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2024. Going anywhere inside my little world. |
| Come on the adventures of a little mouse as she writes about her opinions and her life. |
| I don't know what to say today..... I've been sick but don't really know how to explain it. I feel like I have been tortured. My arms and legs feel like they have been stretched beyond their limits. my head feels like it is in a vice grip. my nose wants to be stuffed up and run at the same time. my jaw feels like I tried to eat something way too big. my upper spine feels like a stack of change that constantly grinds together with each movement. my lower spine feels like I am being bent in half backwards.... All I wanted to do today was sleep. I was either in my bed or curled up in my living room recliner trying to do that. My head is stuffed with fluff. I put my glasses on and it feels like the room is magnified. my ears are full of crumbled wax. Anything that touches me anywhere hurts. if there isn't anything touching I feel numb. My RLS and my Parkinson's was kicking my butt today. I did manage to get downstairs and found some of my crafts but not my tools for diamond painting. OH well. I'm slowly getting stuff back. Right now I am just so tired.......my body feels like i t is made of lead....... I'm not looking for sympathy. This is just what my life was today and what I had to write about. |
| My friend is in crisis. She says she is my sister sent to fill the void that my biological sister left when she passed. but she doesn't talk to me. When she comes to the house she shuts herself in with Terry in Terry's room. It pisses me off. It makes me feel like she thinks that I don't know anything and couldn't possibly understand. How can I make her see that I have been where she is? That I do know what she is going through? All I want is to be here for her. To have her lean on me because I know she can't stand on her own right now. How do I express to her that I need her too? She reminds me of where I was and makes me see how far I've come. I am an addict and I have taken several courses in psychology. I have several different mental health diagnoses and have researched them all. I am a graduate of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy. I am an eclectic witch and was raised Roman Catholic so I know a little bit about spirituality and religion. I know techniques and methods of centering oneself. I can help her if she would let me. |
| week one prompt one 300 words a day? I was never good at making word counts, I was always over or under. I resolved to write for at least 15 minutes every day. Okay, so sometimes it is a 2 minute grocery list, followed by an offline journal entry about how I loathe making grocery lists (3 minutes) then 5 minutes of mindless scribbling that turns into 2 minutes of free writing and finally a 5 minute blog entry. Yesterday I didn't do the blog entry but I did write for 5 minutes on a chapter of my novel but I scrapped it (It still counts, I did write it). prompt two sell the house I resolve to sell the house.... my neighbor's house that is. I wonder if I can really do that? Madge is a lovely woman who always smells of a different mixture of alcohols and cheap perfumes. She wears too much makeup and the colors always clash with whatever mumu she is wearing that day. She comes to my house at least three times a week for various reasons, usually involving something she wants help with in her yard. .... and whatever she describes does not coincide with what is actually in her yard. week two prompt one no resolutions That is one heck of a resolution. I've tried it myself several times but I always fail. I keep saying resolutions are for people who like to fail because they constantly put unrealistic expectations on themselves. I did make resolutions this year. I resolved to do things I was already doing rather successfully. Besides that, for me, up until January 22 is practice. I figure my first official year didn't start until then so I don't have to crack down right away. prompt two take a hike Something that I am definitely not doing, though I may tell others to. I can not even walk across the room without a cane. Now that there is snow on the ground (even if it doesn't stay this time) I will probably use my walker when I go out. I tend to fall a lot in the winter. If I didn't have to go out I wouldn't but there are just things that need to be done. |
I get unexpected nice gifts in the mail all the time now. Schnujo is Late to Lannister   sends me packages and notes through the Snail Mail Group. I feel bad that I can't send things back or pay it forward and send stuff to others in the group. I just don't get out much to be able to pick up stamps and they have become so expensive. Sooner or later though I will get this done.Before becoming a Snail Mail member, I was getting somewhat unexpected gifts from my friend Jersey John. John and I met when I tried to go into the Air Force (which is a whole nother can of worms I won't go into right now) back in 1986. Since then, John have been through all kinds of ups and downs to the point that he says I stoled his soul and keep it in a bottle around my neck. He has gotten married and had a daughter since we met, but nothing seems to be able to break the bond we share. There is a special link between us that transcends friendship and even love. Council on Aging was here this morning to ask some questions about income and such. I will have to see if I can get into the Social Security website and see if I can print off proof of income. If not, than she is SOL on obtaining mine from me. She is going to be back to bring us a load from the food pantry. Terry and David want me to create a sign for the front of the house asking that people use the side door. David was just explaining to me how to hang it like I was some kind of doofus. I hate it when he does that. It is worse than when he would treat me like a child. Will probably add more later. It's later. Write what you want. There's a loaded prompt if I ever heard one. Some of the things I really want too write about in my blog here I either don't know if I can or I'm pretty sure I can't because of the rating. Then again I'm not sure. The WdC rating system has always boggled my mind. There are some pretty smart kids out there that know a whole lot more than what we think they do. Then there are some .... adults..... who are shall we just say easily offended. I always go by my old standby that I heard somewhere "When in doubt, up the rating." There's a second part that goes "If you think it might belong in a higher rating, you're probably right." Anyways I hate anything that puts a limit on where my writing can take me and that includes ratings. I don't feel like writing any more than that. |
