I am a writer just like you and I am simply reviewing your piece to encourage you and give you my advice on how to improve. Thank you for that chance. I hope you enjoy my review.
First impression:
First impression is that I liked the emotion in this poem. I am like you in that I write from the heart.
What I liked:
What I liked is the emotion you put into this. I can feel it as I read it. It is hard when we lose someone we love.
What I think could be improved:
I believe (only opinion) that some commas. I'll give you an example:
I miss you every season in the sunshine and the rain.
I believe that there should be a comma between "season" and "in". This is just my opinion though.
Overall Thoughts:
This is a very good piece. I encourage you to continue to write.
I am a writer just like you and these things are just opinion.
Gerernal Thoughts:
This is a very good poem. I liked how you described your characters. I can see how someone might not understand it but truthfully I did not find it that hard.
Improvements:
I looked and looked and could not find one mistake. Everything seems to be in order. Great job!!
What I liked The Most:
What i liked the most is how you took two ordinary things and turned them into a great poem. A noble apple? Who ever heard of such a thing!
The best part was the very ending. The apple thought he was safe but then the lowly warm is coming. Great twist.
Overall Thoughts:
This is a very good piece. I encourage you to keep writing.
I am a writer just like you and I am simply reviewing your piece to encourage you and give you my advice on how to improve. Thank you for that chance. I hope you enjoy my review.
First impression:
Wow. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I choose to read this poem. It was awesome. I like how you state the truth about the human race. We have destroyed a lot over the years. The sad thing is that we continue to do so. This bee was just trying to survive.
What I liked:
I liked how you described things. The words you used to describe what the human race has done. I don't think I could have done it.
What I think could be improved:
I looked for improvements but could not find any. None at all !!!
Overall Thoughts:
This was a very well written piece. I mean you really described things so well. I encourage you to keep writing.
God Bless
I am a writer just like you and these things are just opinion.
Gerernal Thoughts:
This is a very good poem. Love is a strange thing. It's not suppose to be unforgiving but can be. Also the saying that love is blind is so true. I have seen so many people do stupid things in the name of love. Improvements:
When doing reviews I look for ways to improve the writing or writings. When I read yours I could not find one thing to change. Good job. What I liked The Most:
What I liked is how you described love to the tee. Love isn't perfect. Thats for sure and you did a good job pointing that out.
Overall Thoughts:
This is a great poem. i encourage you to keep writing. Thank you for writing
I am a writer just like you and these things are just opinion.
Gerernal Thoughts:
First, let me say that I am sorry for your loss. I know how that feels. This is a great poem. You really expressed yourself well.
Improvements:
I looked for improvements (I really did) but truthfully I wouldn't change a thing. What I liked The Most:
What I liked the most was how you expressed yourself so well. Most people have a hard time doing that. It's hard to take so many emotions and put them into one piece.
Overall Thoughts:
This is a great piece. You did a great job getting your point across and putting your feelings on paper. Thank you for sharing.
I am a writer just like you and these things are just opinion.
Gerernal Thoughts:
Writing can be a gift but takes a lot of work. I always say if we put as much energy into doing something creative as we do doing things negative then our lives would be much better.
Improvements:
In my opinion I wouldn't capitalize every letter of a new line but just of a new sentence or thought. Just my opinion though. What I liked The Most:
So just live those lives to the full,
And stop filling your pages with bull;
That just stuck out to me. So true my fellow writer.
Overall Thoughts:
This is a very good piece. I encourage you to keep on writing. Thank you for writing
I am a writer just like you and these things are just opinion.
Gerernal Thoughts:
Very good poem about love. Love is so many things that it is hard to explain. You were able to put so many things about love on paper that it just amazes me.
Improvements:
Honestly, I don't see anything that I would change. It seems thats you choose the right words to best describe your feelings.
What I liked The Most:
I loved the words you choose. This is my favorite stanza:
love,
the energy pulling me and the
groundless sand of the hourglass,
into the sea as it crashes against
It just hits me and I can really relate.
Overall Thoughts:
This is a great poem. I encourage you to continue writing.
I am a writer just like you and I am simply reviewing your piece to encourage you and give you my advice on how to improve. Thank you for that chance. I hope you enjoy my review.
First impression:
The plot is a good one. We all lose loved ones (including myself) but that doesnt make it any easier. I know from experience that I once loved someone so much it drove me crazy when they walked away.
What I liked:
What I liked is how you put on paper what a lot of people feel. We have all loved people and some have walked away from us for whatever reason.
