You have chosen a different style of writing It seems that you are talking about hell. You are asking the person whether he would look through that door...he will never be the same again. Everything is dead and smells of decay.
I think that this poem has got a good flow. It is free style. I would also add some genres to this poem eg. occult, horror etc
I have noticed some mistakes. The fifth stanza, 1st line: you should be your.
I would change the following sentence in the 2nd stanza: You'll never be you again. It think that it sound better in this way: You'll never be yourself again.
I don't know whether 'blacken God' makes much sense. I think that 'blackened God' would be better. However, this is just my opinion.
I like the last line of each stanza cos you alternate between Take a stroll and become inhuman and Will you look inside that ghastly door?
I really enjoyed reading this poem!
Thanks for sharing this with us
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I really like this acrostic poem! You have done a good job here. You even highlighted In My Hands so that they would stick out!
You are speaking about hands which need more and are searching for more. Your hands are hurt because it seems that you have lost someone dear and your hands cannot hold what you seek for. It seems that at the end your hands will close and you will stop seeking.
It is as though your both your soul and your hands are seeking for something.
This poem is free style but it is well written.
I have no suggestions to give you.
Keep up the good work
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Wow! This is a really well written story. I did not think that this story was going to end up this way. It seems to talk about fate...It was destiny for 3 generations to 'meet' on a bench by the river.
The ending is very emotional. Before I read the last 2 paragraphs, I though 'but what does the old man have to do with the story??!!' It all made sense at the end! One can guess that Paul did not marry his girlfriend.
I have no suggestions to give you because I think that it is perfect!
Thanks for sharing this piece!
Keep writing!
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This is a well written poem. I am glad you won 1st place in this contest! The poem is free style and yet it has an excellent flow.
You describe the evergreen tree's life in so much detail! I like the imagery you use too. I like the way you start by saying that it is crowned by heaven and at the end you say that it anointed by heaven.
I have seen no errors in grammar and I have no suggestions to give you because I think that it is perfect!
Keep up the good work!
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I enjoyed reading this poem. You are praising God and praying too. This poem is so touching because it makes you think about how thankful we should be for God's kindness. At times we do not notice how grateful we should be. We are so used to everything!
It is nice to see that you think about him when you wake up and when you are going to sleep.
I have noticed no grammatical errors and I have no suggestions to give you
Keep it up!
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I have really enjoyed reading this poem. It is a well written poem and it is very emotional too. I can imagine that this woman has been left by her lover and she is crying for all the opportunities she will miss. I really like the beginning: The rain pours down outside my window but also inside me
This poem is written in free style form and it has a good flow.
You manage to make the reader feel what this woman must be feeling. You end this poem beautifully.
Suddenly I'm not quite so sad
Though there's still a scar on my heart.
I've found some comfort despite the pain,
By simply crying in the rain.
I have seen no grammatical errors or errors in punctuation. Keep up the good work!
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You have done a goob job here! You have made a good introduction to the folder and I really like the photos of your children The one where they are younger is so cute! You are blessed to have them in your life.
You have put quite a lot of items in this folder regarding your family and it shows that they are really important to you.
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I can't understand how you didn't have any ratings for this because I think that it is really well written. I don't know whether is is biographical too. You seem to know too well about this condition and it's as though you are writing through experience. If you are not, then well done because you are really talented!!!!
You speak about yourself suffering from rheumatoid arthritis, a condition which can be very crippling and painful. It can affect the person's feelings especially at a young age.
I really like the last sentence: or can I find the treadmill of life strong enough to help me back into an exercise regime again?
I would only arrange the emoticons because they do not show on this page.
I have no other suggestions to give you because I think that it is perfect
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I really like this poem because it relates to me. I suffer from depression so I can understand what you are saying here. You have managed to capture the feelings which a person who suffers with depression has everyday. They are mixed feelings and can be confusing to someone who does not suffer from depression. You are asking to be left alone but at the end you cry for help.
I like the words you use: enshrouding and encroaching . They make you sense the darkness and void which is caused by depression.
There is only one line which I think needs some correction because it does not make much sense. I want left here alone. Perhaps, you could do: I want to be left here alone.
Keep up the good work!
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I really like this poem and the message you convey. It is true, saying goodbye is the hardest thing to do. You are describing the emotional turmoil in this person who knows that she has to leave this person. She knows that she will be lonely but she has to say goodbye.