| dissident - an opposition to official policy......That is so me lately....for the most part. Everything that I come across lately that has some form of rules or official policy I am finding fault with. I just seem to come up with a scenario where they would have to make an exception to the rule. For instance: whoever heard of a 500+ word count on a synopsis? Okay, maybe there has been but I don't think it is the norm.... Just had the word pop into my head as I was trying to think of what to write....... My day was full of deep boredom as per usual. I didn't sleep that great last night so I wouldn't let anyone oppose me going back to bed at 8 after getting up at 7. Hey, I let the dog out and made coffee. I got back up at 10. Can't really think of anything that I did do today. I got on WdC a couple of times, as always. Didn't really get any inspiration or anything. Surfed around Facebook a bit and signed up for a couple of free pamphlets (they had the nerve to call them free books) on a couple of subjects so that I could glance at them later for possible inspiration or just offhanded information that I might put in a story. Oh. Yesterday I got some of my birthday gifts in the mail. Terry ordered me 5 diamond paintings. I started working on one of them today.I couldn't get comfortable doing it in the craft room though otherwise I probably would have worked on it more. I would like to bring it in my room but all Terrry keeps saying is she remembers me getting the diamonds all over the place when I worked on them in the apartment we shared back when. I think I would actually be getting more of them all over if I was to be using my tools that I haven't located as yet. II don't know. I got a $25 visa gift card from a friend for my birthday and ordered stuff I didn't really want. I got a garbage can for my room that if it is the 3 gallons it said it was supposed to be I'll eat my hat. It's only two if it is lucky. I got the spray to finish the ceeramics we painted but no Terry says she can't do it and I can't do it because I just know I'll ruin them.. Finally we got a pottery wheel coming.Can you see the mess that is going to be? I should have ordered one of the magick kits I was looking at but I kept thinking of what Terry and David would say about it. OH well. Life goes on, such as it is. It's only 7:10 pm and I am ready to go to bed. I'm starting to fall back into the habits of 2023. I'll try to do something bettter tomorrow. |
| "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning." I question everything in my life. Today I started doing my mice work in multi-media. While I am much more pleased with the results, I'm still questioning the quality, of course, and I am not done yet with either one. I also am debating on doing at least one more as a bonus to make up for how long it is taking me. I do however stick by my decision to not start drawing before knowing the recipient. There's just different themes you use whether you have a male or female audience, though I guess I could of done them with the general public in mind. I went with my worker this morning to drop my library books off and pick up my glasses. I really liked my eyeglasses until David made the offhanded comment about them being for a male. The Terry had to add "well she always does get stuff for men". I thought I was pulling away from my tom boy ways now that I am no longer looking for a mate of either gender. The Higher Powers did put me in a feminine form after all..... I lived up to another resolution. I had made goals for just January and one of the goals was to enter two WdC contests this month. I entered "Share Your Faith" on the 5th and entered "Merit Badge Magic" on the 7th. I feel so good about it I'm considering entering at least one more. I got so bored yesterday that I reviewed one piece. I don't push myself to review much just because, like everything else, I feel like I don''t do it right. I suppose if I were to review more I might earn more gps in t he long run but that's not enough incentive to get me past how hard it is for me to do it. Okay, back to the prompt, I guess. I feel as though you should constantly question everything. I don't know who said it but one of my favorite sayings is "the only stupid question is the one that isn't asked". There's a point in there somewhere. how do you learn what you don't know if you don't first admit to not knowing? Every person really does have unlimited potential if they take the time to seek out what their talent is. Somewhere inside each person is at least one thing that they were meant to be good at; not just good, spectacular. Problem is most people pursue things that are not that one thing. Not only that, but other people are always pointing out to them what they are doing wrong. This begs the question, what is it I was meant to be good at? Well, believe it or not, I am very good at psychology. It allows me to create realistic characters with true to life problems. It also helps me understand a lot of people (that and the fact that I am very empathic). I also am very sensitive to the supernatural so I am good at believing in people. Of course I've always been good at writing and making up stories. That was the only thing in my life that there weren't too many blocks put before me. Oh, except for the "The odds of making a living at writing are astronomical. You better have something to fall back on." Of course, if I wasn't such a chicken I would have run away to New York to pursue my lifelong dream at some point or another. Okay, this is long enough. My eyes are starting to see double even with my new glasses. ....... Never stop pursuing your dreams....... |
