DISCLAIMER: This comes to you as a reader would see your work. I have only my opinion to
> offer. Sometimes I might find a bit of your work I thought that I might express feelings
> about. If it struck a chord etc. If there should be such an entry under 'EMOTIONAL
> CHORD STRUCK' that is just my feelings and not meant to hurt or take liberty with the
> author's work.
>
>
> TITLE: Yes, this is a suitable title to this lovely Psalm!
>
> IMAGERY: Your descriptions of God's love, care guidance is inspiring.
> EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK: I am moved with joy and hope as I meditate on God's work in us and through us in this psalm.
>
> TONE: Uplifting, a song of praise.
> SPELLING ERRORS: None noted.
>
> FLOW: Sounds good to this reader's ear.
>
> OVERALL: I appreciated finding this Psalm, and resonate with your thoughts... have you set it to a melody?
Zeke,
This poem has a cadence which could lend it self to a ballad.
My husband ( of 30 years TODAY) and I went to a renaissance faire years ago where Molly and the Tinker sang ballads. This piece reminds me of those songs.
The imagery is over-the-top descriptive.
I enjoyed this poem, thank you for alerting me to it.
Write On!
Deb
Title: This hooked me, and was suitable to the poem. Personal Impression: I enjoyed reading this poem, imagery of various maps and their reliability pricked memories of family travels in the old station wagon with a Road Atlas at hand to tell me "how far are we?" and "are we there yet?" Tone & Mood: I sense wonder, awe at the vastness of this inconsistent map and the amazing contents of it. Rhyme, Form & Flow: The rhyme was consistent, abcb, with an occasional near rhyme. However, here and there the irregular syllable count led to a choppy reading which interfered with the flow, in my opinion. Emotional Impact: I liked this poem, and am glad to have found it. Grammar/Punctuation: No suggestions.
Well said. I have been guilty of giving reviews in the hope of a review in return. In fact, I sometimes have chosen Not to review a work when I see the author has given 0 public reviews.
Shallow? Yes, I admit it. Yet it is honest to say out loud, "I want feedback on my work."
So back to your piece, I hear you and appreciate this post and the final comment: Don't be a user.
I will take those words to heart and do unto others as I would have them do unto me, and more.
Wishing you a Happy Account Anniversary
This little review is to encourage you to keep that promise to yourself: do it!
I once used The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and write three pages a day of stream of consciousness writing... it stirred up the creative well.
Back to your letter to self: I am moved by the sincere desire to express in writing and regain the easy flow of ideas. I hope the past two years have seen periods of creative juices flowing.
If not, it is a fine time to start again...
so, please,
Write on!
Deb
Personal Impression: It is a treat to read about the endless source of inspiration that rambles in your brain. Tone & Mood: tongue-in-cheek the muse is torment, and not. Rhyme, Form & Flow: Great rhyme, flowing. Emotional Impact: I like this poem, thank you for sharing it. Grammar/Punctuation: No errors noted.
Personal Impression:Well that was a surprise! Well done twist in the end. Tone & Mood: I read this with my "caution button" on, as I wondered where it was going... can't put finger on a description for tone & mood. Is justice a mood? Rhyme, Form & Flow: This little piece flowed right along to the moral in the end. Emotional Impact: I am not sure how I feel after reading this. It made its point, and I quite agree: why do people not understand common courtesy? Grammar/Punctuation: No errors noted.
Personal Impression: Having fought with depression I resonate with this poem, thank you for sharing it. Tone & Mood: Though depression depletes one, love, support, faith restores hope. Rhyme, Form & Flow: free from poem, it flowed well. Emotional Impact: I am grateful to read this poem, it is encouraging. Grammar/Punctuation: No errors noted.
I found your port through account anniversaries.
Happy Account Anniversary!
Thank you for sharing this brief account of graduation celebration on the eve of the future!
Well written, your imagery conjures a compelling scene and reminds me of the brief moment of exhilaration at the completion of a phase of life. It is followed so quickly by the unknown of future.
Personal Impression: I hear you! Tone & Mood: melancholy, monotone, yet I hear the whispered scream of frustration. Rhyme, Form & Flow: This free form poem flows well to the reader's ear. Emotional Impact: I note that this poem was posted in 2003 and edited more than a decade later... hints to the truth that we sometimes are stuck in that rut, the needle playing the same tune... Take heart! Grammar/Punctuation: No errors noted.
Write On!
Deb
Wishing you a month of Anniversary reviews, and a lengthy visit with your muse!
Personal Impression: A gentle poem. Tone & Mood: The friendly introduction to the bear sets the tone for a brief visit with the subject, her bear, and another resident. Tender mood. Rhyme, Form & Flow: Free verse, no rhyme scheme noted. This poem flowed like a little monologue. Emotional Impact: I feel sad, poignant as I read this, and hopeful for the comfort the bear brings to the narrator. Grammar/Punctuation: No errors noted.
Personal Impression: I am deeply moved as I read of the yearning to see freely, not shrouded. Tone & Mood: I hear fierceness, strength in this piece, and hope for a future of freedom to see and be who the writer is. Rhyme, Form & Flow: Not Applicable. Emotional Impact: I am touched, saddened for the restrictions which seem without reason. And hopeful for a different future. Grammar/Punctuation: No errors noted.
