hi,
zazar. The opening allows us some insight into the characters who you are going to allow us to know more throughly, the tale involves mages who go to school to learn the study of magic. The characters who need another member have the potentail to use a male instead of a female, as their fellow mage died.
They are unsure of what they should be doing? Is a male, what they really need? Ace is unsure of that effect. You have gotten me intriqued into desiring to read the next portion of the tale.
hi,
sundog. The tale was as you impressed upon us. A tale of the being brought back to life by necromancy. The people who did this, are not truly knowledgible about they were doing there. There were possible draw backs, that they were afraid would happen to them if they made a mistake.
They were fortunate that they did summon whom they desired. Not realizing that there are other beings who pursue the dead. Like demons and devils as well as humans. They were able to acquire what they were seeking there, the money to get their debts paid off.
hi,
AJ. The option of advancement is based on several things, as is reported in this piece. They see thing differently from other races. Their philophecy is that of advancement can also be that of developmental studies as well. But if they are relying upon this soully there will no one to continue on in the advancement of society.
hi,
AJ. So, you have a love story, that spans quite a few life times. They are able to change genders, in the first one she was the boss and he was her servant. He did not like that really. She speaks to him of doing this again. He is not willing to relinquish control of her gender just yet.
However they do indeed love each other, It allows the reader to feel harmony between the two beings,
how do I join the positively reveiw group, I am Richard. Cinnamon Fringe suggested I should take a look, and I suppose introduce myself to you.
I have been here nearly five monthes exactly. I have complied a good many reveiws. I thought I would be able to use points to pay for my position here.
So, I tried. Found out I errored, no harm no foul.
Only, I did not know how to adjust the error. They suggested I should check with technical support. Did not know how? Still don't!
hi,
Fastened.The story opens amid a battle scene. The young girl is wounded shaken by what she has seen happen before her eyes. She has to focus, her thought of what her mother told her. Good. It shows some clarity of the situation as it stands before her. She is clutching a dagger, it is not clear if she knows how to use it properly.
She wishes for a knight come and a save her. The scene I am not sure whether this is happening in midevial time or not. Bullets of blood running down her cheeks and head. Interesting description.
hi,
Jeannie, that was unique, but It could happen.Me and Randy my brother were in Grande Centre pop got us some hamburgers at a restaurant. But we were being bad. So, he had us stay in the car. They went inside to relax, so I decided, I did not want to eat mine.
So, threw mine out the window and Rand did like wise. Seagulls descended it was thick with them being there. Pop thought it was snowing as it was that many of them there. He had to wade through them. The was almost impossible to walk to the car.
hi,
Darren. It appears he has a concern, that his brother will see something out of order. You have allowed the reader to see that he care about the girl. He was with. She left him, or she is no longer in anyway going to create a problem for him.
His brother might see something out of place, he has not told him of her leaving his home. He knows he has to be able to walk out on his own, He feels that he has done nothing wrong.
hi,
Jeannie, that was beautiful and it sound like the thing the country would do. As they protect their community, the people who are there. Care because they know each other, I was raised on military base towns here in Canada. But if something happens to one of them, the rest of community bands together to help.
One base a school for the mentally challenged, thanks to a mjor whose daughter had this disability. So, he talked the commuity in setting up a school called LakeLand in Cold Lake for them. Otherwise they would have to have been in EDmonton or Lethbridge to accomadate the child..
This school, was unique, it is used by the people around the community using buses to get the children there,
hi,
Roland. you have got an imagination there. Allows the reader to preceive what you wish for them to see. The discussion about the man seeing the older woman. His not realizing who she is until. Their eyes locked.
The realization was well designed, ad well very well thought out. You brought up the suspense to draw us in. We are there, where you want us to be. We see each movement each second we watch the action.
I am curious, where did the hunters orginate, and their prey. Could you expand on this at a later time.
hi.
