I can certainly identify with this. I've already raised my children and now they have children of their own.
My two youngest grandchildren have been spending a lot of time with me recently. I was thinking the other day about I use to get down in the floor and play with my children. Somehow, I just haven't bee able to do this with Noah and Kellie. Then 7 year old Noah asked me to start back having the grandchildren's Bible Club. It dawned on me that Noah, 4 year old Kellie and I could do this.
I immediately started making a game out of learning about the Bible. It seemed that getting these children interested in learning about God's Word stirred up something in me that had apparently been sleeping for awhile. I want to study and learn from God's Word again with these precious children.
Wow! I got carried away. I was trying to suggest that you find ways to make learning fun for yourself and the children. (The only problem is, you might too excited at bedtime to go to sleep; you'll be thinking of more games and things to play and learn.
The waiting was the hardest on her as she listened to the nurses’ shuffle around outside the door.
“Right now, the morphine has allowed her to rest comfortably and that’s about all that can we can do right now.” <--You began and ended this sentence with the words right now. I think it would sound ok if you left of the first one.
I've noticed some run-on sentences. You might want to read this aloud and check for run-on sentences and also be sure you've used punctuation marks at the end of each sentence.
This is a very interesting and touching story. However, there are a lot of typographical errors that need to be corrected. This takes away from the story.
With the errors corrected, I think you'll have a perfect story.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
Oh, how mMomma hated that term!When using the word momma as her title, it should be capitalized.
Anna sighed exasperated at her sister's inability to grasp the situation. “
if you think your<--This should be a contraction meaning you are, thus it should have an apostrophe for example you're making a mistake Anna,
tiny studio apartment you were living in and explained what was happening at dad's.
This is so beautiful. We should all remember not only our men and women in service, but also those left behind.
Not long ago, I had a little Bible Club with my grandchildren and some of their friends. Two of these kids (brothers) had a dad, an uncle and a cousin in Irag at the same time. I could really see a change in these little boys once their loved ones left the states.
I suppose this is a good survey. I often wonder why we have certain surveys unless it's going to help with one of our activities or some type writing that needs research.
You asked some fairly good questions.
I probably need to visit your port and read some of your writings.
I had to give this one a 5 rating. You have hit the nail on the head here. I don't understand where Christians are coming from when they do this to other Christians. I'm not going to say they are not Christians, but I am saying they can't be following the leadership of the Holy Spirit.
You've done a good job writing this piece. I found no typos or misspelled words.
The words in it are heartbreaking.
I wonder if you maybe have a short story in your port about this, or would it be too painful to write about? It leaves the reader wondering how Jeffery lost his life.
This is a beautiful poem. It has so much truth in it.
However, you need to edit this and make a few small changes. Anytime you're speaking of God, (this is His name), capitalize it. When using he, him, etc. and speaking of God, you should capitalize He, Him, etc.
This seems to be written well. I found no typos or misspelled words. The only thing, I read the description before reading the poem. Now, I'm confused.
I thought it would be you talking and your son talking. Yet, if that's the case, I can't figure out who is who. Did I just misunderstand the description?
I had to give this a 5 rating. This is such a sad story. It's hard to have to watch our loved ones (especially our children) suffer. I almost lost my 31 year old son last April. Thank God, he survived, but only because of prayers.
This is written well. I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. That really amazes me, because usually in an item of this size, there is at least one mistake.
You've already told a lot about yourself in this story. I'm anxious to read more.
Welcome to wdc. You've written an interesting story here. The whole purpose for posting and receiving reviews is to better ourselves with our writing.
You've done a good job, but I can see a few things you can do to make it even better.
First of all, for the sake of us with poor eye sight , it would be easier for us to read if you'll double space between each paragraph.
I also noticed quite a few sentences that began with the word now. I don't think this is a big problem, but it would read better if you don't use the same word at the beginning of a sentence so often. I might be the only one that feels this way, so it's just a suggestion.
I'm looking forward to reading more. Keep writing and posting good stories, etc. for us to read.
I've listed some errors that you might want to correct below.
Grandma Penny
seeing there<--This should be spelled their red eyes glint in the moon light.
This piece is full of sadness. It's so pitiful how age and disease effects folks. It's heartbreaking to watch someone we once knew turn into someone we no longer know.
You've done a good job writing this. I found no typos or misspelled words.
I had to give this a 5 rating. You didn't make any typos or misspell any words that I could tell. You certainly held my interest from beginning to end. And, you wrote about something I can identify with. It's amazing what God can do for us.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
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, it would be easier for us to read if you'll double space between each paragraph.