A tear rolled down he cheek
'her'
I wish the didn't have to leave.
'they'
She took in a a gasp
only one 'a'
"we aren't going to die soon
'We' capitalized
I thank you! I thank you! I am not sure what lyou meant in the last line of this stanza.
For giving love so true. Maybe is should be 'that I threw on the floor'
A love, that i am not worthy for.
A love,that i stepped on the floor
you have to force youl love to fly Typo: 'youl' should be 'your'
that would love, and'll never break your heart Missing space and letter - 'and I'll' - or maybe you ment:
'and will never'
for you admired me as who i am For me, it should be 'admired me 'for' who I am.
There several small i which should be I (capitalized).
The bellow two lines are confusing to me, but they may be written the way you want them.
stop reading now if that is the case because if not your in you are in for a long one.
started out with a dragonov picking off a few problems from a distance, to now where I down to the wire with your basic pistol that happens to be modified.
I have trouble putting the ideas presented together.
Maybe rearranging the lines would help (me).
(I know you won't like this but this helps me understand
the ideas better.)
I've been thinking for a while,
toggling with the idea of this mentality.
I've wondered and wondered most times,
unbeknownst of the slightest clues
right before my very eyes; I've failed to see.
Burdens chew through to an early grave
of what is and what is not;
real or unreal—a bunch of misconceptions taken lightly
and not properly diagnosed, complete with worries
caught like the cold that stays put
long after all the symptoms have been treated
and have long ago disappeared.
There are some problems with editing. Please note below:
If you used MS Word or another editing program, it would catch most of these problems (and more).
find a 'not' on the fridge
'note'
the ocean that 'lied' before him (the ocean didn't lie.)
'lay'
"It's getting late.... I should probably go back...." he said to himself, in a lifeless tone.
Corrected above - should be all in one line.
'The' twirled her hair in her 'finger',
'Then' 'fingers'
They could peer into 'eachother's' souls just fine.
'each others'
'"Alright!' I 'dont' need to hear about
'"all right!' I 'don't'
"I'm sure there's one thing that your friend 'DIDN't' show you...."
'DIDN'T' (All capitals.)
Soon, fireworks were launching 'intp' the starry night
'into'
They seemed to have been holding 'eachother' for hours on in.
'each other'
I hope this helps.
Write on!
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