The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I felt that this piece had a good storyline. I think that you engaged the reader well and I certainly would like to read on to discover more about the characters of Charlotte,Rosey, and James and also to find out exactlly what happened to charlotte's father.
Technical suggestions: I felt that the dialogue was a little cliched in places. However maybe thats the whole point of a pirate story!! I noticed one typo 'the stay strands' I think that this is meant to say stray.
I enjoyed this story and really hope that you decide to finnish it.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I love this very thought provoking piece. I found that I was able to relate to it very easily. Sometimes I think we all have to make dificult decisions and in choosing to save our selves we have to live with the consequences of our decisions. Not all consequences are as severe as in this piece, but each decision we make does have a consequence.
Technical suggestions:None
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: Hi moonbaby, I'm not sure if this is the poem that you wanted me to review. If not email me the title of the one you would like me to look at. I think that this is a really well written poem that tells us true love can save us from even the darkest fate. The imagery that you have used is very effective
Technical suggestions:'Replacing your beautiful eyes with darkness' I found this line a little confusing and had to read it twice. I think that this is because you changed from her to your. If you mean that the person's eyes who are looking at the child of eternity are changed then something like this may work a little better. 'clouding, or filling your beautiful....'
However this is only a small point and does not detract from the rest of the poem.
I really enjoyed this one !!
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is a great poem about the nature of Klingons. It reminds me a little of the spartans in ancient greece a race who's entire life is centred around becoming the greatest warriors.
Technical suggestions: I felt that the rhyme and meter in this poem was excellent througout
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is like a cross between a limerick and a nursery rhyme! Again it made me laugh out loud. I think that this very clever working of a well known rhyme works well.
Technical suggestions: I didn't notice any errors or admissions. I like it just the way it is but wondered if the last line might work well as well if it rhymed with the second line of the second verse.
I enjoyed your poem
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This made me laugh out loud. I love the way that you have combined both comedy and a serious message into this poem/story. I think that there is an important message here for all of us that there is always hope and that it is often possible to find strength in the friendship of others.
Technical suggestions:I do not have any technical suggestions.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: Short and sweet. Well ok maybe not sweet, perhaps a little more like dark chocolate sweet and bitter at the same time. I like the idea behind this poem, comparing the poem to the poet. O think it works well.
Technical suggestions: I feel that you could expand on this theme a little.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is such a hard poem. You have written it in such a way that it is easy to empathise with the protagonist.
Technical suggestions: I found your rhyming scheme worked very well. The penultimate verse has only two lines where as all the others have four. I felt that this threw the meter off a little. Perhaps you might consider writing another two lines to this verse as I feel this would help the overall flow of the piece.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I liked this poem. I felt the short lines of the first verse and the repetition worked well when contrasted against the longer lines of the second verse.
Technical suggestions: I would have liked more! I think that you could expand on this theme repeating the short lines and longer lines to create another two stanzas at least! Then again perhaps i'm just being greedy !!
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: The imagery in this poem is beautiful. The descriptive language that you have used is very vivid and effective making it easy to picture the protagonists thoughts.
Technical suggestions:'In her crying thoughts I see him . . .' In this line you seem to change from the third person to the first which is a little confusing to the reader. I would suggest keeping the third person by changing 'I see 'to 'she sees'. However this is only a personal opinion and you must do what feels right to you. I noticed that you have missed the m off from in the 14th line.
I enjoyed your poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I really enjoyed this poem. I particularly liked the symbolism of the colour of the rose representing different emotions. I think that this worked well.
Technical suggestions:You seem to have an extra line break between the fourth and fifth stanzas. I'm not sure if this is intentional.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression:This is a lovely poem about being in love. I found this poem almost lyrical. I think that it would work well as a song.
Technical suggestions:i remember all i love yous you've said. I love yous needs speech marks. Personally I feel that your i's need to be capitalised although I realise that this can be a topic of debate in poetry.
I enjoyed your poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression:The imagery you use in this poem is very vivid and effective. I think that you gave a very good description of how it feels to be in love, both the pain and the pleasure.
Technical suggestions: I noticed a few typo's In my opinion I feel that 'i' should be capitalised although I realise that this is a matter for debate! Also can't needs an apostrophe. Their becoming needs to be they're or they are to be grammatically correct.
I really enjoyed reading your poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I liked your poem despite the sadness of the piece. You depicted the emotion very well.