What I think could be improved:
What I think needs improved is the spelling and grammer. For example change "u" to "you". Change "n" to "and". This is just my opinion. You dont have to but I am giving you my advice.
Overall Thoughts:
You have a good piece here especially if you change the spelling and grammer. Again this is just my opinion.
I am a writer just like you. I am not here to judge you but give you MY personal thoughts on something you have written. You may choose to take my suggestions to heart or simply blow them off. That is up to you. It is my honor to read your work and be able to add my two cents to it.
My favorite part
My favorite part was how just about everyone can relate to this piece. We have all lost a loved one in our life. When its said and done all we have is memories and the stories they told. My great- grandmother was born in 1901 and boy did she have stories to tell of that time. I cherish them today as she passed in 1992 at the age of 91.
Flow
This piece flowed very nicely. I had no problems following it. Your words seemed to flow. You choose your words nicely and boy did they fit.
Grammer
I found no grammer mistakes.
Over all thoughts
Like I said above, when our loved ones pass all we can hold on to is the memories and you depicted that very well in this poem. Please continue to cherish them. Also I encourage to continue to write put down your feelings on paper (so to speak).
I am a writer just like you. I am not here to judge you but give you MY personal thoughts on something you have written. You may choose to take my suggestions to heart or simply blow them off. That is up to you. It is my honor to read your work and be able to add my two cents to it.
My favorite part
My favorite part was the very beginning when you spoke about being crazy. I believe in order to make it in this world you have to be a little crazy. Life is to short to not enjoy it. Then towards the end you mention joking helps ease the pain. That is so true. Life is full of stress and a laugh every once in a while helps us deal with that stress.
Flow
This poem flowed very nicely. I had an easy time reading it. The punctation you used helped also. Great job!
Grammer
I found no grammer mistakes in this piece.
Over all thoughts
This is a great piece. I believe we are all a work in progress. We are constantly learning something new everyday. Therefore we are also changing everyday. I encourage you to continue writing.
My favorite part was how you described the 2013 playoffs. It was done very nicely. As a sports fan myself I was able to truly understand what you are saying. The playoffs this year are crazy to say the least. You did a great job of describing it. I also liked how you said that no matter whats happens the best team shall win. Even though I disagree with that at times because of the refs bad calls and players having a off day I can see where you are coming from.
Flow
Now on to the flow. I did find one mistake though. It is just my opinion and by all means you dont have to change anything or even agree with my opinion. Lets take a look at the stanza I am talking about:
It’s the game’s wicked memorandum –
It’s a postseason victory for some,
My thing with that is starting both sentences with the same word. When I write I try not to do that. It is just my opinion though and you can do whatever you like with it.
Grammer
Your grammer was great. I found no mistakes in this.
Over all thoughts
This poem is a perfect example of the 2013 MLB playoffs. Very wel written and you choose the right words to describe it. I encourage you to continue writing.
This item has been reviewed by a WDC Power Reviewer.
DISCLAIMER: I am an author just like you. My suggestions are just that... suggestions. You need not to follow them. I am here simply to encourage you through suggestions and good feedback. God Bless
What I liked the most: Wow!! What a poem. One of the best ones I have seen on here. What I liked the most was how you took the things we take fro granted, like wild life and used it to show us what we are missing when we look at God's creation. Like the old saying goes: Stop and smell the roses. The writer here is trying to show how we need to look around us and see the greatness that surrounds us on a regular basis. My favorite was: Come cry with me and Be cleansed of yesteryear. We must let go of the past and focus on today. Very good poem all around.
PUNCTUATION Like I always say, I dont pay to much attention to punctuation in poetry. I use it in mine but that doenst mean you have to. Some of the greatest poets do not use punctuation.
Grammar:
I found no grammer mistakes in this piece. Very good job! It can be hard to pay attention to every detail of a piece. You are trying to put your thoughts down and watch for mistakes at the same time. Thats the nice thing about WDC, we have others that can help become better writers.
FLOW: The flow of this was very good. It was an easy read.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: Once again I say "Wow"! This piece reminds me to slow down adn enjoy life. Being a busy person that I am its hard to do. Thank you for sharing and reminding us all.
This item has been reviewed by a WDC Power Reviewer.
DISCLAIMER: I am an author just like you. My suggestions are just that... suggestions. You need not to follow them. I am here simply to encourage you through suggestions and good feedback. God Bless
What I liked the most: What I liked the most was how you put so much in such few words. As writers sometimes we "talk" to much in our stories or poems. Meanwhie the point could have been made with few wrods like you did here.
