Amen to the feelings your express in your poem. It was like a "a child with a gift opening all of its pages delighting in what's found within" when I first was introduced to this site. Your poem sends a happy message of enjoyment in the written word. Hope the enjoyment for you continues with many works of poetry and other writtings.
This was just great, I could just hear the child and the mother having this conversation. I think the fourth version shows the emphasis on the right words as a child would say them and as a parent would answer. Very nicely written I enjoyed reading each verse and each version.
What a lovely tribute to your little sister. I hope when she is older she will see this and appreciate what has been said.
Thank you for reviewing my poem "The Box" it is one of my favorits.
Just delightful, I could feel the love and good times that were shared. I loved the discription of your grandmother in the first two stanzas. The way the food was discribed was mouthwatering and although not
familiar with Southern cooking it sounds delicious.
This is the only stanza that I lost the rhythm of the poem:
"Collard greens and fresh okra
that seemed to melt in your mouth.
Corn on the cob soaking;
with fresh made butter from their cow"
The discription was good, just the rhyming and rhyming off. Still just enjoyed the vision this poem gave me.
For a stort poem, it had a lot of great imagery. I could see the "dirty dive" you were writting about and the people who were visiting. The way it is written almost sounded like I was reading the opening chapter to a Mickey Spilene (sorry if the spelling is off) book. Liked your piece of poetry.
I like story poems and your poem started off great. The first stanza had a good rhythm and told what the story would be about. The idea is really cute but, the rhythm of the poem is not consistant throught the poem. Your fifth stanza the rhytm is thrown off, your lines rhyme, but, they seem a little forced. The reader stumbles a little in trying to pick up the rhythem. I did like the ending, by the time he has told his story so offten, he feels why bother just cut to the chase "I have a new buddy named Glenn."
Every once in a while I like to check into your port. Your poems always touch me in some way. You write in a simple manner, much like myself, no fancy words but an easy "Jack and Jill" type of poetry. This story or tribute to your mother was beautiful. I could feel the love you all had for each other and how much she must have tried and cried while caring for her family. Soomehow she kept you all together and made you all feel save as you mention in your third stanza.
She must have been something special.
Enjoyed the imagery of your winter poem. I've had more than enough of winter where I come from and I too am awaiting for spring to bursts into bloom.
I liked your lines: A chilly gown for winders bride and Sunlight ignites the ivory suede. One critique the last stanza is great, but, I wish it had been four lines like the rest of the poem, it seemed cut short. But I still enjoyed it.
Ah to of my favoirte foods, now if you had mentioned peanutbutter I would marry you. Your opening stanza is rich and delicious, I could just taste it. The reader can just feel the "love" the author has here for the subject matter.
Ah spring when the world wakes up from it's slumber. Lots of great imagery going on in this poem. The rhythm made the reader "feel alive with hope" nice job. Keep working and creating.
I give very few 5 stars but, this poem deserves one. Great piece, very powerful, very well written. Kept my interest the whole time. I could picture this poem in my minds eye. Your closing line was beautifuly done. Enjoyed your work, keep writting.
Shot, sweet, poem, could be used as a childrens poem. I wish there had been more to this poem, I would have liked more of a discription of the fairy or why she was flying away from her fears. So you see I did enjoy it, I just wanted more.
This poem gave me a wonderful chuckle. I loved the look of a "day in the life of a kindergartener" through the childs eyes and how eye opening it really was. I loved that the child sees it as just another day,of being a kid, where as the adults are exhausted and frustrated. The last stanza summed it up perfectly.
I am sitting here on a winter's day having just watched the snow fall for over 5 hours, so I know a little about walking in winter, your poem is right on. I could see your landscape, I could hear the crunching sounds of your boots as they walk over the snow and I could see you hurrying home out of the dark and cold to the warmth of home. Nice easy style to your poem and it tells a story that is easy and clear to the reader.
Nice tribute to the loves of long ago. Easy simple poem, a little heavy on some of the rhyming, I'm not sure about "Your dancing hair Your nature's rare,
Held me along Like a very sweet song," this stanza seemed like you were stretching for the "rhyming" words. On the other hand, I did like your first stanza, that was nice.
What a unique way to begin a poem, thought it was headed in another direction. I enjoyed the way you took me through the stages of your son's life and then your grandaughter's arrival. The cycle just continues.and I really liked how you ended your poem that a simple unasuming day like Tuesday can be so life alterning.
The poem did get a littly sing-song for me, but, it was still cute. Your last stanza dropped the four line rhyme that the others had. I liked your idea of sitting in a cafe and letting your imagination play, that just sounds so delightful.
Poetry is something either you like to read, write or both or you hate it. To put your work out there for others to view and critique is very hard and very brave. Your first two stanzas are not too bad. As I read the other stanzas your rhythm gets choppy and the fourth stanza doesn't seem to rhyme at all. Many of us are just novices, trying to entertain and enjoy a hobby. Keep writing and keep having fun with your work.
I've enjoyed Greek and Roman mythogy since the fifth grade so I enjoyed looking over this piece. I liked how you used the personalities of each of the goddesses to discribe how you feel. Nice.
I think your fourth stanza is out of rhythm with the others, it seems longer and when read outloud the rhythm falters at this point. Keep writing for all us
"godesses"
I liked the easy feeling of the poem. The rhythm is quick and darts you from one place to another. I think you may have spelled Brazil incorrectly. I liked stanzas one and two. Stanzas three and four seemed a little off. But then I liked the way you ended your poem, ready to settle down, yet fully fufilled with your lifes travel and trials.
I love Unicorns, and I love what they stand for "purity and honor. I like some of the imagery you use in your poem to discribe the nobility of the Unicorn. But,I am not sure I am grasping the meaning of this poem. The first stanza is telling me about the unicorn, but I am lost in your second stanza and I am really lost by the end of the poem.
Once again a nice tribute piece of poety to a subject you hold quiet dear. The subject matter is fine, this poem seems just a little more forced in your use of words, seems more like you were searching for rhyming words as opposed to the "meat" of the poem. I do enjoy your poems, at least the two I've read as they have an uplifting quality to them.
I own a cat, but, I really am a dog lover at heart. Had to read your poem and I enjoyed it very much. I like how you compared her traits to that of a human and somehow we are left behind when it comes to the "good things". Your poem starts out as rhyming then around the sixth line you drop it, you pick it up in the 8th. The last stanza is ok, but not as strong as you opening lines. All in all a nice read.
Writers Block don't ya just love it. A blank piece of paper never looked so frightening. I liked your first four lines, they drew me into the poem. Third line from the bottom did you mean "puts" down the pen? Sometimes getting away from the "blank" paper as you mention in your last line can free the block we all face.
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