Well-written, this poem expresses the wonder of the daily questions of life. Those questions that we search for when lost in life, and the answers that the writer gives us are so obvious, we just seem to overlook them using our own doubts. A wonderful poem for anyone to read and enjoy, over and over.
Jellybean has given us a wonderful treat when we read this poem of love. A gift of a child brings so much to our lives, that sometimes we neglect to see the real things that we as parents, give back to that child. This should be a something practiced and told to children on a daily basis. The spacing from the first four lines and no other spacing nearly threw me, but the writer's words pulled my distraction away. Great job!
Perfect. How many of us want to latch on to something that we believe so much in that we have always been told is lore. But, doesn't lore, or fairytales stem from reality and truth? Our imaginations surely work, but doesn't it come from something inside saying it's real, or has been? Well, that's my belief, and I would love to ride on that "beast" and let it take me to the land of....well, I'll let the readers figure that one out. Great job!
A short story that is sure to bring a smile to the reader's face. Something that all parents, I'm sure, have experienced at one time or another. The reality of the story is what gives it such a good setting. The writer does a wonderful job with the descriptions, and I found no spelling or grammar errors in this poem. Very good job.
Excellent. Many times have something so similiar peaked into my conscious thought, only for me to push it back out as quickly as I could. For fear of letting go? Possibly. For fear of rejected? Most definately. It seems that some day, I may have to put those words out there as well. You've written a soul-searching letter to one that has turned away.
Oh, my. This story sent chills over my skin, over and over again. What a nightmare that must have been. I can't even begin to imagine how very scary that must have been. I know when my children have been injured it terrifies me, but NEVER have I had done quit breathing. Your description is so vivid, I still feel the fear deep inside my chest. What a blessing and miracle you have experienced.
*Laughing so hard tears are falling* Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry to laugh, but I truly know how you feel. My son, age nine, also has it bad for the axe effect. And it's true that, the cloud of body spray does follow the sprayer throughout the house and to the car. He actually sprayed it outside one time, and it lasted for at least an hour....whew.....I don't see how the girls can stand to be there. Great story.
A budding writer.....this one is finding her way into the world of artists. Painting pictures with her words, gifting the readers with the budding inspiration of a new writer on WDC. I do recommend that the writer goes back and looks the work over.. line 16 reads "So I'll look an old photograph", should this read "So I'll look at an old photograph"?
Wow..brings back memories of riding....closing my eyes to the sunshine as we walk along....the wind blowing back my hair, making my cheeks red. The writer has the ability to bring back those memories into a reality of pictures, racing through the reader's mind. Although it is a great poem, I think it would be better if it can make the ones that have never ridden "feel" it.
Put in an excellent form! This is something that everyone needs to read. I completely agree with this statement. The confusion of getting a great review, only to receive a small amount of stars is very confusing for any writer. It pulls them down that spiral of no return, making them doubt the ability of their work and their words. No one should have to endure that. Give reasons for what you don't like, or that you found wrong. Even if it's something you're not quite sure of.
What a beautiful poem of a lifetime of love. A true love that beckons to a youth, and lasts throughout hardships and greatness. This poem flows smoothly for the reader, and is well-written with no errors. I am unable to give the writer any recommendations due to the wonderful job they have done.
This is a good poem. I did have a problem with the flow, but I think I might know what it is. Of course, these are merely suggestions and the writer is asked to take these and do with them as they please. I found that in the beginning, every line would rhyme. Towards the end, that changed. There were some lines that did not, and I think that broke the rhythym of the poem some. I did like the emotions that played in this poem, and the reader easily picks up on the changes in the moods and is able to understand it.
A truly sweet poem. This poem expresses the need to be accepted, and the realization that we are no one else other than ourself. It expresses the knowledge of knowing that true love only comes when we are truthful to ourselves. I found no errors. Well done.
Beautifully written, this poem reaches home to my heart and soul, begging to find the same comfort, but not able to. The love felt is a love that will never be given back in return. It is well-written, and I found no erros. It flows smoothly from screen to reader. Nicely done.
Excellent! This writer has the ability to catch our attention with the truth in the beginning, holding onto it throughout the length of the poem, and finishing with a gift that we all cherish. This poem flows smoothly and I found no errors within. I enjoyed reading it and hope that others soon find themselves doing the same.
I really liked this poem. It expresses the happenings of life that we miss out on, and the unanswered questions. It also expresses the truth in the love when the age old question never has to be answered. The only suggestion I would have is to look again at the rhythym of this poem. Although most of the lines rhyme well, there are lines left out there. In the same breath, it seems to fit this poem. Therefore, the writer has a choice to build on this poem, or leave as is. An interesting choice of writing.
This is a deeply emotional poem that tugs at the heartstrings of the reader. Feeling the pain of the loss of a love that will never be regained. It paints a picture of the need and the pain that brings turmoil and upsets the balance. I found no errors and this poem flowed smoothly. I feel it is written in excellence with emotions placed in the perfect order. Great job.
I see there are others that do not rate the same as I do. I take all that I can into consideration. Although this poem is short, and the rhythym varies, I feel that is an expressive poem that reaches out to all "Little Girl"s deep inside of us. I also feel that it is well written. The flow could be worked on as it seems to slow in areas, but is still a great piece of work.
Excellent! This poem is such an inspiring write that anyone who reads it is bound to take another look. It gives us pause to remember that our talents come from something much more than just human genes and brains. It comes from someone touching our heart and begging us to reach out to others, and this writer does an wonderful job of that. I found no errors in this poem. It flows smoothly and was a wonderful source of inspiration!
Raw emotion pours from this poem. Frustration, anger, hurt, and even something which we don't want to name is hidden in the depths of this poem. Although short, its depth is greater than we anticipate when we start reading this poem. It pulls the strings of emotions, stirring them to life, while ending it with life itself. Great job!
A beautifully written poem, giving prayer to Him and asking that forgiveness be given in the light of faith. Humbly seeking the strength and courage to do what must be done for the sake of the younger one. I really enjoyed this poem. Great job and keep up the wonderful work.
This is a good start, but I really think that it could be built on. But, that is my opinion. You have no errors and it is something that you could build upon to give detail to the passion. Even if it is in a brief kiss, you can detail what it done to you. This is only my opinion and it is only given in hopes to see you expand on this poem. I hope it does not offend.
A unique poem that stands out for itself. Johnny does a good job of getting the reader's attention starting with the title. One simple word reaches out to grab. Then, he fullfills his writing throughout the poem to keep the attention giving detail to the simplicity of a life and how it starts. Very nice.
This is a very sweet and endearing poem. The only reason I did not rate this poem any higher is that I felt the rhythym changed in this poem a bit. I also noted that there were lines that rhymed, and some that did not. I'm not sure if this was intended, but it pulled away from the poem I think. Mind you, this is merely my suggestion. I am by no means an outstanding writer myself, so do not be offended. Otherwise, this poem has a lot of potential.
*Sniffle* This is such a wonderfully heart felt story. I can almost feel the love bursting from the words to grab me in a warm, gentle hug. I think that you have written a great story that will have many people thinking of times gone by and the joys they brought. I found no errors although, with something this sweet, I'm not sure I was looking to find them. :)
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