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Review of Dragons  
Review by Amay
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cool-Susan,

I’m honored to read and review 'Dragons', for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. Our next station is Mythology Bay. Welcome aboard!

Title:Your title fits your poem, but it did make me wonder why Drifting was the first line. A little confusion for me.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: You've used your poem to describe a scene with a dragon. I'm wondering if a stronger verb for your first word would capture the readers attention better. Drifting seems sort of mindless, what about something like ...

Soaring through the sky
Mistaken as a bird from beyond
The red dragon ...


Thumbs up: I like the alliteration you used stalking, scales shimmering, sun...

Conventions: I wouldn't space out a word like drifting, unless you count the spaces. There is a variation in the white space between the letters.

One reviewer suggested having someone read your piece out loud to you cold. You'll catch a lot of errors that way. When you hear them, they stand out more than just using your eyes.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
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*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review of Woman  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi E. C. Manning,

I’m honored to read and review 'Woman' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. Our next station is Mythology Bay. Welcome aboard!

Title:Your title is a perfect fit for your poem.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: You've written a poem that reminds me of the Riddle of the Sphinx. Even though it is brief you've encapsulated a life time. Your poem flows easily. It reads effortlessly.

Thumbs up:

'Old crone in the eve
When darkness sets in,' I guess this is where I am on this time line of a woman's life. lol

Conventions:I didn't notice any errors, and I can't offer any suggestions to make your piece stronger.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
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*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Wenyigo,

Happy WDC Anniversary! I hope you've enjoyed your first year here at WdC.

I’m honored to read and review 'My Dear Old Friend'

Title:Your title works well with your poem.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: Isn't it sad how we lose track of our old friends. I know I've not seen my high school girl friend in almost 23 years. I think of her often, but living in different towns has really come between us. We're both guilty of letting the ball drop.

You've captured that feeling of regret, the missing of something/one was important.

Thumbs up: Your first stanza really called to me. It brought back memories long forgotten.

Conventions:I didn't notice any errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
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204
Review of A word of silence  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Shining Sword,

I’m honored to read and review 'A Word of Silence' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. We've arrived at our next station Mystery City. Welcome aboard!

Welcome to WdC. I do hope you enjoy your time here with us.

Title: When you think about it...a word and then silence, they kind of contradict each other. Pretty cool title.

Description: Thus silence really speaks (This is where you make your first impression. Put your best into your description so that someone will want to open your port and read your poem or story.

Contents:Your poem flows well. There were just a few tense issues I listed below. Anyway, I think you've captured a moment in time. Something special is going to happen, but the reader is left to wonder what? Or perhaps, something has already happened? You've left it open, that way the reader can choose to relate as their own memories dictate.

Thumbs up:'It seems like silence was ruining the peace in me.' That line really spoke to me. Sometimes in silence, your brain goes into overdrive trying to fill the peacefulness of silence.

Conventions:


Make my heart beat Makes

That I feel nervous You could leave 'that' out, it will still read correctly


But it have a word the pronoun 'it' needs has instead of have
It want to say something 'it' needs wants instead of want

But how will i know Capitalize 'i'

There were just a few little issues that you'd probably find rereading your piece out loud to yourself. One reviewer suggested having someone read your piece out loud to you cold. You'll catch a lot of errors that way. When you hear them, they stand out more than just using your eyes.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
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*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi SrKinney,

I’m honored to read and review 'What Could Go Wrong' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. Our next station is History Castle. Welcome aboard!

Title: I think it needs a question mark at the end, but that's subjective. You decide what's best.

Description: Nice description.

Contents:Your piece really reads like a poem, free verse in style.

I absolutely love the use of repetition. You could use italics for the 'What could go wrong?' lines, but it isn't really necessary.

You've captured the anxiousness, the eagerness of your character. I could feel his anxiety building as the piece moved forward. Wonderful read.

Question for you- Do you think you'll add to this piece, or put this character into something with a bigger picture? It seems to stand well alone, I was just wondering if you were contemplating more.

Thumbs up:

Conventions: Go back through, there are several places you've put a period but didn't start the next word with a capital letter.

One reviewer gave me this suggestion, it's a good one so I've been sharing it with everyone. Have someone read your piece out loud to you cold. You'll catch a lot of errors that way. When you hear them, they stand out more than just using your eyes. Fresh eyes can often catch punctuation issues, too.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
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*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review of Words  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Dan Sturn,

I’m honored to read and review 'Words', for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. Our next station is History Castle. Welcome aboard!