| It's hard throwing together an entry every night with the life I lead. I don't do anything. I did work on my mouse drawings today. Doing them in just pencil is frustrating a little bit. I might ask JR Pete if i can change them to mixed media. I may even try painting them. It is just so hard. As I have said since I agreed to do this I am just a rank ameuter when it come to art in general and drawing in particular. I opened the 50/30/20 Raffle today. I started it in order to generate GPs to be able to help out around WdC by spending them in the different contests, activities and shops, not to mention making donations to the worthy causes. December and doing Secret Santa wiped out the gps in both my personal fund and the group's fund. As I said, I've got the Raffle open again..... It's just doing about as much generating gps around here as my 3 c-note shops.... Mercy, Nobility, Badges. Mercy - compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm: Nobility - Noble - having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles and ideals: As far as badges are concerned, if you belong to WdC and don't know what they are yet, you haven't been here very long.... What do these things mean to me? Not much really. I'd like more to see someone have the courage to stand up for their own principles and ideals. Otherwise what are they but mere words? A person with morals is someone to look to for advice and aspire to be like. It's just that the word noble brings to mind those weird people with powdered wigs and fake moles from some or other bygone era. So much for our prompt. I haven't been doing many of them lately because they either don't apply to me or don't inspire me. Usually both. I'm doing okay on one resolution so far. I do write for 15 minutes each day. Okay so a couple of times I have thrown it out afterwards but it still counts. Like I said in the beginning, I have no life really. It's an existence. I need to work on that somehow but right now all I want to work on is sleep. |
my entry for a contest.... Of Man and Mouse Written by Kristin Claire, It centers around Harlan Newman, a struggling artist on the verge of starvation, and little Kirby Dime, a mouse who is small for his age and is thought to never amount to much by his kind. The story takes off when Kirby decides to reveal to Harlan that mice are able to speak amongst other tricks. Kirby begins telling Harlan about the dreams he has and the stories that he makes up. Together they decide to write and illustrate a book, which in the end proves to be a best seller. 100 words |
| I feel like I accomplished a lot today, even if I think it was all crap..... I wrote an entry for the Share Your Faith contest. I kept telling myself that I was going to but I thought it would come out better than it did..... I definitely don't think it will win.....Oh well. It satisfies half of my goal for the month. I put a sketch of one of my Nezoom characters on the newsfeed but of course I don't like that either...... I deleted my lyrics folder and everything that was in it. I was mostly putting stuff in there that I didn't write, I just inherited it from my friend Eric. He mailed it to me just before his death..... it was only a sad memory that made me try to put it on here. Worse it reminded me of Erci and LIsa.....I still have trouble with them.......Most of the time when I think of them I think I should be with them but I am too chicken to do it.....Needless to say it is just better to delete the lyrics out of here and put t hem away for when, if ever, I can truly deal with it properly...... Now I'm writing this and thinking it is all wrong. I don't want to be a downer this time around in my blog. I wrote more than 15 minutes today. That should feel better than it does. I have to do something to get me back in the swing of things. I tried to dry brush the angel's wings with gold today but it was just making them look dirty. I don't really want to paint much any more.Everything seems to be coming out worse and worse. I need to finish my mouse drawings that I promised I would do. I have t hem drawn it is just getting the second one colored in and I want to do something nice with them not just drawings on pieces of paper. I don't know. we'll see what I come up with. I am a creative little mouse after all..... |
| Here we go again.... Terry is telling me I need to get a small fridge for my room and move my microwave in here. I have the smallest room in the house and there is no way I can fit all the stuff they want me to put in here. Also, there is the fact that I can't afford a fridge and my microwave is a piece of junk that might as well be replaced. I just told myself that if they want me to have a fridge so bad they can buy it and figure out where to put it. (and they better not move any of the stuff I want out). I am so tired. I think I've gotten about ten hours of sleep in the past three days. I went through my clothes today. I had to in order to be able to put my clean clothes away. I weeded out a whole garbage bag of clothes and hung a bunch of stuff up. I have almost a whole bin of pants and only about eight shirts. oh well. I'll get more. I''m not looking forward to my birthday. I don't think anyone is going to do anything for it. Terry did order me some diamond painting stuff for it. I tried to order myself a book for my birthday but it didn't go through. I have $100 left to be able to spend in January. I wish I could do something like go to the mall with it but these days that isn't nearly enough money to spend a day there. Terry is also saying that I need to buy stuff for the house and that we need things like cranberry pills and allergy medicine and wants me to get it because I've got this healthy benefits thing that gives me $120 to spend on necessary over the counter stuff. Between her telling me what I am to do with that and telling me what to do with my food stamps I am really almost ready to look for my own place. I probably won't do it, unless it is just dreaming, but it is a nice thought to get out of here. I am getting more time to myself to get things done. Tonight almost went back to the way it was. Terry got up and got her own drinks and stuff tonight but I didn't feel like I was able to retreat to m y room until after 9 pm. Like I said I'm t ired. |
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Love it! I hope "Kristy Parkers" is revived and publishes very soon!
It's probably cheaper to just buy regular stamps and use a piece of paper and envelope to send the stuff instead of buying a postcard. 
