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316 Public Reviews Given
316 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (2.0)
I posted a poem on the request page, and I figured I would return the favor to others. I stumbled upon this poem. This is my opinion only.

You are telling a story. There is absolutely no imagery put into this piece. It is best to show a story rather than just telling it. Your lines seemed like they were paraphrasing thoughts. No descriptive vocabulary at all. The meter and flow seemed very random.

You can't paraphrase what you are thinking and tie it together to a consistent form and call it good poetry. It isn't that easy or simple. Some poetry deals with abstract thoughts, while others are a story, but with things like meter, rhyming, and word choice brings a blend of a vision together. The beauty is not only through the images and tastes that are displayed, but is through the writing of the language itself. With free verse, what makes that form so strong is the word choice, and flow (that is usually guided through punctuation) that is used to emphasize a certain point or idea.

It seems you just paraphrased what you were thinking and then you wrote it. And that was about it. I'm sorry, but it brings a very weak read; it was not captivating at all. If that is all you did, I would suggest putting more effort into your writing.

Keep practicing.


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Review of Heart In Hands  
Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I posted one of my poems to be reviewed on the reviewers request page, so I figured I would review back. And so I stumbled upon this poem.

I really think it is well written. You followed a very specific form and meter, which in my mind constricts with what you can do. And you made the poem flow well, and it sounded right at the moments of rhyme. The opening line of this poem really sets a strong introduction. I must be honest however, in my opinion the line, "each other together, my, what a pair" seems to be a forced rhyme, and is weak. But honestly, the rest did itself justice. If you were to rewrite the line, I honestly think you would have a more complete piece. I just feel that line is a drastic change of tone with respect to the rest of the poem and the intensity isn't there.

But great job. I understand there is a certain message you want to convey in a certain format, and you did a really nice job. Keep writing! I really think if you keep at it you could be a very strong writer.


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Review of Yea Plunge  
Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
I don't quite understand the poem yet, but I have only read it twice. I like poems that are open to interpretation, poems that allow the reader to walk in the doorway rather than the writer holding their hands. So I don't get it quite yet, but it is on me.

I thought this was really well done. Some of the writing was really well done, especially, "purposeless purpose" really got me wired to read the poem. I know this sounds crazy, but I didn't really notice the rhyme. I was transfixed in the story, and some of the imagery that you put in there. Honestly, that is my only criticism. There was very little imagery, but you make it up by telling an intriguing story. Basically, if you didn't have such a creative story, you would have a weak poem because there wasn't enough imagery (in my opinion).

Really nice job. Keep writing.


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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is my opinion only.

You are proposing an intellectual case, and there is no imagery at all. I felt absolutely no emotion when I was reading this poem. It was so easily accessible (directly to the point) that there was no room for my interpretation. There is no room for the reader to navigate through your poem, you are just telling as it is.

Also, I would suggest italicizing "our" and "theirs" rather than doing caps lock. The capital letters give the impression that you are shouting.

With how you approached with what you were trying to say, I would recommend changing mediums to like an essay. A medium where you can streamline descriptive thoughts to convey your point. I just felt that this poem didn't really read like a poem. Some things you could consider putting into the poem to make if feel like a poem is to show a story of the point you are trying to make. You can use irony, symbolism, and imagery. And yes, telling a story allows for multiple interpretations from readers, but that is the potency of poetry and art in general. In other words, I would argue that a poem that is telling many various messages to people versus a poem whose meaning is well known and clear, in most cases (not all) the poem with multiple messages is more potent.

Also, you use the same words very frequently in this poem. A word should fight to be put in the poem. What happens when you use the same words over and over, the words become noise - filler. Words that are being used again and again with the same meanings, is taking away from the potency of the work because more descriptive words could be used in their place. That might be why it didn't really read like a poem, is the lines could be constricted. There are many unnecessary words.

Keep writing. I would also suggest to read a book of poetry if you are going to stick with poetry.