PUNCTUATION I use a lot of punctuation in my poems and writings, sometimes to much. I believe when it comes to poetry its is the writers choice whether to use punctuation or not. You choose not to and thats okay. A comma here or there in this poem is not gonna hurt it or help it.
Grammar:
I found no grammer mistakes in this piece. Very good job on that.
FLOW:
The flow was awesome. I could understand it and read it with no problems.
OVERALL THOUGHTS:
Over all thoughts is that this is a short but to the point. I believe we learn more from observing people than anything else. Its important fro us to sit back and watch people and see how they act. The dancing in this piece seems like a lot of fun and very enjoyable. i encourage you to keep on writing. Thank you for sharing this with us.
What I liked the most: What I liked the most was how you described what a lot of us feel at some point in our lives. We all experience our struggles and feel empty inside.
Punctuation: Great job on punctuation. I would add some end line punctuation to this. This just helps the reader separate one line from another. This is only a suggestion and you need not to follow it.
Grammar: You did a great job choosing your words and they fit nicely within this piece. I found no grammar mistakes in this poem.
Flow: This piece flowed wonderfully. It was an easy read indeed.
Final Thoughts: This is a great piece. Like I said above we all feel that emptiness at some point in our lives. Great job putting it into words.
What I liked the most: What I liked the most was how you worded everything. Just remember that every piece is always a a work in progress. You will come back to this and probably change things.
Punctuation: I really found no specific errors in the punctuation. I would however make sure you are not using fragmented sentences.
Grammar: Very good choice of words. I wish I knew a word to describe the air bag. If I come up with something I will write you. e
Flow: It flowed very nicely. Good job of holding the readers attention.
Final Thoughts: Very good piece of work. You have a great start. I encourage you to keep writing.
This item has been reviewed by a WDC Power Reviewer.
DISCLAIMER: I am an author just like you. My suggestions are just that... suggestions. You need not to follow them. I am here simply to encourage you through suggestions and good feedback. God Bless
What I liked the most: What I liked the most is how you took a real life situations and put them into words. Its not an easy thing to do. As writer myself I know how hard it is to take a real life situation and put it on paper that makes sense.
PUNCTUATION I found no punctuation errors in this. This made it flow nicely.
Grammar: I found no grammar mistakes in this piece. Great job!
FLOW: It flowed very well. Great job!
OVERALL THOUGHTS: I wont lie... as I was reading tears came to my eyes. Especially when the mother died. As a person who cannot have children herself I hold this piece close to my heart. You answered the question that I could never find out... it is worth it.
This item has been reviewed by The Knights of the Review Table
DISCLAIMER: I am an author just like you. My suggestions are just that... suggestions. You need not to follow them.
What I liked the most: What I liked the most was how you took a simple things and turned it into a wonderful poem. A simple plot about Johnny going to the store turns into something much deeper.
PUNCTUATION: As a suggestion I would use end line punctuation. It helps it flow better.
GRAMMAR: I only found one grammar mistake and thats when you said "wath". I have never heard of that word. So, if its a word then my error and forgive me.
FLOW: It flowed very well. It would flow better if you added end line punctuation.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: This is a great piece. With a little work on it, it will become even better.
This item has been reviewed by The Knights of the Review Table
DISCLAIMER: I am an author just like you. My suggestions are just that... suggestions. You need not to follow them.
What I liked the most: What I liked the most is how you gave people hope in the end. We all have our struggles but there is hope. If we are knocked down once... get back up and keep going.
PUNCTUATION: I found no punctuation errors in this. Great job.
GRAMMAR: I found no grammar errors in this piece. Great job again!
FLOW: It flowed very nicely. It was an easy read.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: Like I said above... we all have our struggles. The important thing is to learn from them and get back up and keep going. Keep writing.
This item has been reviewed by The Knights of the Review Table
DISCLAIMER: I am an author just like you. My suggestions are just that... suggestions. You need not to follow them.
PUNCTUATION: Great use of punctuation in this piece. Made it flow great and an easy read.
GRAMMAR: I found no grammar mistakes in this.
FLOW: It flowed great. It was a great read.
What I liked the most: What I liked the most is that you took a very famous situation out of the Bible and put them into words. I have never seen it looked at quite this way. Great job.
OVERALL THOUGHTS: Great piece. I guess my question is do you have any more Christian writings? As a Christian and a Christian writer myself I would enjoy reading them.
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