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383 Public Reviews Given
400 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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51
51
Review of Wiener Factory  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
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 Wiener Factory  (18+)
Nightmare Entry--Winner (expanded)
#1634222 by Michael


*Bullet*Overall:
A creepy day at the hot dog factory when things stop working on the line, Boss hogg finds out why, thehard way. Original and creative, but most of al creepy. *Smile*
*Bullet*I particularly liked:
The way that you brought the nightmare into reality. The ransition into the grotesque from the ordinary was smooth.
*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:
I did not notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:
The content was dark, reflective,suspensful and creepy. The prompt was for a Nightmare contest.
*Bullet*Suggestions:Keep writing!
Don't eat hot dogs!
Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.

This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
52
52
Review of Nature's Voices  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Nature's Voices  (E)
I wrote the first line a long time ago and thought of the rest today
#1214483 by Arakun the Twisted Raccoon


*Star*Overall:
A beautiful yet simple poem about the magic of the mountains, trees, and nature.
*Star*I particularly liked:
The personification of the trees loking down on the world beneath them.
*Star*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:
I did not notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Star*Content/ followed a prompt:
The content was reflective, insightful, natural, and enlightning. The prompt was the writer's heart.
*Star*Suggestions:

Thank you for sharing your work with us.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


Chavva,
The Wordgoddess
for WDC MOMs

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53
53
Rated: E | (4.5)

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Dust bunnies and memories


*Star*Overall:
This is a very well written and heart moving piece. I could feel your mother's tears. YOu did a good job showing her pain and confusion.
*Star*I particularly liked:
" Her face crumbled like a heartbroken child. "
"Even with the Alzheimer’s there are moments of lucidity. She looks at the picture of Dad.
Does she remember him returning from World War II, their children’s births, or making love? "

This was very inspiring and poetic. It has inspired me to write a poem...remind me to send you a copy*Smile*

*Star*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:
I didn't notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Star*Content/ followed a prompt:
The content was emotional, reflective, remorseful, sympathetic, inspirational, and honest. The content was the writer's life.
*Star*Suggestions:
I can't think of a thing that would make it any better. Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing your work with us.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


Chavva,
The Wordgoddess
for WDC MOMs

Interested in becoming a MOM? Click the banner and check out what all the noise is about at WDC MOMs.


54
54
In affiliation with WDC MOMs  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)

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This item was posted in the WDC MOMs review Request forum
The introductory creative writing class


*Star*Overall:
An account of A woman who takes a step toward her writing goal by attending a creative writing class. She is disappointed with the instructor and feels somehow discriminated against.

*Star*I particularly liked:

Nice rich details. Good imagery.

*Star*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:

Hyacinth had just twenty minutes before the intro to Creative writing class began.

Why is creative capitalized? If it is the name of the class, then you should capitalize the entire thing.

She picked up a basket feeling a little apprehensive and a touch excited at the same time.
You need a comma after basket.

improvised class room that was part classroom

tore out blank sheets from the book and handed them over, without looking her.

missing the word "at"

Chah Man! Let’s go!’ said Matthew rapping on Linton’s arm with annoyance.

Comma before said

With suddenness, Hyacinth took two steps back towards a wall when a car skidded and almost climbed up on the kerb.

"up on the curb"

Betty’s responses were intermingled with thanking every one for turning up to reminding people what she wanted them to do while struggling to put her arm through the coat.

Comma after "up" and do'

She was at a disadvantage Hyacinth concluded.

Comma after disadvantage.

*Star*Content/ followed a prompt: The content was informational, reflective. The prompt was writing.

*Star*Suggestions:I wanted to know why she wouldn't have gone back to the class to learn something. I didn't feel the character's struggle. perhaps have her face the class and prove herself, that would be more entertaining.

Keep Writing and Sharing!
Thank you for sharing your work with us.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such.
This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


Chavva,
The Wordgoddess
for WDC MOMs

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55
55
Review of A Clown's Tears  
Rated: E | (4.5)

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This item was posted in the WDC MOM Review Request forum
A clown's tears


*Star*Overall:
This is a heart warming and soul wrenching story about a girl, her father, a fire, and a clown.
*Star*I particularly liked:
The realism you captured was very good. I enjoyed the honesty. The emotions felt real, especially the father's. I liked how you compared the smoke to a ghost.
*Star*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:
I have the following corrections:
"The night of the fire the terrifying sound of his child gasping for air woke Auguste up."
You need a comma after "fire".

"Angela, seven years old, has asthma and was wheezing severely."
This is a switch in tenses. Has asthma and was wheezing.
This sentence might sound better something like,

"Angelina was a seven year old asthmatic and was wheezing..."

"Auguste cradled Angela in his arms, trying to remain calm, yet praying in a silent shout." NO comma after calm.

