What a stunning tribute! I wish that I could have the opportunity to meet the man who helped to shape the amazing lady that we call Kiya.
Your poem paints a clear and beautiful picture of a wonderful man. I can see you sitting on his lap drinking in all that he had to share with you. I have a lovely picture in my mind of tiny Kiya standing in the center of the room starring at all the books with stars in her eyes and a huge smile on her face.
Headphones and Books on Tape...not the perfect solution...but he is able to maintain his independence, which I am sure is still very important to him.
This is a lovely forum. What an awesome Angel you are to take up this cross. I am sure that all the authors that are honored here are pleased with your efforts.
Thank you for the link to dear Johns obituary. He was such a dear. I am having such a hard time thinking about the fact that I will not again get a review or an e-mail signed...Always your friend, John.
I look forward to the time when I can visit the ports of the other authors...What a lovely legacy!
Wow...this is an amazing dream and you convey it so well. Maybe it is a past life, the female in the dream definitely appears to share some core qualities and values with you.
How brave, what an awesome legacy for your little son..."I want you to look me in the eyes when you shoot me. I want my face to haunt you!"
What that we could all face our evil accusers with such strength and conviction.
You are an awesome lady and I love the way that you think!
I have been overtaken by this piece. I love the imagery and the life of it. You have so skillfully crafted a definition of temptation, wonder and the elusiveness of innocence. It is just amazing.
I am so pleased and honored to have been the one to discover you. You truly are a Rising Star!
It seems so innocent...52 Candles...and it starts in a light and jovial way to tell us a little story...to prepare to celebrate a day. Then the skillful words overtake us and blam right between the eyes...my heart still aches with the author.
This is an incredible work of poetry. It is an outstanding lesson in life. I love the cadence and the flow of it. I approve of your subtle left hook.
I hope that you learn to forgive yourself as well...that is one way in which you would never want to emulate your dear mother.
Bravo, bravo...a piece we all should read...but if you trust my counsel, a hankie you will bring because this work of poetry is much more than a light and jovial thing.
It is true that you must believe in yourself first. Without this foundation, not much else will work out for you.
Still, I believe that your take on God will be just as detrimental to your success. No one goes through this life alone. He is the Alpha and the Omega...there is not one spot in this galaxy where God is not near.
The poem is well constructed and flows quite nicely up until the last line. The last line (for me) fell flat.
Thank you for sharing your view with the community.
This is a powerful story. I must admit that it started out a bit slow...but that really didn't last long. Within just a few short paragraphs I was wishing that I had paid more attention in those Evelyn Wood Seminars that my friends dragged me to.
The main character is wonderful. I liked the way that you managed to sneak her into my heart. She is very likable as well a really believable.
I had a problem with some of your language...I found myself wondering if I had slept through some of my science courses...or perhaps it was just science that and terminology that you had made up for the benefit of this story.
I really enjoyed the setting, it was very cool to imagine a research station in the type of location that you describe.
A few suggestions/corrections you might wish to consider...
"...in case somewhat got it into their head to steal it..." should this have been someone
"Alaura was impressed however." Based on the context this seems awkward, consider dropping the however
"How(add comma) is something I cannot say...yet."
Overall: an interesting and riveting story that most certainly could do with more installments.
Thank you for sharing this story with the community.
Good day to you fellow Rising Star, it is with great pleasure that I stop by your port today...What a wondrous blessing this journey that our dear Gabriella has set us upon is!
What a touching and inspiring tribute!
My condolences on the loss of your dear brother.
This is a well written poem. Normally I am not a fan of poetry that is written so tightly...but in this piece it fits...Life is short...compact and you and your brother are bound tightly together.
My favorite line:Just build a good tomorrow
simple but sage advice...too often we waste so much time dwelling on the past that we miss today and tomorrows as well
Thank you for sharing this piece with the community.
The poem is well crafted...I enjoyed the intertwined structure of the rhyme. The meter nicely supports the feeling of wonder and confusion you have throughout the piece. There are no spelling or grammatical errors that I noticed.
I have a question/suggestion, if you will... In the last stanza you quite abruptly shift from a bleeding to a healing flower. Was this intentional...ie in keeping with the material provided by the dream? For continuity and comfort of the reader I think healing might better be replaced by "dying" or "fading."
If you are interested I would be happy to give you my interpretation of this dream.
Report From the Lansing Investigation
By LA Powell
This, I must admit was very difficult to read. The doctors words (very appropriately) are tangled and wreak of a need to limit liability. He does not ever commit to anything and at times appears to really be saying absolutely nothing. (This, my dear, Lisa, is ingenious...you have nailed the character...my hat is off to you)
The poem...wow...I can only begin to imagine the depth of experience that allows a person to have such a keen and multifaceted insight into the mind of a madman. This is an awesome work...it could be paraded out as a children's poem or keep locked up in a top secret file at the BAU. Bravo, my dear, bravo!
The artwork...to be honest, that really blew me away...covering only one eye and the bulging heart shape...absolute genius!
You are on the track to hit the New York Times Best Sellers list and I am so proud to have had the opportunity to share this with you in its infancy!
No, my dear, Diva, as far as I am concerned you are not. Why in the world so many people are taken by this "sport" is far far beyond me. I too have been around golf for quite a while and to tell you the truth you could not pay me to even take lesson one.