Title:I wrote a piece entitled Words once. I'm curious to see what you've done.

Description: Cool description!

Contents: I wonder, should I dare to even hazard a guess? I wonder how many people will read your poem and go 'What a gerund, a preposition? What the heck is this all about?'
BUT, I love it. It is so very true. I remember taking 'modern grammar' in high school, but according to our teacher, none of understood what grammar was. I blame the text books our city used. You had a page of one thing then moved on before you actually had a chance to digest and use it enough to know it. Oh well, it hasn't gotten any better in the last 30 years.


Thumbs up:You've captured a real problem with our society of test givers, and poor test takers. I don't know where this insanity will end, but I hope SOON!

Conventions: How can you improve perfection?


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
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*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi R. J. Moody,

I’m honored to read and review 'The Fading Tales of Heros' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. Our next station is History Castle. Welcome aboard!

And, welcome to WdC! I hope you'll enjoy your time with us!

Title: andDescription: Wonderful title, as a teacher, for years history has taken a back seat in education. It wasn't tested, so we weren't allowed to make time for it. It breaks my heart, because we leave those important lessons untaught because they have to pass a test. (Sigh)

Contents:A tidbit of trivia for you. There is a local man that is a private pilot. He has made it his goal to make sure every local WW2 Vet gets to Washington to see the WW2 Memorial. It brightens my day to see these old vets sharing their memories and remembering the harsh realities of their lives and what they accomplished.

You've written a sweet poem that captures the heart of this reader. You've brought back memories and made me think! That's always a good thing. Keep enlightening the younger generations, they don't know what it took to be a part of that generation. I don't know that they have the gumption to do it again.

Thumbs up: I must say, there wasn't a single line that impressed me more than any other. It's the whole that you've put together that has made the impact.

Conventions:I have no suggestions to make your piece any better, but some advice that I was given may help you one day.

She suggested having someone read your piece out loud to you cold. You'll catch a lot of errors that way. When you hear them, they stand out more than just using your eyes.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi capricornscorn,

I’m honored to read and review'"The Way We Look Overseas", for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. Our next station is History Castle. Welcome aboard!

And welcome to WdC. I hope you enjoy your time with us!

Title: When I first read your title it threw me back in time... My Uncle Jim was born and raised in Tennessee. He'd never seen the ocean, and it was my delight to be with him when he did. I can still hear his voice, 'Now Trina, whatcha' say we pack us a picnic basket and start walkin' around this here pond.' I dearly loved that man.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents:

Thumbs up:

Conventions:Statue of Liberty>> requires capitals.

We keep to ourselves do to fear >>> due to fear (typo)

Your last sentence is so long- I'd suggest breaking it into two...

We keep to ourselves due to fear and our own insecurities. While our over developed egos have us believing that we are better than the rest of humanity.>> just a suggestion, please believe me it won't hurt my feelings if you don't want to change it to this.

One reviewer suggested having someone read your piece out loud to you cold. You'll catch a lot of errors that way. When you hear them, they stand out more than just using your eyes. It's a really good way to smooth and polish up a piece.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
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*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review by Amay
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Fen Fen,

I’m honored to read and review 'The Legend of the Willow' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Folklore Fort. Welcome aboard!

Title:Your title works well with your poem.

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work. Tease them, make them curious.

Contents:Your poem flows very well through the middle. It seems like the last four lines were struggling a lot more than the rest. It seems a bit forced. Some of the tension is lost.

I know when I'm writing poetry, it takes me several days of trial and error to get the whole thing the way I want it. I think it's right when I post, but going back and rereading after a few days I usually have an idea or two that was just out of sight when I sat down the first time.

I think you have the bones, and the structure, it just needs a little finessing.

Thumbs up:

'The Keeper protects the secret here

He knows who and what you fear'


I don't want to meet your Keeper!


Conventions:

One reviewer suggested having someone read your piece out loud to you cold. You'll catch a lot of errors that way. When you hear them, they stand out more than just using your eyes.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review of Man Child  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hi Novelmethod,

I’m honored to read and review 'Man Child', for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Folklore Fort. Welcome aboard! Welcome to WdC!

Title:Brings me back to 'Jungle Book' on first glance.

