Hello LdyPhoenix
I am here to give you three reviews as part of the cNote number 2 package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by an anonymous member.
Your item is delicously dark and sensual. Good, strong word selections have been used and this encourages the dominance and power within the item.
The female character is sultry and it is easy to see why 'He' yearns to take her. Her actions enforce her as bait to the hungry appetitie of the man stalking her, getting ready to take her at will.
Great imagery has been provided. The atmosphere is dark and mysterious and you build up a good amount of anticipation as the reader waits to see what unfolds.
There are no visible errors but I do feel your item would be enhanced if you added some commas into the mix. Many of the lines have been left midway and the use of a comma would tidy this up.
Please keep in mind that all comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Well done and write on.
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Hello ShellySunshine
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'EBB Love package'. I am here to give you review number three from 5 you will receive from me.
This Poem reads like a song. It has an upbeat tune and rhythm mingled with a fast momentum that remains consistent from the beginning to the end.
Your item is displaying partial rhyme and although I am not usually a major fan of this type of rhyme, I feel it fits well within this particular item and I would not suggest changing it.
There are no visible errors and I have no suggestions for improvement.
Well done and write on.
Hello Nadene
I am here to give you the last review you will receive as part of your cNote package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by Mara ♣ McBain
This is a very pretty item. Flamboyant imagery has been used with the incorporation of strong, descriptive words. It is almost effortless for the reader to grasp a fantastic visual of this item.
Your Poem has a tremendous amount of depth but if the reader chooses to look closely they will find that there is an even deeper message which lingers just below the surface. As this is going onto the public review page I will not include my interpretation because I do not want to spoil it for others.
There are no visible errors in your item and I have no suggestions for improvement.
It was a pleasure to review you. Well done and write on.
Hello Nadene
I am here to give you review number two of three that you are to receive as part of the cNote number 5 package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by Mara ♣ McBain
I like this Poem because it speaks of a journey. It is much like reading a timeline.
The beginning of your Poem is centered on being swayed from decisions and you have used natural elements to display this to the reader. The 'wind' is trying to swerve you from your natural course.
The second half of the Poem touches upon isolation, being left alone with your own thoughts in the dampness of the dark cave. You explain to the reader that the wind is beating down upon the cave trying to reach you once more. I interpreted this as influence. You will have to let me know if I am right.
The finale of your Poem touches upon inspirational notions. There is a clarity as you merge into the light of day. During your time in the cave you have become better equipped to deal with the wind and all of the chaos it whips around you.
Your item came full circle and I liked that. From the beginning you present the reader with a problem. This problem escalates until the reader is manipulated into thinking there is no solution but you swiftly change direction and as such the problem becomes manageable. Your Poem reads like a story!
It had a quick momentum from the very beginning to the finale and you peaked your item at all the right times.
There are no visible errors and no suggestions for improvement are required.
Hello Nadene
I am here to give you 3 reviews as part of the cNote number 5 package from:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1519364 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by Mara ♣ McBain
This is an interesting Poem. It is very different from items I usually review so all of my comments will be based upon my personal opinion only.
I like that you have managed to incorporate a fair amount of imagery into such a small Poem. The tone of narration seemd dreamy perhaps even whimsical may be a better description. This tone lulls the reader into a sense of relaxation and tranquility.
My favorite part of your Poem is :
The sun becomes an orange pastille
and I take that same journey home.
But that man is wearing make-up!
I was able to conjure a great visual from this verse.
There are no visible errors in your item but I do suggest you incorporate the correct punctuation to help with the stability of the flow.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 to receive the 'Poe package'. I am here to give you the last of five reviews that you are to receive from me.
This Poem is so elaborate in information that it reads more like a story. A story of a boy who knows that he is somehow different and would like to know his father. The actions of the mother are fantastic in sustaining mystery as to the identity of the father. Her frightful reactions at the boy's questions prepare the reader that the revelation is going to be shocking. You do this without giving too much away. There is a perfect blance.
The rhyme is superb and does not skip a beat. It all fits nice and snug and at no point are there any pauses or hitches along the way. I am pleased to see this item has been awarded and received the recognition it deserves.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement are not needed.
It was a pleasure to review you.
Well done and write on.
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Poe package'. I am here to give you review number 4 of five that you will receive from me as part of this package.
This Poem is yet another dark delight to come from this folder. I am very happy I was directed to your port to read your little shadowed treasures.