I really like the following sentences: Letting go just as hard as issuing the word
I realize fantasies aren’t meant to last,
and
Some dreams just aren’t meant to be captured
The stars once seen in my eyes vanish,
Keep writing!
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I think that you did a good job here in setting this folder up! You made a collection of all your older poems written over 16 years. I love all your poems.
Just one suggestion: you should specify the genres i.e. poetry, emotional, biographical etc.
I think that you have done a good job here. You give a lot of advise to a writer who is trying to write a story. You show the writer how he or she can 'breathe life' in their characters.
I really liked all the points you gave especially 'live with your character' i.e. imagining what he would be doing in certain situations.
I enjoyed reading this short story. You are very imaginative and I like the descriptions. However I think that you should arrange some parts because it was a bit confusing at some points. Eg. the part when he is speaking to the barman and when he is thinking.
I have also noticed some spelling mistakes or words which should be added or changed:
-I have noticed that you 'ghosts' in the 1st paragraph should be 'ghosts'. i.e. If ever there was a place full of ghost it was this place.
-You should include had in the following sentence (3rd paragraph: 'He had been down ...'
- Non-intimadateting should be non-intimidating .
- Feel should be felt in the following sentence: 'It was like time stood still I was told that my eyes glazed over and I felt to the floor holding the phone.
I think that it is a well written poem. I really enjoyed reading it. You wrote about the longing 2 people have for eachother because they don't see a lot of eachother.
THis poem has a good flow and the rhyming is good too. I have no suggestions to give you cos I think that it is brilliant!
My favourite part is: Those few precious hours
I cherish each time.
Hold them deep in my heart,
Till next time you're mine.
Keep up the good work!
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I think that this is a good poem. I'm sorry about what has happened to you. It is something which is difficult to overcome but I hope that you have friends who help you.
I like the way you begin and end the story...you start by saying that you used to dream when you were a child and you end by saying that you wish you could dream again.
I think that this poem would have looked better if the stanzas were a bit longer. However, this is just my opinion. I think that it is a good poem on the whole and it has a good flow.
Keep it up!
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This is a good poem and I enjoyed reading it. It talks about how humans were living in sin, their souls were decaying and they were full of greed etc. Then God gave us Mary...but now it is as though our she can see how humans were before. We are probably worse than the people in her times cos values hardly exist anymore. I like the last paragraph cos you say that you will only rest when you will die cos you will finally be in peace.
Just a few suggestions:
I think that you should have stuck to the same number of lines per stanza cos the poem would have a better flow.
I think that you should remove the from the 8th stanza so that it would read like this:
But look at us all now
This is a beautiful poem! I had to read it once more because I got a bit confused but when I read it again, it all made sense!
I like this poem because you spoke about a person who is dead and who is finding it hard to let go. She cannot be seen by no one except by a little girl. She wants to know whether she is missed and she finally gets to know at the end.
My favourite part is: I wonder if you still think about me
And if you miss me as I miss you.
I get my answer when I hear you weep,
calling out my name, and I leave you in peace.
This poem has got a good flow. I have no suggestions to give you.
Well done and keep it up!
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I think that this is a good first poem! It deals with the way a person feels about her body and mostly about her innerself. I think that a lot of women feel like this. It is as though this woman passes through this everyday. You end this poem by saying that this woman smiles as though she does not care about her figure.
Each line flows effortlessly eventhough it is free style.
I have no suggestions to give you because it is well written.
Well done and keep it up!
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This is brilliant! I like the way you describe the willow trees being alone and weeping. It makes the reader feel sad...you manage to convey these feelings to the reader, well done!
This poem has a good flow and the rhyming is excellent! My favourite sentence is : The beautiful song you so long to hear,
Is the ever soft rhythm of their falling tears.
Keep writing!
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I like this poem, it is as though you are searching for yourself. However, it seems that you are sort of distant...you are taking a lot in and yet your mind is else where.
This poem has a good flow nad the rhythm is good too. I have given you a four because I think that you can still improve this poem by making a bit more longer. It is fine as it is but you could go into a bit more detail.
This is only my opinion. On the whole I think that it is a good poem.
Keep writing
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It seems that you are talking about hell. You are asking the person whether he would look through that door...he will never be the same again. Everything is dead and smells of decay. 