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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
There are three things that really stand out with this poem. The first is the title. The title needs to be creative and a portal into which you are writing about. Stating what type of poem it is, there is no room of uncertainty. And some of the good titles, are the ones that make you wonder what is going to be written about, only to find out once you read the poem. So I really think the title took away drastically from the poem.

The second main criticism I have is that you rhyme in the gerrand form of verbs for three stanzas. That lack of variety makes the poem uninteresting and not as powerful.

The third criticism I have, is that you are writing a poem about an office space job. That in of itself isn't very interesting. Also on the third line of the second stanza you use the word "who" twice in the same line. That really takes away from the strength of the line, and makes it wordy.

It's easy for me to point out things in other people's writing while not having perfect poetry myself. Just keep that in mind. But if you take this review to heart, just learn from it, and try again!


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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
These are my opinions only, but I think you automatically sold yourself short for writing a poem about a flea market. I'm currently reading an anthology of poetry spanning from 1400 to present day. The very topics that are expressed in those poems are much more profound. For example, trying to wrap your head around the concept of death, seduction in paradise, and whole stories. I advise you to start reading some more poetry if you plan on sticking with it. You had the basics right. Consistent rhyme scheme with consistent form, with punctuation to guide the flow for the reader. So that is a very good sign. I will say that your vocabulary is very generic, and makes the poem more weak. I would advise on reading more poetry in general to expand your descriptive vocabulary.

And I will say, it is extremely easy for me to nit pick other people's work when my work is not nearly as strong as you might think it may be. I've reviewed enough on WDC and read enough elsewhere to the point I have construed my own style, and see what makes a poem strong and not so strong in my own opinion. I have plenty to work on myself, some of which I outlined above.

Keep writing.


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Review by 777
In affiliation with Shadows and Light Free Verse G...  
Rated: E | (2.0)
Honestly this is more of an essay piece than a poem. You are telling a story and not showing it. There is no punctuation, so it reads like paragraph form. Usually political poetry is weak, simply because it is mostly intellectual without description, and not emotional. We need imagery, description, non-generic vocabulary, to entice emotions with a central message. That message can be different from reader to reader. That is another problem with this piece. There is no room for deduction by the reader; you are stating exactly what the meaning is. Generally poems with multiple possible meanings are much more powerful than poems with a single meaning. Plus, you aren't putting any responsibility to the reader to piece anything together. It makes the reading experience not as engrossive.

I really think you could write a good essay with that. Explain the circumstance and your thesis clearly, and you got a good essay.


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Review by 777
In affiliation with Shadows and Light Free Verse G...  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
I like the abstract concept. The only weak part is the muse in my opinion. First, a muse or the muse is used way too much to the point it is turning into a cliche in my opinion. But the reader is left questioning, what does the muse signify? Music itself? That is what I am thinking. But it was a very creative concept and I think it worked. I really think you could add something to this poem if you added punctuation, and helped control the flow of the poem. The poem read so quickly without it, but what has it going for it is the descriptive and non-generic vocabulary. I really think that flexed the muscles so to speak with this poem.

But without the punctuation, it does kind of feel like it runs on at certain parts. Also the problem with formatting the poem in the central alignment is that there are natural indentations. Usually what an indentation will do to me is to signify to speed up the pause between the lines. If you want to keep that, then you really need to think about introducing punctuation.

Anyways, good poem! Keep writing!


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Review by 777
In affiliation with Shadows and Light Free Verse G...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I thought this poem was phenomenal. The description was just so full, and the indentations add a speed to change the meter that I felt worked very well. The images really came alive, and on top of that, there was a story. Of someone coming from that neighborhood, that background, and deciding to take their lives in their own hands and start a new life. That takes guts.

Just well done.