You seem to have an amazing ability to manipulate your reader into believing they are infact playing witness to the happenings in your items. This item is no exception. I was able to grasp a visual image of your content without effort. This is largely attributed to the effort you place into the imagery aspects of your items.
The tone in this Poem is very devious but also magnetic. It calls to the reader inviting them to become apart of the item. It is very sinister but not overtly evil as such. I am amazed by the level of your imagination. It takes someone with a great amount of creativity to take a Poem which is based on Winter and turn it into something elaborate and provoking as you have so clearly done.
There are some areas I would look over once more for improvement.
Line 1- bows should read as blows.
Line 2- Insert a comma after branches.
Line 6- Insert a comma after beat.
Line 8- Remove (...) and replace with a period to end the line.
Line 11- Remove (...) and allow the line to continue on naturally.
Line 15- Edit danced to dances to keep in conjunction with your tenses.
Line 21- Remove (...) and replace with 'and' then allow the line to continue on.
Line 23- breaths should read as breathes.
Line 24- Remove (...) and replace with a comma.
Line 26- Replace momentary with something fresh to avoid repetition. This word is used in the previous line.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard what you deem is helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into the Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 to receive the 'Poe Package'. I am here to give you review number three of five you are to receive from me as part of this package.
I love the obsessional tones weaved through this Poem. The last line is fantastic because it enforces these very qualities.
You were given a very small amount of room to work with and in light of this fact I believe you rose to the occassion nicely. You have delivered a story to the reader which has been brought to animation with the incorporation of detailed imagery.
However, I do feel there is still some room for improvement in certain areas.
The (a) at the beginning of line 4 requires capitalization.
Lines 7 and 8 also require some further focus placed upon the punctuation aspects.
All comments and suggestions are offered in the spirit of helping you. Please feel free to take onboard anything you deem to be helpful and discard the rest at will.
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 to receive the Poe Package. I am here to give you review number two from five that you will receive from me as part of this package.
The imagery in this Poem is breathtaking. Through the use of good, strong descriptive words you took me not only into the dark world in which your item is situated but also the dark and melancholy thoughts of the character.
Your Poem reminds me of 'The Violin' written by Anne Rice. If you have not read it then I urge you to do so because you will be amazed to see just how closely related the tones of your item and that novel are.
Your item is haunting yet seductive because although the portrait you paint is not of a positive theme, it is of a magnetic nature which pulls the reader into its delicious depths. It reminded me of reaching a gruesome part of a movie and wanting to look away yet not being able to force yourself to do so. Absolutely stunning!
There are no visible errors in your item and certainly no suggestions for improvement are needed.
Your item is fantastic and a must read for all writers. I will be adding this to my favorites!
Hello 🌕 HuntersMoon
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Poe package'. I am here to give you the first of five reviews you will receive as part of this package.
First thing is first, as a dark writer myself, I was totally and helplessly drawn to this item. *bigmile*
Your Poem is of A class quality and I cannot think of anyone who would not like this is as much as I do.
The rhyme is outstanding and consistent through out the entire duration of your item. At no point did it feel forced or merely used to keep the pattern united. The twists and turns of the rhyme were like walking up and down stairs, up and down, up and down...This was amazing!
Your content is deliciously dark and creative, and I found this very appealing. The item was not what I would consider dark 'horror' but more of a bleak nature. The dark images you conjured within the item were ejected onto the viewer with ease and I could not help but to be completely enthralled.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement are not required.
The quality of your item speaks for itself.
This is a great item. You were given a theme (ten for ten) and you have ultimately delivered what required of you, to participate in this contest.
Each individual line clearly sticks to the main theme of that section. You provide good descriptions for each prompt and the reader is given something to concentrate on and enjoy.
Tip- The end of the first line requires a question mark (?) because you are asking a question.
Again there is no punctuation in your item but I feel the content still pulls this over the finish line. However I do feel the need to offer you some friendly adivce and this is to punctuate your items when entering a contest. Although you may prefer to be a free form Poet, judges are always looking for A class quality items to take the winning places. Incorporating it specifically for this purpose will increase your chances of a winning place.
There are no visible errors and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
You were nominated by ShiShad for the EBB Love package. I am here to review you as part of this package.
This is a very dreamy Poem which has been made attractive by the incorporation of pretty imagery and wordplay. Minus the lack of correct punctuation, I enjoyed all areas of this Poem. It is strong in visualization, consistent in theme and you send a crystal clear message to your reader.