" when she was six months old and was acting maniac."
Did you mean "like" a maniac?


*Star*Content/ followed a prompt: The content was reflective, sincere, emotional, inspirational, captivating. The prompt was the writer's heart.

*Star*Suggestions:
I can tell that you have put a lot into this piece. Your efforts show. You do a good job connecting with the reader and conveying the message. I noticed that you compared the fire to Dante's inferno twice. You might want to change that as editors don't like it.


Thank you for sharing your work with us.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


Chavva,
The Wordgoddess
for WDC MOMs

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56
56
Review of The plot thickens  
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Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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The plot thickens


*Bullet*Overall:A twilight zone style story of a girl who sences someone watching her. You did a good job setting this up. You should work on showing the reader her fear more than telling us. Instead ofsaying that she turned around and screamed, maybe say that a hollow sream rang through the air...or something like that.

*Bullet*I particularly liked:
The plot and setting really worked. I enjoyed the set up.
*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:
I didn't notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:
The content was mysterious, creative andcreepy. The prompt was
FORUM
The Writer's Cramp - Poetry Week  (13+)
Write the best POEM in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!
#333655 by Sophy


Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.

This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
57
57
Review of I'm a Mother  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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I'm a mother

*Star*Overall:A simple rhyming poem about the joys and chores of being amother. I enjoyed the honesty. even through al the mess and work, a simple "I love you" makes it all worth it.
*Star*I particularly liked:The way you ended each staza with I'm a mother.
*Star*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:no mistakes ofthis nature found.
*Star*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was reflective, honest, sincere. The prompt was the writer's mind.
*Star*Suggestions:Check out my group. WDC MOMs. We are alwasys looking for new members like you.
Thank you for sharing your work with us.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.



The wordgodess
If you think it, write it down!

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58
58
Review of Emily's Room  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Congratulations! You have been reviewed by a WDC MOM with a Simply Positive Review!
emily's room

*Star*Overall:A nice story that teachesa lesson. Well written, I enjoyed your style
*Star*I particularly liked:Your descriptive nature. You brought thdragon to life.
*Star*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:No mistakes of thisnature found.
*Star*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was imaginative, creative, juveinile. The prompt was for an unknown contest.
*Star*Suggestions:I wish that it had amore complete ending. I felt like it just stopped in an odd place. I wanted more interaction with the dragon. More detail, but then he was gone. I would love to rea this againif ou decie to expand it.
Thank you for sharing your work with us.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.



The wordgodess
If you think it, write it down!
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59
59
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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Music Makes Me Cry


*Bullet*Overall:A good piece of prose. I enjoyed the honesty you conveyed. The writer connects with the music and with their past.

*Bullet*I particularly liked:
The way you brought a simple piece full circle.
*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:
No mistakes of this nature found.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:
The content was honest, emotional, connective, reflective, inspirational. The prompt was the writer's heart and music.
*Bullet*Suggestions:Keep writing!

Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.

This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
60
60
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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just a touch of spring


*Bullet*Overall:A delicious description of the first signs of Spring. Nice imagery.

*Bullet*I particularly liked:"Colors abound – pink and purple tulips,
red and white azaleas making a scene,
yellow daffodils in the frost-free dawns,
the white blossoms of the Bradford pear;"


*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:I believe that pear should be capitalized after Bradford. In the second to the last line, you break the punctuation pattern by carrying the question to the last line. Maybe the answer should be on a line of its own.

*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:
The ontent was observant, appreciative, natural, reflective,inspiring. The prompt was the writer's heart.
*Bullet*Suggestions:Keep writing!

Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.

This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
61
61
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
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in my mother's arms

*Star*Overall:a powerful poem about life in the depression and the love of a mother.
*Star*I particularly liked:"We ate the chickens much too old to lay,
and I remember corn meal mush every day.
Rabbit stew and some fresh picked corn
was a real special treat on a Sunday morn."
*Star*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:no mistakes found of this nature.
*Star*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was reflective, emotional. The prompt was the writer's life.
*Star*Suggestions:Keep writing
Thank you for sharing your work with us.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.



The wordgodess
If you think it, write it down!
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62
62
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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as a matter of fact, its fun.


*Bullet*Overall:a rhyming poem about bowling and the fun it can be. some good rhymes and imagery in here.

*Bullet*I particularly liked:That you chose to write about a very unusual topic, especially for poetry.

*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:I didn't notice any of these mistakes.

*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was informative, witty, insightful, and fun. The prompt was the writer's heart.}

*Bullet*Suggestions:The rhythm got choppy midway through the first read. You may want to go back and count the syllables for rhythm. Keep writing!

Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.