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Review of The Book  
Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
This is a really well done poem. It captivated me from the beginning, as I deal with insomnia really bad. I have to take medication for it actually, or else I won't sleep at all. But this was a great description of what happens, and how I suppose you deal with insomnia. Personally most of the time I can't write, I have to do something and not think. So that usually entails video games. BUT, I liked how you personified the ability to sleep as a Muse. I thought that was really creative. I like how through writing in a journal we are writing a song of our life. I thought that was a nice touch too.

I had an emotional response to this piece, and that is what poetry is about in my opinion. The rhyme and flow was good. If you want to push yourself further, I would advise writing a rhyming poem with more advanced/descriptive vocabulary. Just a thought. Also, you could have some stanzas describing the environment that the character is in. That would add more imagery to the poem.

Regardless, nice job and nicely done. Keep writing.

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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really liked your description in this piece. I was really able to grab what you were trying to convey during those moments, so I thought your word choice was really good. I felt that there needed to be a better transition between talking about your eldest son and then going to your Mom. The change was so drastic that it took me by surprise. So I would consider putting in some transitional sentences to ease the change into talking about your Mom. I also think the transition between talking about your childhood back to your children, is doable, but would be better with some sort of transition. Like I said, if you don't touch it, it works, but if you were to revise it the overall flow would be better.

I think there is a clear thesis. That your method of taking your children to museums is an effective way to give them knowledge but not appear to be stupid at the same time. There are three distinct parts: the reflection of your children in general, the recollection of your mother, and the testament to her methods (present day). I would work on the transitions between those three core parts. I think your writing is well done; it reads very well. I didn't really catch any punctuation or grammatical errors, but I am known to have grammatical issues.

Well done, keep writing!

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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
First I want to say this is a moving story. My family and I allowed a homeless man to stay with us to help him get situated. He essentially used us. He wasn't trying to find work and was just eating our food and showering here. So we had to kick him out.

I like how you were appreciative of what he did but you didn't take advantage of him. You didn't use him. Which is admirable.

But I must say, I do not think this constitutes as an essay. I have seen short stories be claimed essays but they make a major statement about society. Some of the essays I read written like this was written by George Orwell. I remember one story. It was basically a short story making a statement about capital punishment.

In this work's case, I think this is more of a biographical story. I think people can take from the story, but I do not see any statements made against society. I will note that it is well written in my opinion. The story came alive to me. I would also suggest expanding on the piece a bit. You kind of streamlined the telling of the story, surely missing some details. Any more details are not a bad thing. It sucks the reader into what you are writing. The work is pretty short, that is all I am saying.

The story really shows how much of a positive impact someone can have on someone else. And just providing the necessities of life to someone for a week makes all the difference.

Keep writing! As far as my rating goes, my disagreement with how to categorize this piece is extremely minor. I think honestly you need to develop this piece more if you want a truly polished work.

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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.0)
This was basically a play with words. It was clever, but I must say the last line definitely seems to be forced. This poem was very intellectual for the most part, and that was about it. To top it off, it is a political poem. I think writing about politics so strongly for one side is going to alienate many of your audience, simply because being all about one particular side or ideology means you are another member of the classic debates of liberalism and conservatism. I'd like to think that some people realize there are concepts from both parties that are good, not just one or the other. That is way too simplistic.

I think you should of used a different medium to communicate your ideals. Poetry is about imagery, that inevitably entices the emotions, while doing so in a concise manner. I would say this would be a good essay piece. An essay as to why you think Obama is a joke. After all, an essay is an intellectual endeavor navigating through the haze of reason. In this poem, you just told a political stance. There was no irony, symbolism, imagery, or some tangible meaning. The meaning of the poem is as clear as day, there is no necessary thought. I would also argue that the meaning I can't take, because I have heard the countless points against Obama.

This is basically an opinion piece with rhyme on your stance towards Obama. In my eyes, that's a pretty weak poem. Maybe other people will disagree.

As always, keep writing! We can only get better.