I will quickly go through a line by line with you of areas I feel require editing to strengthen the piece.
Line 3- Insert a comma after the final word.
Line 4- Remove the (...) and replace it with a period.
Line 5- Remove the comma at the end of the line.
Line 6- Insert a comma at the end of the line.
Line 8- Add a period to the end of the line.
Line 9- Add a comma at the end of the line.
Line 10- Comma at the end of this line.
Line 14- Add a comma at the end of the line.
Line 15- Insert a space after the comma which is already featured.
Line 16- Add a period to the end of the line.
Line 18- Remove (...) an replace it with a comma.
Line 21- Same suggestion as above.
Line 23- Add a period to the end of this line.
Line 25- Add a period to the end of the line.
Line 26- Capitalize the beginning letter of the first word.
Line 30- Remove (...) and replace with a comma.
I hope you find my review helpful.
Best of luck and write on.
Hello Richard Briley Jr
I am stopping by to give you a review today.
This is a very interesting Poem which encourages your reviewers to adjust their mature perspectives to an outlook which is light and fun. You force the seriousness out to replace it with a playful mood. This was a breath of fresh air to read and I love that the content is so fresh and unlike anything I have ever read before.
You have incorporated a good amount of imagery into your Poem as you lead us through each different scene. The rhyme in your item begins strong but as I delved deeper into the item, the quality of the rhyme begins to slip as the pattern is lost. The first stanza consists of the rhyme being visible in the 2nd and 4th line. Continue on to stanza 2 and there is no rhyme at all. 'attorney' and 'true' do not rhyme. Third stanza comes about and the rhyme is found on lines 1,2 and 4. This is distracting and confusing and requires editing.
My only suggestion for this item is to focus on the pattern and quality of your rhyme. I feel above all, this aspect of your item is important because it is the rhyme which invokes the fun and playful quality of your item. Once the pattern has been adjusted and the rhyme is infused with some strength, this item will soar.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
Hello BESSAMAE
I am stopping by to give you a review.
You are displaying a talent for rhyme in this Poem which is centered on Mental Illness. Your rhyme is all direct and consistent and does not falter once through the entire duration of the item.
I like the display of the Poem. You have chosen to present this item by using a normal standard font and text and the spacing makes it even easier for the viewer to read and understand your item.
There is a show of some punctuation issues in this piece. The beginning stanza has been punctuated correctly but as the item continues on, this quality seems to lessen and many areas are skipped, some in their entirety. My only suggestion is to divert some extra attention and focus onto this aspect of your Poem.
There are no visible errors in your item and suggestions for improvement have been made.
Well done and write on.
Hello GabriellaR45
I am here to give you the first of three reviews you will receive from me as part of your cNote package at:
Invalid Item This item number is not valid. #1527427 by Not Available.
This package was purchased and gifted to you by MDuci
I love this item! The imagery incorporated into your Poem is vivid and guides the reader comfortably through the item. You bring the outdoors to life in this Poem and hand these colorful images to the reader for their entertainment.
Being Australian, I very easily forget that February is Winter in other destinations. February is heatwave season for Australia and the cool and invigorating images you gave to me through your item were welcomed and much needed at this time. I almost cooled off!
Outstanding, descriptive wordplay only serves to enhance the beautiful winter portrait you have created. This is a must read for all reviewers and should be used as a template for beginners when in need of imagery guidance.
There are no visible errors in your item and no suggestions for improvement are required.
Well done and write on.
Oh, I almost forgot- Your item is still displaying the Preferred Authors signature. Time to switch from yellow to blue, you have upgraded baby doll!
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is my last review for your package.
Your Poem features some of the most impressive wordplay I have seen used in this genre.
There are soft, feminine tones in your item and they reach out to draw the reader into the depths of its warm glow. You use great examples to express your message of what this person means to you and how they make you feel. I enjoyed reading this. It is a job well done!
There are no visible errors. Congrats on the publication!
It was a pleasure to review you.
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This review number four.
Your Poem is centered on an act which is forbidden and unforgivable. The content is sad to read and this sadness is enhanced when one realizes that what you have written is true. Society does infact decree it.
The pain, turmoil and anguish weaved through this Poem is heartbreaking. The most precious bond of all has been severed in this Poem-Trust.
This is an emotional write centered on a dark subject, but you have written it with elegance.
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is review number three.
