I like this piece very much and like your play with words...there is a very nice flow here and with the
exception of one word in this line: 'Lead (my) into those deep caverns. I think you meant (me). Thank you for sharing and I look forward to visiting again very soon...Would really look nice in color and centered...just a suggestion.
Oh! Meg what a little darling this is...grand’s aren't they the best...what would we do with out them and helping us get dressed....I know the feeling when mine come over and make me up and comb my hair...I don't need hair spray for two week's when they get through...thanks Meg for sharing this cutie and you can borrow a scarf from me anytime....
Sincerely
Marlena
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What a beautiful poem to the love of your life...I think that anyone who has been in love can relate to this cutie...I liked every line but these lines took my heart....
'You walked into my life like a fresh breeze upon my face
You won my heart over never wanting a memory to erase'
Thank you Bella, for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
I would be honored to be a charter member of Heavenly Roses...with you and your new group....thank you for the invitation...I love roses of course and I truly love castles so I know this will be very lovely and very fulfilling....
Love
&
Big Hugs
Anyone who went to all this trouble to show others that they cared about spending the day with them, truly desevers a 5 star rating...I so enjoyed this little story and your telling it in poetry form was perfect...your visual images made me see everything all to clear...thank you so much for sharing and I'll be coming back to visit again....
Sincerely
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I like this little piece about the directions to
ones heart...hopefully you will or have found that
perfect someone who will make all your dreams come
true and make you happy beyond your wildest dreams.
Good luck with your writing and welcome to Writing.Com..
Such a beautiful piece and I so loved the word play! I found your visuals amazing and full of color filling the page...I found nothing that needed to be fixed, it is a perfect piece. These just happen to be my favorite lines although I love them all...
'She’s the sound of a train in
the distance softly saying
goodbye-goodbye until it’s
just the moon and I- She is
gone and we are waiting for dreams
to fill the measure of the night'
Beautiful, I'll be returning to read more from your pages.
Very lovely piece, the words bring to view the visual of all that you've written...I can see your beautiful African sky and smell the wood burning as your Mama prepares the meal...very nicely written and I thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com.
Very nicely written and I hope that the one you wrote it to can see the love and adoration shining from your eyes! I like the way you've brought the visual image into focus and I enjoyed reading it very much.
I like the whole piece but these are my favorite lines:
'My love for you burns like a never ending fire, To be with you is my only desire.'
Very nice, keep writing and welcome to Writing.Com.
I love this little letter to the mom's, and I can relate perfectly. I want to see my mom, one day but not too very soon. Great letter and great read. Thank so much for sharing this little piece with us and welcome to Writing.Com hope you're enjoying this vast community.
Sincerely
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Thank you for this lovely day spent walking in the drenching rain...like you I love the rain and could walk bare foot and naked in it if only it would rain here in California....We have been with out a good down pour for the past year so I truly envied your walk to touch a tree...I loved the descriptions and images you held out to the reader, thank you for the perfect visual and thank you for joining Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Funny after reading this lovely Haiku, I glanced over at the mantel above my fireplace and smiled at the one deep dark luscious petals of a single red rose from my own garden freshly cut this morning and placed in a lovely Crystal Vase, I was drawn once again to your single red rose in a crystal vase and your poem brought everything into perfect view...lovely description and well done for the image…one suggestion if I might add, a single cut rose in a crystal vase image would be lovely under this piece.
Thank you for sharing.
Sincerely
Marlena Duci
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This is the first of your pieces I have read, but for sure it will not be the last.
This piece held a lot of meaning for the young lad and it holds a lot for me...this was deeply written
and deeply felt as I remember such a time with my own
dad, perhaps it might have been the last time we took a walk alone together on the beach near our home...
Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem and let me say welcome to Writing.Com. I will be returning very
soon.
Sincerely
Marlena Duci
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Very nice piece, sweet little beat and enough rhyme to make the time...I truly enjoyed it the story told
the whole of it and I hope you got to see what lay behind the smile...keep writing and I'll drop by again to partake of what you have to read...hope you are finding your way around the community and welcome to Writing.Com.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Very nicely written great wording and the meter was just fine...I like the way you moved us from the dark ages into the new and right up to the now...I enjoyed your piece very much and thank you for sharing and welcome to Writing.Com. keep writing.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Very well written piece...with perfect meter and rhyme....The inside of one's soul can sometimes be
hard to take but you did it with simple explanations and the dialog was great...thank you for sharing this insight and welcome to Writing.Com...keep writing.
Could see you life ended
You final resting place I think you meant (your)
Sincerely
Mduci
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You truly said the magic words, why would one want to
change a person who was already made up from the first time one met them? Than that person is no longer a real person or them self, only what someone else wanted them to be....it's good when we can see this and know what it is to be real....enjoyed your writing very much...keep up the good job.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Yes, I can imagine his tears, his fears, the sadness of his face....The wrong that was done to extinct his race I saw in the eyes of an old man today I'm so sorry to say....Thank you for sharing this timely piece and welcome to Writing.Com...I look forward to visiting your port again.
Sincerely
Mduci
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Rose what a beautiful piece and I can truly relate to the words in the poem...at times my muse takes a vacation and is gone for quite some time...I love it and I'd like to say good luck in the contest and what a great read.
Mentoring is such a wonderful way of giving back to the youth of today who find themselves lost and alone with out the benefit of parents or grand-parents. What a wonderful organization the invisible youth group...good luck and good luck in the
contest.
What a little darling Meg...I love the old fashion way of dealing with changing baby. I enjoyed this little tale very much and want to wish you good luck in the contest.
I adore this piece and it flows just like the song...you make it speak from the inside out and that is good when one can hear the tune...great work, great piece and every line was a master piece of art. Thank you for sharing and looking forward to reading more from you very soon.
Sincerely
Mduci
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I also sing on plans while my headphones are on....trans-Atlantic, and I never stop until the plan lands! Some have called me a lot of names you don't want to know, and a few flight attendants call me a 'song bird' I'm not sure if that is bad or good but really I guess I don't care....I need to keep the pilot awake....
Big Hugs
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We have been with out a good down pour for the past year so I truly envied your walk to touch a tree...I loved the descriptions and images you held out to the reader, thank you for the perfect visual and thank you for joining Writing.Com.
