Hi, I'm JPowell from The Knights of the Review Table and I am here to review your poem.
I love it. It flowed very nicely. I can feel the lust between the two in this poem. Punctuation seems to be in order too. I really wouldn't change a thing about it. It's a real nice piece.
I encourage you to keep writing because it's a great way to get your feelings out. Keep it up!!!
Hi, I am JPowell from The Knights of the Review Table and I am here to review your poem.
You choose your word very well. I see your point and it is very well written. May i suggest that you space by separating thoughts with spaces. This is just a suggestion and need not to be followed. May I also suggest that you add punctuation to it to make it flow better. Once again this is only a suggestion.
Overall: A very good write. I encourage you to keep writing because it's a great way to get feelings out.
Hi, I am JPowell from The Knights of the Review Table and I am here to review your poem.
I really like this piece. You really express your feelings well in this. Punctuation seems to be in order also. You choose the right words to express yourself in this poem.
I encourage you to keep writing and expressing yourself in this manner.
Hi, I'm JPowell from The Knights of the review Table and I am here for review your poem.
This is a very good piece. You express what everyone feels when trying to reach a friend who is struggling. I wouldn't change anything about this. The punctuation seems to be in order with it. You choose the right words to get your point across.
I encourage to keep writing and trying to help your friend.
Hi, I'm JPowell from The Knights of the Review Table and I am here for review your poem.
First, it touched me because I lost my grandfather when I was 19. He was like a father to me. This is a very good piece. You choose great words to get your point across. The only thing that I would change is to add a little more punctuation to it.
I encourage you to keep writing. I really like your work. Thank you for sharing this with us.
Hi, I am JPowell from I.N.K.E.D. and I am here to review your piece.
I really like it. It does show how a middle child can feel in a busy household. It can be hard for a mother to raise children and give them all the attention they need. I did not see any mistakes within this piece. If I were you I would consider going over this and making sure all punctuation is in order. I did notice a few spots where I might add a comma but I could be wrong.
Welcome to Writing.com and I encourage you to continue to write.
Hi, I am JPowell and I from The Knights of the Review Table and I am here to review your poem.
It flows real nice and you choose great words to get your point across. If I may make a suggestion that you use a little more punctuation to make it flow even better. This is just a suggestion and you need not to follow it.
I encourage you to continue to write. This is a wonderful piece and I wish you luck in your writings.
Hi, I am JPowell and I am here to review your rap. The suggestions are only that, suggestions. You need not to follow them.
First, I would add some punctuation to it to make it flow better. I write some songs but not rap so I am not an expert. For example the second line should have a comma between "you're not" and "little". This is just a suggestion. It may make it flow better with that.
Overall... a good piece. I encourage you to continue to work on it.
Hi, I am JPowell and I am here to review your poem.
Its a very nice read and flows very well. I know how it feels when the one you love doesnt express their feelings. It can be hard for some people.
I found no spelling mistakes in this piece. If I may make suggestion that some more punctuation might be needed. This is just a suggestion and you need not to follow. I am talking about periods and such. Like I said just a suggestion.
Overall: A very good poem. Really gets someone thinking about what they should be doing.
Hi, I am JPowell from The Knights of the Review Table and I am here to review your poem.
Its a very good poem. It touches what I believe that everyone questions at some point in their life.
I found no spelling or grammar errors. Actually I found nothing wrong with it at all. You are right we all must dream. Like the quote from "Oliver and Company" they say "Keep the dream alive cause dreaming is how the strong survive".
Hi this is JPowell from Knights of the Review Table and I am here to review your poem.
This is a great poem. It really shows the reader that he or she has a choice in which way to live. I am a believer myself and this poem really touched me.
Overall: this poem is great. As a suggestion I would add punctuation but you don't have to. It is simply a suggestion.
I encourage you to keep writing. You have potential.
Hi, its JPowell from Knights of the Review Table and I am here for review your piece.
First, I totally get the part with grammar and punctuation. That does need some work but its readable. I understand that you want to get the story out before worrying about that and for that I respect you. So, when you do you your final edit please fix the grammar and punctuation which I am sure you will.
I feel that it is believable. You built the characters nicely. A matter a fact I really enjoyed getting to know the characters through you introduction. You did well on that.
This incident is definitely believable and could happen which I know is what you are going for. I encourage you to work on this piece and spruce it up. Its a great piece with a lot of potential.
Hello, its JPowell from Knights of the Review Table. I have come to review your poem.
First, its a great poem. I know how it feels to lose the home you grew up in. Mine is long gone also. Second, the only thing I would change is some punctuation. For example: Ponder my days there, some easy, some hard. That's how I would change it. This is just a suggestion and does not have to be changed.
Overall: I really like it. I think some wording can be moved around to illustrate the house you once lived. Once again this is just a suggestion.
I would encourage you to continue to write cause you have potential.
Very interesting poem. Its hard being alone. I know that feeling all to well. I would change around some of the punctuation in this but not by much. I might not include the ... at the end of some stanzas but that's just me. I encourage to continue to write and work on this poem. It has potential. Please keep writing. Again this is just my suggestion. I seen no spelling errors either. So great job.
I really like this poem. I was shocked at the ending. I guess I expected a happy ending. Either way its a touching poem. It has potential to really touch someone. I know when I was young I lost my first love and I know she would say the same thing to me. I encourage you to keep writing. You seem to have potential.
Excellent poem. Dreams can be revealing to us. Of course God uses many things to talk to us. I wouldnt change anything about this poem but I might add punctuation to it. This is just a suggestion though. Keep writing. God Bless.
Very good article. I see where you are coming from and truly understand your point. There is one spot where you have "you" which should be "your". Thats the only mistake I found. I would encourage you to keep writing and putting your thoughts on paper.
Hello, great poem. As a Christian myself I understand. From a writers stand point i would add a little more to it. I would eliminate 1 liners. Does that make sense? I hope so.
You could even start out the poem with the 4th commandment. I think this would give someone a better understanding.
I would just make your stanzas a little longer and eliminate 1 liners. Just my opinion tho.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/innersoul/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/6
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.29 seconds at 11:40am on May 02, 2024 via server web2.