Technical suggestions:in the second line you need to capitalise I, and also a question mark after forget. I felt that the meter of the second line faltered a little compared to the rest of the poem. my suggestion would be 'Now I have to ask why you went away?' However this is only a suggestion, it is your poem and you must do what feels right to you.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: Again, a beautiful poem. I think that i am going to have to take out shares in a tissue factory if I read much more of your work !! I only wish that when my mum had taken me to the Doctors that they hadn't turned her away and told her to keep me well away from therapists.
Technical suggestions:None. The rhyme and meter are excellent throughout.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is the most beautiful poem. Whilst I have never been abused in this way I can relate to the feelings of not being able to rely on anyone but myself and feeling angry alone and not understood. This poem moved me to tears and your son is so lucky to have such a wonderful understanding mother.
Technical suggestions:None. This poem moved me to tears.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is such a sad poem. You managed to get the emotions across well in this piece. It was easy to empathise with the pain of the protagonist.
Technical suggestions: For the most part the meter was very good. The second line of the last verse however caused a small bump to my ears. My suggestion would be to loose the and and to add a who before gained. However this is only a personal opinion and you must do what feels right to you.
I enjoyed reading your poem
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: The imagery you have used in this poem is beautiful, vivid and effective. I could easily visualise the flag flowing in the breeze. My favorite part of this poem was the first verse as the description was so clear.
Technical suggestions:I did not notice any errors or areas for improvement.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression:I really liked the flow of this poem and the way you have related all the different feelings works well.
Technical suggestions:I felt a little disappointed at the end of the poem as it almost felt as there was no definite ending. I would have liked to have had a little more to tell me what all these things mean to you. I also felt that you probably didn't need to repeat the words 'the wind' and could have started that line at against.
I enjoyed your poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I believe that the sentiments expressed within this poem are felt by many of us. I felt that the content of this poem was well written with well chosen words.
Technical suggestions: In some places this poem had an excellent meter and flowed well, However In several places I found my self bumping a little over the rhythm. I think that this may partly because you changed the rhyming scheme part way through the poem. I also noticed a typo, you need a space after a comma.
I enjoyed reading your poem.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I like poems that rhyme and poems that tell a story. This does both these things well. The story made me laugh especially the last line.
Technical suggestions: The rhyming felt a little forced in some places. 'cause in the last line of the third verse could do with an apostrophe as it is short for because.
I enjoyed reading this one!
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression:I really like the idea of this poem. Your description of how you used to take your special bear everywhere reminds me of my children with their special teddies!
Technical suggestions:The rhyming was good throughout although I felt that the rhythm faltered in a few places. For example I felt that the last line needed one more syllable whilst some other lines needed one less. I always find that reading out loud helps when trying to work on meter.
I enjoyed your poem
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is a powerful poem about things that lurk in the darkness that others can't see. The imagery you have used in this piece works really well.
Technical suggestions: One of the strong things about this poem is the rhythm. I however felt that this faltered a little in the 4th and 7th verses. A little tweaking here and there and I think that this poem would be perfect!
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: The sentiment of this poem is lovely. You have expressed the safety and love to be found in heaven well.
Technical suggestions:The rhyme falters in the middle as the ninth, tenth and eleventh line do not follow the same rhyme scheme as the rest of the poem. The first rhyme also sounds a little forced as it renders this line grammatically incorrect. You may want to look at this to help the flow of the poem a little.
Overall I enjoyed this poem
keep on writing!!
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: You created a truly believable character in this piece of writing. The emotions he was feeling were palpable and the sense of nostalgia strong, something that I think we can all identify with. I particularly like the ending and how your character accepted that the past was the past and it was time to move forwards. A lesson that i think we could all learn something from!
Technical suggestions:I would have liked just a little more information about Beth to help me picture her. Perhaps just the colour of her eyes when Jesse looks into them or something along those lines.
I enjoyed reading your story.
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish. 
Impression: I felt that this piece had a good storyline. I think that you engaged the reader well and I certainly would like to read on to discover more about the characters of Charlotte,Rosey, and James and also to find out exactlly what happened to charlotte's father.
Technical suggestions: I felt that the dialogue was a little cliched in places. However maybe thats the whole point of a pirate story!! I noticed one typo 'the stay strands' I think that this is meant to say stray.