This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
63
63
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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a world without sight


*Bullet*Overall:This is a phenomenally written poem. True to life and vivid. A spiritual journey through the eyes of a blind man. Very well written.

*Bullet*I particularly liked:"I know my inner home.
Outside is a pure delight.
Mist in my face, smell of fresh mowed grass.
I know birds by warbling or a squawk.
I sense moods of people by their walk." This is great imagery.

*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:No mistakes at all.

*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was insightful, reflective, determined, uplifting. The prompt was the writer's soul.

*Bullet*Suggestions:Keep writing!

Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.

This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
64
64
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Rated: E | (4.5)
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Poetic license in plantation life


*Bullet*Overall:a very impacting poem with a profound message. Beautiful word choices and imagery. Very enjoyable to read.

*Bullet*I particularly liked:"In the tenderness of years,
loveliness sweeps the heartstrings.
Nostalgia and beauty transcend decay." This is so eloquent.

*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:No mistakes of this nature found.

*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was reflective, remorseful, sorrowful, engaging. The prompt was the writer's soul.

*Bullet*Suggestions:Keep writing!

Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.

This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
65
65
Review of Starting Over  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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starting over


*Bullet*Overall:The perfect acrostic. Giving us so many definitions of the acrostic term "starting over" Your word choices were superb! The imagery was real.

*Bullet*I particularly liked:"Seizing opportunities to do better
Trying each day to win small victories
Affecting the path that I travel
Renewing my goals, as I stumble " This was lovely.

*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling: No mistakes of that nature found.

*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was emotional, reflective, hopeful, optimistic, spiritual. The prompt was the writer's heart.

*Bullet*Suggestions:Keep writing!

Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.

This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
66
66
Review of Autumn  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
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Autumn


*Bullet*Overall:A neat form poem. Count up/ count down. I enjoyed the settle yet vivid fall images. You were able to capture the spirit is such few words, yet with completing the form. Nicely done.

*Bullet*I particularly liked:The form you used.

*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:There were no mistakes of this nature found.

*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was natural, reflective, emotional, and sincere. The prompt was the writer;s heart.

*Bullet*Suggestions:Keep writing!

Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.

This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
67
67
Review of Different World  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
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Different World


Thank you for allowing me to review your work that you entered into the Cramp contest this morning. I enjoyed your creativity and imagination.
After reading your story, I found several things that I thought I would point out to help you improve your writing.

*Bullet*1. There are several instances when you switch tenses in the story.

I was surprised, all over a sudden, I find myself in the morning, the buildings have changed, and my friends aren’t there.

Take this sentence for example: You start out in the past, WAS SURPRISED, and then you go into the present, I FIND MYSELF. You cannot change tenses like that. Also, you wrote, "all over the sudden", The correct way to say this is "all of the sudden."

You should have written the sentence something like this: I was surprised to find that the night had turned into day and the all the buildings around me had changed. My friends seemed to have disappeared."

*Bullet*2. In the following passage you change tenses again, and misused the comma. There are several instances of comma misplacement throughout the piece, but here is a specific example:

I stood still and surprised when I saw a man pointing his bow at me. He is aiming. I have to move I thought. The arrow left his bow and went directly, to the neck of the man behind me.

OK, bit by bit...you start in the past. "I stood still" then you switch to the present, "He is aiming" If you STOOD, then he AIMED.
The next part, "I have to move I thought." The actual thought, "I have to move", should be either in quotes or italics, followed by a comma, then the "I thought".

You do not need to place a comma after directly

The passage might work better like this,
I stood still in complete shock at the sight of a man aiming his bow in my direction. I have to move, I thought, just as the arrow was released, making its way into the neck of an unsuspecting man behind me.

*Bullet*3. Your wrote The dogs had really sharp teeth and huge body. After they saw us, they directly attacked us

The way it is written now tells the reader that that the dogs had one body.
You should have said "The enormous dogs attacked at once, bearing their sharp teeth."

*Bullet*4.You wrote: The next thing I knew that I am still in the movie theatre with my friends, watching the movie. I touched my stomach to make sure that I don’t have a scar and that everything was my imagination, but no it wasn’t I was able to feel the scar.

To start with, theater is spelled incorrectly.
Second, take the first part of the passage, "The next thing I knew that I am still in the movie theatre "
You switch tenses again. If you KNEW, then you cannot be STILL in the theater. It would need to read, "the next thing I knew, I was back in the theater"

Then you"Touched your stomach to make sure that I don't have a scar"

You would need to touch your stomach to make sure you DIDN'T have a scar.

In short, I hope that you will find these suggestions helpful in editing your work. watch your tenses and remember that if you start in the past, you need to stay there.

