A simple short story that starts out good enough and hints at the hidden dangers. It almost breaths a life of horror/scary but doesn't give in to the details that would normally send chills down the reader's spine. A good story still.
Wow! This one has a spin that threw me way out. I didn't see the ending coming, but it is so very true. We do become that routine, but what if we changed that. Are we wrong for who we are, or are we wrong for staying and becoming who we are not? This story makes us question life and the reasons for the things we do.
A truely new spin to the old childhood tale that we all remember so well. This story is definately got a unique spin to it that keeps the readers wanting to read more and more. A bit more detailed than the older version, but the newness is sure to help with keeping the attention. Good job!
Such a short, yet sweet poem that expresses the love with ease. This poem flows through the reader and gives them the ability see this love as if it were their own. Great job!
Excellent. Being on both ends of the relationship spectrum has taught me that things are always going to be difficult in a relationship. Especially the part where the breakup is concerned. I agree with your opinion. Sometimes we dwell too long on the good and the bad of the relationship when we should be just getting on with life. It's too short to dwell for too long.
Country Mom has a talent of making life seem so simple and beautiful at all times. This poem expresses that love for life and flows smoothly for the reader to grasp ahold of the picture she paints. It has no errors to ripple the effect. Keep on writing lady!
Ahh.....a definate surprise from my dearest Cowboy. He tricks the mind...leading the reader to one place, then choking them with the reality at the end when showing them the other. It's a true surprise ending, but the effect the writer has is no surprise. I did find a few errors, but nothing to deter from the story. Just double check your grammar so you know you've got it right dear one!
A well-written poem that expresses the questions that humankind has expressed many times. Is there such a thing? I believe that only the reader can answer the question lined in this poem. It is well-written and flows smoothly. This new author gives a small glimpse of the talent that lies within. I can't wait to see more.
WordMaestro is most definately a Maestro. His words paint vivid pictures and builds inspiration among his readers. He has a talent to build his poetry with or without a rhyme scheme and it is a joy to read his work. A talented author budding from the darkness to shed his light upon us. I look forward to reading more of his work.
I do believe that last line of the first stanza does detract a bit from this poem, but I believe the "ev'ry" takes away even more. Otherwise, this is a good poem that reaches from the inner soul to the reader. It flows smoothly. Good job.
Perfect Brooke! Of course, I expected nothing less when reading something this talented author produces. She knows how to make life seem so simple in just a few words, but fill them with so much meaning that the reader connects easily and understands. Great job!
A very good poem. This is a poem that speaks out and tells the world, I AM BECAUSE I CAN! It is easy for me to relate to. The only problem that I have in this poem is the on again, off again rhyme pattern. It starts off then falters, and starts back again. I would suggest looking at this, and correcting it.
Excellent! This poem screams out the frustrations and fears of someone dealing with a problem that does not want to go away. The sunshine is covered with dark clouds and one has to hang on tight, or the wind will carry them off. It is vivid with it's emotional descriptions. Well written and flowing smoothly, this poem is an excellent write!
Oh, my. What a gift. This is such a tender and sweet poem that any mother (young or old) can take to heart and knows so well the truth of the words. Mari does a wonderful job of showing the pain it takes to step back, and just be there as needed. Great job!
Mari has a talent to make those that have made compromises think about them, and wonder. She brings back the fact that morals and beliefs are strong in a person, and should always be kept, for they are what makes a person who they are. Thank you, Mari. You will never know what your writings have done for me today.
Here, here Grumpy! This writer has dealt with this long enough, and tells us his/her opinion on the ways that we "help people". What is truly happening is the rich is getting richer, and the poor is getting poorer. Why can't we take what knowledge we have and use it for the greater of ALL mankind. If we all done this, then maybe we would finally get somewhere.
On the actual review side of this, I did find a couple of errors in this editorial. The ones I found were spelling errors, easily fixed. I would recommend having someone look it over as a second set of eyes always seems to catch the mistakes. Otherwise, a fine write.
What a beautiful and inspiring poem that reaches out to touch the soul. I enjoyed reading it, but I felt the rythym was off just a bit. Maybe it was the changes in rhythym, I'm not sure. But even then, it is still a wonderful poem that flows well. Good job!
Sixth line from the beginning, I would recommend changing "Soothes" to 'soothing'. It is so easy to connect with this poem as the song blends in at the ending, reminding us there are many out there, looking to find something to help us fly again. Good job.
What a beautiful and inspiring story of overcoming challenging circumstances. This story was well built, and had an excellent plot. The vivid descriptions allow the reader to nearly put themselves in the young girls shoes and gives us the ability to understand the feelings and concerns that she faces. But, it was the ending that gave me chills. A smile formed on my lips at the courage that she finds through a simple conversation. Excellent job!
Although there are some errors with spelling and grammer, the writer has shown a very sensual and erotic side. The detail given in this story allows for the reader to enjoy the story and nearly feel as if they are there. Again, I would suggest trying for more erotic words and not be in such a hurry.
This one needs some work. The whole "protein shake" ruined the erotic affect the writer is trying for. Although it starts out quite delicious, some of the phrasing is truly more vulgar than erotic. I think if the writer takes their time, building to the end, it would bring more results.
Mmmm......a truly hot story. My problem is...there are grammar errors that really pull from from the sensuality of the story. Reread it, take a slower look at it to find the errors. I know how hard it is when you are writing them, especially if it is a fantasy or based on truth. I think once you do, you will find you like it better, and may find more to add to it.
A well-written poem. It is a very good poem, but there is something there that is missing for me. Unfortunately, I'm not sure exactly what it is. I found no errors, and it seems to flow smooth. I wish I could give more feedback on what exactly it is. All in all though, it is good.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/01redbowtie/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/3
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.28 seconds at 2:08pm on May 17, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