The piece is very well written. It has a genuine humor about it. I can feel your frustration as you try to twist yourself into the reportedly natural position that is necessary to execute a good swing.
Thanks for sharing this story with us...If only it would deter people from playing this ridiculous game.
I personally love golf courses but abhor golfers and the game itself.
This is a wonderful piece of self encouraging poetry. It reminds me of the things that we share with people trying to overcome one addiction or another. This is the way that all the most impossible things are done...one day at a time.
What an amazing world this would be if wine only came in bottles and boxes. If you could go happily about achieving your goals without the input of the negative people.
Keep up the wonderful attitude and stay on the positive path and before you know it just today will turn into just another in a long string of days.
This is a charming snapshot of the humor that exists in everyday life. Though the piece had me chuckling I must agree with your mother, it really was not funny and it does qualify you as a smart *$$!
You have a talent here that you should cultivate...you are able to take a piece of everyday life...a funny happening if you will and relate it with a style and flair that makes for a really good read.
Thank you for sharing this touching story with us. Your grandmother is the keeper of much wisdom, I hope that you avail yourself of as much of it as possible.
The writing is clean, crisp and clear. There are no spelling or grammatical errors that I noticed.
As I said after reading "The Dog Bone" I hope that you will share more of your Grandmother's anecdotes with us.
What a lovely little poem, I love the meter and the rhyme. It flows quite well and I would love to play.
Unfortunately for me, today is not my lucky day...I have some ideas...which I am sure are wrong...could you be talking about music or a mocking birds song?
Ah, well no matter regardless of what the answer may be...this is a lovely little poem...a very deserving read. I have not one suggestion for improvement. It should stand as it is.
Ah...the major questions of the human existence. This is a sweet little whimsical look at the things that have puzzled most of us since, I don't know, second grade maybe.
I like the approach that you took. The short and sweet nature suits the material perfectly. I beg to differ with you though, this is not an attempt at poetry...you have succeeded.
Haiku's as I remember it are supposed to paint a picture. It is the art of conveying a great deal of meaning with a very few words. This unfortunately falls short.
I would think that after reading your piece I would know of which reality show you speak...that is not the case. I came away from it with an overwhelming feeling of ..."huh...what?"
The structure is correct and the syllable count is spot on...My suggestion, sit with your topic a bit longer and see if you can't find words that will make the topic crystal clear to the reader.
What a lovely story...I hate to sound this way...but those were the days. Today you have a hard enough time getting what you pay for let alone having a store owner do something out of a sense of kindness or charity.
The writing contains no errors that I could discern and the voice is pleasant and inviting.
Thank you for sharing this story, I hope that you will grace us with more interviews with your grandmother.
This is a work of art. I love the voice in which you speak. I love the matter of fact way in which the poem flows from one amazing thing to another.
I adore the message of the piece. I especially like the fact that you have woven it into the spaces between the lines.
I think that it could use to be brushed up a bit...you should take a good look at couplets 6 and 8 they somehow fall short of the power that the other couplets wield.
Overall this is a wonderful poem with an outstanding message of appreciation and respect. I really enjoyed it.
May I extend a warm welcome to you and your ideas I hope that you will both be around WDC for a long time to come.
This is a poem that has so many layers...on the surface it is the tale of an abused little girl longing for the light and peace of freedom from abuse.
There is more though... it is a portrait of a monster, the type of monster that lives next door, manages your money market account or ushers you in to your favorite swanky restaurant. The kind of monster that can get away with anything and everything because no one could ever imagine him doing the things that he has done.
On yet another level it is a love poem...it speaks of and to the love of God and the unbelievable strength that can be drawn from that love.
I could write forever about this poem. It is among the most skillfully written pieces that I have encountered here on WDC. There are no spelling or grammatical errors. It is just another feather in the cap of an outstanding author. I can hardly wait to read the rest of the saga and see exactly where this haunting poem actually fits in.
Fantastic piece of poetry that touches, tortures and teaches all at the same time.
Good day to you my fellow Rising Star. It is with great pleasure that I have come to your port in search of of something to read and review.
This particular work is stunning. It captures so clearly that feeling of things slipping away. The feeling that somehow in "growing up" we lost something precious, something that needs to be recaptured.
I love the reminiscence of it. I see the sparkle in your eye as you relate the stories with which you had been in love.
As I approach this time in my life...I am becoming aware of what must be a part of the divine plan...In ten years or so as memory fades and reality has been romanced these days (right here, right now) will too, be the good ole days.
Excellent piece of prose...thanks for sharing your insight.
As a member of the family of 3000 that were lost in the World Trade Center Bombings, I thank you for this insightful and touching retrospective on the event.
The writing here is quite good and for the most part the facts are spot on... As the daughter of a WWII Vet, I take exception with one statement. "...will forever be remembered as the day that the United States of America received the biggest slap in the face in its history." WHAT ABOUT PEARL HARBOR?
I saw a story on the news recently in where they did a poll which revealed an incredible number of people do not remember Pearl Harbor...they were saying the the construction that is beginning at ground zero is destined to ensure that people will forget 9.11 as well.
Overall this is a wonderful tribute to the people and events that occurred on 9.11 and the people who have made it their life's mission to right the wrong and defend the flag.
Well Done!
I am reviewing this piece because it was submitted by a Heavenly Rose as her pick of the week. You most certainly spread love and support faith with this piece. If only our leaders could find and embrace some wisdom...what a wonderful world this could be.
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