Description: I get the poem rhymes... playing tennis with a net? Lost here, I'm not sure what that has to do with your poem?

Contents:I've read your poem a couple of times. Pondering its meaning. Contemplating what it's message says to me.
With out doubt, the poem flows well, it's meter builds as you read it. You've chosen very interesting metaphors through out. A truly interesting piece.

Thumbs up:
'Yesterday I was the child
Today I am the man
Yesterday I knew I couldn’t
Today I think I can' What a powerful message to end with.

Conventions: No errors noted.


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review of Why Aren't You  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jyou,

I’m honored to read and review "Why Aren't You", for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Folklore Fort. Welcome aboard!

Title:

Description: Punch up your description. This is where people decided if they even want to bother. Entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents: Interesting point of view, the knight that longs for the lady of the king, perhaps?

Your poem flows with ease. The use of questions moves the piece forward. I can almost hear someone questioning the reasoning of why they are falling in love through your piece.

Thumbs up:I think the repetition and the use of the questions really add to your piece.

Conventions: You've used commas a lot, but I'm wondering if question marks would be more appropriate considering you are asking questions.

I do think the title needs a question mark at the end.

One reviewer suggested having someone read your piece out loud to you cold. You'll catch a lot of errors that way. When you hear them, they stand out more than just using your eyes.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review of A Poet's Poem  
Review by Amay
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi BertieBrite- Seeking Humility,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'A Poet's Poem'

Title: A Very light- hearted title, cute!

Description: When I read your description, I felt like I was in the A-Men Corner. It's definitely a 'uh huh, don't we tho' type of description.

Contents: You've really captured the essence of a poet and an author all in one. I recently found one of my journals that I haven't seen in quite a while. All the beginnings, all of the footnotes as to what the file names and which disk they were located. Your beginning brought that morning of reading and smiling back to mind.
The powers of observation and the capturing of emotion that a poet accomplishes with his/her work is so amazing and beautiful.

Thumbs up:

All life comes clear within my lines,
seeing with my poet's eyes

Conventions:I didn't notice any errors in form or flow.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
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Review of Life As I Know It  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Mike Cheney,

I’m honored to read and review 'Life as I Know It' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Fantasy Bridge. Welcome aboard!

Title:Your title reminds me of the TV shows from long ago, where the celebrities welcomed the TV audience into their homes.

Description: Sometimes mundane is a good thing. There are somethings a mother just doesn't want to know.

Contents:What a cute story. Kudos for your creativity!Your story starts with a brisk pace and never lets up. It is delightful when your main character just plainly gives another life choice like it's no big deal.

Thumbs up:"At that instant, the TV vanished from sight.

“What the . . .” I said, and then turned to look at Emily." lol, I've done that move to get someone's attention!


Conventions:I didn't notice any errors.


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jimmy C.,

I’m honored to read and review 'Fairy Tale Demo Book' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Fantasy Bridge. Welcome aboard!

Title:I was curious as to what your title implied. So I decided to check out what it was.

Description: Punch up your description. You should say that there are links to the fairy tale book.

Contents:I almost feel disappointed. I clicked on both of your links, and wasn't allowed access to the facebook information, and the other link the pages were so small, I couldn't even get a gist of what the story was about.

Thumbs up: The art work I did see was fantastic, but that being said, I have no idea if it works with the story or not.

Conventions: I think you need to make people aware that they will have to ask for permission to look at your facebook pages where the book is located, the other site needs to be bigger.


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review of Fire is Me  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Don Two,

I’m honored to read and review "Fire is Me', for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Fantasy Bridge. Welcome aboard!

Title:Interesting title, it does have a nice ring to it.

Description: Descriptions are one of the hardest things for me to think of. After I've written my story or poem. Its hard to encapsulate the concept in 90 characters. Use your description to entice the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work.

Contents:How cute! What a creative tale that weaves through dragons and Nessie. Oh the tales they could tell! Your poem flows with a gentle lilt. The rhyme and meter wasn't forced in any way shape or form. What a delightful little ditty!

Thumbs up:“We would trip the loch fantastic at night,
bath in the moonlight because it was bright.” It made me smile, thinking about them tripping the loch fantastic... dancing and playing in the waters so deep.

Conventions:I didn't notice any errors.

