Hi T L Finch. I like this poem. It flowed very well and was real smooth on the tongue when read outload. Though I have very little experience in writing poems, I have a draw to them and appreciate one that is well thought out and well written. Overall, I enjoyed this one. Good Job Ski
Well Tylerr, This was an interesting story. It easily brought out many emotions as a good story should.I found myself feeling sorry for this guy but at the same time wishing he would wake up and grab a hold of life.... then live it for Christs sake. I think the ending is what his frame of mind wanted but viewed it as selfish in a way. Overall good read. Ski
Hi Lou, What an excellent read. I am surprised as this is the first time I read someone who actually came from my home state. So people do write from here (other than Stephen King) I can relate to your words and agree on many points. My big difference is that I do have a strong opinion on some of those issues beyond our reach and out of our control. I am one of those people that can talk all day about what we should be doing (as a nation) but I do very little to change it. I wish I had what it took to jump in and make the changes I vision, but at the same time I realize that many people with good intentions did just that. The problem is that in our political structure, you have to play along to accomplish anything. Just like this funding bill for the troops....If you want the money, we will give to you but you have to live by our timetable (like they really have the knowledge and experience to create an adequate one) and you have to give us billions of dollars to spend whatever way we want. That is so crazy, but that is our system....the one we created. Why can't we just say yes or no, whatever the merit is? Anyway, enough ranting. Great peice. Ski
Hi Jean, Funny, this piece actually protrays the thoughts of many. When I started here (which was only a few months ago) I did not consider myself a writer either. I felt I was not worthy of that title. Now after getting some positive (and some negative) feedback, I realize that I am a writer after all. Maybe not a very good one, but a writer none the less. Good Job SKi
Hi Redbowtie, I like this poem. I assume that, as she grew up, you became less of her imediate life, which is normal but parents still struggle with their children growing up and spreading their wings. Very moving piece. After reading this, I think you would enjoy this one written by me.
Just click on the link.
Hey Nadine, When you creat an item, there are choices like static item etc. It is there that you create your bog. read through the choices and you will be walked through it. Also seeing you are requiring diapers, hold on to your GPs as you will need them Diapers are expensive now a days Ski
Nadine, You expressed my feelings so well, I couldn't have said it better. Imus should not have been fired nor the program director because the station created policy when it allowed their activity for 30 years and this particular show was no different. We do still have freedom of speech don't we? Ski
Cat, what a great story! Mine is so different. I never enjoyed english in High school and did not excel in that field. I did have a longing for mystery and read every Hardy Boy and Nancy Drew book written, when I was young (10-13 years old.) I did not go to college and until last year (I turned 50) I did not write a thing. So last year I was emailing a friend and got a little crazy with my imagination, they emailed back and said I should write because it was good. Well since then I wrote a couple stories and found this site. At this point I have not figured any goals except that I like writing. Maybe I will submit something or write a book who knows. At this point, I havn't actually convinced myself that my writing is more than a fun hobby. I have no experience, so we will see I guess. Congrats to you I hope your book goes well. Ski
Hi Sheshad, I am helping Pyper judge the addictions contest. It is so difficult to pick with so many great entries. I like this poem. of course I can relate because I have a great weakness for sweets. I like the way you incorporated the hidden weight gain as a byproduct. If only we could lose it as easy as we gain! Your poem flowed well and reflected a certain amount of emotion. Good Job Ski
Hi WD, I am helping Pyper judge the addictions contest. I really enjoyed your story, The emotion rolled off the screen and it was a very creative view of an addicted mind that does not really realize their problem as a problem. They are so deep in the addiction, it becomes normal to them. Your peek into this guy's mind is very believable and the ending was an unusual twist. I found the twist to push the story up in comparison to an expected ending. This was great read. Good job Ski
Hi Khalish, I am lucky enough to be a judge in Pyper's addiction contest. I liked your poem and it flowed well. I understand your meaning as far as the internet but was a little lost with the ending. The jump from internet to food? This ending caused me to think that it was rushed to a close. As far as emotion, I didn't feel anyfrom this piece. I did like the creativity and the message was believable. Good job Ski
Hi Phelina. I am helping Pyper judge her contest. Luckily I get to read all these great entries. It is so hard to pick the best! Anyway I liked your piece, it protrayed the voice within us all that may or may not lead in the right direction (usually not I think) I did not feel the emotion from this piece that I would look for in an addiction but it is quite creative and I like the way it is left up to the reader what the drug of choice is. I am not sure how believable the piece is but who knows what goes in people's minds. Overall a well written piece and I enjoyed it. Ski
Hi, This is an base for a decent story. I feel that it would read better if somewhat longer with a better description of the actual event (maybe lead in at the end) or a more emotional view in the begginning. Overall I think it has merit as an idea for a story. Just expand a little. Ski
Jaybird, Excellent poem. I think it shows that you are still thinking clearly even if you are struggling. Writing this is a step forward and every single step has meanning. Your thoughts radiate off the read and it flows well. Overall very good piece. Ski
I like this piece. I used to watch all the Star Treck shows and did like Scotty. Funny, it seems like he was the only one that protrayed real heritage on the show. One other thing I never understood, he was in charge of the power of the ship and had great responsibility, so why did he have to run the transport controls? You would think a less important helper would have that job, wasn't he too busy with the engines and stuff? Ski
Hi, This a real good start and the story has a good plot to work with. AT this point you are "telling" A story and that creates a good base. Now you need to incorporate some "showing" this will bring some emotion and imagery to your story and make it so much better. Good job Ski
Bugzy, I really enjoyed this read. The beginning seemed a little slow but built up to great imagery.
I could almost hear the leaves falling. Of course it helps that I have heard them before. I live in the country and spend a lot of time running in the woods. I love the feeling and sounds mother nature provides for us. Great job. Ski
Wow, Very vivid. It is amazing what some people have to do and then live with. The hero is surely the one who knows in his heart what is right. Great read. Ski
This is pretty good. It didn't flow as well when read outload though. I think you could critique it a little more. Overall, a good theme and a good start. ski
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