The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore if you wish!
Impression: What a great Idea for a poll. I'm really interested to know why other people write. I was also very surprised that my answer was the second most popular so far.
It was really hard to choose between the top two answers!!
The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
In return for the time you spent reviewing my story I thought that I would visit your port. I'm really glad that I did. You have some wonderful stuff in here.
Impression: I love this poem. I'm always very envious of anyone who can write an A-Z poem! I've tried and failed miserably several times. This is a lovely children's poem using all the letters of the alphabet in order. It is full of all the wonderful things of childhood, apples, cookies and teddy bears!!
Suggestion: The only comment I have is that as this is a poem for children I'm not sure how many younger children would understand the word 'nary'.
My favorite part:
Under the covers I snuggle with glee
Vince, my stuffed bear, snuggles close in with me
When I'm fast asleep tucked tight in my bed.
X marks the spot where I lay down my head.
I really enjoyed this one . Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is a poem about mans destruction of the planet through use of fossil fuels.
My favorite part:
'Precious black gold
Sultry her allure of motion'
Suggestions: The last line doesn't maintain the same rhyming pattern as the others. Personally I don't think this matters, but you might find that opinions differ around the site!
Thank you for sharing.
Write On
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore if you wish.
Impression: This is a very powerful poem. The imagery you have used is very powerful and effective.
Suggestions: I think that to be grammatically correct 'Darkness engulf the universe..' should read darkness engulfs. Although I,m not positive so I would double check!! Also an extra full stop (period) seems to have crept in!!!
Thank you for sharing
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I really enjoyed the positivity in this poem. The sentiment that you should 'seize the day' is a good maxim to live by!
Suggestions: You need to capitalize the i in your description ( a typo). Also to be grammatically correct I think you in the first line should read 'you've'
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I think this works really well as a song. I love Lyrics that tell a story and these certainly do. The subject is one that most people can easily relate to as I'm sure most of us at one time or another have sat and wondered why someone we love has left us!
Suggestions: i in the first verse needs to be capitalized. Also I would quite like to see just one more verse, but then I am greedy!!!
Thanks for sharing.
Write On.
Alexors.
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore if you wish.
Impression: This is a poem which describes really well how it feels to be exhausted! The descriptive language that you have used is really effective.
Suggestions: I think with in needs to be one word 'within'. Also the meter stumbles very slightly in the last two lines which caused a tiny 'bump' to my ears when reading.
My favorite part is:
'Thoughts that drift from front to back
Soon all cares will fade to black,'
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors.
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish!!
Impression: This is an easy to read poem looking backwards in time at how things used to be and pondering how quickly things can change.
Suggestions: I noticed a typo, 'errand knight' should read 'errant knight' I think!
You might also consider changing your brief description of the poem. By making the description a little more interesting this may help more people choose to read it.
Thank you for sharing
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore if you wish.
Me reviewing a purple case.....You have to be joking!!!! Gulp.....Here goes.
Impression: I picked this poem at random because the description intrigued me.
I'm really glad I did as for personal reasons this poem had a very strong effect on me. I found the description of the contrast of the music and laughter of the prom and the weak cry of the abandoned baby heart rending. I have a poem in my port
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written from the point of view of someone abandoned as a baby. I found your poem very powerful.
Suggestions: None
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal oppinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: Feelings will out, or so the saying goes. The urgency of the emotion that the protagonist is feeling in this poem is strongly felt by the reader.
My favorite part:
'I cannot wait another second
I cannot leave you behind
I cannot hold onto my emotions
or the tears I try to hide'
Thank you for sharing
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful.They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore if you wish.
Impression: I love the way that you have used the shirt as the metaphor for how the owner of the shirt is feeling. I think this works beautifully
Suggestions:
' It's worn
And masked
With aftershave
That leaves it almost
Fresh.
Almost.' I had to read this part again (probably not concentrating hard enough!!) I felt that 'It is worn' may have helped me to read it more fluently.
Thanks for sharing
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore if you wish.
Impression: This poem exposed one of my greatest fears. That if I allow my true self to show vulnerabilities and all someone I trust would attempt to destroy me. I think we have probably all met someone like the person in this poem from time to time.
Suggestions: none
Thank you for sharing.
Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: I could really relate to this poem. I agree with you that everyone does wear a mask at some time or another in their life and what finer mask than a thick layer of makeup!!!
Suggestions: None
Thanks for sharing
Alexors.
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore them if you wish.
Impression: This is a beautiful poem about the seaside. The imagery used was very good. I felt myself walking along the shore of a small seaside town
Suggestions: I the penultimate line you wrote ' The day returns, but forevermore,' I was a little unsure what the but signified (probably just me being a little thick!!) and felt (personal opinion) that 'and' would work a little better.
Thanks for sharing.Alexors
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The following comments are intended to be helpful. They are only my personal opinion so please choose to ignore if you wish!
Impression: I really like abstract poetry and I think this worked really well. I love the way you have described how painting calms 'his fire'.
Suggestions: I couldn't quite make my mind up about the end as to whether I thought it was completely brilliant or whether I felt like there was something missing!! But perhaps that is the point and thats what makes it brilliant!
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