I can envision this being a children's poem, much like 'Puff, the Magic Dragon.' (I'm dating myself there.)

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review of The Protector  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Jessie,

I’m honored to read and review'The Protector', for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Fantasy Bridge. Welcome aboard!

Title:Intriguing title for a children's fantasy story.

Description: You've enticed the readership of WDC to open and take a peek at your work with your descriptions, which is what a good description is supposed to do.

Contents: What a cute premise for your story. The first part read so smoothly without any effort, but the second part, seemed a little jumpy to me. If that makes sense. I kept thinking this probably should have come first.

I wish you great ideas when you continue Nia's story being the protector of the book.

Thumbs up:

Conventions:I'm not sure why you decided to write your piece sentence by sentence and not in paragraph form, it was a little distracting. Other than that, I didn't notice any errors.


One reviewer suggested to me, and I think its good advice. Have someone read your piece out loud to you cold. You'll catch little things that might not sound just right. When you hear them, they stand out more than just using your eyes.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review of Inked  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Ria,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Inked'

Title: Fits for your poem.

Description: Your description gives a hint of what your poem is going to be about., which is what a description is supposed to do.

Contents: I read your poem with fascination. I've never really understood why anyone would want to go through the pain just for a 'tat'. You've opened my eyes to a line of reasoning I wouldn't have thought of. Thank you for enlightening me this dark and dreary day.

Thumbs up:
"The initial fear now leaving me,
Replacing it is the internal pain, all my frustrations waiting for an escape." It really opened my eyes.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
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Review of The Teacher  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi S. A. B. ,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'The Teacher'

Title: I'm so glad I saw this in your port, I taught for 30 years, and quite a few of my assistants went on to be teachers.

Description: I'm glad you had a wonderful experience in the classroom.

Contents: What an honor. You've encapsulated the joys and the trials that it takes to get to the end of that journey. I dearly loved all of my kids, and still worry about them. lol, I even have a few of them that are old enough to be 'facebook friends. I have to be careful about what I post!

Thumbs up: 'Her students see her youth and all her joy.' That's what good teaching is all about, sharing the joy of learning and hoping it catches on.

Conventions: no errors noted

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene
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Review of The Gift  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi A *Renewed* Faith,

I’m honored to read and review 'The Gift.'
Title: The general title gives the slightest hint as to the importance of the gift.

Description: Thank you for putting your prompt into your description.

Contents: The journey from your sentence prompt to your piece is amazing. You've branched into the world of fantasy and kept the hopes and wonders of what this gift could be through out the whole piece. Absolutely loved the ending! I can see this piece continuing, what tests is this boy going to have to endure. Whose to say this message isn't a test for the girl. Oh holy cow, You've got me hooked and wanting more. What better compliment can an author receive?

Thumbs up: You've captured conflict, a problem, something that needs to be solved, and we don't have a true resolution. Maybe one day you'll come back and read this and ponder adding to your prompt.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

2012 winter scene


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Fuzzy Thoughts  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi Bob Country,

I’m honored to read and review 'Fuzzy Thoughts' for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Detective Depot. Welcome aboard!

Title: 'Fuzzy Thoughts' The first thing that came to mind was the old poem... Fuzzy Wuzzy, and heaven knows I can't claim that it is very early.

Description: Interesting description. Not sure what it has to do with your short piece, but it is different.

Contents: You've created a mystery for the reader to be the detective. A conspiracy, oh my , I wonder what happened? I wonder who Alex Jones is? I wonder what jellyfish have to do with it all? Poor Alex, he has to be assimulated, into what? Poor thing, so sad, but at least he's been wished a nice 'whatever'.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review of Black pelican  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
Hi Aschatria,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Black Pelican'

Title: I love trips to the beach, watching the sea birds. This was a natural draw for me.

Description: Interesting description, it makes me want to sing. I wonder what the tune is?

Contents: When I read this aloud, I kept adding words. It was like something was missing and my mind was filling in the blanks where words were not.

An example--- And so heavy, when land and, remember of her....

The words are lyrical, but the missing element is meaning. I'm having difficulty putting meaning with the words in their current structure. To me, and take what you will of this, if I were you, I'd read this poem now as a new piece. Read it aloud, and see if it still has the same message as you wanted when you wrote it in 2011. Then decided what to do. I think I'd revise and add what's missing, but this piece was from you, so I don't know what premise you were working from, so it's really hard for me to suggest details that may or may not fit.