There are several great articles here on WDC about comma usage and misuse that would prove to be helpful to you. Here is my favorite:
To Comma or Not to Comma  [ASR]
That is the question.
by Vivian


Additionally, you might consider taking the basic writing course offered here in the New Horizons writing Academy grammar and writing classes. "Invalid Item" . They are very helpful and starting soon.

I do wish you the best in your writing adventures.

Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
68
68
Review of Impulse Control  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
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Impulse control

*Bullet*Overall:Vampires! what a great idea for this prompt!
*Bullet*I particularly liked:Your rhyme and rhythm were perfect. I loved the imagery and detail.
*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:I did not notice any mistakes of this kind.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:the content was convincing, entertaining, fun. the prompt was for the writer's Cramp: A piece entitled impulse Control.
*Bullet*Suggestions:I wanted to see his fangs start to emerge and him have to control them. That would have been five stars. Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
69
69
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Her love was her downfall

*Bullet*Overall:I liked this poem comparing a wandering girl to a raindrop. Very good imagery and concept.
*Bullet*I particularly liked:"The smooth talking coot seized her thoughts,
words she wouldn't forsake.
Old Man Winter captured this girl
and left her as a flake." This was a good conclusion.
*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:I did not notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was reflective, emotional, and sorrowful.
*Bullet*Suggestions:I felt the rhythm falling apart in the third stanza. This could be brushed up fro a five star piece. Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
70
70
Review of Mama's Play Time  
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Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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I am on a mission to give back reviews to those who have given to me, so here it goes:
Mama's Play Time

*Bullet*Overall:A cute poem about being MOM
*Bullet*I particularly liked:The colors added to the piedes depth. Nice touch. good rhyme and rhythm.
*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:I did not notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:the content was reflective and playful. The prompt was the writer's life.
*Bullet*Suggestions:You should join my group, WDC MOMs. A place just for mothers. we would love to have you join! Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
71
71
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (5.0)
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I am on a mission to give back some of the review to those who have given to me, so here it goes:
Those clouds you see

*Bullet*Overall:A very emotional poem about the loss of a mother. This actually made me tear a little. good job!
*Bullet*I particularly liked:It is hard to let you go
We do not want to say goodbye
But the journey has led to this temporary parting
The promise of eternity lies free
Just beyond those puffy clouds you’d close your eyes to see

*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:I did not notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was reflective, emotional, spiritual, mournful. The prompt was the writer's heart.
*Bullet*Suggestions:Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wrodgoddess
72
72
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Today and evermore

i am on a mission to give back reviews to those who have reviewed me, so here it goes:
*Bullet*Overall:This is a very lovely poem about spending forever with that special someone.
*Bullet*I particularly liked:The simple repetition cradled the rhythm well.
*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:I did not notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was wishful, emotional, and reflective. The prompt was the writer's heart.
*Bullet*Suggestions:i can't think of a thing that would imporve this piece
! Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
73
73
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
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Last meal of the phoenix

*Bullet*Overall:A poem about a hero's battle and fall.
*Bullet*I particularly liked:the repeated verse that changed slightly as the poem went on. It was very propelling.no mistakes
*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:The only thing that I noticed was that you capitalized the word "death" and not the following word. I don't think this was necessary.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:the content was exciting, reflective and remorseful. The prompt was the writer's heart.
*Bullet*Suggestions:Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
74
74
Review of Last Hurt  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Congratulations! You have been reviewed by a WDC MOM with a Simply Positive Review!
Last Hurt

*Star*Overall:A deeply emotional poem about loosing custody of your children.
*Star*I particularly liked:the realism in your tone. The emotions stirred were genuine and you captured the broken spirit well.
*Star*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:I did not notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Star*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was emotional, reflective, desperate, and intense. The prompt was the writer;s life.
*Star*Suggestions:Keep writing and sharing. You should join our new group just for mothers. WDC MOMs is a great place to meet members with similar stories to share. I will be posting a link to this story in our forum to share with the MOMs.
Thank you for sharing your work with us.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.



The wordgodess
If you think it, write it down!
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75
75
Review of The Home Sampler  
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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Congratulations! You have been reviewed by The Wordgoddess with a Simply Positive Review!


The Home Sampler

*Bullet*Overall:a unique poem with a style its own. Comparing bipolar disorder to the stitching the fabric of life.
*Bullet*I particularly liked:the unusual comparisons.
*Bullet*Punctuation, grammar, spelling:I did not notice any mistakes of this nature.
*Bullet*Content/ followed a prompt:The content was reflective and creative. The prompt was the writer's soul.
*Bullet*Suggestions:engage the audience further by adding another stanza showing the inconsistency of the disease. Great job, Keep writing!
Thank you for sharing your work on WDC.
This review is meant as constructive criticism and should be taken as such. This is an individual opinion and not that of a collective effort.


The Wordgoddess
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