This is a lovely tribute for a wonderful person. The notion to write something so kind displays the sincerity of your friendship and just how much Katherine means to you. Your entire Poem radiates friendship, love, gratitude and above all respect and a profound connection. I think it is beautiful and I am sure Katherine would have been thrilled to read it.
I loved the description you incorporated at the end, defining to others what Golden Wattle is. I am Australian so I already knew but the moment I began reading and came to the first mention of Wattle, I did wonder just how many others would have heard of it.
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is review number two.
This is a small Poem but it is full of meaning. Good, strong word selections have given your Poem a high quality which is impressive. You follow the format perfectly and I think it's great that you have included a link to show the mechanics of how this form works, for people who do not know it. It increases your audience in which can receive it and educates people who are new to the world of Poetry
There are no visible errors and no need for suggestions for improvement.
Well done!
Hello kiyasama
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is the first of five reviews you will receive from me.
I like the story within the Poem. Your Poem told a tale, had a moral and if it were not for the rhyme this would have easily been mistaken for a short or flash.
I love the couplet format. I find when using it, that it is easier to find the correct rhyme to put in place. From a reviewing point of view I like this format because it makes the item easier to read and the neatness of the couplets looks great in the presentation.
The ending was the highlight for me. I liked that your Poem began and ended using the same couplet. It felt as though the item came full circle and I thought it was a perfect finale.
There are no visible errors in your item and I have no suggestion for improvement.
Well done and write on.
Hello Adriana Noir
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by kiyasama for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is review number four.
This is a fabulous depiction of a woman trapped in a car wreck. You give the reader so much information to indulge in that it left my head spinning. You make the reader aware of what is happening around the main character but you do not stop there. You go that extra mile to allow us into her thoughts. We see everything through her eyes but from two different perspectives. One, inside the car when she is trapped and the second when her spirit comes to watch over her rescuers attempts to save her life.
The incoproration of small details is the key to any successful story. You were very thorough and did not leave anything at all out. Your ability to delve deep into the heart of your stories is mesmerising to witness. I am in complete awe at your talent.
Well done. I am pleased to see this has been awarded.
Write on.
Hello GabriellaR45
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 for the 'Hemingway Package'. This is review number two of five you will receive from me.
This is a vivid picture of isolation and abandonment. The silence in the Poem is deafening.
Yur descriptions are vivid and I was effortlessly able to see the papers scattered in the driveway, the car keys on the ground, etc etc...You have provided the reader with very clear images of where you have taken us when we enter into the world of your Poem.
The end was something I did not predict. You present us with a meek source of life in an atmosphere we were led to believe was devoid. It was a fantastic twist and it presented the reader with an entirely different take on your Poem.
Hello warriormom
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 and jimmyfin for the 'Poe Package'. This is the final review of your package.
I love the twisting and turning of the emotions in this item. Reading this was like being on a rollercoaster which is perfect for the theme of your Poem. You go into great detail in this item and at all times the reader is made aware of every aspect of your Poem. Everything is smooth flowing and does not feel forced at any time. You did a stunning job!
There are no visible errors in your item and no need for suggestions for improvement.
It is perfect as is.
Hello warriormom
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Authors Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 and jimmyfin for the 'Poe Package'. I am here to review you as part of this package. This is review number four.
This Poem has soft tones and natural rhythm. The green font works a treat and helps to enforce the natural theme of this Poem. It has strong spirituality and in general this is a feel good Poem which leaves the reader with a sense of peace after reading it.
My one suggestion is to add some much needed imagery. You tell us about the fragrance of the pine, the scent of the flowers and the sound of the brook but more detail is needed. What does the brook sound like? Are you able to make a comparison so we acn hear what you do? Is the sent of the flowers pungent and like a floral bouquet? What shade of green are the pines?...
All of these small but important details will help to draw the reader into the depths of your Poem. It will help to ensure your Poem is memorable and stays with the reader.
There are no visible errors in your Poem and suggestions have been made.
Hello warriormom
Congratulations on your nomination into The Ink Blot Author Fan Club. You were nominated by stacylynn71 and jimmyfin to receive the 'Poe Package'. As part of this package you will receive 5 reviews from me. This your third.
This Poem is short and direct and paints an inspring scene of becoming one with yourself once again.
The item consists of only four lines but you have made good word selections to ensure you get your message across loud and clear.
The image included on the page goes perfectly with the scene of the item. It ensures the reader receives a good, strong visual whilst reading.
There are no visible errors and no need for suggestions for improvement.
Well done and write on.
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