was nauseous and tired. Taking a nap for an hour didn't help. I did get on WdC a few times and typed up some answers to questions on forums and the newsfeed. I also jotted down the prompts to a few contests. The time to get entries in on a couple of the contests passed, but I put in my Monthly goals on Habit Heroes to enter two contests this month and I will do it. I also have kept up with writing for 15 minutes per day; keeping an offline journal again and scratching notes on stories. I have to go see my Psychiatrist Amy tomorrow. I don't really want to go. It is one of those "We have to see you at least once every three months" appointments. Take an hour bus ride down there, have a 15 minute appointment of basically "there's nothing new going on", "Okay see you next time", just to take an hour bus ride back home.... If I can focus enough, I might get the rest of a book read on the bus and waiting in the lobby...... I'm having one of those "I need to write but I don't know what to write" moments...I should grab a notebook and write the essay on my faith that I want to write for a contest....but I don't know where to begin yet. My writing brain is working very slow lately.... I should also work on the next chapter of my novel I put in Habit Heroes to write.....My body is giving me the excuse of it is too late in the day and I'm just too tired. My mind wants to vegitate for the rest of the night.... Being talked about.... I always think I am being talked about. I am paranoid that way. I wish it were the other way, I seriously do. I feel invisible sometimes and it is a very comfortable and content feeling. I feel every step I take is wrong. Every time I open my mouth most often it tends to upset someone. My therapists used to tell me all the time that I was not a mind reader and that people could just as easily be saying something nice about me. Somehow I just can't convince myself of that. It is easier to think that they don't notice me at all; that I am not worth their time. I just got Terry upset because I suggested that we needed to schedule time that I could have just to me. She went in her room and said I could have the rest of the night. She never goes in her room before 9 pm. She said she wasn't upset and that she was tired of my getting upset and pouting over things. She interrupted me when the words were flowing on this entry to get her dinner. i had only planned to add another sentence or two and then I would of got it for her. But she had to have it that second. It is not even my job to feed her. David is getting paid to do it. I'm telling you they would be in a hell of a place if it wasn't for me being here.... I need to go find something to calm me down before I try to sleep..... |
| What do I put in here today? I hurt a lot today so all I wanted to do was sleep. Didn't help that 30% of it was chest pain and another 20% was abdominal cramps. I should have grabbed the oxygen as I was having bad headaches and sinuses and it felt like I couldn't get a full breath. David has taken over putting my pills in my box and he had everything so messed up. He had me thinking I needed like six of them refilled right away. After I went through my small bin of medications I realized he had been hoarding empty bottles. It gives me a dozy of a headache trying to reorganize something that I had organized before but someone else has come in and messed it all up. I'm still having David fill my boxes but I'm going to keep a little bit of a closer eye on it and go through it after he gets done. Things were basically back to normal today. The holidays are officially over. Everyone went back to work.It is a good thing and a bad thing. It is good because everyone will be getting their money again and won't be trying to borrow from us. It is bad though because we won't hear from them as much and will worry plus they won''t have time to come by and help us out. I worked on painting the angels wings today. She is looking so good. I'm glad that the small details like her face were already done when I got her. It just adds to the overall right look of her. I also did a little bit of touching up on Terry's dreamcatcher. |
| I just got through cleaning out my portfolio. Some old things I kept but I might delete a bunch more soon. There is so much I want to do this year. I want to take care of my health better. I have sworn off pop/soda and sugary sweets. I am going to eat regularly instead of skipping meals. I'm going to test my sugar like I'm supposed to. I need to accept that I am a major diabetic and I need to watch these things..... I want to take care of my mental state. I am going to meditate more regularly and take my medications as prescribed. I'm also going to learn more about myself by learning more about my personality. I want to change the things I don't like. I have made a commitment to myself that I don't want to hurt myself anymore. I want to live and prosper. I'm going to get back into my Tai Chi and exercise regularly. I'm tired of not being able to do things I once could. I should not have to use a cane around the house nor a walker when I go out. I should be able to have flexibility without pain. I want to make a new commitment to my spirituality and my magick. I want to learn more about my abilities and develop them more. This may sound like a big order, but really it isn't. I give myself until the 22nd to establish my New Year's Resolutions because my first year did not start until then. (yes, January 22 is my birthday). I will take things slow and not chastise myself if I mess up. Each day is a new opportunity to get it right. "You can't please everyone so you might as well please yourself" sometimes even pleasing yourself is a task. I promise myself that I will try to do these things to the best of my ability and take them on with a light heart. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
Love it! I hope "Kristy Parkers" is revived and publishes very soon!
It's probably cheaper to just buy regular stamps and use a piece of paper and envelope to send the stuff instead of buying a postcard. 
