not sure how to review this- five stars for sure! All good questions, very thought prevoking! good free verse. and good rhythm. Are you still eating TV dinners? God bless and keep writing!
I liked it! nicely done. the linear effect of the structure is like looking up- it made me feel free without a worry in the world for the lenght of the poem. God bless and keep writing!
This is very discriptive and visual. There is good internal rhyme as well- I think this would work much better if you broke it into stanzas. Just my opinion! God bless and keep writing!
I think this is a very heartfelt and beautiful poem. I believe it would work better for you, because of the rhyme, if you broke it up into eleven couplet stanzas. Or six four line stanza with one couplet on the end- the reason for this is because your rhyme scheme is: A,A- B,B- C,C- D,D-... so and so forth. And when I read it- it becomes repetitive to my ear. If you break it up into stanzas, it gives the reader a slight pause- now it has more of a beat to it rather than one long sound! Does that make sense! I'm just a novice myself, so take this all with a grain of salt. I have a poem in my port which has a very simalar rhyme scheme and I strung it together the way yours is and posted it- someone gave me the same advice I am giving you and I broke the poem up into stanzas- my rating went from four stars to a five star average. I guess he gave me good advice. The poem was called UNREST. Go into my port and take a look- you don't have to r/r the poem, just look to see what I did- You are a good writer and this is a good poem! Please keep them coming. God Bless and Keep writing!!!
I think the rhyme scheme here is good. I like the way it changes in mid poem to a different stanza set up and than goes back again! Good Job! God Bless and keep writing!
WoW. good rhyme scheme- good flow- and good beat. Thought this was a great little poem. Think you could extend it some. Good Job! God Bless and keep writing!
I noticed you fell off your rhyme scheme twice and both times were in the color black- which leads me to believe this was intentional. This is very original and interesting! I give this five stars, and I think the lack of punctuation works here! It does not disturb the flow or beat. I think to punctuate would intrude on the color- I would leave this just the way it is! Content coincides with the color! Bravo! Author! Bravo!
I suppose everyone will have there own interpretation of this wonderful poem- mine is: tell me what I want to hear, enlighten and comfort, truth or no- but what i like about this is it is fun to read again and again! Keep writing! God Bless!
For me your poetry is more about understanding what your writing than form- I see the form and know that is effecting me in some way- maybe understanding that for the reader is immaterial- and if I'm sounding vague, I don't mean to- all I can give you is what i feel and see- I know that I like your poetry- My favorite stanza here is the second to the last- I won't copy it here because I can't stay true to the form- But it reminds me of many wasted nights in my life- nights that seem wasted anyway. Nights that i revisited, dark and empty, over and over again! I guess my point is that this poem has effected me profoundly. And I think that is what poetry is suppose to do! So for that I thank-you! I will quit rammbling now- God Bless and keep writing!
linear poems are hard in my opinion to write- I think you pulled it off very well- Content was very discriptive- the last stanza made me FEEL the cold! God Bless and keep writing!
Wow, again very discriptive and real! Reminds me of New York and Philly. I felt as if I were part of the night again! Great job! Bravo! God Bless and Keep writing!
Intense, powerful free verse- One line sounded funny to my ear: "I cannot bare the light no longer, cast in misguidance." I think its the "No" in the line. Wonderful writing- Bravo! God bless and keep writing!
I like this little poem- it has an interesting beat- the rhyme is good- and i like poems that have a conclusion- good or bad- resolved or not. Good Job. God bless and keep writing!
Interesting poem- the writing is good- feel you need to work on rhythm- line structure- This is just my opinion- good poem, just needs work. God bless and keep writing!
The form is certainly interesting- the writing is good- the form for me is distracting- takes away from the rhythm of poem. God bless and keep writing!
WoW! I really like this poem- good free verse- with a rhyme here and there- very discriptive- this poem put pictures in my mind- looking forward to reading more of your work! God bless and keep writing!
Again- your writing is wonderful- A few things bothered me about this poem though- the word "pyle"- some how this word does not fit the poem, but i could be wrong. And i would break this up into stanzas- maybe five four-line stanzas and a two line stanzas at the end. That might help the word "pyle" flow better as well- This is just my opinion- what I see and hear! You are a wonderful writer and I always look forward to reading your work! God Bless and keep writing!
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