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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
The structure of it being all questions is quite unique. I haven't seen that before. I will say, that the very nature of a question makes closing with a question not as final as a certain statement. The ending is a very open ending and leaves for many thoughts, but I felt there wasn't a finality to it. I also thought the rhyming attempts at the end while the rest of the poem didn't rhyme was interesting. To me, it felt out of place. By reintroducing rhyme it changes how things sound. It is best, in my opinion, to do rhyming poetry with a consistent structure. The constant scheme flows and sounds best to the ear. The rhyming at the end just felt out of place.

I felt this poem was purely on the intellectual level and had no substance to emotions or imagery. If you want to write really powerful poetry, you gotta describe environments, people, things, or environments in general, what have you. When writing a poem with all questions this takes away from this process.

Keep writing, that is for sure. But I don't think writing a poem of just questions is going to make an impactful poem.

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Review of Number Ten  
Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is just a story with two boys and chickens. The vocabulary was very generic and there was very little description or imagery. (I understand you are new to poetry, but I am just sharing what I have found that makes good poems.) There are probably lines that could be condensed, and there are two words that are repeated frequently: will and was. You want to be as economical as possible with poetry. If you feel these words must be repeated then that is okay, but as a general rule, repetitious words takes away from the power of the poem. If you replace the word with another, possibly more descriptive word, you have essentially created more meaning. That is what I am trying to say.

But I know you don't do this often. Even all those things that I outlined above, I have a hard time following in my poetry. It is just from being reviewed and reviewing other people you notice what makes poetry strong. Also, reading poetry too.

I say valiant try! But there are plenty of things to work on for your next attempt if you are interested at pursuing poetry.

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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.0)
I honestly feel you would do this thought more justice by writing an essay. This was more of a poem describing an idea. That stimulates the mind, but in my opinion, better poetry stimulates the senses and heart. I also thought at a certain time you were being too wordy. "On the" and "on a" could be removed and you would keep the meaning of the lines. This takes away from repetition and makes the lines more concise, which adds to the power of the line. "only after" could be removed too.

But again, I do not think poetry is the most affective describing an idea or concept. I think poetry does best describing images, senses, and emotion. It may not describe emotion, but it entices emotion from the description placed within the poem. Also, your vocabulary is generic which cuts the poem short. More advanced vocabulary adds meaning, description, and allows lines to be more concise.

Can I do all of this in my poetry writing? Nope. It is just what I have found to make good poems, through reviewing and others reviewing on me.

Write on! We can only get better.

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Review of Booting Up  
Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
This has got to be the most interesting poem I have read in a long time. I followed what you wrote too. I thought it was very creative. It isn't the typical poem, but I will say that the language was very concise. And that is very good. But I can't really critique this poem like I usually would. But honestly, it's good! I found it a little humorous as well. I thought the logic was very mechanical which follows the whole premise of the poem.

Good job!

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Review by 777
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (2.5)
I understand you were staying true to a certain form, but you were telling me a story rather than describing something - which stimulates the senses, and entices emotion. That is where the true poetry lies. To me, you were describing a certain experience, and to do that adequately I feel like you need more than five lines, with more concise and descriptive language. I think if you wanted to keep the form, I would write something completely different. I would describe a scene, or a certain person, or environment. An experience, in order to get an essence of what you experienced, I feel like more than five lines are needed. Plus, you were telling the experience, not showing it. You could show it by the bodily reactions of the person, describe the change of perception of the world by possible using colors etc..

It is really hard when you constrict yourself to a certain form. In my opinion, it is a writing exercise, and that's about it. For me, certain forms are constrictive and robs the experience. In this case, that could of been part of the problem too.

But I will be honest with you - I am not much better than you. I have learned from previous reviews on my work, and from reviewing other people, what poetry might lack or not lack. It is easy for me to say what is missing and what should be done, it is harder for you as the writer to be able to write a strong poem. I have tried hard at writing poetry and I have come short many times. So keep writing! Keep trying! And you will only grow as a writer.