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of Do you hear me?  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Papillon,

Happy WDC Anniversary!

I’m honored to read and review 'Do You Hear Me?'

Title: I must admit, my first thought reading just the title, nothing else... those cellular phone commercials from years back. 'Can you hear me now?'

Description: Interesting description. We all have so many words that are unspoken. Sometimes, that's a really good thing, especially those snarky thoughts. Then there are those that should be said, but fear keeps us from putting ourselves out there. I guess I should really read your poem before I do anything else.

Contents: How interesting to set up your poem with a little prose. Beautiful concept, with a few verb issues. The poem really speaks to the heart, and it leads the reader into a fantasy world, of writers and romance. It's almost like a love's lost and searching to find it once more.

Thumbs up:

"Can you feel the lingering unspoken words you’ve left behind?
Castles and Knights are not fun anymore without you,
I’ve been running in circles and still…
You’re the first and last thing I see when I close my eyes," Beautifully written, it flows so seamlessly, so effortlessly.

Conventions: Just a few things:

The cold monsoon roar >> monsoons roar, or monsoon roars (It has to do with the subject verb agreement)

the cold wind hit my skin>> cold winds hit, or cold wind hits ..... that same sentence you have 'my skin' twice.

As the cold wind hit my skin; glistening particles of water drops cling on to my skin.>> Suggestiong: The cold wind blows glistening particles of water drops that cling to my skin.

My palms drew closer around the white mug, salvaging for some warmth. >> everything to this point has been present tense, now this sentence is past tense. Suggestion: My palms close around the white mug...

Why these tear drops falling from the sky?>> Why are these...


Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.
Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.
Amay
*Candleb*HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *Candlev*


2012 winter scene


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of The Whobody  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Brenpoet,
I’m honored to read and review 'Whobody' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Comedy Central. Welcome aboard!

Title: Love the title

Description: The description makes me wonder what kind of trouble.

Contents: Four year olds can get into a lot of trouble. Naturally there is always someone else to blame. Whobody seems like the perfect fall guy for me.

I'd love to hear some of Kiernan's stories about Whobody.

Thumbs up: Capture the moment. Time is fleeting and they are youngsters for only so long. In a blink of an eye, he'll be grown and you'll be sharing these stories with his bride.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

won fractile image

*TrainB* A review for "Invalid Item"  *TrainCar2B*
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Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Jakrebs,

I’m honored to read and review 'This is my Title? Help Me, Please!' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Comedy Central. Welcome aboard!

Title: Oh my goodness, what an interesting title. It comes from a place where I have been many times, the I've written this, now what place.
Description: Absolutely can't tell you to punch up your description. You've already done that. It grabs the reader's attention. Hopefully everyone that reads it, has a face.

Contents: Absolutely wonderful! Tongue in cheek humor, self deprecating attitude that all authors feel at some point or another. Delightfully bare of meter, or rhyme a free verse that would turn some poetry lover's ear on end. Wouldn't that be a sight to see?

I have to disagree though, it does flow. It does build with its intensity and desperateness. Oh what a needy one you are.... NOT!

Thumbs up: Thank you for the laughter, and the wondrous poem! I really enjoyed it.

Conventions: For someone thinking they are in such dire need of adoption... I didn't see any conventional errors.

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

won fractile image
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Review of Linericks  
Review by Amay
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hi Deemac,

I’m honored to read and review 'Linericks' , for Around WdC in 80 Reviews. This week’s station is Comedy Central. Welcome aboard!

Title: What drew me in was your twist on Limericks, mainly because I misread it as Limericks.

Description:This is where people decided if they even want to bother. If they like limericks, I'm sure they'll enter to see what's going on, and what a linerick is. Then just maybe, they'll add a line, and come back to see your item more than a couple of times.

Contents: Your directions are clear and concise. Everything seems to be in order there. The lines and the count at the end impressed me, since I don't recall seeing Linericks on the main page.

Thumbs up, from your notes, the little strike out on blame is just so tongue in cheek, just as a limerick should be.

Conventions: I didn't notice any errors in conventions in the directions part of your post.

May the fun continue!

Please remember, I'm just a writer like you, and always take reviews with a grain of salt. You have to decide what is best for your work and follow your heart.

Thank you for sharing your work here on WdC.

Amay

won fractile image

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