As I am crying now for you. It is so hard to lose a dog that has been your friend, guardian, angel and "son" as you so rightly put it. What a wonderful tribute you have written to him.
This is good. When I was reading it I felt as though I was weightless and floating with the flakes. I do not know much about poems, but I do know what I like. Great writing!
Lynda with a Y
WOW! What an incredibly fantastic horror story you have here! It scared the pants off of me and I probably won't sleep tonight. The only thing as suggestions that I have to say is , there are some misspelled words that need to be taken care of. Other wise, I would not change one thing. I hope yo submit this somewhere.
I thought your story had a good beginning, but I found myself lost as I read on. It was difficult to say who was who. The story needs a lot of work but but will be a good one when you reread it and make some changes. Don't hive up as it could be funny and intriguing at the same time.
Lynda with a Y
OH my gosh. I cry for you. I have had many dogs and when I lost one it took forever to get over it. Your dogs are so special and I can't imagine having one to help e and losing them so soon. I cry for you, but I know that you have a great dog with you. God Bless,
Lynda with a Y
Oh my gosh, my Uncle would have loved this poem. He flew in World War II and retired from Service after 20 years. He then took a job with American Airlines and he was over all maintenance of planes. He loved planes and would go out to the airport, park, and watch the belly of the jets as they came and went. We all use to go with him. It was fun. I don't believe he ever miss the Blue Angels if they were near with a show.
Thanks for those wonderful memories.
Lynda with a Y
Very nice. I am glad that I read it on the eve of Valentine's day as it is so appropriate! I can feel the cabin and the fire. I can hear the strange noises outside but am totally aware s I am with the one I love. I would not change anything. Beautiful
Wonderful poem. I would get rid o a lot f the "that's" I tend to do the same thing and I have to go over and over my work to throw them away. The last stanza confused me because it doe not read well. Rewrite it. Everything else is great!
Lynda with a Y
This is good, really good! You hooked me at the very beginning and all the way through. I would like to know if she did indeed have the FLU. I supect so, but it was a great way to leave us hanging. Very well written. Write on!
Well, mean old Lucien! This was predictable but I loved the way you wrote it. Great short story. Keep up the good writing that you have. I like your style.
Lynda with a Y
Good story. I believe I would incorporate (5th line down) I set behind a wall and wrapped my arms. I would like to see you expand on what happen. How did it happen and how the mom died. It leaves me hanging. Keep up the great writing! Don't get discourage as this is very good.
Lynda with a Y
This brought too many thoughts into my mind. You gave an emotional story and laid it out pretty well. I was confused on the mother/daughter part. I thought the mother was thinking all to herself and then you went to the daughter. The transition should have been clearer. Not to worry, I would love to reread it when you rewrite that part. Good job!
Lynda with aY
Great story! I hope it isn't finished and this is just the beginning. I would like to know what happens in Jack and Mattie's life. You have a great beginning, middle and end and they transit very well. I like the way you talk about the characters because you bring them to life for the reader.
Add a sequel! LOL! NO kidding. God , solid writing.
Lynda with a Y
I think you have met my 11 year-old grandson. LOL! He knows it all too! Thanks for such a well written poem. It speaks volumes to the reader. It is very special and I can see why. Keep up the great writing!.
Lynda with a Y
WOW! Would love to have someone interrupt this dream! Guess you are working through something, you just can't figure it out yet. I like the way you handled the entire dream. It was written as a scary story. It could have been an episode of Rod Stirlings "Twilight Zone." Keep this up as you know how to put it down on paper to make it very interest! Great job!
Lynda with a Y
I like your story. Are dogs your favorite animal or one of your favorite animals. You don't say what some of the others are. You need to watch the tense in the sentences. Don't worry, I do the same thing myself. I wish there was an easier way for us to know what tense goes with our sentences. LOL! Read you story out loud to yourself or have someone read it out loud to you. You can hear what you need to change. The same with your footnotes. I would talk more about Abby and what she is like. We already know that the Boxer is your very favorite of the two. Keep writing! Rework this story. I would love to see it again when you are finished editing it.
Lynda with a Y
Predictable, but good. You keep my interest till the ending. You gave a good setting with a short story. Kuddos to you! Keep up your writing!
Lynda with a Y
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