Jellyfish. That was very nice, I hope they are still wed. The peom is sweet and kinda neat. I hope the owl has enough sleep to keep the mermaid happy. The mermaid needs her water to keep her neat. she is sweet, you have given me a laugh,' you have a lot of sass.
hi,
cinnamon. The poem is for giving It allows the reader to pondeerr who the woman was who called, You were not impressed with this person calling at this time. I phoned a freind who told me to call at 4:30 am. He told me to call him after 4, so I did.
He said,"What do you mean by calling me at this hour?"
You told me, to call after 4. It is after 4, is it not!"
hi,
Arakun. That was cute. It sounds like a tale that happened to them as kids. Kind of like when I first heard a swear word did not know its meaning, but came home and used it. My mother had a fit. She wanted to skin me alive, because I said it, but how was I supposed to know it was a word should not say.
I got a licken for saying it. If you don't know, you are not supposed to do this. Hiow do you know, A friend of mine was having a tupperware party and her little was but one or two. Walked into their bed room brought out their sex toys,
That ended the party. How was she supposed to not do this. I do not know, do you.
hi,
Jellyfish. I can relate as we do not care as to what we do? We say, we wamt peace yet we prepare for war. The song of the earth is not a renewable resource. WE use what we can and walk away without understanding what we have done. We do this and that. We do not think, that it matters.
If there is no pure water, what can we do?
the air is filled with pollutants, what can we do?
the soil is without nutrients, what do we do?
as the government to do something about it,
when will they do this,
when it is too late.
that is our fate,
we wait
what a state
the clock is ticking down
why does the lord wear a frown
when he looks down
upon us
hi,
TJ. I was thinking before I started to read that it was about a child seeing his first rain. The rain washs the ground, to allow the plants to grow, this we know. But to a child it is a time to play. No matter what their parents say.
Children return drowned by the rain, muddy thank to the puddles that are there I was in for quite a scare when theunderclouds rolled in and hail fell from the sky. At least I was attempting to roll up teh windows of my fathers car. the hail fell with a great deal of force, I was frightened my it as it came down upon me.
hi,
Roland. The tale is good, it allows the reader to warn about the acquring things that are not theirs. One does not know, what is receiving. Until the article is opened much like pandora box. Fear is what the reader is feeling as the man is opening the box. The reason for the death of the couple was because of the package.
hi,
Arakun, So, you have aranged for the dark knight to have acquired himself a lady. The guards may have been horrified to have seen her meet the dark knight. Where upon they were to have a liaison of sorts. Now, she had joined him in his pursuit of the denizens who wander the forest. They both now gaurd the forest.
The king's daughter has been lost, the king must have sent others to find her. What has happened to them might be used to create a secondary story. No king would allow his princess to be captured. Great short story.
hi,
TJ. The story is good. However it was too brief. Their desire to escape made sense, but seeing as to what he was to do with the weapon of his choice, skurkens are small devices. It this reality based, I would not be happy. Aside from the description of the weapon's size, and his process with them.
If he had been laid out, by her head butting. He should not have come too so soon. Aside from that congrates.
hi,
Jeannie. I am sorry to hear about the death of someone you loved. It made me feel as if it could have been your son. It was both beautiful and mournful. I wish you could put your head on my shoulder. To release the pain, that you are feeling. I hope the death, was understood by you.
As you said, the mother suggested,"You are at peace. Death is a great deal of peace perhaps to the person who has passed. But it is more than likely, from the living's point of view, because they no longer see them feeling the pain that has ravaged their bodies, before they pass.
hi,
Khariyya. I understand, all people do that unfortunately. That is how we learn, is through our errors. No one is perfect. No one is pure of thought or without sin. We all desire something.
we do not allow ourselves to see what is really meant by this or that. If someone writes a poem for you, does it mean that they love you. They could? But if you are to jump to that conclusion without checking it out. You may make a mistake,
hi,
Arakun. That did the trick, I think, I had better go out and by a few dream catchers if the one. I have does not over flow. The story is good, I hope it won an award for it. It was great. I thought it was going tp be longer, but it did not need to be.
thank you , for presenting it to the reader as it is. Keep on plugging away at those keys. My dear.
Sincerely
Richard Edwards
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