hi
L.A it was well developed and thought out. The way you created the relationship seemed real enough, The intensity that she had used to change her appearance has been done before. However in this case it made sense. Even her falling for himalso made sense. Lik ethe stockholm syndrom, however she could have blown it long ago. That was where you drew us in, and closed the trap.
Great story, I thought that the crime was going to be the death of Dillinger, however you threw a devil of a curve ball at the reader. No you were proposing that they were going to break him out. Okay so, they were going get Al Capone released from the jail, before he might spill the bird about the speak easy's and where the booze came from. But no, the reason, he wanted his release was so as that he would off him. The guy he talking to off him. Al Capone's daughter slays him. Never saw it coming.
It seems that you have a great deal of pain. You blame yourself for her death. How were you to know, this or that. You were not aware that you are calling while she was on the road. How could you know, that? Also that she decided to sheck into the data you provided to her.
Just remember that she was your friend. She was doing this because she felt you were important enough to respond to. At the moment. You have to look at what you have learned. Trust your heart. Believe you are worthy to love yourself.
Hi
Great piece.You speak truly from the heart. I thank you for willing to share this piece of work with us. You are so, right. Perhaps we all here to give what we can to others as there is no one else in your shoes than you. We learn through our experiences, maybe for us to see what it would feel like if the action done by you are returned to you in the next rebirth. There is an old adage which is what goes around comes around.
hi,
adrift. It sounds as though you have m what I have. People do not understand, that each day. Is just another trial and tribulation. There is nothing that can break these chains that hold us here. Solitude is all you know. The only one who listens to you is you. you understand what you are feeling. They do not.
hi
Can not say it can not happen. I read an article in the press a good many years ago, When to illiterate people one of whom decided he wished to rob a bank. So, he got a buddy of his to write the letter, and his partner a grocery list. The one wanting to rob the bank handed the teller the list of groceries and the other showed a boy the bank note. Neither one got what they wanted. But it happened.
Maybe have them wait til the sheriff leaves to go in?
What you are suggesting is fact, true enough. There is a danger in development of all these things. The tv originally had a boob tube in it. Which was a cathoray tube. NOt sure about the spelling, but it ended alot of out door sports. I was born in the sixties. It also captivated us as much as the computer has us.
How many of us have tvs, or had unit now. Computers are only its next evolvution. My father was a radar/communication tech then, so he used radar to cook weiners showing that off to army guys. Everyone has a cell phone or damn near every body.
hi
Jeff that is good. The wages of sin lay heavily on the shoulders of the sinner. Your discription is good.
But we all are sinners. No one is perfect. There is a saying in the bible that suggests,"Let he. who is perfect cast the furst stone. No one was perfect, so the stone was not cast.
Judge not those, before you. Least you will be judged.
hi
that tale stole the breath from my body. It was well written. I enjoyed the piece emmensely. I suspect you are a londoner. I hope you had a shot of whiskey to settle you nerves, You have a gift. it draws you in allows you to see, what you are trying to comvey to the reader.
hi
kamoonpuri The piece is exquisite. It allow me to see the fairies, you believe in beauty. You should as you are an angel. Believe you are worthy as you are, beautiful. We human's do not see it in ourselves, but we do in others. Look at the tranquil world you speak of. It heralds peace, with which we dream.
Beauty is in each human. I did not see it in me, until 10yrs ago. Before my world was a mess, I was devastated when I got divorced. Trust was blown away. That was until, I met Joyce and moved in.
Hi
The tale is indeed a ghost tale. It draws you in. The mentionof New Orleans is noted as being severly haunted. The ghosts are from that area. I suspect this was one of their tales. It had a feel to it of New Orleans. The cajun beliefs are prevailent. I enjoyed it emmensely.
where do I send the cheque to, or play pal. I need to know where it has to be sent. I would like to send 49.95, I do not know if tghius is in US funds. Please send me, the data tomorrow. Thank you Richard.
father death is who you speak of. He garishes souls of those who are nolonger with need, His reaper is long to take those who wish to argue, There is no argument. He comes for all. His eyes see all, he knows all. All our strengthes and weakenesses he knows. He and fates have a handin our lives.
The skien is cut and comes to claim us.
You have to have strength to carry on. Consider that you are worth it. You are human so, you are. NO one should have a power over another person. You are worthy of living on this planet. you are worthy to draw ones breathe, are you not. Beauty is what you are, believe you are worthy of being able to judge themselves (themselves being your ideals) What you can and should do. Have faith in yourself.
Death is something we have to come to terms with true. However the things that your rabbit did will still carry with it the reason loved him. The things he did at times, wher you were upset, but you still loved him.
Love is what we humans do? As humans we do not know everything, Look at what he meant to you, why he meant these things to do, is because you loved you and him. It is not wrong to love.
Great work with the dialogue, but you have to have some actionto sell it. I could envision what you were doing, with the chartacers. The dialogue is good, however we do not really know as to what is happening t=in the story. He is robbing a bank or a credit union. The child does not realize what is happeningg?
hi
okay. it is out of the house. Is she going to make it home, No one tried to attack it yet. It sounds like a human being, who is disoreinted, like it does not wanr to suggest it needed help. But was afraid to ask.
Who is it going to ask?
or is that Rebbecca asking?
Do Nathan and Melissa get there,
Perhaps have them check with an old crumudeon, old person who has been shunned but has their nose in a book or studied ole antiquites and is considered a miscreant with their knowledge,
Maybe have them talkwith this person have him either give them a book or show them to cast a spell to allow the monster to sleep or banish the monster,
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/hot_blood-89/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/10
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.31 seconds at 1:59am on Apr 28, 2024 via server web2.
| (4.5)
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