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Review by 777
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a random review, but this really is a wow factor poem. I am a sucker for rhyming poetry done right, and this was it. Everything flowed very well together. The description of this character is pristine. Great descriptions to really show the meaning of her beauty.

It has given me a possible inspiration for a poem of mine.

Great job.


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Review by 777
Rated: E | (5.0)
I got the wow factor. That means five stars. I will explain why.

First I was at the beach. You described the sea gulls, the color of the water, the swooshing tides, and how it "raised your soul." How the beach literally lifts the essence of who you are. It rhymed. I love rhyme poetry; it is a pleasure to read. I didn't think it felt forced, and the flow of the words, the sounds, the syllables, the meter, was very good.

Did you win this contest?


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Review by 777
Rated: E | (4.0)
I really liked this for being such a short poem, and that is kind of rare. The last line really communicates what you are trying to say with the word "profits". The poem flowed very well. I wasn't expecting that, given that it is free verse and following a certain form. In my honest opinion, on a side note, I don't see the point in following specific forms. How is a form established? What's the point? I think it is more of a challenge, more of a writing exercise than anything else. My opinion of course.

Nicely done. Keep writing.


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Review by 777
Rated: E | (3.5)
I would say nice job, considering you followed a structure like that. My only criticism is that you were repetitious with words. From my understanding, and I could be wrong, is that you use repetition in poetry to emphasize a point or concept. These words were repeated for just meaning in the lines. I would suggest using different words even if they make the rhyme complete. It would sound better. But, considering the constrictions of this form of poetry (set structures are very constrictive) it is a descent job.

Keep writing!


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Review by 777
Rated: E | (3.5)
I don't understand the other language and other authors at the end and beginning. I guess that is on me.

In my previous experience, I had a friend that was truly in love. He loved her so much, he let her go, because he knew he couldn't provide the life that she deserved. He could barely make ends meet.

They are both happy now.

I feel the same way. Right now in my life, I cannot provide adequately to someone. But maybe that will change, and in some people, it just can't change. They are unwilling to change, or they have changed enough or been through enough they can't change. Changing is exceptionally hard. So I can relate to what this piece is saying.

I would say, it would be better if there was more. I felt cheated. I got sucked into this mental anguish and then it ended. I would consider adding more content if you want the material to be better.

Overall, nice job.


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Review of Phoenix  
Review by 777
Rated: E | (4.0)
I saw your piece on the request review page so I figured I would contribute cause I would like my essay reviewed. I thought I would give some back. Anyways, I thought this poem was a basic clean poem. There is nothing bad about it. I kind of write the same type of poetry. The meaning is clear as day, and there is little responsibility up to the reader to decipher what the meaning entails. One criticisms I have with you as I have with myself, is that you are using pretty plain and generic vocabulary. More advanced vocabulary really does add meaning and details to a poem. It can be over done, but with a nice descriptive word or two the poem can suck a reader in further. The only way to expand on vocabulary, for the most part, is to read. And, it would help to read other poetry, even advanced poetry from the greats. They will use a line with vocabulary that not only has multiple meanings, it will also encompass imagery and emotions, maybe even irony! Really powerful lines, that have to take such a long time to construct. If you are like me, and can write a poem with some effort, but are able to do it quickly considering the length - we are most likely not writing as powerful poetry as we could. It is just what I have found out at least.

Overall, nice job. But I just wanted to give you some pointers on how to make the poem a little better. Again this is a contest entry to sorry for the lecture. Write up!


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Review of Memory, May I?  
Review by 777
Rated: E | (4.5)
This poem is really good considering you had the constraints of using certain words in your poetry. Nicely done. I did like how there was a little rhyme at the beginning of the poem. But the poem itself had a good meaning. Enjoying life and its riches while not being forced to work a job that is meaningless. But sometimes somebody doesn't know exactly what would change their life for the better. Sometimes people just get into autopilot.

Anyways, brilliant job. Write up!


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