Personal Impression: I learned more about the life a musician endures for the passion they want to share with the world. Tone & Mood: Brusque, a call to hear about their situation. Rhyme, Form & Flow: Not applicable. Emotional Impact: I am more aware now of their struggles, and feel a mix of respect and sadness.
{e:Vignette5
{e:Vignette6}Write On!
Deb
Happy Account Anniversary!
Personal Impression: This hopeful, sweet poem brightened my day. Tone & Mood: Somber, initially, the poem grew and blossomed as the cosmos, transforming the mood to one of hope. Rhyme, Form & Flow: The irregular length of the lines interfered with a smooth read, yet, the rhyme is fine. Emotional Impact: Pleasant and hopeful, I am moved by the age-old message to change the place where we are planted for the better. Be the change I want. Grammar/Punctuation: No errors noted.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings here.
I feel the sorrow for the rift between brothers, and I hear the longing for relief from the "what ifs".
I hope the poet has found some relief for the loss of closeness during the earlier years, though, I know first hand the loss of a loved one is never resolved. Life simply goes on, and we carry the memories.
I have no suggestions for this poem. Thank you again for sharing it here.
Deb
Thank you for sharing a melancholy, bitter-sweet reflection on love.
It hits the spot and is gently moving to the reader.
I have only one question, or suggestion: Stanza two, line one 'morn? I am not familiar with the word presented that way.
Have I missed something, or is it a small error?
Thank you for sharing a portrait of your muse, I appreciate the rhyme abab pattern, and can relate to the desire to be with your muse and seen "the secret softness" of the muse.
Thank you for sharing this moving poem.
You have captured a mother's love as well as the feelings of deep appreciation I, too, have for those who serve to protect our land.
Thank you, I pray you get to hold his hand today, if not, I hope you have those little rocks nearby to handle as he touches your heart once again...
DISCLAIMER: This comes to you as a reader would see your work. I have only my opinion to
> offer. Sometimes I might find a bit of your work I thought that I might express feelings
> about. If it struck a chord etc. If there should be such an entry under 'EMOTIONAL
> CHORD STRUCK' that is just my feelings and not meant to hurt or take liberty with the
> author's work.
>
>
> TITLE: Suitable, and leading
>
> IMAGERY: Sparely evoked, I see the red marks on each paper.
> EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK: I feel frustration for the teacher, and dismay for the students as they have obviously not hit the mark for the assignment.
>
> TONE: Straight-forward, maybe tongue-in-cheek, the poet has spelled out the situation clearly.
> SPELLING ERRORS: None noted.
>
> FLOW: Smooth
>
> OVERALL: I relate well to this little poem, and am happy to have been introduced to William Carlos Williams poetry through your brief description.
Write On!
Deb
BigOosh,
Thank you for sharing this bit of conversation. I was caught off-guard by the ending. Well done!
Two minor suggestions I would make: I think for consistency you want to capitalize "A" in "allowing the anger... and "R" in "responding to the competition..."
Also "If all your" (should be you're).
Otherwise, thank you for sharing this piece.
Write On!
You have expressed feelings, thoughts I have experienced.
No suggestions for improving this little essay. It has hit the mark, and I would love to be in a writer's circle with you, to experience writing and sharing, reading and giving feedback.
So, we come here, and like the typed words rather than long-hand script, we experience the presence of writers through type/electronically.
I am grateful for this opportunity, even as I long for in person, old-fashioned experience.
A tool I have used in the past comes from Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way... write 3 pages long-hand every morning, not to read or edit or "make" something out of, simply to prime the creative well, and lure the muse to visit with us. It is a way to strengthen that connection with the pen/pencil and paper, the tangible sensory connection which I think I miss when I only "write" on the computer.
Just a thought I wanted to share.
Thank you for sharing this piece.
I appreciated reading it, and your review of my piece earlier today. I sense a similar drive to touch others with our words.
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This comes to you as a reader would see your work. I have only my opinion to
TITLE: Yes, this is a suitable title to this lovely Psalm!
IMAGERY: Your descriptions of God's love, care guidance is inspiring.
EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK: I am moved with joy and hope as I meditate on God's work in us and through us in this psalm.
TONE: Uplifting, a song of praise.
SPELLING ERRORS: None noted.
FLOW: Sounds good to this reader's ear.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
Title: This hooked me, and was suitable to the poem.
Personal Impression: I enjoyed reading this poem, imagery of various maps and their reliability pricked memories of family travels in the old station wagon with a Road Atlas at hand to tell me "how far are we?" and "are we there yet?"
Tone & Mood: I sense wonder, awe at the vastness of this inconsistent map and the amazing contents of it.
Rhyme, Form & Flow: The rhyme was consistent, abcb, with an occasional near rhyme. However, here and there the irregular syllable count led to a choppy reading which interfered with the flow, in my opinion.
Emotional Impact: I liked this poem, and am glad to have found it.
Write On!![An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews](https://www.writing.com/main/images/action/display/ver/1349548258/item_id/1893181.jpg "Anniversary Reviews Image2 [#1893181]
An image donated by [Link To User legerdemain] for use with Anniversary Reviews")
TITLE: Suitable, and leading
IMAGERY: Sparely evoked, I see the red marks on each paper.
EMOTIONAL CHORD STRUCK: I feel frustration for the teacher, and dismay for the students as they have obviously not hit the mark for the assignment.
FLOW: Smooth